Hey everyone! This is my first fanfic, so enjoy! :)
Disclamer: I don't own Naruto
Warning: Angst, cutting, etc. Sad stuffs
Naruto's POV.
My alarm clock rang loudly, its sound ringing in my ears as I woke up. I groaned and rubbed my eyes, squinting my eyes to the blinding sun.
It was another day. Another day I have to go through. Another day I have to force a smile on my face and show everyone that I was all right. That nothing's hurting me. That I'm perfectly fine, and looking forward to each fake day.
But I was not.
Ever since they left me, I couldn't stand it anymore. Every single person I love, they all disappear sooner or later. They all leave me. Love is such a cruel, horrible thing.
Yet today was Valentine's day.
I sighed and got dressed, brushed my teeth and looked at the mirror. This was the me everyone never saw. The one with blank eyes and a frown on my face. That blond hair on top of my hair might look like sunshine to everyone else, but to me, it was just a faded, neglected sunflower. This was the me that no one saw. The real me. The empty me.
The world was fake. I still don't understand why I have to put up with my life. I could just run and slip on the water in this very bathroom, my head could crash onto the tiles, my skull would break and no one would care. Why do I still bother to live? That was a question I never got the answer of.
The world was fake, and so is Valentine's day.
Everyone throwing out "I love you's" when they're not even sure of their feelings. How could you love someone when you hardly know them? Why would you do anything for them when they won't do the same for you? I used to believe in love, but that was a long time ago.
I've long since given up.
Now the world's just black and white.
I put on my shoes and headed for the bus stop. It was just meters away now. The bus was already there. Okay, time to put on that goofy grin and become suddenly hyper.
My eyes widened as I just 'suddenly realised' the bus was there, and it started to leave. I yelled at the bus, cursing at it for it to stop, and started running after it.
People in the bus started laughing at me. To them I was "Uzumaki Naruto, the klutz. A class clown. A dumb ass. An obnoxious idiot. The one who always tries to please everyone. A loser.
The bus stopped, and I climbed in, panting. People patted me on the back, grinning and saying "Good job". I merely grinned and thanked them.
"YO! LOSER UZUMAKI! OVER HERE!" I inwardly winced at the nickname, while on the outside I grinned widely and walked towards the voice.
"Hey dog breath, what's up?" We did a handshake, and I turned to the shy girl sitting next to him. "Hey Hinata."
She blushed and smiled. "H-h-Hi Naruto-kun." I sensed that she had some sort of feeling toward me. I wasn't oblivious; people thought I was.
But she didn't know the real me. If she did, she would hate me, and if everyone were to ever know the real Uzumaki Naruto, I'd tell her last. She was innocent, shy and nice, and she deserved the best.
But best wasn't me.
I continued smiling that goofy grin as I sat next to the both of them, telling them fake stories of where I accidentally tripped and fell face first on the floor, or that I was late because I slept in. All lies. My life is a lie. I'm a lie.
I'm living on lies.
The grin on my face, the shine in my eyes, the so called friendliness aura that surrounds me… they were all fake.
The bus halted to a stop, and people climbed on.
"Think he'll come to school today?" Kiba asked. I grinned. "Well, let's see…"
Shikamaru came and sat next to me. "Argh. So troublesome." He sighed.
"Hey Shika. Did you sleep in again?" He glared at me.
"…You know. The usual." Then Shikamaru closed his eyes while Hinata, Kiba and I talked and joked. The oblivious dog-lover finally took notice of my arms.
"Oi, dude, what's up with your arms? What did you do this time? Chopping carrots and you accidentally cut yourself?" He snickered.
I lifted my bandaged arms and pretended to grin proudly. "Oh yeah. I was cutting, and just closing my eyes to see how good I was, and wham! I cut myself … and no, I didn't cry… and they look pretty cool! Wanna see?" Kiba's face twisted in disgust.
"No man, no." My smile faltered and I forced a pout.
"N-N-Naruto-kun, are you okay?" Hinata asked timidly. I smiled again.
"I'm alright, really, Hinata." But behind that smile, I knew I wasn't. Those cuts, to bear all the pain, I couldn't help it. I had to ease that agony, so instead, I focused on the pain that I inflicted upon myself; my arms. It was still throbbing, from when I cut it yesterday.
