The Whole Hog

by Empress of the Eclipse

After several years, Matt moves back to Odiaba and meets up with Tai again and they quickly renew their old relationship. However, Matt has a secret that could tear them apart. TAITO!

The Whole Hog
Part of the 'Secrets and Lies' series
By the Empress of the Eclipse

Disclaimer - I don't own Digimon. Or Sonic the Hedgehog. Am not attracted to him. AM NOT! Oh bloody hell...

TAITO! TAITO! TAITO!

Matt's flat mates are the same people that I normally use for his band. They AREN'T his band in this though, and never were. 'Kay?

This is the first part of a series I'm going to write, 'Secrets and Lies', which will eventually deal with all the Digidestined and what happened to them. I don't think I'll like Episode 50 when I see it *shoots CITV schedulers* so I'm making my own version up! Right? If you're interested in the rest (which aren't written yet) they'll have S&L in the summary so you know the difference between them and other fics.


"Yes Mr Yagami? How can I help you?"
Tai smiled at Mr Sato.
"No help thanks," he said "Just a quick shop."
Mr Sato nodded and busied himself with his work. Tai began going round the store, automatically picking out the things that he would need for himself. It was strange; he kept reaching for items that he didn't need any longer and having to force his hand away.
'I'm a free man' he scolded himself 'Ayako and I have been separated for almost a month now. There's no need to mope.'
He couldn't help it though. He and Ayako had been together for four years and their divorce was not being a easy one, especially with the battle over custody rights with Hatsue. Tai wasn't giving up. He was going to see his daughter no matter what Ayako said.
"Can I help you sir?" he heard Mr Sato asking.
"No thanks," a voice replied "I think I can find my way around a shop."
"As you wish sir."
Tai frowned. That voice...
Glancing over his shoulder, he looked at the new-comer. He was standing by the fruit, his back to Tai. Tall, thin, elegant, blonde...
'That voice....could it be....?'
"Matt?" Tai said.
The figure looked round at him and Tai knew he was right. The blue eyes, the face...
"Matt!"
"Tai!"
Tai leaped over and hugged his friend, not caring if it would look strange to people. He couldn't believe it. He and Matt hadn't seen each other for over five years. Matt hadn't even been at his wedding, had only sent a congratulatory post card. That had been their last contact.
Not that that had surprised Tai. He knew exactly why Matt had not been thrilled at the idea of Tai getting married. The two of them had briefly been lovers when they were sixteen and while there had been no hard feelings when Tai had broken it off, (the relationship hadn't been going anywhere and Tai had wanted to explore his feelings for the opposite sex as well as his own) Tai had always known that his friend still had feelings for him.
"My God, where did you spring from?" Tai demanded "I though you were..."
He shrugged.
"Jesus, I had no idea where you were!"
Matt laughed.
"I've been everywhere!" he said with a laugh "All over Japan really. I moved back here a couple of days ago. I figured you'd have upped sticks and left aeons ago!"
Tai laughed.
"Are you kidding? Odiaba's my home, I don't want to leave here!"
Matt grinned.
"Should have figured you for a stay at home boy," he teased "There's Kari, off in...Africa isn't it?"
Tai nodded.
"Trust Kari," he said "Whizzing off to help people. I never thought she'd become a nurse."
Matt nodded.
"Things have worked out differently than we thought," he said, looking a little sad.
Then he grinned.
"So what about you? How's things with you and...Ayako right?"
Tai nodded.
"You had to ask," he said.
Matt looked at him.
"Why? What's up?"
"We're separating," Tai explained "We've been living apart for about a month now. It's not amicable."
Matt winced.
"Sorry I asked. Want to talk about it?"
"Not really," Tai said "Tell me about you. Girlfriend? Married?"
Matt gave him a look.
"Hardly," he said dryly.
Tai grinned good-naturedly, mentally berating himself for being an idiot. He might be bi but Matt was gay and had never shown interest in girls.
"Sorry," he said "Hey, I know. Let's buy whatever we need and then you can come round to my nice new flat and we can catch up on everything. Deal?"
"Not quite," Matt said "I have flat mates and they'll want their food. Bottomless pits."
"Flat mates?" Tai asked curiously "Anyone I know?"
"No," Matt said "Nice guys though. Gendo, Akemi, Toshiki and Istu. And no, I'm not."
'It's almost as though he knows me.' Tai thought dryly, closing his mouth. He'd been about to ask whether Matt was going out with any of them.
"And believe me, that's the truth," Matt said, his voice dry "No matter what Istu may try to tell you."
Tai blinked. Matt grinned.
"Explain in a minute," he said "Come on. Let's buy."
They bought everything fast, then walked out into the street together. Matt quickly scribbled his address and phone number down and gave it to Tai.
"We can go out for a drink some time," he said "Catch up then. I've lost contact with almost everyone; I'd love to catch up."
"No problems there!" Tai said "I'm a free agent after all! Well, mostly anyway. When are you free? Tonight?"
"Er...no," Matt said after a moment "Settling in and all that, you know. Maybe tomorrow?"
"Sure, that's fine," Tai said cheerfully "You call me or me call you?"
He handed Matt his card with his new phone number and address on.
"Whoever happens to do it first!" Matt said "See you soon Tai!"
He smiled, suddenly looking almost shy.
"It's nice to see you again. You look...great."
Tai felt himself blushing as Matt scampered off.
Matt was back in town. And he seemed to still appreciate Tai. Maybe...
Tai walked in a daze, so much so that he was half way to his old home before he remembered and had to do a quick about-turn to get to his new apartment.

