Life Problems

"Listen here Cheerilee all I want is a little money, just until my pay comes in next week" I asked from my kneeling position on the floor. She looked at me with her eyes full of annoyance (although I didn't really see the big deal in asking for a little bit of money) as she ran around the house looking for her keys.

"You are really something Grimy, a real slime ball that is" she said throwing the hurtful comment towards me. "Come on babe I just want to sell things, it's what my cutie mark says" I begged pointing to my flank where a picture of a briefcase and a red tie draped over it.

"No Grimy you don't and everypony knows it, you sell things over priced and you lie, trick and cheat everypony who ever tried to deal with you and quite frankly I don't want to come home one day and find you in bed with another mare… again" she said whilst finding her keys and jacket and heading for the door.

I got up and tried to grab her shoulder but she turned round and gave me a really large smack with her hoof across my face. "You are nothing but a con pony and I want you out of my house by the end of the day, I'm going to follow through and get that teaching degree and live a normal life instead of lending you money and getting death stares from all you're unsatisfied customers!" she yelled with a little bit of tears in her eyes.

She stormed out the door and left me standing there with my hoof on my cheek, feeling the tender points where I'm sure I had a hoof shaped mark. I slowly got up and walked to the door, straightening out my fifteen bit suit which I'd accidently forgotten to pay for.

I thought about turning on the tear ducts and getting her back and making up for it then turning my life around but he little voice in my head reminded me that it wouldn't benefit me since she was already too far gone so I opted for another option instead.

"You bitch!" I yelled, waving my hoof at her and going back inside to get my briefcase. I'd show her, I'd not only become the biggest and best business pony in all of Equestria but I'd also be running the land someday while Celestia kneeled before me.

I could imagine it now, my face on every flag, ponies crying my name out of love and not because I'd sold them coat hangers with termites in them.

I packed the remainder of my things into my suitcase before I grabbed my trusty briefcase with my mouth and made my way out of the door. "I left her anyway, she was just too down bringing" I told myself as I made my way down the street until I arrived at the nearest motel.

Entering the motel I went up to the counter where an old grubby looking, unshaved pony was sitting and reading an equally torn up and grubby newspaper.

"Good day sir, I require your cheapest and smallest room" I said rudely putting my bags down and scratching the back of my head.

The thuggish receptionist (most likely the owner too) looked up from his paper before shrugging and going back to it. Suddenly he jumped up and exclaimed "You're Shady Grimes"!

I rubbed my hoof against the chest and said "Why yes have you heard of me"? "Sure did, you were the one who sold me that door sign that had closed on both sides and you also had your way with my lady!" he yelled furiously.

"Ah, well I just stopped by to say that your girl was truly wonderful and that sign is actually an antique from the past and I'm going to run away now so bye" I said grabbing my briefcase with my mouth and abandoning my suitcase.

If there was one good thing about being a door to door con pony it was I that I was used to… situations like this and running from a slightly overweight guy who smelled of cheese was pretty easy.

However he began to shout "It's that damn con pony Grimes!" then everypony around who was working at vegetable stall, sitting in cafes or standing in their doorways and looking at why their doorknobs (which in my defence I'd sold cheaper than other products) was already broken after a day of use.

Soon I really was running for my life as ponies behind me amassed from a few disgruntled customers to angry mob status. Ponies of every race, colour and age who I'd cheated were after me, some gaining since I'd sold a few fake headband's to them which shrunk if ever wet.

"Let's kick him out"! "Let's shave his mane"! "Let's beat him senseless came the angry voices of the citizens at me. I wasn't affected at all by their comments on what they'd do to me but then I was very scared since I liked my green mane and didn't want "CHEAT" tattooed on my dark brown coat.

Some Unicorns tried aiming their telekinesis at me but luckily Nopony in town was a serious magic user. However that didn't stop them throwing anything they could grab at me.

I was panting heavily as I made my way out of town in a very quick fashion and since the crowd really seemed to have it in for me I kept going until I passed a familiar looking farm where I saw a young red colt and orange filly with apples for their cutie marks staring up at me as I ran and then at the crowd behind me.

I tipped my hat and ran on by, their expressions fixated on the crowd now as we all ran through the apple fields. Since there was plenty of ammunition now for the ponies to use I was pelted to the extent that bruises began to show on my sides by wave after wave of apples.