"Hmph. You're so troublesome, going around and cutting yourself." I flinched when I heard the words cutting yourself and turned around, plastering another smile on my face.
"Aw. Tut tut, Shika. You're too troubled to cook, neh?" Shikamaru had his eyes open and was looking at me, scrutinizing my face, as if he was memorising me, trying to read my emotions. After a while, he sighed and closed his eyes.
"Che. Whatever." He said.
The bus stopped, and we all got out, much to Shikamaru's annoyance.
I looked around. Quite a lot of people held box of chocolates, or roses, or teddy bears. The sight was disgusting. When are these people going to wake up and realise that love didn't exist?
Kiba and Shikamaru started walking. I was about to follow them, but Hinata held me back.
"U-Uhm … N-Naruto-kun…" She stuttered as she went through her bag, blush covering her cheeks. I already knew what was coming. I didn't want it. I didn't know how to accept it.
Somebody please stop her!
The bell rang. Thank god.
"Oh, sorry, Hinata. I gotta go, I don't want to be late for Orochimaru's class! Heh … I hope you understand, bye!" Without hearing her reply, I was off, sighing in relief.
I didn't want love because I know no one loved me.
In class, Orochimaru gave us work to do. I was pretending to do it while Shikamaru was dozing off. I rolled my eyes. Orochimaru was staring at Sasuke again.
Oh, and Sasuke's the most popular guy in our school, whom every girl swoons over and every guy admires. Everyone wanted to be him or wanted to be involved with him. He was perfect to everyone.
But to me, he looked lonely.
Behind all that arrogance and unapproachable aura, he wanted someone to approach him, not for his looks or his money.
In a way, he was similar to me. Everyone envied him, though. They all wanted to be like him. Everyone looked up to him.
But I pitied him.
In a long time ago, I guessed I would've approached him. Approached him with a real smile, real exuberance in my eyes, but now, I've given up trying to make new friends.
Because in the end, the people you love and the people you grew to love leave you.
And that was why I never tried to get close to any of my friends.
And I hated Sasuke.
I hate how he stimulates my real emotions. He makes me angry, frustrated, he made me show the real me. I hate how, because we were similar in so many ways, his presence would affect me. I pitied him.
Meaning I pity me.
I looked around and caught him staring at me, and I glared back. He smirked. A vein popped on my forehead. His smirk became wider. My frown became deeper. Something hit me on the head, and I realised that the bastard had threw a rubber at me.
Something in me snapped.
I got up from my chair, and prepared to stomp towards that bastard, attempting to bash that smug smirk right off his face.
"UZUMAKI NARUTO! SIT DOWN, NOW!" My attention turned to the teacher, and my attitude changed. An almost automatic grin came upon my face, my arm automatically lifting to scratch the back of my head.
"Sorry, sensei…" I sat back down.
"Troublesome." Shikamaru sighed next to me.
I was unaware of the smirk I wanted to wipe off a particular face earlier was replaced by a scowl, directed at the teacher.
Neither did I know that the person sitting next to me had noticed.
Normal POV
Naruto paced around, holding his books. Where is Shikamaru? Class is gonna start! He couldn't stand being in Music alone. He hated music. Music was the reason …
He shook off his thoughts, urging the tears to stop flowing.
"Oi, Naruto! Why're you still there?" As soon as he heard a voice, the automatic fake grin was on his face.
"Oh hey, Kiba. I'm just waiting for Shikamaru … we have music." He shifted nervously. The dog lover tilted his head.
"Eh? Didn't you know that the lazy ass had a student council meeting? Temari had to practically drag him to the meeting!" He went to his locker and got his books. Naruto's heart quickened as he became more nervous. He didn't want to go to Music alone. He watched his friend closing his locker.
"Besides, what's so bad about Music anyway? Don't be such a coward Naruto." Kiba teased and flashed a toothy grin before walking off.
The blond knew that the brunet was only joking, but he flinched when he heard those words. "don't be such a coward, Naruto."
He bit his lip while watching his friend walk off, trying to suppress a yell and some rude words from coming out of his lips.
You don't understand, Kiba you jerk, you don't! His heart lurched painfully as he remembered those memories. It was coming back. He didn't want it to come back.
"Naruto, honey, I'm going to go now." That smile on her face as she waved the little blond goodbye.
