This story was born of the idea that it was HIGHLY unrealistic that Bella and Edward's relationship could ever go from only kissing to sex, with no transition, without killing her. Plus, it was really boring lol! So I decided to spice things up a little bit! And then a 'practice fic' turned into a full blown story with it's own diabolical plotline and everything. This story was originally posted on Twilighted but I have been fighting the urge to post here as well, so I finally gave in! I have set up a forum for those with questions, or just flick me through a review if the spirit moves you. I hope you enjoy the journey!

SM own's all. I just play.

Bella's POV

As I pulled my truck into the drive, I immediately noticed the lack of the police cruiser. Charlie must still be over at Billy's. I looked out the window at the dimming sky and frowned slightly. There was still too much sunlight for Edward to chance a visit just yet. I sighed as I climbed out of my truck and trudged up the steps into the empty house.

Oh well, at least I can have a long shower without having to worry about holding up the bathroom for too long.

I clumped up the stairs, pulling my shirt off as I went. I knew it wasn't likely that I had sweated too much while I was working at Newton's shop, but my clothes always smelled a bit funky whenever I came home from there. Like nylon and leather, but not in a pleasant way. I wrinkled my nose as I discarded the shirt in the corner of my bedroom. As I grabbed my toiletry bag off my nightstand something in the middle of my bed caught my eye. It was a package, wrapped in ordinary brown paper, with a small handwritten note attached. I opened the note and smiled.

Dearest sister-to-be,

I foresaw that this might bring you some entertainment, as well as some much needed inspiration. Enjoy!

Love,

Alice

I quickly tore open the wrapping and gasped as I found myself staring at a half naked man passionately embracing some damsel in distress. It was entitled "For His Love", by an author I was unfamiliar with. I snickered and shook my head as I turned it over to read the synopsis on the back. I only got two or three lines in when I figured out what may have led Alice to believe I would be interested in this particular story. The man on the cover was a tortured musician who constantly fought his lust for the woman he loved, as she threw herself at him at every turn. Oh yeah, and his name was Edward. I snorted and threw the book back onto my bed. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why Alice would give me some trashy romance novel. I never had gotten into books like that, even though Renee had them scattered all over the house while I was growing up. I preferred the classics over everything else, but I was desperately in need of some new reading material.

Oh, just give it a shot. When has the little pixie ever steered you wrong?

I giggled again as I finished undressing and padded off to the shower. The hot water helped relax away the tension I always felt whenever I was left alone for too long. Today had been one of those miserable sunny days that Forks sees so infrequently. The only blessing had been the blissful reprieve I had been given from wedding planning. Alice may be my best friend and soul sister at heart, but she was driving me up the wall with all the minute details she insistently focused on. I sighed heavily as the water cascaded through my hair and down my back. No such luck tomorrow. The forecast called for rain for the rest of the week. At least I would get to see Edward.

I felt my face break into a smile and butterflies assault my stomach, a reaction I often had whenever I thought of my beautiful angel-man. I closed my eyes and pictured his face smiling at me, his hands gently stroking my cheek, his lips pressed softly to my own. As my fantasy started to turn less innocent I felt a heat start burning in my lower belly.

He kissed me harder, more passionately than usual. His fingertips grazed down my shoulders and lightly traced my collarbones. I wound my fingers in his hair, securing his lips to mine as I kissed him back fiercely. His hands continued tracing slowly down the sides of my breasts and over my ribs where they came to rest on my hips. He grasped me firmly then, lifting me up off the ground so I could wrap my legs around his waist and press my body into his…

"Gah!" I jumped as the water from the shower suddenly became unbearably cold, pelting my skin with ice-like shards of water. I nearly tripped on my way out of the shower and had to grab hold of the towel rail to keep from doing a nose dive on the bathroom floor.

"You are so graceful, Bella," I chided myself as I wrapped one towel around my hair and another around my chilled body. So much for the relaxing effects of the shower. Between the onslaught of freezing water and my overactive imagination I was breathless and slightly wired.

I scurried back into my room and rifled through my drawers to find my comfy sweats and a fitted tank. When I pulled my top drawer open I frowned slightly. It hadn't really mattered to me that I owned no matching sets of under ware before, but now that Edward and I were getting married, and we were going to try…

Hmmm, maybe it's time for a little shopping trip with Alice.

As soon as the thought flitted through my brain my new cell phone start ringing. Edward and Alice had both insisted on the infernal contraption, both stating how important it was to be able to get a hold of me without going through other channels (a.k.a. Charlie or work). For Edward, I knew it gave him comfort to have that constant means of connection to me, and in all honesty I shared that comfort. But for Alice, I knew it was just another way to keep me close for more wedding related things that I was sure could wait and she was sure couldn't.