I was tired and really sore now and didn't understand why in the name of Celestia my girlfriend, the whole town and possibly every other town I'd been chased out of hated me when I was just trying to make a living doing what I was good at most.

I hadn't actually realised that Nopony was still chasing me and that I was deep into the Everfree forest and everything had gone really quiet and very scary.

"Well I guess it's the next town" I said to myself, fixing my cap and picking my briefcase up with my hoof before strolling where I believed was north and hopefully a path back to the main road and from there Baltimare.

"Damn Celestia why the hay is this forest here, should be cut down in fact maybe I should try and ask if I could get the wood for suggesting the idea" I said talking to myself. "You know Shady you are really bright I bet in fact that…" I paused suddenly, hearing a growl from behind me.

I was stock still and wanted to remain that way for eternity, however when a lot of drool began to slide down my back I began to sweat profusely and pant heavily.

They did always say that the Everfree forest was a no go zone if you didn't want your head chewed off. The breath I smelt was rank, horrible and more disgusting descriptive words which my brain couldn't think of since it was being overloaded with… that smell.

I decided that I could run but then what was the point since this animal was most likely stronger, faster and everything in between better than me.

I turned around and faced my fate, and everything went black as a night with no stars.

Thinking it was the end didn't really help much since deep down I felt extremely responsible for my actions but someday I'd always told myself I'd help them or I'd do something to fix my problems once and for all. However with death staring at me in the face of that moment the time it took me to turn around was like torture as I remembered every single bad thing I'd done.

Sticking gum in a colts hair in school, stealing from a pie shop when I was older all the ponies I'd lied, hurt and cheated too when I was a stallion and then final her.

Cheerilee, the filly I'd met in school that had shown me compassion despite my trickster ways, the girl who'd been my girlfriend without much complaint of my activities but tolerance and the hope that I'd somehow redeem myself, the girl who'd left me with tears in her eyes despite everything I'd done to hurt her.

"Cheerilee!" I yelled sitting up from the cold forests floor and looking around in surprise that I was not dead or waking up in the underworld. I looked at myself, I was fine not a scratch in fact I seemed to shine slightly in the night.

I was cut off from being amazed however when my clear mission in life became obvious. I had to get out of here, fix my wrongs and get Cheerilee back not to mention my sudden craving for tacos had to be sated (I guess near death experiences will do that).

I ran through the forest faster than when the crowd were chasing after me. I had absolutely no idea no idea where in Equestria I was going but I had to get out of this dangerous but eye opening forest and back to Cheerilee and hopefully a better life.

I ran through the overgrown forest fairly easier than I remember and barley felt the touch of branches or brambles when they hit me. I wish I'd paid more attention in Pony Scouts now since there should be a star or something to help me find where some other star or something was.

"Ok don't panic me just keep running until you find out where you are and then just" but I had to stop comforting myself when I accidently tripped and fell face forward down a huge hole where nothing but darkness seemed to reside.

I fell and I didn't like the red tinge that came up to meet me as I fell further into the darkness. Suddenly the ground appeared and at first I thought "I'm going to go splat"! But when I actually hit the ground all I felt was a faint thud and when I looked up I saw literally hell.

There was ponies drowning in pits of lava everywhere, smoke choked my lungs and blood coated the walls. There were nightmarish souls of the dead flying everywhere and atop other raised stone platforms ponies hung from thorns in horrifying positions. Oh and the screams tore through everything, they ranged from stallion to mare as everypony was punished for whatever they'd done in order to get sent to beyond Celestia's protection.

Suddenly there was movement behind me and I saw myself, except I was broken and looked crazy with thousands of cuts all over my body and the look of death in my eyes.

So this was my torture for my sins which so minor I had thought had earned me enough scores to get here to the underworld where a replica of myself would torture me for eternity for my wicked sins.

He moved closer towards me and I edged further back from him until my hooves were right up against the edge of oblivion. With nowhere else to run I could only cower as my eyes stared into mine and poured in all the hate they could.

Other me raised his hoof and prepared to strike me over the edge to where I could think about what I'd done. As the hoof rushed towards me I closed my eyes in anticipation for the feeling of falling and then burning alive or dead as it were.

