A/N- TWO MORE WEEKS UNTIL THE HUNGER GAMES! I'm so excited! I even have spring break that week, woo-hoo! In honor of this, I finally decided to write the third part of my hunger games parodies. This will probably be the last one for sure, but I have the feeling it'll be even longer than the other two. So let me just catch you guys up: It's been twelve years since Rose and Rue were born, meaning that Adara is 17, Orion is 15, and Katniss and Peeta are 50! So obviously I'm focusing this one on their kids. Oh, and Haymitch is like, 74, so he'll be a grumpy old man…oh wait, that's nothing new. Anyways, enjoy!

Chapter 1: Monstruating

Adara

I woke up with a start when I heard a tap on my window in the middle of the night. I sat up and looked at my alarm clock: it was exactly twelve a.m. I frowned as I heard another tap, and I realized that someone was throwing rocks at my window. I pulled the covers aside and got out of bed to see who was there as I walked towards the window and opened it. As I looked down, I gasped, and my heart skipped a beat. It was Hunter Hawthorne. Just thinking about his name made me feel dizzy.

He grinned up at me, his gray eyes shining in the moonlight, and said, "Are you going to me let me in, my dear Dara?"

I blushed; knowing that I probably shouldn't, that we could get caught, but even more ashamed about the fact that I wanted to let him in when I should be upset at him. "Hunter! What are you doing here, are you crazy?" I hissed down at him as he began to climb a nearby tree so that he could reach my two-story window. But before I could continue to protest, he slipped inside my room, his feet hitting the carpeted floor as his lips landed on mine.

I kissed him back despite myself, letting my body mold into his as his warm embrace wrapped around it. I took in his scent; he smelled like the woods, of pine needles and fresh air and leather. His lips were unbelievably soft and…wait a minute, he's in my room! I pushed him aside in alarm. "Hunter, you need to leave before someone finds out you're here," I whispered urgently.

But he wasn't listening to me. He backed me up against the wall, right beside the open window sill. "I just wanted to see you; I'm tired of hiding our relationship," he replied as he pulled me closer.

I bit my lip anxiously. Ever since the Hawthornes had moved back in town to expand their business and see their family, Hunter and I had gotten closer than ever. Perhaps even too close. I knew that although our families got along fine, my mother had never really forgiven Gale, and my father always stood by her, saying that no daughter of his would ever become a Hawthorne. But Johanna and Mom were good friends, so our families still talked to each other. "I-I don't know, Hunter, if we tell everyone we're together, it may cause some tension," I said nervously as he kissed my neck. I could barely think straight as I ran my hands through his dark hair. My mother always said that he looked too much like his father, as if his handsome features should repel me simply because he was Gale's son. But I could care less about the resemblance, not when he seduced me this way and his hands slipped under my shirt - no. I pushed him away again, impatiently. "No, Hunter, not now. We can't. You should leave. Don't make me say it again," I told him firmly, using my last ounce of self-control on him. The last thing I needed to deal with right now was sexual tension.

His gray eyes looked hurt as he winced. I suddenly felt guilty about rejecting him, but I didn't say so. "I'm sorry, Adara; I thought you wanted this as much as I did," he said, confused.

"Yes, but this isn't the right time," I argued.

"Then I'll take you somewhere else later today, or" he began, but I cut him off.

"No, not today, maybe next week, but definitely not today," I said quickly, hoping that he would understand. Except he only looked even more confused.

"Why, do you have plans this whole week?" he asked tentatively, knowing that I didn't have any more than I usually did. I could only hope that nobody could hear us arguing, if my parents found out, they would kill me. Maybe not literally, but they were perfectly capable of doing so, my mom especially. My heart sank in dread.

I hesitated as I tried to decide what to tell Hunter. I knew that I had to decide fast, because sooner or later we would get caught if we kept this up. Maybe I should just tell him the truth. "It's my time of the month," I blurted out, then instantly regretted it as he flushed. He obviously hadn't wanted to know that. I looked down, embarrassed.

