Disclaimer I do not own CSI
You burn to be with her and you hate it , you hate the power she has over you and the power she constantly uses against you to get her own way.
You hate the jealousy you feel when you see her near other men and the lust you feel when she's close to you but you love the feeling of her skin against yours, you love the way she's pouts when you don't let her have her own way.
You love the way she's makes you feel alive but most importantly you love her.