second nature

(replicanaminé) Because loving you just comes second nature to me. A collection of one-shots based on false memories and falser emotions. (say goodbye to the hearts you break and all the cyanide you drank.)

(a/n) so now I'm doing another collection of another pairing. what? it's for loren's birthday, okay? because she's awesome like that. seriously. inspired also by mcr's "to the end." flipping love that song, kthx.

(blanket disclaimer) never ever gonna be mine. by the way, if kairiku is the old-school love, this pairing is the new-school love. fo' sho'.

xxx

(i) to the end (for loren)

If you marry me, would you bury me? Would you carry me to the end?

You don't know who she is. You don't even know what she is.

You don't know the word "angel" yet.

xxx

You hate this castle. Though you have never known any other place, though this is what some might term your home, for you it has never seemed a birthplace so much as a coffin.

You were created here. You live here now. You will die here.

Probably soon.

At least you can share your tomb with an angel.

xxx

(say goodbye to the vows you take)

"I'll protect you. I promise."

But when the Savage Nymph beats her until the black-and-blue-and-red stands out against her pale skin like a child's fingerpaints—

But when you come back from training with the Cloaked Schemer tired and aching and bleeding and bruised and she is huddled against the wall with a notebook stained scarlet but not with her crayons—

But when you reach out to her and she cringes away from your touch—

What have you been protecting her from?

xxx

(say goodbye to the life you make)

No more will you remember the times she has forced an unfamiliar smile onto her face to make you feel as though you've done something right.

No more will you remember the touch of her gentle fingers on your face as she dressed your wounds with linen bandages and a kiss for good luck.

No more will you remember when she asked your name, and when you had no answer to give, she had replied, "Well, I'll just have to call you my Prince Charming, I suppose."

No more.

Now you only know blue sky and blue sea and warmth and sand and light and dark. Shooting stars. People you've never known. A name and a face that do not belong to you.

But the same angel.

And the same promise.

And you tell yourself that's all you need.

xxx

(say goodbye to the hearts you break...)

Even then, it isn't enough.

Your angel is beautiful and your angel is perfect and your angel has plunged her hand into your chest and pulled out your raw, beating heart and calmly crushed it before your very eyes.

Your angel has killed you.

You won't let it be so.

So you gather up your heart's pieces and you sew them together with your devotion and your love and your promise. Because you don't break a promise. Even if your promise has already broken you.

xxx

(and say goodbye)

You could leave her.

(and walk away)

You should leave her.

(and say goodnight)

But you won't.

xxx

(to the hearts you break and all the cyanide you drank)

You were created in a tank. You were raised by fallen scientists. You can rattle off the molecular composition of every organic compound known to humankind.

You didn't drink from that vial out of ignorance.

And while fire spreads from your mouth to your veins to your limbs to your brain, you find your angel and you press your deadly lips to hers, dripping with fire and ice and obsession and devotion and love and undiluted potassium cyanide. Her eyes widen...but she doesn't pull away.

And like tragic lovers of old you die in each other's arms, holding on tightly and tasting each other's fire, walking hand-in-hand to your graves.

I'll marry you. I'll bury you. I'll carry you to the end.

xxxFINxxx

(a/n) ...wow. umm...happy birthday?