This short story was written for Ereri-writing-prompts, Natsukashii.
(You can find the post for the prompt on tumblr)


Eren crossed his arms on the steering wheel and put his chin on them, looking absently through the windshield. His car was parked in a residential area that was spreading only on a few blocks, composed of similar-looking houses with white fences and green lawns. The one he was staring at wasn't anything special compared to the others but still, for Eren, it was. It was the house he had been raised and had lived in throughout all of his childhood before having to move out when he had been twelve, because of his father's work. It was the house he had once called home and had wished to come back to ever since he had left.

But now that he was in front of it, ten years later, he didn't have that desire anymore. He could still recall a lot of warm and happy memories which had taken place in it, could still hear child's laughter echoing in his ears as he was running around the yard, his mother's voice telling him to be careful, and he could still see clearly her fond smile when she looked at him.

He had wished to come back to it only because of what it had represented, for what had happened in it, but not for the house itself. On its own it was just a regular and plain-looking house, but with its memories attached to it, it was the residence of the hopes and dreams he had once had.

With a long and deep sigh, Eren eventually turned the key in the ignition and pulled out from his parking place to drive to his next destination. He was feeling both thrilled and nervous. His stomach was tied up in knots from the stress of coming back to his hometown after ten long years, and he could feel bubbly and warm feelings spreading through it from excitement. The two feelings were fighting each other inside his body, taking turns in overwhelming him and gaining in intensity at every come back.

He didn't know what he was really after, didn't know why he had come all the way here. But with his studies over and a new life ahead of him, he had felt the need to come back to his origins. Besides, the new apartment he had found near his soon-to-be workplace was only an hour and a half away from the small town of Shiganshina, the closest he had ever been to it since his moving. The city he had been forced to move to was on the other side of the country and with him being just a kid, he hadn't had the opportunity until now to come back. Even when he had turned eighteen and became legally an adult, he hadn't found the time between his studies and all the new responsibilities he had had to face.

As he was driving through town, he couldn't help but Let his eyes scan the streets and search for familiar places of his childhood. The bakery where he used to buy bread and pastries with his mother, the bookshop where his father used to bring him every time he had finished reading a book, the only decent restaurant of Shiganshina where he had spent a lot of dinners with his parents. All of those places he had shared happy memories with his family.

And then there were the places he had went to with his best and only friend. Their grade school, where they met for the first time and became friends. Their junior high school too, from which he had had to be transferred because of his moving. The memories were bittersweet, going from all the times he had laughed, played and talked with him, to the times where they had been picked on by rude and stupid kids, and yelled at by angry teachers.

But the happiest memories he had created with his best friend were all situated in one special place. It wasn't really one if anyone looked at it, much like his house, it was only special because of the memories and secret it had seen unfolded. Memories he had always kept close to his heart and had never let go of, would never let go of. It was the only place he had really wanted to go back to, wanted nothing but to immerge himself into the distant memories of his childhood.

Eren jumped to the ground and closed his car behind him, hesitantly putting one foot in front of the other and making his way towards the small park that was laying in front of him. It was composed of a few trees but mostly bushes and flowers, and benches. It wasn't particularly different from what he remembered, the passage of time only visible from the aging and faded colors of the wooden seats. The flowers were also different from what he remembered, but that was only to be expected.

It didn't take him too long to find the place he was looking for, and once he was standing in front of it, looking at the bench hidden in a corner between bushes and trees, he was instantly transported years back. Moments where he and his best friend would sit next to each other, not yet ready to go back home and be separated, and would talk about everything and anything.

Eren could still remember the secrets they had shared, whispered in each other's ear like they were afraid someone would hear them. He could still remember the low voice of his friend, how he would always speak slowly like he was choosing his words carefully and making every sound that came out of his mouth count. The spark in his deep grey eyes, and the way the sun would turn them into a light shade of blue sometimes. The way he used to sit next to him, legs crossed and one arm resting on the back of the seat behind Eren's back, more often than not brushing against his shoulders.

Eren could still remember the intimate moments they had shared, when he had laid his head on his friend's shoulder, looking up at the night sky. The time they had held each other's hand for the first time, both avoiding the other's gaze as if it would burst the bubble they had created around them. The first time they had held the other, their head gently resting on each other's shoulder, face turned to the other's neck, melting in each other's warmth and scent, arms firmly wrapped behind both of their back. The first time his lips had touched his, slowly and full of uncertainty, in an attempt to discover if the way they were feeling for each other went beyond friendship. It had been clumsy and brief, but also soft and warm, tasting like the chocolate they had eaten moments before, and his body had shivered from all the emotions that had been pilled up inside of him for so long.

