Is it over now?
She hit his head, but surely didn't hurt him as it hurt her. It was killing her, every second of it: his pretty, brown, young eyes that knew nothing about her, about them. Those eyes that still had hope, that had never ran away from his destiny.
Those young brown eyes that loved another woman so much that he would give her the best of him - as it would never to for River, and she would never be able to accept it, but that would tore his heart apart even when he knew he was doing the right thing. River knew about it, as she knew about Donna Noble and the unbearable pain of loosing a best friend, a part of yourself. She knew about Rose and giving up the love of your lifes to "yourself" for the sake of the loved one's happiness. She knew it all.
But before that day, those had been just stories. Fantastic, amazing, touching stories, but stories all the same. She knew, but she didn't feel it. Now, for the first time, she could truly understand him, all of it. She could feel, in her skin, in her eyes, in her heart.
And it wasn't hard to choose him over herself, it would never be, but it was even easier now, for she finally new and understood every bit. Her skin told her about why Donna would have to forget it all, that the pain and the knowledge of a Time Lord was a too heavy burden for one to bare. And she wouldn't, she couldn't, she had no right to, and no life outside or after the Doctor. The very idea killer her before the mainframe would.
A very long time ago she had told Rory that she belived that the moment when she looked into his eyes and he didn't know her would kill her, and now she knew she was right. It was killing her, and it was her choice, as it would always have been.
Her eyes were full of tears, but there was no fear of death - she would embrace it like an old friend, as they were. She cried for the sadness and the pain of meeting the worst day of her life, and it seemed that not even death would heal its scars, that they'd never, ever, fade.
He looked pretty, a pretty boy, as she had called him earlier. He looked intense. He wanted to save her even when he knew nothing about her, because this is tho The Doctor is in his essence. He would bend the universe backwards for her life, so she would have a chance to live, but what kind of life could she have without him? Or how could all that be rewritten?
It wasn't worthy it. She's rather die than undo everything that was yet to come for him, long past for her. First kisses and last meetings, all jumbled in a bittersweet goodbye. She was about to close her eyes when she uttered her last words, his first words to her.
"Shh. Spoilers."
And she wouldn't have spoiled it for the world. Their song was ending for her while just beginning for him, as it was meant to be. And yet, to the music of the spheres in the universe above and around, it would never, ever end.
It was over now.
She did want to go.