Title: Snape's Retching Victims
Author: Keahi
Rating: PG-13/Mild R
Warnings: PWP, Kinky/Squicky Pairings
Disclaimer: Are you kidding me? I own none of these characters. I'm not THAT smart! Oh but I do own the products of Filch and Harry's retching. (
Author's Notes: The idea for this story was given to me by my friend Erika. I just had the twisted mind to write it.
Snape's Retching Victims
"Filch!" Snape roared at the top of his lungs. Filch appeared out of nowhere from behind a large tapestry.
"What?"
"You know what I want." There was a vicious glint in Snape's black eyes.
"Oh, no- not again." Filch backed away from Snape, unsuccessfully, because Snape raised his wand and shouted "Petrificus!" Filch's arms and legs snapped together and Snape leaned over him, smiling wickedly.
"Now are you ready?"
"Yes." Filch whimpered and Snape said "Finite Incantatem" very quietly. Filch got up and walked into Snape's office. Snape followed Filch, prodding him with his own wand, and locked the door behind him.
"What d'you think they're doing?" Ron whispered to Harry and Hermione as they tiptoed past Snape's office, not wishing to be caught roaming the halls after hours.
"I'm not sure, but judging by the somewhat explicit sounds coming from in there, I'd say something quite nasty," Hermione replied.
"Sick," Harry added as they heard Snape scream something long and dirty.
"I'm going have a look," said Ron as he bent down to look through the keyhole. He came back up pale and slightly green. "Don't- look," he croaked. Immediately Harry and Hermione decided to see what it was.
"Oh my," said Hermione as she sank to the floor. Harry sat down beside her and leaned his head against the wall, willing himself not to throw up.
"Hey," Ron said, still not fully recovered, "What're they yelling about now? Listen." Something that sounded vaguely like "Potter's mine!"
"Oh my," Hermione said again. Harry looked quite sick by now, so she and Ron weren't in the least surprised when he started to make gagging noises.
"Uh oh," Hermione whispered when she distinctly heard Snape's voice say "Alohomora!" She and Ron tried valiantly to drag an extremely green Harry into hiding, but it was too late. Snape opened the door to find Harry retching all over the suit of armor placed right outside his office door, much like Filch was doing to the copper basin inside his office.
"Erm…hello," Snape said. All three fifth-years were extremely surprised, Snape was being almost civil to them. On the other hand, they tried not to laugh at him. Snape had gone paler than he even was normally, and then turned a shade of pink.
"Er…we'd better be going," said Hermione quickly, and she and Ron helped Harry to stand up and stagger drunkenly back to the Gryffindor common room.
"That was sick," Harry said as he lay on his bed. "I don't think I'll ever be able to look at Snape again."
"Oooh," said Ron, a twinkle in his eye, "Maybe we'll get to skip Potions for a while."
"I highly doubt that," said Hermione, "But that would be nice."
All three students found themselves asleep on Harry's bed hours later, after they'd had their own fun.
Author: Keahi
Rating: PG-13/Mild R
Warnings: PWP, Kinky/Squicky Pairings
Disclaimer: Are you kidding me? I own none of these characters. I'm not THAT smart! Oh but I do own the products of Filch and Harry's retching. (
Author's Notes: The idea for this story was given to me by my friend Erika. I just had the twisted mind to write it.
Snape's Retching Victims
"Filch!" Snape roared at the top of his lungs. Filch appeared out of nowhere from behind a large tapestry.
"What?"
"You know what I want." There was a vicious glint in Snape's black eyes.
"Oh, no- not again." Filch backed away from Snape, unsuccessfully, because Snape raised his wand and shouted "Petrificus!" Filch's arms and legs snapped together and Snape leaned over him, smiling wickedly.
"Now are you ready?"
"Yes." Filch whimpered and Snape said "Finite Incantatem" very quietly. Filch got up and walked into Snape's office. Snape followed Filch, prodding him with his own wand, and locked the door behind him.
"What d'you think they're doing?" Ron whispered to Harry and Hermione as they tiptoed past Snape's office, not wishing to be caught roaming the halls after hours.
"I'm not sure, but judging by the somewhat explicit sounds coming from in there, I'd say something quite nasty," Hermione replied.
"Sick," Harry added as they heard Snape scream something long and dirty.
"I'm going have a look," said Ron as he bent down to look through the keyhole. He came back up pale and slightly green. "Don't- look," he croaked. Immediately Harry and Hermione decided to see what it was.
"Oh my," said Hermione as she sank to the floor. Harry sat down beside her and leaned his head against the wall, willing himself not to throw up.
"Hey," Ron said, still not fully recovered, "What're they yelling about now? Listen." Something that sounded vaguely like "Potter's mine!"
"Oh my," Hermione said again. Harry looked quite sick by now, so she and Ron weren't in the least surprised when he started to make gagging noises.
"Uh oh," Hermione whispered when she distinctly heard Snape's voice say "Alohomora!" She and Ron tried valiantly to drag an extremely green Harry into hiding, but it was too late. Snape opened the door to find Harry retching all over the suit of armor placed right outside his office door, much like Filch was doing to the copper basin inside his office.
"Erm…hello," Snape said. All three fifth-years were extremely surprised, Snape was being almost civil to them. On the other hand, they tried not to laugh at him. Snape had gone paler than he even was normally, and then turned a shade of pink.
"Er…we'd better be going," said Hermione quickly, and she and Ron helped Harry to stand up and stagger drunkenly back to the Gryffindor common room.
"That was sick," Harry said as he lay on his bed. "I don't think I'll ever be able to look at Snape again."
"Oooh," said Ron, a twinkle in his eye, "Maybe we'll get to skip Potions for a while."
"I highly doubt that," said Hermione, "But that would be nice."
All three students found themselves asleep on Harry's bed hours later, after they'd had their own fun.