However the hoof simply stopped and grabbed me by the shoulder. I opened my eyes and looked at demon me looking at me with the same hateful stare as before but this time he looked like he was in deep thought as if judging if I should be strung up with the ponies above me instead of getting the easy option.

"Don't waste it" he said in a very monotone voice and then he pulled a long sword out of the middle of nowhere and impaled me on it. I gasped as I felt it slice through the flesh of my stomach and felt the fresh sticky red blood gush from the wound and drip to the floor where it steamed and evaporated.

Suddenly it all turned intensely red and the screams faded along with the sense of standing it was like I simply existed now and didn't have a form until my vision turned white and then black the oddly enough it turned stripy before it became a mix of green colours that were fuzzy but soon began to materialize into reality.

I wondered if this was another hell trick but I supposed hell had a kind of burning and bloody theme instead of green trees and silence. Suddenly as if something could read my thoughts I heard a faint shuffling and a crackle of a fire or something.

"Oh you're awake" came a high pitched female voice that suddenly appeared over my lying form and looked over me. She disappeared for a while but came back with a small bowl and instructed "drink this". I did as she asked but tried to spit it out as I tasted what I thought was mud.

Although I couldn't see clearly I could tell she was annoyed and held my nose tightly, forcing me to drink the horrible mixture. "W…w…where" I spoke hoarsely feeling like my throat had been sliced apart by a Manticore or something.

The mare seemed to understand what I was trying to ask and said "you're deep into the Everfree Forest beyond any civilization and if you want to know how you got here I only know as far as dragging your almost lifeless corpse from the den of a Manticore family".

I tried to widen my eyes but it hurt to actually keep them open, in fact now that I thought of it I felt really pained everywhere like I was nothing but a bloody pulp.

"Rest, you've been through a lot and you are injured badly" said the mysterious mare. I did as she asked without argue but welcoming the embrace of sleep which seemed to relieve some of the pain the minute I closed my eyes and was consumed by darkness but not the kind that felt wrong but actually comforting.

I wondered if I would go back to pony hell but then I didn't have some mysterious mare to help me before so I believed everything would turn out ok as long as I didn't manage to alienate her in some way.

So I was immediately unconscious in a strange place and hurting all over after a brush with death and a glance at pony hell and yet I couldn't stop thinking about if my sui was torn or not.

However my thoughts moved onto my wrongs and what I was to do when I got out of this forest. I probably shuddered in my sleep since I began dreaming about having to work for everyone that I'd ever cheated which clocked up a fairly large number all over Ponyville and a few surrounding towns, even Canterlot.

"You should wake up now" said that voice again, cutting through my nightmares of working hard. I cracked my eyes open and slowly tried to sit up but pain immediately forced me back down and I groaned.

"Seriously get up, you've only got a few broken ribs and multiple large cuts all over your body, not to mention some other things" said this mysterious mare who in my opinion was not doing a very good job in playing the doctor.

I licked my lips from my lying position and attempted to talk for the first time in a while. "Y…You saved me from that?" I asked with a shaky voice that sounded like someone had mowed the lawn over it.

"Yes I saved you from a nest of hungry Manticore is probably what you're trying to ask isn't it?" she asked me in that high pitched voice which I thought could have belonged to the rich daughter of some dignitary instead of what I assumed was some crazy mare who lived in this scary and dangerous forest.

Suddenly I realized I couldn't see much out of my right eye and so I tried opening my eyes more to see if I could get a look at my saviour. I stretched them wider and wider but only my left eye seemed to get better visually.

My right eye however remained black and actually hurt to move my eye. I tried opening and closing them a few times and the mare must have got an idea of what I was trying to do as she said "You might not want to do that".

I looked around for her but it sounded like she was sitting to my right. Although I disliked causing myself unnecessary pain and winced at a paper cut I determinedly pushed myself slowly onto my side and looked for the first time at my saviour who was seated across the room from what appeared to be a wooden shack of some kind.

She was a younger mare than me and had a green coat and bright sky blue mane that looked like it hadn't been brushed in years. She was covered in scars but I could see her Cutie Mark of a tree although I couldn't tell much since my eyes were still quite unfocused still.