* * * *

"Bought the food guys!" Matt yelled, opening the door "Blimey, this place is a tip already!"
"Hey, we haven't unpacked! Course it's messy!" Gendo Ikari said, leaning round a pile of boxes and grinning charmingly. He was fairly well built, with blonde hair in a short ponytail and blue eyes.
"And don't try to pretend you're perfect!" Toshiki Miyahara added "You haven't even touched your boxes! At least we've started!"
Toshiki was Gendo's opposite in looks, in some ways he reminded Matt of Ken. He was slender with black hair in a sort of pudding basin cut that actually looked like Ken's and emerald green eyes that looked happy but thoughtful too. There was always a feeling of being thoroughly looked at when Toshiki saw you.
"I've been shopping!" Matt protested.
"Did you get the chocolate?" Toshiki asked immediately "You know I need my chocolate!"
Matt laughed and handed it over.
"See chocolate," he said dryly "Like I'd forget your dietary needs Toshiki!"
Toshiki shrugged.
"Hardly my fault I'm addicted to chocolate," he said "Everyone has an addiction."
"And mine's Matt!"
Matt hastily put the bags down so he could fend off an Istu Katsuragi attack.
"Go away Istu," he said "There's eggs in these bags."
"Then give me a hug then, go on."
"No. Get off."
Istu grinned. He was the third member of the ensemble and was the bane of Matt's life, owing to the fact that he adored Matt and hit on him every minute of the day when they were together. Matt didn't actually mind all that much, it was often rather funny. But it was incessant which could be annoying. Istu had hazel eyes and (currently) his hair was a sort of blue-black colour.
"One day," he said to Gendo and Toshiki who exchanged looks.
"Where's Akemi anyway?" Matt asked, beginning to unpack the food "Not out on the pull ALREADY?"
Akemi Nakatsuru was the final member of their flat and was, as they all kindly put it, completely sex mad. Or, as Matt put it, just completely mad. He was black haired and hair sparkly dark eyes. He also had a tendency to exuding charisma which was bad for anyone he wanted to seduce.
"Nah," Toshiki said "He's ordering us a fast supper. We'll need one, we need to be gone soon."
Matt nodded.
"Good call."
Toshiki grinned.
"My idea."
Matt smiled and took Tai's card from his pocket. Going over to an already erected message board, he stuck it in.
"None of you are to touch that," he ordered.
Gendo looked.
"Taichi Yagami. Isn't he the one you mentioned? The one you were..."
"My best friend in high school," Matt said pointedly.
"Of course, how stupid of me," Gendo said dryly "So, you met him?"
Matt nodded with a grin.
"Yup. We're going to meet up sometime, catch up on everything."
"Just as long as you don't neglect your commitments," Istu said "Like say, me!"
"Sod you Istu."
"You wound me."
Matt laughed and went into his new bedroom to unpack some things while waiting for Akemi to arrive with food. The rooms had caused a small argument. It was a three bedroomed flat. Gendo and Toshiki were happy to share as they were dating. No one wanted to share with Akemi as he had a habit of bringing people home and expecting you to leave. Matt had refused to share with Istu under any costs. Eventually, Akemi had a room of his own and Matt and Istu were swapping every month. They'd both keep all their stuff in there and one of them would sleep on the sofa for a month, then take the bed. Toshiki had come up with the arrangement, partly because he was the only one who had remembered that the sofa folded out into a bed.
Toshiki, Matt thought, was very useful to have around sometimes.