"I'm going to join your daddy." He was too young to understand those words. She had walked off, down the empty street, her red hair almost alive around her. He hadn't believed his eyes then. He was the only one who saw. There was red hot fire at the end of that road, and she was walking right into it. He yelled out, screamed for her to stop, but it was as if she was deaf, as if he didn't exist.
His mother had walked right into the fire, and then she had disappeared. She was red hot fire, as her fans had called her. And his father was the yellow sun.
Of course, no one knew him now, because they had kept his birth a secret, meaning he wasn't supposed to be born. It was a shame.
He wasn't supposed to exist.
Then the very next day, the police had a found a body. The body was in bad shape, so no one could recognise who it was, but they already knew, because the red hair had said it all.
And it was then, that Naruto regretted loving his parents, and learned that Love never really did exist after all.
"Love is everything, you can't live without love …. Without love, you're nothing, what is this life without love … ?" Those lyrics of the debut single his parents' band had played. Those were his mother's last words before she died.
He would never forget it.
The words ringing in his head, the sickening tune, and the horrible memories.
It was all coming back.
He clutched his head and sunk to the floor, gasping, heart lurching. His knees were too weak, and he was shaking.
"Dear, Mummy's gonna go now…"
"No … No …" He panted and his grip on his head tightened.
The smile on her face. It was fake yet real. It was distant. Even the young Naruto then could tell.
"No … please, please no …" Tears came out of his eyes as he shuddered on the cold floor.
The screams could be heard as a yellow and red head came upon the stage. They were the most popular in the band Torrid out of all the 5 band members. They were all cheering. Cheering for Torrid, especially for Kushina and Minato, the supposedly cutest couple. Most people supported them …
Most.
A person in a hoodie, face mostly covered, held a dagger as he pushed past them. It was as if Naruto knew what was going to happen, though he was still young. Still 8. The person was heading toward the front, toward the stage. He'd tried to go after him, but he was held back by the crowd. The crowd who didn't know he existed.
He had screamed, along with Torrid's fans. He had screamed for them to stop playing, to run, run away from that crazy man. But everyone else's voices overwhelmed his own.
Before he knew it, the guy in a black hooded jumper had come on stage. Before he knew it, the guy in a black hooded jumper had stabbed his very own father, through the heart. Before he knew it, Minato's fans had screamed, this time, out of horror.
He could hear screams as some tried to get away, others tried to stay. The guy with a black hooded jumper stayed where he was, as if he wanted to get caught. Naruto had ran forward to help his dying father, to see the last of him, but too many people were blocking his way.
It all went so fast, Naruto couldn't grasp what was going on. The ambulance came. The police came. The man was arrested.
He had noticed these things no one else had. He had watched people's expressions while everyone else was too busy. The fans were terrified. His father was pale. Iruka was trying to calm people down. Kakashi was too. Sakura was holding Naruto's hand tightly, tears coming out of her eyes. His mother was shocked and sobbing. Two of Torrid's band members were horrified. And the other one?
He was smiling.
"… No … no.. not again …" He shut his eyes tightly as he whispered to himself. The pain in his heart wouldn't stop. He knew he was going to have nightmares again.
He writhed on the floor, gasping as images of his horrible past life came flooding back in flashes.
Sakura was just passing by, grumbling about Student council and how she was late, until her eyes caught something.
It was Naruto.
And he was like that again.
Horrified, she ran over and wrapped her arms around the blond. He thrashed and kicked, but she wouldn't let go.
"Naruto. Naruto. Shh … it's okay, it's okay, Naruto." She was one of the few who knew of Naruto's past. After all, she was there.
After a while, he stopped, and was gripping Sakura's arms tightly, sobbing. While she had her arms around the blond, she was thinking.
Naruto … he's so weak after that. He … he needs someone to help him, to help him get through all that sadness and grief … Poor Naruto… Sakura felt as if it was her duty to protect Naruto, and be strong for him. He was like a little brother to her.
A while later, the sobs died down.
"Are you okay now?" Naruto pushed her away and plastered on a smile.
"I'm alright now, Sakura."
"Are you sure?" Her eyebrows creased in worry.
"Yes!" He grinned. His arms were around his chest protectively. Her eyes widened as she caught something.
