Hermione Granger was not desperate to be in a relationship, thank you very much. True, it had been a while since she had been in one, but honestly, the last thing she needed was another long term anything.
Seamus Finnigan had been her last serious boyfriend. They had dated for about seven months, until he finally had his fill of her too-boring lifestyle. He was a nice guy, definitely a gentleman 'til the very end, when he ended things it was honestly the nicest break up she had ever been a part of, but that didn't stop Hermione from being upset. For whatever reason, relationships were not working out for her. And unfortunately, the common denominator in all of these relationships was her, a fact that was not all too nice to think about.
She knew she was a pain in the rear end at times. She nagged a lot, and was more likely to be seen cuddling up with a book and her cat, not a man.
The problem was, she was getting older, and all of her friends had settled down. Harry and Ginny had been married, almost immediately after the war. Harry had had far too much time being afraid to let anyone too close. He had spent too many years in a constant state of fear for his loved ones. After the war ended, many new relationships started, but Harry went up to Ginny and asked her on the spot to be his wife – and who was Ginny to deny the hero of the Wizarding World?
Ron and Lavender had both grown up a lot, and they were now married as well, Lavender was expecting to give birth to their first child within the next few weeks.
Even the untamable Charlie Weasley had caught himself a wife, a young woman named Jennifer who worked at his dragon reserve as a healer.
It seemed that everyone around Hermione was falling into relationships, and she would be an old maid, alone with her books and her cats forever.
That thought never used to bother her, books and cats for the rest of her life? It sounded completely respectable and peaceful when she was younger. While other girls were dreaming of princes, she was reading about Depressions, and terrible wars. She didn't dream of being swept off of her feet by a hero, always liking to fantasize herself as the hero saving many people who had once teased her about her hair and her teeth and her fondness of books and school, and the whole lot of them would then sing their praises and tell her how absolutely lovely she had gotten as she grew up.
Of course, those were childhood dreams, and in her life she had already fought the war, was one of the heroes, and now she wanted what her friends had.
It wasn't fun to be the fifth wheel at what once was the Golden Trio's weekly lunches. Now when they got together, Hermione would have to hear about what Harry and Ginny's godson Teddy had said the night before, or be forced into feeling Lavender and Ron's baby kick. Her friends listened patiently as she talked about her work, or her parents, but then asked the question they asked every single time.
"Hermione, when are you going to get yourself a man?" Lavender asked as they finished off their desserts and sipped tea.
"Lavender is right, Hermione. You really should get back out there! In fact I know someone that I think you would just ADORE." Ginny added.
Ginny had said that plenty of times. Somehow, though, Hermione never did "Adore!" them. She was set up with countless men, all of whom were either too full of themselves, or too rude, and even some who were too boring, even for her.
Hermione was ready to face the truth: she was going to die alone. It was a proven fact that people in relationships lived longer, fuller lives, while single people died much younger.
With that thought in her head, and a promise to floo Ginny later in regards to the latest bloke she intended to set Hermione up with, she departed the Leaky Cauldron and headed into Diagon Alley.
She was currently on a long vacation. Her work had forced her into taking two months off because her department was closing down for a while. This is normally a desired situation for most – two months of paid vacation, who wouldn't be happy? But for Hermione, it was starting off pretty slowly. And she was feeling pretty lonely.
When witches and wizards start to feel sad though, the absolute best solution was simple.
It was for that reason that Hermione headed to Weasley Wizard Wheezes. Seeking out the Weasley Twins would definitely help her mood. She could chastise them about the lack of safety in their products, and then possibly even help them reorganize the entire store.
With high hopes of reorganizing, Hermione walked eagerly into the shop, noticing it wasn't as busy as normal, what with it being September, and all of the Hogwarts kids were back at school, all of their pranks purchased earlier in the summer.
"Well, well, well. Look who it is, Georgie." Came a familiar voice, one that Hermione hadn't heard in years, but had engraved into her memory from watching game after game of quidditch.
"Lee Jordan! It's been years!" Hermione returned, beaming at the older boy and hugging him tightly.
"Oi! Lee! No hugging the pretty ladies before us, huh? How many times must we go over this?!" Fred barked, hugging Hermione next, grinning at her. George joined in on the hug, and then Lee joined in as well making it one huge group of arms and bodies.
"I can't breathe anymore." Hermione stated, squirming her way out of the tangle of boys. "How have you boys been? I can't believe how long it's been since I've come down here!" her eyes were darting around the room, mentally taking note of what she'd like to move and where to.
"Look at her, Fred! She's been here five seconds, and she's mentally redecorating!" George said with a laugh.
"I am not!"
"Don't lie, Granger, you're too pretty to lie."
Maybe she was reading too far into it, but this was definitely the second time in five minutes that Fred had made a comment regarding her being pretty.
"Only the pretty girls lie, Freddie, dear." She replied, winking at him.
"In that case, lie away, darling." Lee stated, pecking her on the cheek and prancing out of the store.
"Did he just prance?" Hermione asked in a mumble.
"He did…he's been prancing quite a bit lately…what a weird kid." George replied.
The store was now officially empty, so the three of them sat at the checkout counter and talked.
"So why aren't you at work, Granger? Finally quit your job and decide to come work for us?" Fred asked, nudging her with his elbow.
"You wish. I'm on a two months' paid vacation, because they've closed my department temporarily."
"Why the heck are you still here then? Shouldn't you be off in a bikini laying on some beach and getting all nice and tan?" George asked, winking suggestively.
"Oh yes, excuse me while I go out on vacation all alone, since everyone I know is in a happily commited relationship." Hermione retorted.
"Hey, watch your mouth." Fred barked back.
The word commitment was frowned upon in front of Fred.
"That's right! I forgot you're perpetually single as well!" Hermione said, her eyes lighting up.
"Woah! I am not perpetually single! I just have no desire to be tied down to some dim witted girl who can't even hold a conversation, and that is, apparently, the only type of girl that my dearest baby sister wants to set me up with."
"Yeah, I only get arrogant quidditch players, or people who care so boring, that even I can't pretend to be interested in their stories anymore." Hermione agreed.
Ginny, as it seemed, was not the cupid she claimed to be.
"You two should just date each other to get Ginny off of your backs." George said laughing and nudging each of them as if it were the funniest thing he had ever heard of.
Hermione's eyes grew wide.
"That's brilliant!"
"Yeah, George, what are you thinking?! Wait…what?" Fred replied, obviously preparing for Hermione to turn down the idea.
"Think about it, Fred. We go out on a couple of dates, Ginny stops setting us up with annoying people, and then we're free to find people in our own time! All we'll really have to do is act sort of couple-y whenever Ginny is around!"
Which, now that Hermione thought about it, was sort of all the time. Fred would certainly not agree to this, and Hermione's face fell at that realization.
"Okay. Sure." He said.
Well that was certainly easier than she had anticipated.
"Oh! Okay! Great! Well, how about we make this official, then, boyfriend, and we'll tell Ginny we're together at dinner tomorrow at the Burrow?"
"I have a better idea!" George said.
"What's that?" Fred said, shooting a look at his brother as if to ask him why he was still there.
"Hermione, you're on vacation. You and your boyfriend should really go enjoy it, don't you think?"
Hermione tinged pink, realizing what George was suggesting.
"You think Fred and I should go on vacation together?" she asked.
"Yes, I do. That would certainly get the point across don't you think?!"
Fred and George were both looking at her intensely, waiting for her to answer.
"Let's do it."