* * * *

Tai phoned Matt the next day, unable to hold back any longer.
"Hello?" an unfamiliar sleepy-sounding voice said.
"Hi!" Tai said "My name's Taichi Yagami. I was wondering if I could talk to Matt?"
"Oh. MATT!"
"No!" Tai heard a voice call back.
"Matt's sleeping," the voice said "Give me a mo."
There was a pause, in which Tai heard odd thumps and bumps and a strangled yell. Then Matt was one the phone.
"Hey Tai."
"Did I call too early?" Tai said "It's 11:30."
"Up late last night," Matt explained "Sorry. Anyway, I'm still free tonight if you want to go for that drink."
"Sure do!" Tai said "I'll come and pick you up."
"Spoken like a true gentleman," Matt teased.
"Hey, I know all the good pubs!" Tai said "You don't!"
"Good point. See you around eightish?"
"That's fine with me!"
Tai hung up, trying not to jump up and down with glee. He hadn't realised quite how much he'd missed Matt until he'd seen him again. He certainly hadn't realised quite how good-looking Matt had got. He was beautiful, even better than he had been when he was younger. It should have been unfair that he was still so good-looking but Tai didn't exactly think it was because he could watch Matt whenever he wanted now.
He shook the thoughts away. He'd just broken up with his wife of four years, he didn't want to leap into a relationship with anyone, let alone another man. That wouldn't help his case with Hatsue one little bit!
But he was excited about tonight all the same.

