"Marky, you would be such a sexy drag queen," Angel said spontaneously. Mark sputtered on his coffee. Roger laughed uproariously.

"What?"

"I said you would make a sexy drag queen! I mean, look at you! You're so… pretty!" Angel pursed her lips and began her scrutiny of Mark. "It's the eyes. The eyes do it. They're very gorgeous."

"Hem. Honey, remember whose girlfriend you are," Collins said, with a strange look.

"Oh, baby, don't worry about me going for Marky. I love you, remember? Besides, Mark doesn't swing that way."

"Or does he?" Roger asked slyly

"Mark, you're not gay are you? Oh, my God! I am so cool! I've dated straight guys, bi-sexuals, lesbians, and a gay guy! Uh-huh! Go me!" Maureen chanted and began a little victory dance.

"I am not gay!" he protested.

"Its okay if you are, Mark. We don't have a problem with Collins and Angel, why would we have a problem with you?" Mimi said kindly.

"But I'm not gay!"

"Welcome to the club," Joanne said with a laugh.

"Come on, lay off. He's not gay. And I should know! I've got a gay-dar stronger than anything the Marines have got! And Mark's not gay," Angel laughed, rescuing Mark.

"Thank you!"

X

What he was doing in Mimi's apartment with a dress on was beyond him. His eyes traveled up and down in the floor-length mirror. He was kind of pretty. If he got himself some mascara, a nice wig, he could totally hang out with Angel and not feel self-conscious! But this dress was doing nothing for his hips! They looked huge! He searched for another one, not so form-fitting through the closet. He didn't have much selection. Mostly her stripper "outfits". And God knew he didn't have the figure for that! His perusal was interrupted by a loud crash.

"Mark. What. The. Hell. Are. You. Doing."

"Oh… uh, hi, Rog," he said, voice squeaking in embarrassment. "Whatcha been up to?"

"Mark, are you gay?"

"NO! Angel said I would be a sexy drag queen, and I haven't been called sexy in a really long time, and I thought it would boost my self-esteem, and yeah…" he said trailing off. Roger's eyebrows raised. "Let's just forget this ever happened."

"Yeah. Good plan."

X

a/n: SPONTENAIETY! I'd just like to say here and now, MARKY IS NOT GAY! I just wanted to put him in drag. Oh, and I promise I'll stop with stupid, lame, one-shots and make a real story soon. Well, as soon as I can. School still blows. Oh, and my disclaimer is right here! I OWN NOTHING. I just wanted to get straight to the hilarity.