"Naruto, you're bandag-"
"Um .. I gotta go, catch ya later!" And then he was off.
She shrugged. She guessed comforting her friend wasn't necessary after all.
She headed to the Student Council meeting room.
Maybe speaking to Shikamaru and Sasuke would change things.
Yes, it was like they were the 'S' gang.
Shikamaru sighed. This was too troublesome for him. He couldn't believe that he had actually obeyed Temari, his girlfriend.
Why did he even have a girlfriend anyway?
It was all too troublesome.
He sighed again.
"Can you stop sighing, please?" He turned to see the popular Uchiha, whose eyebrow was twitching. He was irritated. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.
"What if I don't?" The sex on legs' vein popped, and it was his turn to sigh.
It seems the Uchiha was in his thoughts. As if he was deciding whether to do something or not. He looked frustrated. The teacher was rambling on, but they weren't listening. Not like the teacher would notice anyway.
"Shikamaru-san …"
"Yeah?"
"Have you … has …" Sasuke looked hesitant. Shikamaru sighed. He already knew what was coming.
"Just tell me already. This is too troublesome." Sasuke's eyebrow twitched. Asshole. Sasuke thought.
"Since Naruto is your friend … by any chance … do you know who he likes?" Shikamaru inwardly smirked.
"And you want to know because …?" Sasuke's eyebrow was twitching again. This Shikamaru guy was pissing him off.
"I-I-I…" Sasuke sputtered, but thank god he was interrupted by the door opening.
The pink haired girl bowed and apologised before taking a seat in front of Shikamaru.
"Hey Shika! Hey Sasuke-kun!" She beamed at both of them. "What's up?"
"Ice prince there wanted to ask me if Naruto liked anyone or not." Shikamaru smirked.
"W-W-Well, I-I'm curious, okay?" Sasuke told them defensively, and Sakura laughed. Silence befell them after a while.
"So does he?" Sasuke muttered. Sakura had to suppress another laugh and Shikamaru had to hold down a smirk.
"No, he doesn't, Sasuk-"
"Actually, we don't know, why don't you ask him?" Sakura interrupted Shikamaru. This was a great time to do this; after all, Naruto needed someone to love.
"Troublesome…" Shikamaru sighed. Sasuke grunted and turned away.
"Oh, Shikamaru… remember that today is Valentine's day?" the pink haired girl said. Shikamaru rolled his eyes.
"Well, I heard that someone is going to confess to Naruto today. Someone pretty." Sakura said, eyes staring hard at the lazy boy. Shikamaru raised his eyebrow. Everyone knew who was going to confess to Naruto. Everyone but Naruto himself. Why is Sakura talking about this? He looked sideways without turning his head and understood. Sasuke practically looked like a dog with its ears perked up. Listening intently.
"And when she confesses, Naruto will most likely accept and go out with her. She'll be his very first lover. How special, right, Shikamaru?" he grunted in response.
"And he'll most likely fall in love with her and then they will marry and live happily ever after. " Her eyes darted to Sasuke, whose fists were clenched.
"She'll break down his walls and she'll always be by his side. How romantic, she'll be the first one! And unless someone else confesses first, he'll gladly go out with her, since he's such a kind hearted person." She heard Sasuke snort softly, as if disagreeing with her last statement.
"I heard she's going to confess alone with him after school, and she's going to ask him to meet her in the hallways after school at lunchtime … she's so brave. Whoever doesn't confess is a coward, neh Shi-" Sakura was interrupted when Sasuke suddenly brought his fist down on his table. She flinched and, when Sasuke's face was turned away, she smiled.
"So Sakura … why were you late?" The raven haired muttered. The expression on Sakura's face suddenly darkened. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at this. It seemed Sasuke didn't notice because his head was turned away.
"Oh … n-nothing, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura gave him a smile. Said boy grunted in response.
When the pink haired girl was sure the most popular guy wasn't looking, or wasn't interested in listening, she leaned towards Shikamaru's desk.
"Naruto… was at it again …" She whispered. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. Shikamaru had been another of the few who knew of Naruto's situation. Of course, it used to be Iruka, Kakashi and Sakura, but Shikamaru was too smart to be tricked, so Sakura had no choice but to tell him. Kiba and Hinata, though, were too oblivious to realise these things.