She looked at me with bright blue eyes which showed more than a fiery determination but also a lot of hidden pain which I was able to see since I had to tell the signs when I was going to be manipulating ponies.

"Maybe a few years ago I would have cared to tell you in a kinder way than this but since this place is all about not kind I'm going to tell you it straight out you have no right eye" she said fairly sprightly.

I blinked slowly and shakily tried to get up, but it proved very difficult for me with my multiple injuries but quite frankly I couldn't believe what she'd said was true if I'd even heard me right.

I was in a shack of some sort although it was half made out of bricks and other materials and as I looked around and found that it was quite big place and had many shelves of what looked like books.

I looked around and slowly raised a hoof to my eye, fearing what she had said about it. "Listen whoever you are but feeling it isn't really going to help since you're brain still thinks that eye is there you'll just freak yourself out".

I stopped short if touching it which really seemed like a good thing to do now although the mare said no. I decided to do it anyway and raised my hoof to my eye.

What I felt wasn't freaky but absolutely terrifying. Where my eye had been remained a hole into my head and it felt damn cold to the touch. Thankfully I didn't scream since I opted instead to pass out on the floor, hurting myself as I slammed into the hard stone of it.

Blackness covered me for some time but I awoke again in the same position as before on what felt like a table now since I was getting the feeling back in my body.

"You shuddered a bit and then you passed out" said the mare that had not a lot of sympathy for a pony who'd just lost one of his favourite eyes to a Manticore.

"Why did this happen to me" I sobbed. "I just want to go home" I cried silently and quite pathetically to say the least. "Well good luck with that because Nopony ever gets out of here" said the mare with not much empathy for me.

"Where a…am I?" I asked shakily, fearing the question my still gravelly voice asked. There was some more shuffling and it sounded like the mare had left me alone because of my question. But she returned after a few minutes with a canteen full of water.

"Drink" she said pushing it to my lips. I did so gladly but was disappointed when she pushed the canteen away from me and asked "what is your name"?

I tried to prop myself up like last time but decided I was kind of beginning to get sick of causing myself unnecessary pain. "I'm Shady, Shady Grimes from Ponyville" I answered with my voice slightly more normal.

"Are you sure you're ready to know where you are Shady?" asked this mare which made me dread whatever else life had the potential to throw at me. "I'm in the Everfree Forest right?" I asked. "Yes but what specific part are you in?" asked the mare.

This really puzzled me so I asked "What do you mean parts"? She seemed a little surprised that I didn't know any parts of the Everfree Forest which I believed to be untamed and mostly unmapped.

"This is the deepest parts of the Everfree Forest, far away from Ponyville and civilization this place used to be an attempted village but it failed and everypony died and do you know why?" asked the mare whose voice was getting really scary.

"N…no" I said shakily. "It's because these are the cursed parts of the Everfree, the points that instil the real fear that everypony has for this ancient forest of doom" she said in a much raised voice than when she'd started her little tale.

Now since I'd heard there were lots of curses from the one book I'd read when I was in school that had loads of colourful pictures and pop-outs I feared whatever curse may linger here in this already plenty enough scary forest.

"What kind of curse?" I asked but fearing for the answer. "A curse that is to trap anyone that enters here inside this section of the forest forever!" she yelled. This caused me to spasm slightly on the table since she was really good at instilling fear into an injured sales pony.

"Why can't we leave?" I asked curiosity overriding my fear. "Well you see this town and a few miles of surrounding forest are stuck in an endless loop, I don't understand exactly how it works but it keeps moving so that every time you get closer to the way out it pushes you back into the same section of the forest without you even knowing" she said with an air of bitterness.

"So how do you get trapped in here?" I asked not comprehending why I had stepped into the forbidden zone of the Everfree. "Well whatever animal walks in gets trapped and never gets out again" said the mare quite simply.

"But somepony has to have escaped in the past I mean there must be somepony to have told this tale?" I asked hopefully. "There may be a way but so far I haven't found it yet, there are various bones of dead creatures here from pony to griffon and more, nopony escapes Purgatory" she said moving around the room and collecting things.