"Yes, Alice?" I answered on the second ring, not even bothering to check the caller I.D.

Her tinkling laugh greeted me on the other end. "Hi, Bella! And they think I am the only psychic around here," she giggled.

"I knew it would be you because of what I had started planning," I explained as a small smile pulled at my lips. Alice could be annoying at times, but I loved her more than anything and I wouldn't trade her for the world. Next to Edward, no one knew me better or understood me more than she did.

"I'm so exited! I was thinking of taking you after your bachelorette party, but this is so much better!" Alice could barely contain her excitement, and I swear I could hear her clapping.

"Alice, I don't need a party…" I tried to argue with her, but she expertly cut me off.

"Now Bella, remember we've already talked about this. It's part of the tradition for all the women to get together and share their wisdom with you while we shower you with gifts!"

"Ugh! Alice you know I hate presents and being the center of attention. Please can't we - OW! – just skip that one?" I stubbed my toe on the corner of the bed as I tried to get dressed and talk at the same time. I should know better by now than to try and multi-task. It almost always ends in injury.

"What happened?" Alice sighed. She was growing used to my constant clumsiness although she didn't seem to find it as endearing as Edward did.

"Nothing, just trying to do too many things at once," I muttered as I pulled my shirt on.

"What time should I come pick you up tomorrow?" Alice sounded excited again and, in spite of myself, I grinned.

"The human needs beauty sleep, so how about ten?" I ventured, sure that she wouldn't be able to contain herself until then.

"Hmmm, alright, ten it is. Oh, and Bella?"

"Yes Alice?"

"Have you had a chance to read any of that book I gave you?"

I groaned and heard her giggle on the other end. "No, not yet. I still can't understand why you gave it to me Alice. You know I don't read stuff like that."

"Give it a chance, Bella. I just know you will love it!" Her little pixie laugh that echoed over the phone had just the hint of an edge to it. For some reason it made me blush, but I couldn't put my finger on why.

"My brother is going to be there soon, so I'll let you go now. See you tomorrow!" she chirped.

"Bye, Alice," I murmured as I hung up.

I picked up my towels and brought them back to the bathroom. I grimaced as I looked in the mirror. I roughly yanked my brush through my wet tangles and set about brushing my teeth and washing my face. By the time I had finished I still wasn't seeing or feeling any kind of improvement on my tired features.

"Beauty sleep indeed," I muttered. It would take me at least a decade of solid sleep to become anything that even resembled beautiful, if that kind of thing were even possible. I sulked back to my room and flopped down onto my unmade bed. My elbow hit the spine of the book that Alice had left me, causing tingles to shoot down my arm into my fingertips. I picked up the book and stared at the cover for a moment, feeling myself blush again.

Oh, what the heck, why not? I removed the graphic dust cover and placed it in the drawer of my nightstand before I cracked open the book and settled into a more comfortable reading position. I couldn't handle the idea of my fingers touching any part of that half naked man on the cover. I found that the story was actually pretty good and easy to get into. The Edward in the book played the piano, like mine did, but he was from the early 1800's. I guessed Alice had thought I would be more likely to read this since it took place during the period of some of the other novels I enjoyed. The main character's love interest was a woman named Corrine, and for the time period this story was set it she was VERY forward thinking. And just forward in general. It wasn't long before she was trying to entice her Edward into some steamy action on his piano bench. I felt a blush color my cheeks as I pictured her advances, replacing the characters with me and my Edward.

…in the dim light of the oil lamps she watched as he lovingly stroked the ivory keys, enticing the beautiful music out of them that floated elegantly around the small room. The muscles on his back rippled and tensed as the music crescendo vibrated the floor beneath her heels. She felt the vibrations travelling up her legs and into her very core. She loved to watch him play, to hear he music he created solely on his ever changing moods. It was beyond any other sensual experience she ever had. She silently stepped forward to brush her fingers along his strong back and arms. His body froze, the music coming to a halting stop, and he slowly turned his head, a look of surprise almost masking the lust on his features. She silently slid between his body and the piano, staring down into his haunting green eyes. Without speaking she leaned down and gently took his lower lip between hers, sucking on it slightly. He grabbed her suddenly, slamming her hips down onto his as she straddled his body. She gasped as his mouth hungrily devoured hers, feeling her womanly heat grind up against his rock hard…

"Good book, love?"

I jumped nearly three feet in the air as Edwards' voice cut through the silence. My heart pounded loudly in my ears and I struggled to calm my gasping breaths as I looked over to see him sitting in my rocking chair, a slightly amused expression adorning his face.