"It's been … a few months … I thought he had overcome that …" She continued, her voice breaking off as if she was about to cry.
"And did you see those bandages on his arms? Well, when I was comforting him … it half fell … and there were scars, Shikamaru …" She put her face in her hands.
"I heard that he cut himself accidentally with a knife, Sakura." Of course Shikamaru knew that Naruto had lied.
"But … Shikamaru … they look… self-inflicted. And … and I couldn't do anything to stop him…" Before she could say any more, the bell rang, and everyone got up to leave.
"I'll tell you this later…" Sakura whispered and she gave a halfhearted wave to Sasuke before walking off. Shikamau sighed.
"Oi, Shikamaru!" Temari yelled, and came over to greet her boyfriend. "You know what day it is today, right? Have you got anything for me? Did you even remember what day today was?" He sighed again.
This was all too troublesome.
Sasuke growled, frustrated. He had heard every single thing Sakura had said, but he didn't understand what she meant.
He wasn't eavesdropping, his ears just had to be too damn good.
What did they mean by that? What had Naruto overcome? What is happening with Naruto?
He clenched his fists as the bell rang.
"I'll tell you this later …" Sakura whispered to Shikamaru. Well, if he wanted to know what was going on, he needed to listen.
He almost slapped himself when he saw a horde of girls coming his way. He watched as Shikamaru and Sakura started off the other end of the hallway after a confrontation with Shikamaru's girlfriend. Oh well. Guess he would have to 'follow' them.
But oh, fan girls were so damn annoying.
He closed the tap, water dripping from his blond locks and scarred cheeks, panting. His hands gripped the controls tightly as he turned off the water. His eyes dazed but in pain.
"Naruto, you're bandag-"
"Um .. I gotta go, catch ya later!" And then he was off. He didn't want to hear anything more that Sakura had to say.
He ran to the school toilets. The images were still vivid in his mind. Maybe if he splashed himself with some water those horrible memories would fade away.
He turned on the tap on cold water to full power and started splashing his face with his hands. But it wouldn't go away. That dagger. That stab. That smile.
He couldn't stand it anymore.
Ripping off his bandages, he started scratching the fresh wound on his arm. He gasped in pain and crouched down, arm gripping the table, fresh blood dripping out of his wound.
Tears came out of his eyes and he bit his lip. It hurt, but not as much as those memories. He tried to focus on his arm, but those memories haven't faded.
Yet.
He looked around to find anything that could deepen his wound, but there was nothing. He started banging his arm harshly against the mirror. He would smash the mirror if he wanted to, but he didn't want to cause any trouble.
He yelped in pain after a while and clutched his bloodied arm. The wound had opened fully now and it hurt like hell.
He gritted his teeth to keep from yelling in pain. He needed to wash the blood away so no one would see. He began putting his red arm under the neglected tap, letting the blood, and memories, wash away.
The bell rang. Naruto's eyes widened. Soon everybody would need to take a pee. He quickly wrapped his arm with the dirtied bandage and pushed his sleeves down. Making sure everything was fine and not suspicious, he hurried out, his good arm clutching his hurt one, forgetting one important thing. There was only one thing that mattered.
He needed to get out of here.
Sasuke grunted in frustration. He couldn't hear anything Sakura or Shikamaru were talking about.
He was getting irritated. And he needed to go to the toilet.
Pushing those girls away, he headed off to the toilet. Luckily the bell in the student council room was earlier than the one around the rest of the school. He sighed in relief when the bell rang now.
He was about to open the door, when the door opened on its own, with a flustered blond coming out. Sasuke's heart quickened as he realised who it was.
The blond pushed past him, eyes frightened and arms close to his chest protectively. Sasuke raised an eyebrow as he watched Naruto hurry down the hallway. It seemed the blond didn't notice who he was.
Shrugging, he opened the door and walked in, looking around to see if anyone else was here.
Nope, only Naruto.
He headed to the sink and washed his hands, looking up at the mirror.
His eyes caught something.
He stared, horrified at the mirror stained with blood. Sasuke opened the door and walked in, looking around to see if anyone else was here.
Nope, only Naruto.
If the blond had been the only one who had been here throughout class time …
What had he been doing when everybody else was studying?