"Purgatory?" I asked, slipping onto my side to try and take a look at what she was doing. "Yes I thought it was a fitting name for this place" she mumbled while picking up a multiple amount of knives which fitted onto her leg and tucked into her belt. Finally she slung a crossbow over her back and I asked "What are you doing"?

She opened the door to the half shack half library and explained "Since a family of Manticore has taken to these woods I have to go and deal with them before they realise that we are their only source of food and kill us".

"But what do I do?" I asked but she had already left the building, slamming the door behind her and leaving me in a very injured and depressed state. Had I not been so tired I would have probably cried but since I had plenty of positive thoughts of living here forever in my mind I was unable to fall asleep again.

So I just lay there, my world spinning as Purgatory consumed my mind and made me imagine if I'd die here quickly or maybe over fifty years of long drawn out torture. Forget my sins I can't help anypony if I'm stuck in this gigantic forest.

I tried sitting up again but it really hurt to blink with my now one eye which by the way still freaked me out and made me miserable since I was although used to run-down buildings they (as did most things in Equestria) have their charm intact whether by the attention they gave them outdoors or the fact that everypony generally acted friendly towards each other and had clean looking houses but this house or ruin was a complete mess, half made of bricks, wooden canvasing, parts of barrels and bits of metal which must have been scavenged from the other houses as the mare (whose name I hadn't had the pleasure to know yet) had said.

Eventually after a few hours of lying perfectly still I finally fell fast asleep with my thoughts racing through my head about Purgatory, my eye and Cheerilee whom I didn't actually know quite how much I'd missed.

I never actually thought about it but looking back on our relationship I was quite amazed that we'd lasted from when we were children to our present age even though I was always an ass to her. Cheating on her with any old mare, taking the money she needed to learn how to be a teacher, expecting her to do things for me when I should have done them myself.

In fact looking back on it I was surprised our relationship ever tried to exist in the first place since after adulthood I kind of stopped showing her the same affection that I did during school.

That's when I decided I couldn't just leave her there. She probably didn't love me and thought me out of town without a care in the world now but I needed to get back to her to at least pay her for her troubles since I pretty much just used her and then apologise.

The only problem with that great and wise plan was that I was in Purgatory which sounded like a death trap or possibly the gates of hell since I remember going into pony hell but then being pushed out so maybe this was the in between of those things.

Getting out according to the mysterious mare sounded impossible but I was kind of attempting to be a bit optimistic by thinking I'd discover some ancient rock that would zap me out of here and back to normality of tea and getting chased by angry mobs. Well maybe not that last part but the other stuff certainly.

My dreams were suddenly interrupted when I was awoken by a large howling noise and opening my eyes I saw that water was leaking into the shack in quite a large quantity from the boarded up windows and the cracks and gaps in the crumbly ceiling.

The wind was howling outside and I heard thunder flash and illuminate the dark interior of the shack for me. I felt a little less pained but still really tender with my body and especially my broken ribs. I didn't even try to think about my eye and decided it best to stay that way.

I slowly pushed myself off the table and like the day or however long ago it was before I stood up shakily but with more support, clasping the table and squinting to make out anything in the darkness.

I saw a candle which was illuminated during the flash and slowly went over to it, leaning on the wall with one foreleg for support of my body. After reaching the candle I blindly fumbled for any matches which might be nearby until I found what I believed were matches and lit one after a few tries.

I lit the little light and it gave faint, but warm glow and showed the entire shack except the darkened corners. I took the candle and went over to what looked like a chair and before I collapsed in it I had the sense to put the candle down on what I at first thought to be a table but turned out to be the stump of a tree.

This place was really a patchwork house. I picked up a nearby book which was loosely hanging from the shelf and read the slightly faded green cover with a picture of a plant all over it.

I couldn't see very well and didn't know if the mare approved of me having the candle on but since she was probably out doing her ancient warrior hero thing by killing some Manticore I presumed she didn't care at the moment.

I squinted and read the title "The Art of Detecting Plant Life" which I thought was a catchy title for a book. Had I not been incapacitated and stuck in this place I would have fallen asleep or stayed up late playing poker with some ponies but I didn't really have a choice here.

I skimmed through the Introduction and began to read about why some berry plants can kill you in less than three seconds but suddenly I heard a really large noise outside like somepony breaking something wooden.