"Are you trying to give me a stroke?" I accused breathlessly. He chuckled lightly, but didn't move from his seat. "When did you get here?"

"Oh, I've been here for some time. You just seemed to be, er, rather absorbed in your story." He grinned as I blushed deeper.

I closed the book and stuffed it between the mattress and box spring. There was no way in hell that I wanted him to know what I was reading. I knew he was old fashioned about things, having been raised over a hundred years ago, and I had no inclination to find out his opinion on my new pastime. I started to get up to go over to him when my foot became tangled in the blankets, sending me sprawling towards the floor. I felt his strong, cold arms envelope me as he scooped me up and set me back on the bed. He chuckled as he took a seat next to me and brushed my hair out of my eyes. When I looked up into his face I noticed his eyes were a bit darker than usual after a hunting trip. I frowned slightly.

"Didn't you go hunting with Jasper and Emmett today?" I asked.

"Yes, why do you ask, love?" He appeared to be a little confused by my question.

"Your eyes, they're darker than normal. Not quite black, but nowhere near the gold they usually are after you have hunted," I observed lightly. A slightly embarrassed look crossed Edwards' perfect face, not a look I saw very often. I was pretty sure if he could blush, he would have been. He looked away from for a moment and smiled slightly.

"Yes, well, that happens sometimes," he murmured as he looked around my room. I was just about to ask what caused it when he smiled and swooped in to kiss my neck. I was rendered completely speechless as all coherent thoughts fled my brain at that moment. This was often the case whenever Edward kissed me, or touched me, or even looked at me. I was barely capable of breathing correctly let alone forming any kind of sentence structure.

His lips whispered down my neck and then back up, focusing on the small spot just beneath my ear. My breaths started coming more quickly and I fisted one hand into my blankets as my other traced up his arm and grasped his shoulder. I felt him smile against my skin as he placed slow, soft kisses along my jaw, stopping at the corner of my mouth. I felt my body start to tremble as he pulled back to stare into my eyes. His eyes were a smoldering black fire and the intensity of his stare made a familiar heat rise in my belly.

"My Bella," he whispered against my lips, his cool breath washing over my face, dazzling me further. He crushed his lips onto mine with a force that I rarely felt. I instantly fisted one of my hands into his hair while the one on his shoulder tried desperately to pull his body closer to mine. Faster than I could wrap my head around, I found myself lying on my back with Edward hovering over me. His body was pressed lightly into mine as he held his weight off me with his arms. He never broke the kiss despite his rapid movement or the change of our position. I slowly traced my fingers along the collar of his shirt, lightly skimming the tips over the smooth marble skin of his neck. I felt him shudder slightly under my touch and he broke from our kiss, trailing his lips along my jaw and neck, allowing me to finally catch my breath. When I felt his lips graze over my ear, I gasped and scratched my nails hard against the back of his neck. A small moan rose in his throat, causing the heat in my lower abdomen burst into an uncontrollable inferno. Passion clouded my brain as I locked my mouth feverishly with his once again and wrapped my leg around the back of his. I slightly shifted my body down so that my hips were directly below his. His tongue slid along my lips and I opened my mouth in a small gasp, inviting him to deepen the kiss. That's when I heard him sigh.

No, no, no!

Edwards carefully, but firmly disentangled himself from my limbs and rolled over next to me, maintaining a cautious distance. I couldn't help the scowl that took over my features as I tried to calm my racing heart and slow my erratic breathing. Edward chuckled as he took in my expression and casually leaned over to gently kiss the top of my head.

"Patience, love. It's only a little over a month until the wedding." I knew his words were meant to offer me some solace, but all they did was serve to frustrate me further.

I knew he had his boundaries and they were in place to ensure my safety, blah, blah, blah. But in moments like these I just wanted to say 'screw my safety' and jump on him. I knew he found my 'impatient human hormones' comical, if not somewhat bothersome, but they weren't something I could help. I didn't even feel inclined to apologise for them anymore.

Not too long ago he had agreed, albeit reluctantly, to try to make love on our honeymoon. It was the one human experience that I had insisted on if we were going to get married. And I was more than prepared to wait for the actual night before attempting what he considered to be the impossible. But while I was more than up for expanding our horizons in the weeks that led up to the wedding, he didn't seem to be the least bit interested.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Edwards velvety voice brought me out of my inner sulking, reminding me that he was still right next to me. I cleared my throat, knowing that this next conversation might prove to be more than a little difficult.