* * * *

The door was answered by a man with dark, curly hair and a wicked grin that grew when his eyes fixed on Tai.
"Well, hello there!" he said cheerfully (and flirtatiously) "And who might you be?"
"I'm Tai," Tai said, unable to not blush. "Taichi Yagami."
"Oh yes," the man said "I'm Akemi, Matt's flat-mate."
"Or one of them," a dry voice said. Another man appeared behind Akemi. He had black hair too but it was straight and glossy "Did it not occur to you Akemi, that calling for Matt might be a good idea?"
"I was just getting to that," Akemi said, smiling "But..."
"Don't carry on with that sentance Akemi," the man said "MATT!"
Matt appeared. He smiled.
"Hey Tai! Akemi and Toshiki not annoying you I hope?"
"Oh no," Tai said.
"Good. Come on, let's go."
"Bye Matt!" Akemi said "Don't do anything I wouldn't go."
"Ah good," Matt said "I love going out with no inhibitions."
"What's he implying?" Akemi asked, grinning.
"Goodbye," Matt said "I have a key."
He closed the door before Akemi could say anything else.
"Nice guy," Tai said.
Matt snorted.
"Yeah, he is," he said "He's also a vivacious slut."
Tai laughed.
"Does he know you call him that?" he asked.
"We all do," Matt said "Even Akemi admits it. He IS a slut."
"And your other flat-mates?"
Matt shrugged.
"All nuts," he said "Gendo's fairly innocuous - at least on first glance. It's only when you get to know him that you realise he's more of a head-case than Akemi. Toshiki's weird. It's like he knows everything about anyone just by looking. He has a past does Toshiki. And Istu..."
He rolled his eyes.
"He has a massive family and came ninth in it. Means that he's always seeking attention and trying to stick out from the crowd. Also very needy. And insane."
"So you decided to share a flat with them," Tai said dryly.
Matt grinned sheepishly.
"Yeah, you could put it that way," he said "So where's this pub you're taking me to then?"
"This way," Tai said "Come on."
They reached the pub and settled down, ordering themselves something to drink. Matt grinned at Tai.
"So come on," he said "How's everyone doing? What's happened to the others?"
Tai shook his head.
"I can't believe you lost touch with EVERYONE," he said.
"Hey, I still talk to my brother!"
"Once in a blue moon," Tai said dryly.
Matt shrugged.
"Hey, I was never very good at writing letters," he said "So spill the beans!"
Tai grinned.
"Well, Sora's become a vet," he said.
"What? No!"
Tai nodded.
"She's good too," he said "It's only been recent, she's been getting the qualifications. But she's good at it. Izzy's doing computers. Designing, programming - who knows what? He's done some computer games too, under a pseudonym but he wouldn't tell me which ones. He's like you, hardly ever writes. Joe's a psychiatrist."
"NO! I thought he was going to be a doctor!"
"He was. You become a doctor, then a psychiatrist."
"I thought you had to be a doctor for ten years or something," Matt said.
Tai shrugged.
"Don't ask me. I just know what Joe's told me. He's in charge of his own department and you'll never guess who's under him."
Matt wrinkled his forehead, pretending to be thinking really hard. Tai grinned.
"Ken!"
"Ken! Seriously? He's a psychologist?"
Tai nodded.
"Laughed my head off when he told me," he admitted "You have to admit, Ken's not the most balanced person in the world."
"Still," Matt said "If he thinks he has something to offer the world then good on him! He and Yolei got married didn't they?"
Tai nodded.
"At eighteen. First child - a little girl, Umeko - came VERY quickly after, she was pregnant when they married. And Yolei had another one very fast. A little boy called Makato. They've just had a third child, another boy Akio. Yolei was delighted. I'm not so sure Ken was though. He sounded...odd when I last spoke to him on the phone. Yolei says it's too many sleepless nights but I'm not so sure."
Matt nodded slowly.
"Wow," he said "Three children by 21. That's....major. No wonder Ken might be freaking a bit. I know I would be. Children scare me a little, especially young ones. Not rational enough."
Tai shrugged, thinking of Hatsue.
"I suppose so," he said.
"Does anyone else have any kids?" Matt asked.
Tai could feel himself blushing.
"Just me," he said.
"YOU!"
Tai nodded.
"A one year old daughter, Hatsue," he said "Ayako has her right now. We're fighting over visitation rights. She doesn't want me to see Hatsue as much as I want to see her. It's a little nasty."
"You poor thing."
Matt's look was very sympathetic. He touched his friend's arm.
"You should have said, I'd have been more tactful. It must be rough."
Tai nodded.
"It is a little," he said "But I don't really want to go into it. It's...raw."
Matt nodded.
"How's Davis?" he asked quickly, trying to draw the subject away from children. He didn't want to hurt Tai any more than he already had; it was plain from the look on Tai's face that the wounds were very much open and had enough salt in already without Matt adding some more.
"Not sure," Tai said, the pained look leaving his face to be replaced with a slightly confused one "He sounds cheerful enough in his letters but...well some of the things he says hint to me that he maybe doesn't have much of a job."
"He didn't do well with his qualifications, did he?" Matt asked slowly, trying to remember. TK had told him but...
"No," Tai said "He did pass a couple but...well, most of it wasn't good."
Matt frowned.
"Poor Davis. No girlfriend or anything?"
"No one," Tai said "I asked him if he was thinking of anyone and he said no."
Matt frowned again.
"Don't worry," Tai said reassuringly "You know Davis. He'll land on his feet."
"I hope so," Matt said.
"So anyway, what about you?" Tai asked "What job do you do?"
For a second or so, he saw a flicker of something cross Matt's face. He couldn't identify it. Then it was gone and Matt was smiling properly again.
"This and that," he said lazily "You know - nothing interesting."
"Unemployed?" Tai teased him.
"Course not! Just...incredibly boring."
"What?"
"Oh..."
Matt then changed the subject, so skilfully and speedily that Tai didn't realise until later that he hadn't really answered the question. The two of them kept talking for hours, talking about what had happened to them both in the years they'd been parted.
"Why didn't you write to me anyway?" Tai asked "I couldn't write to you any more, I didn't have your address!"
"I just never got round to it," Matt confessed "I kept meaning to and then things happened and I just couldn't. I am sorry."
"You're just inconsiderate," Tai teased him "I've missed you you know."
Matt grinned.
"Me too."
The two of them grinned at each other for a moment, then Tai quickly changed the subject, feeling embarrassed. Matt seemed happy to let this happen and the two talked for hours about everything that they wanted to catch up on.
"I have to go," Tai eventually said regretfully "I have work tomorrow."
"What's your work by the way?" Matt said "I never asked."
Tai rolled his eyes.
"Car salesman."
"You? Are you any good at it?"
Tai snorted.
"You are looking at the champion," he said "Want a car?"
"Me? I'm broke," Matt replied "Anyway, we use Gendo's van."
"Gendo has a van? What's it like?"
"Black with pink stars," Matt said.
"WHAT?"
"Trust me," Matt said dryly "That's GOOD for Gendo. Last time it was orange with blue and green flowers all over it."
"Say no more, I don't want to know!" Tai said with a snicker "Okay. I'll walk you home."
Matt allowed himself to be escorted home, hoping that his friends hadn't invited anyone over or something stupid. It would be just typical of all of them. Fortunately, they hadn't.
"Goodnight Tai," Matt said, suddenly feeling unaccountably shy "It was great seeing you again."
Tai nodded.
"You too. I'll...call you tomorrow?"
Matt nodded. Impulsively, he ducked his head and kissed Tai on the cheek, so close as to nearly be on the lips before quickly going inside. Tai looked after him, blinking owlishly for a few minutes before going off into the dark.

