Hello and welcome to the exclusive nightclub Hidden in the Smoke. If you are familiar with these 12 people you are probably wondering why the name of the club isn't Hidden in the Leaves. For one thing, the name is kind of worn out.How many things besides bugs are hidden in leaves? Hidden in the Smoke is a more alluring name, a more exotic name. Besides Konoha is fire orientated, their leader's name does mean fire shadow.
Now this was not the only club in the area. The Sound of Seduction, no surprise, and Sand Dune, predictable really, were also in the area. Every loser, poser, cheater, and liar that ever came from The Sound of Seduction was secretly hated by everyone.
Their "boss" Orochimaru was declared missing by the police and his pet snake also disappeared. Like its really hard to find a huge coiled thing in the city. The Sound club was coated in black and purple everywhere...which lead to the question: is purple really an evil color? I kind of like purple and I'm postive I've never blown anything up before. A certain white haired guy with glasses took over after their boss went missing. Some say he is cunning while others just mention he was a, listen here folks, dirty snake in the grass.
Sand Dune is a lot cooler than people give it credit for. It's all Arabian desert oriented in there, a certain charm people just love. Temari and Kankuro worked their hardest with their Sand Nin to make it the best desert centric club ever. Seriously, sand was just everywhere, not one could really tell if it was fake or not.
Gaara wasn't interested in the club but he can be seen there from time to time. He just sat there; drink in one hand, watching whoever causes trouble. Although he didn''t really give a damn about anything he didn't like it when his siblings' hard work goes to waste. His kin often bother him about the club and Gaara has more important things to think about...like how to make his sand so much more powerful. Like slowly strangling, with the sand near by, any guy who ogles at Temari or any hussy that tries to pull a fast one on Kankuro.
In a weird undercover way, he cared.
The Akatsuki also had their own club or pub, Blood Moon, which was a few streets away on the "bad" side of town. Pein, Konan and Tobi stopped by Hidden in the Smoke once, as if they were looking for something.
Naruto said with a smile that if they were looking for their senses of humor they left them somewhere else...It got really quiet after that.
That club had lost a few workers in the past month, seemed like they were losing their touch. Itachi, their finest bartender, Sasori, Hiden and Deidara, the resident "comic" (I mean think about it..."Art go BOOM!!:"...isn't that pretty funny?) The rest of the Akatsuki stayed in their club for days on end getting high, smacking each other around and drawing straws to see who would clean the bathrooms again. Poor Zetsu, somehow he always got that duty and ended up talking to himself in the dirty mucus infested, don't ask how mucus got there; you do not want to know, washroom.
Well now that we've met the competition lets check out Hidden in the Smoke or, affectionally named, The Smokescreen. There was no "boss" really, just three mini bosses. That would be the former Team 7.
Naruto gave his heart and soul to the club, mostly everything good that's happened is his doing. Its easy to tell where all the complimentary ramen came from and who usually ate the ramen leftovers. Usually the DJ but never limiting himself he works as club designer and director.
The club did have an orange wall near the back, where another mural of Naruto's was. A beautiful whirpool made from every shade of blue imagined and a yellow lightning flash going through it, everyone respected that mural.
Who would of thought the boy who lived in a piggy pen of an apartment would have an eye for color so much. He just claims he mixed a few colors and freely splashed some walls but everyone knew he worked hard on it.
The ever serious Sasuke works as bartender to the club, alongside Neji and Shikamaru. Grumpy, Sleepy, and Grumpier were some of the best and some of the best looking also. Smokescreen was pretty big in order to have three bartenders. Neji and Sasuke were alike in many ways, considering the only emotions they showed to others are Amusement At Someone's Expense, Really Pissed Off, Talk To Me And You Die and Indifference.
Although he doesn't show it, Sasuke is warming up the idea of working at the club again. He left for a few years to work at The Sound of Seduction but returned a few months ago. His old teammates and friends welcomed him back with no hesitation, no one mixed drinks like he did.
Some costumers complained that they missed his margaritas and martinis; especially those free ones he would throw in there after you had about...six. When asked about that he just replied, "People are amusing when drunk".
Sasuke was like one of those guys on the train you see that looks like he hates the world but has the happiest and spunkiest girlfriend ever. That's the case here. He and Sakura have been...ahem...going together for a while. From even before he left for The Sound, but he never forgot her. It was no surprise to the other club members but it was kind of shocking to see them lip locking...in public.