"Well, I was actually thinking about the compromise that we made…about trying," I said cautiously. I kept my eyes down, watching my fingers absent-mindedly trace the patterns on my quilt. I felt him stiffen next to me ever so slightly and tried to hold back the sigh that I wanted to release in defeat. I knew he wouldn't make this easy.

"What about it?" Edward asked warily.

"Well, it's just that I know we are waiting for the…wedding," I still had trouble saying the actual word out loud without choking on it, "to um…make love, but…" I started stammering as I felt the blush burn my face and my heart pick up speed, both reactions I was sure wouldn't escape his all knowing vampire senses.

Ugh! Why can't I talk about this without stumbling like an idiot! We're going to be married for God sake; we should be able to talk about anything!

"But?" he prompted hesitantly. I took a deep breath and plunged forward.

"There are a lot of things that we could do between now and then without going anywhere near crossing that line." When I finished talking I realised I had shut my eyes. His silence was becoming overwhelming as the minutes ticked by without one word from him. I slowly opened my eyes and raised my head.

His face was serious, his eyes thoughtful and maybe even a little…stern? It wasn't anywhere near the expression I was hoping for.

"What did you have in mind?" he asked carefully. He was looking down at our hands, which had twined together during the uncomfortable silence.

The question caught me off guard. It shouldn't have, being that it was a logical follow up to my previous suggestion, but I wasn't prepared to answer it just then. I swallowed loudly.

"Um, well, I, uh, don't know exactly," I was stammering again, becoming more flustered at trying to talk about things I had no experience actually doing. My face grew hotter as I tried to formulate an idea, any idea, that wouldn't offend his delicate Victorian sensibilities. When I didn't answer again I saw him smile slightly and run his hands through his thick bronze locks.

"Did you have something specific in mind that you wanted us to do?" he asked hesitantly.

God we are both really bad at this. I shook my head and sucked in another breath, trying to steel my resolve and talk about this like the adult I kept insisting I was.

"Not really," I said as evenly as I could manage. "I just hate how you pull away all the time. It seems like anytime we approach anything fairly…intimate…you stop." I was quite proud of myself for getting all that out without stuttering once and wasn't intently focused on Edwards' reaction, so his next words took me by surprise.

"Well, yes, I suppose you are right. But that is because any other form of intimacy wouldn't be…proper…at this stage. It's meant for after we are married, love," he said simply as he tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.

Had I just heard him right? Was he telling me that besides kissing and a bit of cuddling, there would be no other physical contact until our honeymoon? Was he serious?

"Wait, what? What do you mean it wouldn't be proper?" I sat up and stared right at him.

"Bella, you have to understand that when I was brought up, the kind of affection that you and I share wasn't allowed at all between couples who weren't married. The type of intimacy you are hinting at, well, I just assumed we would wait until we were married before going any further." He shifted slightly before levelling a serious stare at me. I realised then that I was making him uncomfortable. He didn't even like talking about the possibility of touching me.

I tried to control my expression, but I am sure that the disappointment and shock must have been apparent on my face. As I lay down on my bed and rested my face against his stone chest, my mind began to spin out of control. He wasn't interested in taking things any further between us. He saw the very idea as indecent, improper, and maybe even unappealing. I lay perfectly still, breathing as evenly as I could manage, letting him stroke his hands soothingly down my back and through my hair. Any other night this action alone would have been enough to lull me off to a peaceful sleep, but not tonight.

Before, I had just assumed that Edward was too afraid to push himself and his boundaries out of fear for my safety. That the only thing holding him back from touching me the way I longed for was his lack of faith in his own self control. I hadn't realised that the idea of us exploring each other further wasn't as appealing to him as it obviously was to me. I bit my lip as I fought back the hurt and the tears that welled in my eyes suddenly.

He seemed so eager in the meadow just a short time ago. He had wanted to make love to me right then and there…hadn't he? Maybe he was just caught up in the moment of us having survived Victoria and her newborns. Or maybe…I shuddered lightly as the next thought slammed into my brain.

Maybe it was just a bluff. Maybe he had no interest of following through at all.

"Bella?" Edwards' voice twisted with concern. He must have felt my shiver. I just shook my head slowly.

"Just flashbacks of the battle," I mumbled as I felt him pull me tighter to his hard body. He started humming my lullaby, trying to lull me off to sleep.

My insecurities were screaming at me as I tried to keep my body from giving away my heightened emotional state. I didn't like lying to him, but there was no way I could talk to him about this now without crying, and I flat out refused to be that pathetic. I closed my eyes and tried to settle into sleep. A little voice in the back of my head, one that sounded suspiciously like Alice, was whispering for me to not give up hope just yet. Maybe, just maybe, there was a way to get Edward to come around at least a little bit. I just hadn't found it yet.