* * * *

"Hey, the wanderer returns!"
"How'd it go Matt?"
"Did you get a kiss out of him?"
"Did you betray me?"
Matt threw his coat at Akemi, waved at Toshiki and Gendo and ignored Istu completely on his way to the bedroom (which he currently inhabited). Closing the door, he flopped onto the bed and lay there, frowning at the ceiling (which he couldn't help noticing, had cracks that looked suspiciously like Sonic the Hedgehog on)
Tai. What was going on there? Matt had been devastated when Tai had broken off their relationship all that time ago and had been rather bitter about it for a quite a long while. Seeing him again...well, it wasn't like in all those romances, where people compared it to a bomb going off. But it had been quite intense. And being out with him tonight...
Matt sighed. Did he want to renew their relationship? And more importantly, did Tai? Tai was recovering from a painful break up and had a daughter to fight for as well. It was possible that the last thing he wanted was to join up in a relationship with anyone, let alone another man whom he had already broken up with once.
And then there was the small matter of his work...
Matt bit his lip. Scrambling up, he went and looked out of the window, at the glittering lights of the city spread out before him, each one representing someone's life. A long ago conversation with Tai was playing in his mind.

"C'mon Tai, please! I'll arrange a really good party for you!"
"No, no, no and no Matt. Last year, you and Davis had the 'bright' idea of booking a stripper!"
"We thought you'd enjoy it! We can't help it if you're maladjusted!"
"Strippers are disgusting Matt! It's seedy and sordid and....just...well...immoral to book someone to take their clothes off for you! It's perverted! And what kind of person does that anyway? No way, no strippers near ME thanks!"

Matt leaned his head on the cool window glass and sighed, his breath fogging up the window. Tai had always been stubborn, he somehow doubted that view would have changed.
How could he possibly tell Tai that he was a stripper?

* * * *

Tai sat at home, his legs drawn up, thinking.
Matt. The first person that he'd ever gone to bed with. Someone who'd been devoted to him, his best friend ever. They'd been through so much together and Tai still considered Matt to be the person who knew him best in the whole world.
He looked at the small photo of Hatsue that he kept beside his bed and frowned. If Ayako found out that he was in any sort of relationship with another man then she'd try harder to keep Hatsue away from him.
But was he getting ahead of himself? Matt had only given him a kiss on the cheek. That didn't have to lead to anything at all. No relationship, nothing.
Did it?
Tai scowled. He decided that he was phoning Matt in the morning for some straight talk. What did Matt want, did it fit with what Tai wanted...?
'Great' he thought wryly 'Only back two days and Matt's already confusing my life. At least some things never change!'

* * * *

Matt was out when Tai rang. The phone was answered by a sleepy-sounding Toshiki, who assured Tai that he'd tell Matt as soon as Matt got in. Tai then spent the rest of the day nervously biting his fingernails and worrying, then getting annoyed at himself for acting like a teenager. Eventually, Matt called.
"Hey Tai, how's it going?"
"Great," Tai croaked "Erm Matt, we need to talk."
"Er...that doesn't sound good."
Tai laughed a little shakily.
"Sorry. I just...I need to talk to you okay?"
"Can you do it over the phone or do we need to meet up?"
Tai considered.
"I guess we can talk over the phone," he said eventually "I just...Matt I..."
He paused, trying to find the right words.
"Matt, I'm getting divorced," he said eventually "And it's not that I don't feel for you or anything but I need to think about this. I'm not trying to say that you're going to jump at me or anything because I know you won't but...I need to know what you want and I need to see that it meshes with what I want."
He started kicking the wall. Of all the dumb things to say! Now he sounded a complete moron. Matt sounded slightly amused.
"Okay Tai," he said "I understand what you mean and believe me, I don't want to hurt you."
"So...you do want to...pick up where we left off?" Tai said awkwardly.
"I'm not saying I'm against the idea but if that's not what you want, then I'm happy to be just friends," Matt said, his voice sounding calm and reasonable.
Tai nodded to himself slowly. He'd suspected Matt would say something like that. It was what people always said and Tai wasn't sure that he believed Matt 100% on this remark.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"Of course I am," Matt said "Tai, I...look, I just want you to be happy. And I know that you're just divorced and heck, you've got a kid! I don't want to make things harder for you."
Tai grinned.
"Thanks," he said, leaning against the wall "You're a pal Matt."
"Of course I am. I'm wonderful."
Tai laughed.
"Tai," Matt said, his voice sounding nervous "Do...do you want...us to be in a relationship again?"
Tai paused. He wasn't sure what to say. He did but...but he was afraid...
"Tai? Are you still there?"
"Yes," Tai said "I mean...yes I am. And...well..."
He swallowed.
"Let's take it slowly okay?" he said "You know...just see each other every now and then."
"Sure. Sounds great!"
"See you Tai."
"Bye Matt!"
Tai hung up and grinned, suddenly feeling very happy.