"Oh, umm, well, I'll uh…I guess I'll just go then," he said awkwardly. "I'll see you later," he mumbled as he kissed me on the cheek. I said good-bye to him, and he climbed out the window and left.

Orion

I had pretty exciting dream last night about Tara Hawthorne. So exciting, in fact, that I had to get rid of it with a cold shower, but hey, at least I try. Just as I was coming out of my room to head down to breakfast, I ran into my older sister, Adara. She looked exhausted, not to mention extremely distracted. I suddenly remembered that I had heard low voices coming from her room last night, and I mentioned it to her.

"Did your boyfriend come visit you last night?" I asked teasingly. Her blue eyes widened in fear.

"How did you know?" she asked in panic.

I shrugged. "I thought I heard some voices last night," I said simply.

"How much did you hear, exactly?" she pressed. Her room was right beside mine.

I chuckled. "Well, I didn't hear the headboard banging, if that's what you're asking. And I don't know if the twins heard anything, but if they did, then our parents might have too," I said.

She scowled at me. "We haven't done anything like that, Orion; not that it's any of your business," she replied defensively.

I smirked. "No, not yet," I added knowingly, and she slapped my arm, but I simply laughed.

"Don't think I don't know about you and Tara," she hissed threateningly.

I looked at her seriously. "If you don't tell, I won't tell," I told her.

"Deal," she agreed. And with that, we headed down to breakfast.

I was starving. As soon as I took a seat at the table, I grabbed a plate and started piling up everything on it: pancakes, eggs, bacon, you name it. Today was Dad's turn to cook, and he was much better at it than Mom, although neither of us would ever say so. This was partly because it would hurt her feelings, but more likely because she would kill us, or at least punish us for being rude and ungrateful. Not to mention the fact that Dad was basically the woman in the relationship. Not that we could say that either, because, again, Mom would kill us, and Dad would probably cry. I tried not to laugh as I thought about this.

"What's so funny, son?" Dad asked me curiously as I stuffed my mouth with food and swallowed it down with milk. I shook my head in response, still trying to stifle a laugh.

"Orion, stop stuffing your mouth, you'll choke," Mom said disapprovingly.

"He's such a pig," Rose muttered, rolling her eyes. I scowled at her, and she stuck her tongue out at me. And they say I'm immature.

"Rose, don't say that about your brother, he's a growing boy, and he's just hungry," Dad said in my defense.

"Well, he has terrible manners," Rue commented as I continued to stuff my mouth, ignoring them all.

"Don't worry, Rue, if he chokes, we can all laugh at him," Adara assured her with a grin.

"That's enough, girls, leave your brother alone," Dad said. "And Orion, please chew with your mouth closed," he told me.

I did as he told me, and looked up at my annoying sisters. I noticed they were especially irritating today, and Mom looked extremely unhappy. Dad seemed to be avoiding her gaze. I'll never understand women.

Peeta

Katniss had been acting very grouchy lately, and she had been having more nightmares than ever. I had tried to help her, but she wouldn't even let me touch her anymore. And my daughters seemed to be in an awful mood too. I wondered if this was a woman thing.

"Ugh, I poured orange juice in my cereal! I can't do anything right today!" Rose whined.

"Ew, Rose, get your cereal away from me, you know I'm allergic to gluten!" Rue exclaimed. The fact that one of my daughters was allergic to gluten made me very sad, as I could never bake her anything, but I still taught her how to paint, and she seemed to enjoy that.

"Rue, don't be ridiculous, being near it isn't going to kill you; it's only if you eat it," Adara told her.

"Well, being near Rue's bacon is making me sick, since I'm a vegetarian!" Rose said as she scooted away from Rue.

"Oh, that's enough, all of you! Can't we ever just have breakfast as a family without everyone fighting?" Katniss finally snapped, and everyone instantly became quiet.

