This story was originally written by shalelightstone on A03, I decided to do a remix from Amy's perspective because the original is focused on Rosa. Let me know what you think.

TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE

Chapter Text

If you ever watch a movie or read a book that portrays sexual assault, there's invariably some sort of scuffle.

I struggled at first. It was instinct. But tonight I earned a bite on my shoulder for my efforts. It threw me off enough for him to have time to pin me against my bed and rip off my clothes.

After that, I tried to lash out, to kick, to scatch, to bite, but my body was refused to obey my orders. I just stared up at him, paralysed.

In that moment, I didn't exist.

When he left, I became aware of how loud I was sobbing. My fist was clenching the partly ripped off sheet. The duvet lay crumpled on the floor. My clothes had been partially torn and flung across the room. My favourite lamp was broken, and I knew by feel alone that I had a black eye.

The detective in me was telling me to lock the door, then grab my phone and call for help, but I just wanted to sleep and forget this ever happened. I shuffled off the blood patch slightly and curled up on the corner of the mattress, closing my eyes.

Sirens were blaring in the distance, causing a ripple of car horns to go off as they scrambled to try to get out of the way, setting off the neighbours dog. A large group of people were stood outside, laughing. The flat below us was having a party and being rather inconsiderate about noise levels. Since when is New York so fucking loud?

I take a couple of deep breaths in between sobs and close my eyes again.

But then some moron slams a door a few flats down, and I give in. He could break in whenever he wanted. I slowly sit myself up, all too aware of my throbbing muscles, and reach for my phone.

I panicked when I heard a key in the lock. I knew it could be Teddy, that he could be coming back to hurt me, but I was paralysed. I tried to scream, but my mouth isn't working. It was as if it was happening all over again. Like an endless reel of film, I couldn't pause.

"Can you tell me who did this to you?" I blinked. Rosa was crouched by my bed, eye level with me. When had she got here? Her tone was softer than it usually was. One I recognised from when we dealt with victims of crime at the precinct. I could tell she was scared. That she knew precisely what had gone on. I knew to tell her would be to complicate things. But I didn't want her to be sad as well, so I gave her what she wanted.

"Teddy."

My own words hit me hard. I hadn't expected my voice to be so shaky or so quiet. I certainly hadn't planned to burst into tears and begin to tremble violently when I said his name. I closed my eyes tightly, gasping for breath, begging my mind not to replay the scene.

I was pulled from my thoughts by the sensation of warm leather being draped over my back. I knew by its familiar fragrance it was Rosa's. Then, with it, a hand rested on my shoulder. I flinched at first, as it was unexpected, but I quickly relaxed.

It's what I focused on. Her hand. The weight of it. The coconut smell that lingered in the air. The warm material that was laid against my skin, protecting my dignity. Slowly, my sobs settled.

"Amy, I'm really sorry about this, but I need you to answer this, so I know how to help you." I silently begged her not to ask, knowing if I had to speak I'd start sobbing hysterically again. " Did...did he take advantage of you?"

I swallowed, squeezing my eyes shut and clinging to the sheets as the reality of the situation came crashing down on me all at once.

Rosa's rubbing my shoulder with her thumb, bringing me out of my spiral. She's so different from the Rosa I know from work. I take a deep breath in and nod.

"Can I take you to the hospital?"

Telling Rosa was one thing, but going to the hospital and reporting it meant that it would be escalated - I'd never be able to look anyone in the NYPD in the eye again. Not after taking one of their finest officers from them.

It takes a moment for me to get my voice to work without bursting into hysterics. "I...I don't want to report it," I whisper. "You don't have to report it, I just want to get you checked out. Make sure there is no serious damage," I hesitated. It was probably a good idea. Teddy might be a cop, but I didn't know if he was clean. We were regularly in contact with all kinds of bodily fluids as part of the job. What if I caught an STD? What if I got pregnant? My parents won't let me have an abortion. Can I be a mother? Who's going to help me raise it? What about my job?

"Will you let me take you?" Rosa's voice brings me back to the present. I nod, slowly. It's a good idea. I think. "Thank you." She whispers. She stands up and goes and fetches me some comfy sweats before helping me to get dressed. It hurts, but I don't cry or whimper. I'm too tired for that.

I watch numbly as she collects my discarded clothes off the floor and places them into a bag. I know the drill. I'm a detective with the NYPD. It's just in case I change my mind about reporting it. But I won't. Simple as. I can't ruin my future before it's even begun.

Slowly, I stagger out of my room, clutching onto Rosa's arm. It hurts to walk, and I'm sure I'm bleeding again. Upon reaching the door, I turn back for one final look at my destroyed apartment as Rosa grabs my car keys and locks up. "Come on, let's get you out of here." She whispers, guiding me down to her car.