GASP
Yes.Lets just say, for the sake of conversation, Ino dropped her tray, Hinata almost passed out, Shikamaru's eye wouldn't stop twitching, Kiba gave an impersonation of the famous Scooby Doo "Huuur???", and Naruto looked unimpressed. He had to go up and poke them on the head to make sure it wasn't some creepy genjutsu. It wasn't, so he gave Sasuke a big clap on the back and smiled that big foxy smile and left them to each other.
Sakura, the pink haired bartender, couldn't be happier. Sasuke finally came back to her...after all those wishes on stars and small dandelions she found on her way to work finally came true. At twenty two, she was one of the strongest and elegant female ninjas in the whole group.
But a warning, if you ever meet her and she pulls out those black gloves...run away. Just turn and run like you stole something and the cops are after you. Nothing good can ever come out of a big ass hole in the ground.
Neji, our favorite male Hyuuga, worked at the club by default. His soon to be wife, though their relationship was kept under wraps, and his cousin both worked their and pushed for him to join them. He couldn't just say no, his girlfriend gave him a very hurtful threat.
"No touching", blank stare,"I'm serious Neji, if you don't work at the club you'll never touch me and I'll never touch you again".
He was a man, he had needs for crying out loud! Hyuuga's didn't beg but he came really close to that night. First he hated the thought of working together with the Uchiha and...Naruto. As if it wasn't enough that the blonde was practically in love with the person he was sworn to protect but now Neji practically worked for him??? Ughh fate is a very cruel mistress...very cruel indeed.
Well the only person to get under his skin, in a good way, also worked there. Tenten was a cocktail waitress and part time DJ. She went by the names DJ Hev-In or DJ X-X. Of course whenever a guy ogled at her outfit, training bra and jeans (it got very hot in the club after seven p.m or so she said. Everyone knew how much she loved to torture Neji till he cracked and pounced on her like rabbit during mating season) guess who would step in.
It wasn't that she wouldn't defend herself as a good ninja would. Here's a girl that can kill you with fifteen different weapons at the same time without you even blinking. She'll have you nailed against a wall somewhere begging for your life as the troops role in. As if one dangerously pissed off Hyuuga wasn't enough Lee also defended Tenten's youthful virtues. The "scary face" a.k.a Byakugan Neji and the "mushroom kid" a.k.a Lee in his taijutsu uniform would scare away the men with twice the scary. Scarring them for lie in more ways than one.
That's how it was with every woman worker in the club.
You ogle, go all googly-eyed over a kuniochi, someone or some people will beat you into a pulp.
For Sakura it was Naruto, red eyed, with his Rasengan and Sasuke, Sharingan turned on, with his trusty Chidori. All that is needed was Kakashi and his Raikiri and its the I'll Pound Your Ass Into The Ground Reunion Tour. If coming to a city near you, run away...far away. Although they are pretty lights and all, they hurt like damn if you get struck by one. Besides 5 very angry scarlet eyes are not to be toiled with.
For Ino...oh boy Ino...if you so much as blinked in her direction and smirked you were met with a shadow master with a possessive side and a huge guy just wanting to roll you over. The male members of Team 10 had a blood thirsty side. How would you like to suddenly freeze in place while a huge ball of angry muscles just flattens you like a pancake?
But of all the girls there, the one who got the most help in there situations was Hinata. Some man made a comment about her...uhh humm..."size"...wow...lets just say Naruto started to ooze orange chakra.
Kiba, though out of the running for Hinata' s Number One, still went all Man- Beast on the man. Akamaru and him went crazy wild, like they had rabies or something.
Neji...silly Neji...he just looked at him and the guy flew out the door. Yea...Neji had that kind of power.
Caring Shino made his little friends crawl on the guy's ankle and bite him; paralyzing him for a few...days maybe...he doesn't even know. And if he did, he wasn't telling...he liked watching the man sweat like he was about to get mauled by a bear...or tiger...or both.
That is why there is a no Jutsu rule in the club. Nothing, not even eye jutsus, were allowed anymore. But it wasn't the Konoha 12 that did anything to spark the new rule. Honestly...it was...brace yourself...it was our dear..."lovable" friend Sabuko no Gaara. He was at the club one night, just sitting there.
He was Naruto' s football watching partner and part time bouncer despite his lanky body.
When some emo guy...who knows how he got in and no it wasn't Sasuke...said "Cool eyeliner, where'd you buy it?". Though that part of his life was taken away, he still got testy whenever someone mentioned anything about the remains of his Shukaku. That emo kid knew him as the last person he saw before sand engulfed him. He didn't die...well he almost didn't live either but thank god Naruto was there.