I sighed, and everyone except Orion and I got up from the table to go watch television. Katniss turned on the television and a sad romance movie began playing. All of the girls gathered up around her, and before I knew it, they all started crying. I frowned. Katniss didn't even like sappy love stories. As for the girls, it made no sense why they were all acting so sensitive today. It was then that I turned to look at the calendar, and my heart sank. I had heard rumors that women living near each other could be on the same cycle, but this was just outrageous. There were four women in my house, and they all knew how to use a bow…the weapon, that is. And anyways, wasn't Katniss too old for that? I instantly regretted having that thought, since I wasn't so young anymore either, and my hair was graying. At least Katniss still looked young and beautiful. It was then that it hit him…why Katniss was so grumpy, why all of a sudden she became so sensitive. She wasn't going through the same thing as the girls…she was going through the opposite. He gulped.

It was then that Orion that looked at him in shock. "What's wrong, Dad?" he asked.

I hesitated, "They're monstruating, son," I whispered ominously. "We better get out of here before it gets ugly."

His gray eyes widened. "You mean menstruating?" he asked.

"Sort of…except they might attack us, and your mother is going through something different, but it's just as deadly," I explained.

We turned to look at them as we got up from the table. "Let's go to the store, Orion," I said, loud enough for everyone to hear us so that they knew that we were leaving. He nodded, and off we went as we headed to the front door. We almost made it.

Katniss

"Bring us some chocolate," I said to my husband. I could really use something that would cheer me up.

"And some tea!" said Rose.

"And some pain pills," added Rue.

"Daddy, can you bring me some tampons?" Adara asked distractedly. I turned to my daughter in surprise. Peeta and Orion looked uncomfortable, and Rose and Rue started giggling.

"What?" Adara asked, looking around at us.

"Honey, I told you, virgins don't use tampons," I said patiently.

"Mom, that's not true," she scoffed.

"Dara's not a virgin!" said Rose.

"Yes, I am!" Adara fought back.

"Don't think we didn't hear you and your boyfriend last night," Rue taunted.

"Uh…I didn't hear anything," Orion said helpfully as Peeta and I gaped at our eldest child.

"Adara, is this true?" I asked her.

"And if so, why didn't you tell us that you had a boyfriend?" Peeta asked, hurt.

"Mom, I am a virgin, and the reason I didn't tell you that I was seeing someone is because I was afraid of how you would react," she explained nervously. I studied her carefully. There was something she wasn't telling me, but I didn't know what it was. I knew that she had been hiding something for a while, but I figured she would come out and tell us when she was ready. I hoped that she would tell us now.

"What are you afraid, of exactly?" Peeta asked her patiently.

"She's dating Hunter Hawthorne," Rose said mischievously.

"And Orion is dating Tara Hawthorne; that's why he's defending Adara," Rue added with relish.

We all gaped at the twins as they smiled at each other knowingly. "How did you little scoundrels know about this?" Orion demanded angrily.

"And how long have you known?" Adara asked, perplexed.

"Forget about that; what I want to know is why your father and I didn't know about this!" I yelled impatiently.

"Do the Hawthornes know about this?" Peeta demanded, looking at Adara and Orion.

They both shook their heads, "No, nobody was supposed to know! I was afraid that it would cause more tension between our families, and cause the Hawthornes to move away again!" Adara said exasperated; she looked like she was on the verge of tears.

"But we had to find out eventually!" I pointed out.

"We just didn't think about that," Orion admitted.

Peeta exhaled. "All right, that's it, you're both grounded. Tomorrow morning, you're going to help me ice cakes at the bakery…all day. And Orion, you and I are going to have a discussion about how you need to keep your bosco stick in you pants and your frosting under control."

"Dad, you're embarrassing me!" Orion blushed as his sisters cracked up. I rolled my eyes. I then turned to Adara, knowing that I would have to talk to her as well…and this was not a discussion that I was looking forward to. I only hoped Gale Hawthorne's son was better than his father.

To be continued…

A/N- Haha! Well, that's just the first chapter! I have some more crazy ideas, but I'm saving them for later chapters. I hope you guys enjoyed it, and let me know what you thought! Thanks for reading, and please review!