Disclaimer: I don't own the Flash. But I do own a computer and a fanfic acount and an active imagination. So there's that.
~J.H.
"I love you," her words come out as barely a whisper, and, for a moment, he's not sure if he heard her correctly. He's dreamed of her saying it a thousand times, so when she actually says is, so softly and sweetly, with her eyes closed and her head against his bare chest, he thinks he's imagined it.
But, the next moment, she says it again, louder, as if to confirm it, "I love you. Okay?" He didn't realize that he was tense until he feels himself relax against her as she says it. She's not the kind of person to say those words easily, even though he is. He's told her several times already, and he's meant it every single time, but she'd never said it back.
Not until right now. Right now, she said it back. Twice. He wants to tell her it again, but the words get caught in Barry's throat, and he's afraid he might cry if he says them aloud. So, instead, he presses his lips against Caitlin's hair, squeezing her closer to him, feeling her bare skin press against his.
"I'm sorry it took so long for me to get around to say it," she whispers.
"Shhh," he says, because, honestly, he doesn't care that she took long to say it, he only cares that she did say it—and, more importantly, that she meant it. Because he knows that Caitlin Snow would not have let those words leave her mouth unless she truly meant them. He finds his hand tracing little circles on her back, enjoying the feeling of her smooth skin under his fingers.
"I love you, too," he finally manages, speaking the words against her hair.
"I know," she says. He knows she knows, but he just wants her to hear it again. In fact, he wants her to hear it every day of her life, for the rest of her life.
It's that moment, lying in bed after their first night together, Barry Allen realizes that he wants to spend the rest of his life with Caitlin Snow. There's no doubt in his mind about it—not even a little doubt. He wants to spend the rest of his life with her: to marry her, to build a family with her, to grow old with her…
It's too early, he reminds himself, because even though he and Caitlin met four years ago, they've only been dating for two months, and she just now realized she loved him. She's not ready, and he knows it. And, even though all Barry really wants to do is to tell her how he really feels—that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, if she'll let him, he doesn't. It's too soon. It's much too soon. He tells himself over and over again. He may want to spend the rest of his life with her, but will she actually want to spend the rest of her life with him? He doubts it. She may love him, but loving someone and making a lifelong commitment to someone are two very different htings…
And so he holds back. Even though that moment was one of the happiest in his life—next to the first time he kissed her and the first time he said 'I love you'—he holds back.