Naruto's POV
I ran to the lockers, sprinting as fast as my legs could carry me. I saw Shikamaru, Kiba and Hinata, and stopped.
Okay, focus. I wiped my eyes with my sleeves and found out that one of them was stained with blood. I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed. Please don't let them see it, especially Shikamaru …
Putting on a smile, I walked toward them, trying to hide myself as much as I could before I put my school jumper on, but in the end they did see me.
"Hey, Naruto!" Kiba grinned and walked towards me, followed by Hinata and the reluctant Shikamaru.
"Oh … H-Hey." I tried to hide my stutter with a grin as I opened my locker. Hinata's eyes widened. I thought mentally. Please don't let her see.. please do-
"N—N-Naruto kun, a-are you a-alright?" She asked, pointing to my arm. I smiled nervously and put it behind my back, but Kiba saw it and grabbed my arm. It took everything to stop me from wincing.
"Naruto man, what happened to ya?" He asked, eyes widened and horrified. Suddenly my mind worked.
"Oh … That was red paint. I had art, remember? After music …" I pried his arm off and showed it to him. "Looks pretty realistic, neh?" Kiba slapped himself and grinned back.
"Yeah … now you made me look like an idiot." He growled and playfully tried to strangle me.
A few moments later, after the dog lover had calmed down, I opened my locker and took my jumper out.
"Oi … Naruto … there's a piece of paper that came out when you opened your locker…" He bent down and picked it up. My mind caught up with the situation and I snatched it out of his hand before he could read it.
When I finished putting on my jumper, I unfolded the note.
Meet me under the school huts after school.
And that was it. No name, no reason … nothing else.
I flipped over the note a couple of times and there was nothing else there. Frustrated, I stuffed it in my pocket.
"N-N-Naruto-kun… a-are you a-alright?" Hinata asked nervously. I grinned.
"I'm fine, Hinata! Let's go, guys!" We started walking to the cafeteria.
Whatever that person who wrote the note wanted, I wasn't going to give it to them.
I wasn't going to meet them anywhere.
I guess they'll be pretty disappointed.
The bell rang, and I sighed in relief.
Finally, the school day was over. The entire 2 periods in class, I had to do everything I could to stop the blurry vision I had. My arm was throbbing so badly. When I got home, no one would see me like this. I walked, almost cheerfully, to my locker, hands in my pockets. I felt something and pulled it out. It was that note! I could go now, but I really didn't want to.
Putting it back in my pocket, I whistled and opened my locker. Just as I was about to go, Hinata greeted me.
"U-U-Um … N-Naruto-kun … will you …u-um … m-meet me h-here a-after everyone's g-gone?" I knew what was coming, and I really, really didn't want it. Pasting a smile on my face, I acted as if I was rushed. Suddenly, I thought of a good idea.
"Sorry! I-I'm supposed to meet this person under the school huts. It might be really important! Maybe next time, ya know? Bye!" I waved to her the piece of paper and started running.
After I was sure she wouldn't come after me, I slowed down, panting, clutching my arm. My jumper was pretty wet now, probably from all the running. I could see the school hut hidden among the trees, and sighed.
Since I was already here, might as well …
I walked dizzily to the hut and sat down on one of the benches, clutching one of the poles. Now that I think of it, this place was pretty peaceful, no one to bother me.
My eyes widened when I realised something. What if this person was a stalker? What if he was a pedophile? What if he was a serial killer? What if he was a kidnapper that wanted to –
"Dobe." Before I could think of anything else, a voice interrupted me, and I know that voice … very well.
Almost automatically a vein popped on my forehead, and I turned around angrily. There he was, the 'hottest' guy in the entire school, probably the entire world, as his fans would call it, but he was just a bastard.
"Whaddya want, teme?" I growled. "I'm here to meet someone, dammit, don't come and interrupt!" He smirked.
"Well, I have every right to be here since I'm the person you're meeting." The vein was becoming pretty swollen on my forehead. Actually, I preferred a pedophile, or a stalker… anyone but him!
"W-W-Whaddya want with me?" I angrily stood up, and almost immediately the world swirled around me, and I clutched my head. "This was a waste of time, I'm going." I started walking away, but a hand caught my arm, causing me to wince slightly.
"Wait… You need to hear me out." He wouldn't let go of me! I felt dizzy, and I wouldn't be able to walk home in this condition. I sighed.