In that moment they had knew, knew that their relationship could develop into something more, knew it could bloom into something they had never experienced but were ready to cultivate with time. But time had been what they had been missing and thus it never went past timid experimentation. Only a few days after, Eren was moving out of town and leaving behind him the only person who truly understood him and with him, his heart.

They had tried to stay in contact with each other, sending letters to keep in touch and calling to hear each other's voice. The longing Eren was feeling for his friend, who he had identified more as his lover then, had only grown and grown with each letter and hushed word on late evenings. Their long-distance relationship had worked for a few years, promises had been made to see each other again in the future, when they would be grown up. It worked until the end of high school, but then, after a long and lonely summer, Eren hadn't heard from him anymore. The letters he had sent had always come back to him, his calls never returned. His lover didn't own a cellphone because of the poor situation his family was in, and with the clues of his moving out, Eren had lost his only way to reach him.

In these four years of radio silence, Eren had kept on wondering if it meant that he had moved on. He was the only one in possession of the other's contact information, and yet he had never tried to reach him in the last few years. Maybe he had found someone else, maybe he had forgotten all about him or maybe he didn't want to talk to him anymore. Whatever his reasons were, it had broken Eren in more ways that he would ever admit. But now that he was standing there, in front of all the memories he still cherished, he could only feel warmth, fondness and yearning. Mixed in the middle of it he could also sense sadness, but it wasn't the same sadness that had gripped his stomach once he had realized he had been left behind. This one was softer, more tolerable, and made him realize how attached he was to these memories.

His eyes were beginning to water and he took it as his cue to stop reminiscing about the past and finally go home. He hadn't come to find answers. He had only wanted to figure his feelings out and order them in order to better move on with his life. He would always keep a special place in his heart for his lost lover, but he couldn't hold on to someone who was unattainable. It was too much to bear for his poor broken heart.

As he took a finger to his eyes to chase away the unshed tears and started to turn away from the scene in front on him, he noticed movement in the corner of his eyes which caught his attention. Leaning against a tree a few meters from him on his left, was a man. He was facing the same bench he had been looking at, and only his left profile was visible. He was wearing black slacks with an assorted suit jacket, and a white button-up shirt slightly open around his neck and reveling his collarbones. His skin was fairly pale and he was holding a cigarette between long and thin fingers, bringing it from time to time to his mouth to take a drag, holding it on his side while slowly blowing smoke, and then starting again. His lips were a light shade of pink, and his chin was slightly pointed, completed with a sharp jawline. His hair was as dark as his suit, black locks falling on his temple and stopping in the middle of his head, the nape of his neck shaved up to his ear in a clean undercut.

Eren was lost in his contemplation until he looked at the man's eyes and suddenly froze. He could recognize these silver eyes everywhere no matter how long it would be since the last time he saw them. Not matter how much muscles he would have gained, how his features would have sharpened, how he would have cut his hair, how he was dressed, the only constant in him would always be his eyes. The same eyes he had looked into countless times and had looked at him in return as if he was laying bare in front of them.

There was no doubt about it. It was the same person he had thought of during all those years, and had never forgotten about. It was the one that his heart had been longing to see again, that his body had yearned to hold one more time. It was the first one he had ever loved. The only one he had truly loved in his entire life. The one he still loved. His long-lost lover.

"Levi."

His voice had barely been a whisper, the word probably taken away by the wind without never reaching his target. Eren hadn't even realized he had said it until he could taste the two syllables roll on his tongue like a distant memory. He had wanted to say his name for so long, had wanted to savor the feeling of it passing through his lips again, but he had never allowed himself to until now.

The raven still hadn't noticed him and was slowly finishing his cigarette. He only started to get away from the tree once he had put the butt in a portable ashtray kept in the inner pocket of his jacket. His eyes were closed when he eventually turned around to face Eren, and it took all of his willpower not to run to him now and then. He needed to be sure he wouldn't be rejected before making his move. But once his lover finally opened his eyes again and looked at him, stopping dead on his tracks and his eyes widening in confusion and utter surprise, he couldn't suppress the tears he had been holding back anymore.

These grey eyes he had been missing so much were looking all over him, as if they were taking every inch of his body and features into consideration. A glimmer of recognition passed through the man's face and his lips were now parted due to the shock. Eren hadn't realized it but his body had slowly started making his way towards the raven, attracted to him like a magnet, but still trying to fight back the magnetism before he got a sign from him, anything to show that he had his permission to come closer.