* * * *

Matt hung up the phone and leaped into the air with a delighted shriek.
"YEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAA!"
"What? What on earth is going on?"
His flatmates leaned out of the living room and gawped at him as Matt danced up and down delightedly.
"Tai wants to go out with me again! Tai wants to go out with me!"
He neglected the fact that they were only 'sort of' going out with each other.
"Good for you," Toshiki said "Stop shrieking."
"Matt!" Istu said, sounding offended "You're going out with him? What about me?"
"Er let me think," Matt said dryly "I don't LIKE you? Yes, that might have something to do with it!"
"But why don't you like me?" Istu said, sounding confused. "I live with me every day and I know that I'm lovely, I'm completely lovely!"
Matt shook his head and grinned.
"Weirdo," he said.
He went into the living room with them and watched the TV, completely unable to concentrate. Through his happiness, a slow feeling of uneasy was uncurling in his stomach.
Okay, he and Tai weren't exactly going out as in going out. But they were beginning a relationship again. Only Matt was lying to him...
'Not lying' he thought 'He hasn't really asked. I mean, he asked but he didn't push it...'
He knew that he was using Akemi-type excuses for this and that - considered the way that Akemi's problems worked out - was an very bad thing.
"Toshy," he said "Can I have a word?"
Toshiki grinned. Whenever any of the troupe had a problem, they always appealed to Toshiki for help. He was the 'insightful' one.
"Come on then," he said.
They went into Matt/Istu's room. Matt sat on the bed, Toshiki went over to the window.
"So what's up?" he asked.
Matt sighed.
"Tai....doesn't like strippers," he said eventually.
"Ah."
Toshiki's voice was neutral-sounding but Matt knew that he was already thinking very quickly about the situation.
"He doesn't know I'm a stripper yet," Matt confessed "And...well...I don't think he'd take it very well."
"No."
"Advice please?" Matt said hopefully.
Toshiki looked out of the window, the lights reflecting on his face. He frowned.
"Matt, you have to tell him and face the music," he said "That's the only thing for it."
"Cause these things always come out yeah?" Matt muttered.
"No," Toshiki said slowly "Some secrets can be kept but this one isn't one of them. It's your job and it's not exactly low-profile. People have seen you naked all over the place. And all it would take would be one person to have seen you stripping and Tai will know. And if you haven't told him, he'll be very, very angry."
Matt sighed and looked away, at his hands on the bedspread.
"But...but if I tell...if I tell Tai...what if he wants nothing to do with me? What then?"
"Count your blessings," Toshiki said with a shrug.
"Oh thank you very much!" Matt snapped.
Toshiki held out his hands innocently.
"I can only help you if you listen," he said "You can glower at me if you like, maybe I'm being a know-it-all - but that's my advice. Take it or leave it."
"You ARE a know-it-all," Matt muttered grumpily.
Toshiki snorted softly.
"So you all say," he pointed out "But you still run to me whenever you have any problems!"
He gripped Matt's shoulder briefly before going out. Matt sighed and lay flat on the bed, thinking. Toshiki was rarely wrong when he dished out advice - in fact, Matt couldn't remember ever being wrong. Well, except that time when he'd thought it would be a nice idea to take one of Istu's sets of nieces and nephews swimming. They'd lost one, nearly drowned another and made three of them sick. Since then, they'd stuck to Akemi's idea which was "Shove them in room with telly and ignore them. Parents will soon come and take them away."
Matt allowed himself a small grin, then wiped it away and kept thinking. Toshiki might be right, it didn't make it any easier to follow his advice. He and Tai were just becoming friends again. He didn't want him to freak out now...
'I'll wait a little longer' he told himself 'Just until we're on a surer footing together. Then I'll explain. If I do it right, he'll understand.'