"…fine." I shook off his arm a little too harshly, his white shirt accidentally brushed my jumper, blinding pain shot up my arm as punishment. I sat back down. "What is it?"
He looked at me, eyes fierce and determined, also quite confident. "Arrogant bastard…" I muttered to myself.
"It's Valentine's Day and …" He began. He probably wanted to use me to get him away from his fangirls. Act as a bodyguard or something. Stupid bastard. "and since it's my last year here…I was hoping I could confess my feelings for someone …" I raised an eyebrow. What? This guy had feelings? He wanted me to help him and his girl get together? He could get her with his looks, dammit! What caught my eye was his cheeks were slightly red from embarrassment; what a priceless look! I inwardly smirked. Go on ….
"Who is this person, teme?" It took all my muscle to suppress myself from laughing at him when his pale cheeks reddened even more. I haven't been this truly amused in a long time… when was the last time I actually laughed sincerely and happily?
"That person is …" The bastard's voice caught me. I was going off track again. "That person's name is Uzumaki Naruto." My eyes widened. What did I hear? He took hold of my shoulders; face so close, yet so far away from mine, shaking me gently, waking me up from my dazed senses. His gaze unwavering, eyes full of confidence and hesitation at the same time. I felt like those obsidian orbs had looked right in me, right in my soul, where everyone else hasn't bothered to look.
"…I'm in love with you, dobe."
Sasuke's POV
I didn't expect him to be there, but I went to check anyway.
And wow, God was on my side today.
His back was facing me as he admired his surroundings. I guess he's never really noticed this part of the school before, while I come here to get away from those annoying girls. His backside was hunched, hand clutching arm; that was a pose I recognised.
He was lonely.
Every single day, as I watched him with his friends, he would laugh and tell jokes, smile and comfort people, yet it seemed no one payed attention to his eyes. It screamed loneliness. His friends were too idiotic to realise. His eyes … so beautiful and entrancing, yet so pained and tormented. When he thought no one was looking, he would make that face. That face of an artwork. Beautiful and mesmerizing yet sad. The type of artwork people would pay millions for.
People thought him to be the open type, the person who would trust anyone, the one who opened up to people, the type with no secrets, but I could see, his eyes held countless secrets that he never told. The smile he gave everyone was fake. He was so uptight, and closed off to the world.
I want to be the one to change that. I want to be the one who will see his real smile.
And I will.
"Dobe." It made him flinch. He turned around, expression furious.
"Whaddya want, teme?" He grounded out. "I'm here to meet someone, dammit, don't come and interrupt!" What he said made me smirk. He should've figure out already.
"I have every right to be here since I'm the person you're meeting." His eyes narrowed as he glared at me, those eyes full of such hatred. I winced slightly.
"W-W-Whaddya want with me?" He stood up abruptly, eyes blinking out for a second, then he clutched his head. It took almost all my energy to not hold him and ask him if he was alright. "This was a waste of time anyway, I'm going." He started walking, steps unsteady, away from me. I couldn't let my chance escape. No way. I held his arm. His jumper was wet but I ignored that. There were more important things.
"Wait … You need to hear me out." I told him desperately. He seemed hesitant, then sighed.
"Fine." He shook off my arm and his wet jumper brushed against my white shirt and sat down. "What is it?" He asked.
I looked at him, hoping my eyes looked more confident than how I feel. "It's Valentine's Day and …and it's my last year here … so I was hoping I could confess my feelings for someone …" He raised an eyebrow, causing me to reluctantly blush.
"Who is this person, teme?" He asked me, making me blush even more and I looked away slightly. I took a deep breath.
Here it goes.
"That person is …" Feeling sudden energy well up inside me, I look at him in the eyes. "That person's name is Uzumaki Naruto." I saw his eyes widen. My confession wasn't enough for a clueless idiot like him. I grabbed his shoulders and leaned in. I needed to confess. Finally I could feel confidence as I scrutinized him, looked into his bottomless cerulean eyes, hoping I could find his soul among the deep, blue ocean.
"I'm in love with you, dobe."
Naruto POV
I blinked at him a few times, then blushed bright red. I've never wanted to hear these words. Words that flew easily from people's mouths yet weren't true. In that case I guess Sasuke hardly says it, but does he mean it?