Somehow he got through to almost every one. The resident "cigarette" that calmed everyone's nerves.
Speaking of cigarettes, Shikamaru was trying to cut down. Ever since Asuma died he had picked up the habit while Ino tried to get him to stop .Patches and gum didn't work for him very well, they just made him want to smoke more. Luckily, with him being at the club all the time, there was hardly any time to smoke anymore.
When he wasn't at Hidden in the Smoke, he was with Ino and she hated cigarette smoke. They were the noticably over-sexed couple in the whole club. Seriously, there was almost no competition between them and the other couples.
Neji and Tenten, though it was obvious they weren't virgins, didn't flaunt their sex life at all, it was on a need to know basis and no one needed to know.
Sasuke and Sakura didn't flaunt it either; Sasuke was very touchy about his business especially when it came to their "business" business.
A day didn't go by where Shikamaru wasn't pulling Ino onto his lap and sucking on her neck during her break or sneaking off to the bathrooms to "clean it" .Riiiight...cleaning it. Is that what the crazy kids are calling it these days? Ino loved all the attention she got and equally repayed him with subtle touches and whispering dirty things into his ear.
Kiba, the pour soul, was eternally confused at the club. No one ever told him anything anymore, kind of made you want to give him a hug or two.
Choji, Lee and him had started the Single's Club, or SC, where they searched for their...and I'm quoting Lee here..."Youthful spring time of love!" Doesn't matter that it was fall and fricking cold outside, SPRINGTIME OF LOVE!!! Akamaru was huuge...I'm talking about he-can-eat-you kind of huge. He was allowed in the club only because he made a great guard dog and could carry trays of food on his back.
But these youngsters weren't the only ones at the club. Their old senseis stopped by once in a while. Kakashi, how does he drink with that mask, always came by at least once a month to check up on his old students.
Gai always followed him and challenged him to a shot contest every time...and lost everytime. Do you know how embarrassing it is to have the man who taught you everything he knows bending over the toilet bowl hacking up his lunch? Lee would just smile and pat Gai on the back, causing him to hurl again, and say," That's my sensei, he never turns down a challenge!".
Kakashi would have to drag Iruka with him too because he obviously had no life or anything better to do. Iruka was a light drinker and straight out refused anything from Sasuke, he was known to spike drinks, even if it was free.
Kurenai, and her son, also stopped by. She brought her son only because she trusted Shikamaru and Ino with her life. Though it was a nightclub, during the day it wasn't so bad and made the greatest discovery mission for her son.
Tsunade, loves her sake, stopped by every Saturday night to drink and talk medical jutsus with Sakura. Jiraiya often came with her to "keep the creative juices flowing" for his books.
It got a little awkward one time when he tried to hit on Ino because he was crazy drunk.
Shikamaru wasn't even upset, a little unnerved, but not upset.
Seemed like Sasuke mixed a few before handing the glass to the snow haired man. After that everyone knew Jiraiya was just there to keep Tsunade in check. He didn't drink as much and watched her from the rims of his glass every few minutes, warding away every touchy-feely man that wanted to see if "they were real". The blonde never complained nor bragged about her silent bodyguard, she just allowed him the pleasure of seeing her home every night. No one knew if he every stayed over.
Though they were barely legal, Konahamaru and his friends often visited their idols. They couldn't drink but that didn't stop them from begging the bartenders for just one sip. Sasuke got irritated one time and just passed them a shot of whiskey each, which they promptly threw up a few minutes later.
They were not allowed to drink again and Sasuke got an amused smirk at that. His I-told-you-so smirk wasn't wiped out his face for days.
The old Ino- Shika- Cho trio often stopped by as well. Shikamaru would ask his father if the woman (his mother) still has Shikaku whipped to which his father would say, "Yes does Ino have you whipped?". He couldn't say no...I mean Ino was standing right there smirking at him...just eating away his pride. He would murmur a small yes and walk away with the trio and Ino laughing at him with all the love in the world. Inoichi Yamanaka, who at first disapproved of their relationship, loved it when his daughter teased her beloved.
A Yamanaka teasing a Nara made the world a better place.
It's easy to say that these men and women really got it all together with the club. But that never stopped the awkward, horrifying , funny, weird, clueless, confusing, irritating and down right depressing moments from rolling in. Stay tuned for more from Hidden in the Smoke and welcome again to the most interesting assortment of moments of their young lives.