* * * *

The next day, Tai called at the flat unexpectedly. Akemi opened the door and grinned.
"Hi."
Tai blinked. Akemi was wearing a T-shirt that said 'Hi, I'm a stripper! Call me!' and had a phone number underneath.
"Is Matt there?" Tai managed.
"Probably," Akemi said "Matt? Are you there?"
"Of course I'm here you twat," Matt said, emerging "Oh - hey Tai."
Tai grinned.
"I was wondering if you wanted to come out for lunch," he said.
"Sure!" Matt said promptly "Bye you guys."
"Remember what I said Matt!" Toshiki yelled.
"Yeah whatever! Bye!"
Matt quickly closed the door and grinned.
"Hey Tai."
"Nice T-shirt Akemi had," Tai said.
Matt blushed a little and looked awkward.
"Akemi's a prat," he said "He wears it to pick up girls. He gets people to call, then says the troupe's been split up and offers them a date as a consolatory prize."
"And that works?" Tai said.
"Sometimes," Matt said dryly "So where are you taking me?"
Tai took him to a pub. They ordered their food and sat there talking for hours. Tai began to relax, feeling safe. Perhaps all his worries were unfounded. Matt seemed to have changed since he'd known him before. He was quieter, more thoughtful. His smile was softer. But the rest of him was the same. He was still cheerful, still as determined to be right...and still as beautiful.
Tai grinned.
"What's it like to have a daughter?" Matt asked him suddenly.
Tai frowned, thinking.
"It's incredible," he said slowly "When she appeared...well, it's not like everyone says, where you see the baby and say that it's the most beautiful thing ever. In fact I thought she was a horrible red scrunched up thing. But then she got cleaned up and relaxed and I realised that she was a beautiful child. Or she would be. She's no angel. She screams and doesn't sleep well. But I hate being without her."
He looked at his plate, swallowing.
"Ayako doesn't want me to see her," he said "Right now I can see her once every two weeks. Ayako's threatening to get it cut down. I'm fighting the order but...but I don't know what I'll do if she makes me stay away from her."
He was shocked to find tears in his eyes and quickly wiped them away.
"Once you've got one, you can't live without them!" he said, trying to make it a joke.
Matt leaned over and gripped Tai's hand.
"Don't worry Tai," he said "You won't lose. You're a responsible member of the community who sells cars to people. Do you earn a lot of money?"
"A fair bit," Tai said "I'm not rolling in it - but I'm certainly not poor."
"There you are then," Matt said triumphantly "You are not going to have your daughter taken away from you."
"But how do you know?" Tai asked.
"Listen," Matt said "When my parents separated, the custody battle was heinous. But they were fair. They gave me to dad and TK to mum. They arranged that we should see each other each parent at arranged times. The only reason this went wrong is because Mum and Dad were too busy to care."
A look of bitterness crossed his face but then was gone.
"You'll never allow that to happen," he said "And Ayako won't be able to stop you. Trust me. You'll be fine."
Tai put his hand on top of Matt's.
"Thanks," he said "You're a great guy Matt. I've really missed you."
Matt grinned.
"Me too," he said "Missed you I mean, not me."
Tai started laughing and Matt grinned as he watched him. It made him feel somewhat less embarrassed and worried.
His job was lurking like a dark shadow in the back of his mind.
Tai walked him home after the lunch was finished. Loud music was playing.
"Oh boy," Matt said "Okay Tai, you may want to avoid me when you have your custody battle. I may be bad for you image!"
Tai laughed. Then he leaned down and kissed Matt very firmly on the lips. Matt was startled, but responded eagerly. Tai then drew back.
"Like hell am I staying away," he said softly "You go in and subdue your flatmates. I'll see you tomorrow for lunch - unless you're working?"
"No," Matt said "I'm not."
"Good," Tai said "Then come to my house at the same time as I came for you today and I'll cook us something. But don't expect a gourmet meal, it'll probably be baked beans on toast!"
Matt laughed and repaid the favour, kissing Tai firmly before pushing him away.
It was only afterwards that Tai realised that he STILL didn't know what Matt's job was.
Matt walked into the flat. Gendo, Akemi and Istu were practising their routine. Toshiki was busy correcting their steps.
"Hi," Matt said waving "Can we turn the music down?"
Toshiki nodded.
"Coat off, join in," he ordered "We've got a booking for tomorrow, we need to be perfect."
"What about you?" Matt said indignantly, obeying Toshiki's instructions "You might be crappy and let the side down!"
"I'm always perfect," Toshiki said.
It should have sounded like boasting but it didn't. Mainly because it was true. Matt didn't know how Toshiki managed to stay so well in tuned with his steps. He just had a good rhythm Matt supposed.
"Okay," Toshiki said "Off you go."