Hearing those words would only be my downfall.
Heart thudding, I pushed him away with my good arm. "Wh-What do you know about love?" I shouted as I stood up, eyes still glued to the ground. "I should've known." I started walking away, but he whirled me around and caught hold of my shoulders again.
"Listen. Don't think I've never seen your expressions when you think no one is looking. Well, dobe, I'm looking. I always were." Those words made me look into his eyes. He knew. Anger welled up in me as I willed myself not to punch him in the face. Looking up at him disgusted me, so I cast my eyes down.
"So you knew, the whole time." A quiet laugh escaped my lips. I could tell from his movements that he was horrified. "And this is how you wanted to prank me? Using love? If you'd known, I rather you tell the whole school than … than use those words against me." I pushed him away harshly and growled, ignoring the pain that shot up my arm. I glared up at him, clutching my arm.
"If you've known what I've been through, and you had a heart, you wouldn't use those words against me! Why, Sasuke? What have I ever done to you?" Tears blurred my vision. It didn't matter now; he'd already seen me.
"I…" He began, but I was sick of it.
"Stop. I don't want to hear what you have to say. You could go and lit up my house in fire. You could go and humiliate me in front of the whole school, but this? Why did you use this to prank me if you've seen the pain in my eyes?" Through the tears, I could see he was getting angry.
"You think this is a fucking prank?" He took hold of me and wrapped his arms around me tightly, shocking me. I looked up to read his expression. His elegant eyebrows scrunched up, eyes filled with pain. Why did he look so pained?
"I've been watching you, Naruto, for 8 years. Eight years, dobe. I fell in love with you the first time our eyes met! While others have watched you laugh and smile, fake or not, they haven't noticed your pain like I did! And I want to be the one to cure it. I want to be the one to heal you. Won't you give me a chance?" He looked at me desperately.
"I… How do I know that you won't leave me? …" Like they did. I asked him quietly, eyes cast down.
"I won't. I promise. I'll never ever leave you." This was the Sasuke I've never seen before. When did he become so … emotional?
"How do I know you … you … really … love me? Maybe you're just in love with the idea of being in love…"
"Haven't you seen the way I act around you? I ignore everyone else, yet I do my best to approach you!" Not the way I expected, though. "Why don't you believe me? Why do-"
"How am I sure that you won't leave me? How can I be sure that you really love me?" Tears started coming out of my eyes again and I pushed him away gently. Doing this, shouting at him, was exhausting me. My head throbbed as I tried to keep track. "Love never lasts! Love doesn't exist, people are just in an illusion. People leave you in the end! People I cared a lot about, they left me! So how can I be sure that –" He pulled me into a hug again.
"I'll prove it to you." He whispered next to my ear. "I'll prove my love to you. Just one date with me, please?" I was exhausted. Fatigue crept over me. I couldn't fight anymore, and I knew Sasuke was a stubborn one.
"Okay…" I sighed. "But only one date. And if it wasn't enough … never talk to me again…" His hold on me tightened.
"Thank you, dobe …" He whispered softly.
"…and never call me dobe again." He pulled away.
"Can we start this date off by me walking you home?" Sasuke asked as I took hold of one of the poles to stop me from falling.
"W-What? Don't you have a limo or something?" I snorted.
"Well, this is my first time and … and I wanted to spend my first time with you …" I sighed again.
"Alright." He came close to me, fingertips brushing mine. I sighed again. "What now?"
"Lovers do hold hands, you know." He smirked. Out of the haziness, I snapped. "We AREN'T lovers, teme!" But he linked his fingers through mine anyway. I sighed, too tired to fight.
We started walking, me leading him. I really didn't want to go home, though. Everywhere I go, I bring darkness with me. I have to be sure to reject Sasuke no matter what. Because either way, I'll be hurt or he will.
I would've bumped into a pole if not for Sasuke pulling me the other way. Dazed, I growled at him.
"Stop pulling me!"
"You nearly hit a pole, dobe! Are you alright?" Why are there multiple Sasukes I see? I clutched my head, his words swirled around my head.
"No… I don't like buses!" I replied, and I couldn't take it anymore. Unconsciousness took over me as I closed my eyes and fell forward, the sound of my throbbing arm was repeated over and over again in my head.