The feeling of recognition was getting stronger by the seconds and when Eren looked into his eyes he knew he hadn't been forgotten. He knew that he was still living on in the man's heart, the same way he had always lived in his own. Their feelings were still the same pure and innocent ones they had shared through a kiss ten years ago, when they had known it was reciprocated. In this moment, they were back to their twelve-year old selves, like nothing had ever changed since then.

Eren's eyes were starting to sting and a few tears had made their way down his cheeks and were now falling from his chin. His smile was both fond and nervous, displaying the turmoil of emotions he was feeling in this instant.

Levi hold out his right hand in front of him, like he was trying to touch him and see if he was real, his own eyes starting to get watery and his lips mouthing his name in an agonizingly slow motion, and Eren had had enough. His legs had started to transport him further with more speed by the seconds, reducing the distance between them until it reached zero and his arms were now warped around the shoulders of the firm body he had missed so much. His face was buried in his black hair and he could smell a faint scent of shampoo mixed with the one of tobacco. It was a scent he wasn't used to, far from the fruity and sweet one he had once known, but still it was his and it was all he ever wanted to breathe from now on.

The man trapped in his arms didn't react for a few seconds, his body tense under his touch, but Eren could soon sense him relax and feel unsteady hands grip the back of his jacket. His face was buried in his chest and Eren could feel the short, uneven breaths that escaped his mouth. Eren's heart was beating so fast that he thought it was going to explode or even jump out of his chest. There was no way Levi couldn't heart it, considering his ear was literally pressed against the left part of his chest, and that didn't help decreasing his heartbeat. The brunet could feel his whole body shake from the outburst of emotions that were emanating from his every pore, tremors that were only amplified by the water coming out of his eyes in unending waves. At some point he couldn't even tell if the shaking he was feeling were his own or Levi's, but that only made his hold on the other tighten.

The feeling of holding him in his arms was both familiar and foreign. Their height difference, which hadn't been present in the past, made their position against one another different but the feeling wasn't unwelcomed. On the contrary, it was everything and anything Eren could have wished for. Levi fitted perfectly in his arms, as if they had been shaped especially for holding him, like two pieces of a puzzle finally coming together.

He hadn't thought he would be able to see him again, even less hold him tight against his own body. He had thought that even if they saw each other again they would only have grown apart, changed too much and wouldn't belong with each other. He had thought that the distance and the years that had separated them would have also separated their hearts.

But it was only the opposite. If only, time had brought them closer, increasing their need to be with each other. Their need to feel each other's warmth once again. Their need to never let the other go ever again. Being in his arms felt more like home than anything he had experienced thus far. It only felt natural, like it was the place he belonged to.

"I missed you."

He had missed him more than was even bearable. He had missed him with a force he didn't know was even possible. He had missed him like he was the only thing he needed in order to live, and as he heard a soft hum coming from the small frame buried in his arms, he could feel his lungs being filled with oxygen as if he was able to breath for the first time in years. It only made him tighten his grip even more, afraid to let go and go back to the days when he could only dream of holding him like this. He planted a kiss on the man's head as he tried to confirm his presence and dismiss the thought of everything being only a fantasy.

There were so many things he wanted to say, so many words that needed to be said, waiting for the day they could finally be free of the outer reaches of his brain. He had thought them countless time: during his loneliest night, during his darkest day, when the longing had been too overwhelming. They had burnt his tongue, clouded his mind, leaving indelible marks on his heart until the only thing he could think about was them. But he would keep them all buried in his heart, at least for now.

He had all the time in the world, would have multiple occasions to say them from now on. The possibilities that were laying in front of him were countless. It wasn't his only chance to say them, he could sense it. It could wait.

He could wait.

He had already waited all this time, what were a few hours, even days, compared to years?

He would say the most important of them all another time, for he only wanted to bask in the feeling of his arms warped around him, his scent filling his every sense, the sound of his low voice chanting his name resonating in his ears.

Yes, he had time now. There was no reason to rush. But still, deep inside of him, he couldn't stop thinking about those three words that were burned into his heart. He could feel them on the tip of his tongue as he tried as hard as he could to not let them spill out right here and then, not wanting to ruin the peaceful atmosphere that had been created around them, nor burst the bubble they had been able to create once again. He kept them in his mind, locked away in his heart, waiting for the day he would be able to say them and feel the way they would taste on his lips once they would leave his mouth. The day he would be able to hear them being said back.

I love you.