Suddenly catching me completely off guard the mysterious mare appeared out of nowhere, opening the door in a hurry before closing it and putting a bolt which was propped up against the side of the door.

I stood weakly to go see if she was ok but I could already see that she had a large gash on her left side and her eyes were constantly fading in and out. She was muddy and breathing heavily and from what I hear outside there must be something chasing her.

"You, you're awake" she said, stumbling over to a nearby bookshelf and collapsing from her wound. I tried to think of something to do but suddenly there was a huge bang on the door and the shack rattled slightly, the candle flickering from its position on the stump.

"Dash it all I thought I'd lost that guy a while back in the graveyard" she said more in frustration than fear which must have been showing in me since my legs were shaking pretty badly. She however was calm cool and collective as another bang shook the door and opened a small crack in the middle of it.

"Listen whatever your name is that door has about two minutes max before a very pissed off and revenge wanting Manticore storms through it and eats us so take this and get adjusted to it" she said, handing me the crossbow which she painfully pulled from the strap on her back.

"What do you mean?" I asked in incomprehension as the crack in the door became a hole and suddenly a talon appeared, long and black and very sharp looking. The mare exclaimed to me in frustration "Damn it take the crossbow and shoot the damn thing in the head when it comes through the door"!

I looked at the crossbow and then at her and exclaimed "Are you nuts or something"? "Probably but if you don't kill it then we're both dead" she said as she began closing her eyes probably from blood loss.

I breathed heavily and asked "Why the head"? She looked up at me and replied "If you hit anything else it'll just make him really angry at you" before her head slumped against the bookshelf and she passed out.

A terrific slash was heard and suddenly a damn paw appeared through the door. I limped over to the table and leaned on it for support as the Manticore dug into the door like it was Swiss cheese, causing splinters and bits of wood to fly everywhere.

I couldn't believe I was doing this I mean I'd never killed anything before, I'd gotten into a fight in the first year of school with some kid who laughed at me for some reason but I'd never done this it was the job of the Royal Guard or something not a sales pony!

The door began to buckle as it came down to mere seconds and the shaggy mane of the Manticore appeared in the door and I raised the crossbow, standing on my back legs and holding it with my two fore hooves whilst leaning on the table for support.

The light was terrible and my aim was probably the worst anypony could ever achieve but since the target was fairly close and coming head on it gave me a smidge of hope in my churning stomach which threatened to empty its contents at any moment.

The door buckled greatly and it looked like one more hit would do it in for good. I looked through the aiming sight and focused breathing deeply in and out like they did in those action movies they showed in the theatres sometimes.

A large part of my brain told me very optimistically "you are going to die and kill the mare whilst you're at it" but another part told me "Do it for Cheerilee and this mare who saved your pathetic life, at least become food and give the other a chance to escape if you fail" which may not have entirely been good but I had no more time to think as the door flew open and the candle went out.

The Manticore reared and roared out to the storm which answered with an illuminating lightning bolt which gave me light to see my large targets wicked and red eyes.

I aimed slightly longer before firing the shot at what was originally his chest a second before remembering the head was the target to aim for or else death.

However by some stroke of luck or Celestia's blessing or more likely my bad aim the bolt shot into the Manticore's eye and went clean through his brain and skull. He looked slightly confused for a moment before his eyes rolled up into the back of his head and he collapsed dead and bleeding from the destruction of his brain.

I shuddered and dropped the crossbow, making my way over to the mare and collapsing next to her. I shivered from the cold that was flooding in and also from the death which I had just dealt this animal of nature which had we had the right circumstances we could have helped or avoided or directed somewhere else but not killed.

So few ponies died in Equestria and the majority that were killed by other ponies were accidents and usually locked away to keep the public happy but murder of any creature felt wrong to all ponykind unless they were defending themselves or it could be justified in some way although the case would have to be very strong indeed.

I looked over at the mare's wound and thought about dressing it but I had neither the skill nor any bandages which was probably because she'd used the majority on me.

Still I tore part of my suit off and used that instead before moving her onto her other side and collapsing from exhaustion both mental and physical. After all it had been a tough day and I was still injured badly.

Closing my eyes I tried not to see the look in the eyes of the Manticore as I shot him. Not one of anger…but fear.