* * * *

The next day at lunch, Matt arrived slightly late at Tai's apartment, grinning sheepishly.
"Sorry," he said "Toshiki and I got into a debate, you wouldn't BELIEVE how much that guy can argue!"
Tai snorted.
"If he's anything like you then I do!" he said "Come on in."
Tai's apartment was small and messy but there was something cheerful about it. Tai had stuck pictures all over the walls, posters of films, articles from magazines...but mainly pictures of his friends and daughter.
"That's Hatsue," Tai said, noticing Matt looking "Lovely isn't she?"
Matt looked at the picture thoughtfully.
"I suppose," he said slowly "I mean...well, you know I'm not a baby expert..."
Tai laughed.
"Sorry it's a mess," he said "Normally I'd clean up but you're just...you."
"Flaming cheek!" Matt said, give Tai a mock-glower "Some people have a nerve!"
Tai shrugged.
"And some even have more than one!" he teased "Go on. Sit down and I'll provide the meal."
"I hope you've remembered that I only eat salmon and champagne for lunch," Matt teased.
"Hmmm...." Tai said, pretending to look "Well, we're all out of salmon but fishfingers will do right?"
"Fishfingers and champagne?" Matt said. The thing was, he could imagine Tai serving that.
"What about fishfingers and coke? That do?"
Matt cracked up laughing at the idea of comparing champagne to coke. Tai grinned at him.
"Well, they both bubble!" he said defensively.
Matt was surprised - and highly amused - when the meal turned out to be fishfingers and coke. Tai served it up dramatically, pretending to be a very snooty waiter. Matt accepted it in the same style, and then they both fell about laughing. Things didn't seem to have changed between them all that much.
But the photo of Hatsue kept on catching Matt's eye, reminding him uncomfortably that they were NOT teenagers any longer and that Tai had responsibilities that Matt hadn't - and probably never would - experience.
Unless of course he and Tai worked out and Tai got custody of Hatsue...
The idea made Matt shudder involuntarily. Children scared him. He remembered years of taking care of TK, of worrying about him, and then the feeling of rejection when TK had no longer needed him, a feeling that had pushed him into deep depression. And having them full time since babies...that would be worse. Then there was the teaching them values, keeping them safe, making sure they were good people...
"Matt? Are you okay?"
Matt blinked.
"What? Oh yes," he said "Yes, I'm fine."
"Are you listening to me?" Tai asked.
Matt nodded.
"Course I am," he said "Go on Tai."
Tai gave him a look and started again, knowing that Matt hadn't been listening. This time, Matt banished the thought of babies and listened to Tai attentively.
After all, there was no guarantee that there was any need to worry anyway, was there?

* * * *

It was exactly two months later when Tai phoned Matt up, nearly exploding with excitement.
"Matt! Matt! Guess what, guess what, guess what?!"
"I'm not Matt, I'm Gendo," a rather grumpy voice said "And you just permanently damaged my hearing."
Tai seriously doubted this was possible; the music he could hear beating behind Gendo was anything but soft.
"Can I speak to Matt then please?"
"Matt! It's the old ball and chain!"
Tai blinked at this new nickname. He heard Matt yell something at Gendo, then pick up the phone as the music went (somewhat) quieter.
"Hey Tai."
"Matt, I've done it!" Tai yelled "I've done it! Ayako has backed down and arranged proper visiting schedules! I'll be able to see my daughter! I've done it!!!!!"
"That's brilliant Tai!" Matt said, his voice sounding warm "Well done!"
"You'll be able to meet her!" Tai said "I can't wait! You'll adore her, I know you will! She's so sweet...she's coming on Friday so you can meet her then!"
"Er...okay."
Tai was so happy, he didn't notice the distinctly unenthusiastic note in Matt's voice.
"She's too young to stay over-night yet, at least, that's what Ayako says, and I don't mind. Ayako's promised that when she's two, she can start spending alternate weekends with me. And I'll see her every week! I wish I knew what made Ayako change her mind, she's suddenly gone so nice! It's incredible!"
Matt laughed softly.
"Perhaps she just saw sense," he said "People are like that sometimes. A little time apart and they stop being so bitter and decide to be fair. I wish that had happened with my parents."
"Yeah," Tai agreed. But he was too happy to dwell on Matt's unhappy childhood for long and went back to bubbling "My own daughter! Every week! Oh God, I can't wait for Friday. Oh and then on Saturday, the lads at work are FORCING me at knife-point out for a party. One of their birthdays. His wife is setting it up for him and she says that we can bring a date or friend so do you want to? Come I mean?"
He heard Matt mutter something that sounded suspiciously like "Oh, I want to come all over you." but then he said "I don't think I can. I might be working."
"On a Saturday?"
"Hey, my job keeps odd hours!" Matt said, sounding defensive.
"What is your job?" Tai asked, for about the millionth time.
"Nothing important," Matt said "Look, I have to go. Toshiki wants to call his girlfriend or something and he's pointing this semi-automatic at me and I want to live to at least 35."
"Okay," Tai said, once he was done laughing at the vision of Matt at gun-point "See you Friday then!"
"See you Friday."
Matt hung up, face creased in a frown. He walked back into the living room and sat down slowly. The others had given up practising and were lying around.
"So did Tai have good news?" Toshiki asked.
"Oh - yeah," Matt said disinterestedly, lost in his thoughts.
"I expect he's excited about having Hatsue in the house," Toshiki said "She's a sweet little baby, isn't she?"
"I gu - WHAT?"
Matt looked at Toshiki.
"How would YOU know?"
Toshiki's green eyes held a sparkle of mischief that was almost sinister.
"Well, I just happened to be out clubbing...you know how it is," he said "And I just happened to meet this woman called Ayako Yagami and I just happened to get taken back to her apartment and meet her baby and we just happened to sleep together and I just happened to mention how my parents had split up and I'd never seen my father and how it had blighted my childhood..."
"That's nothing LIKE your childhood you liar!" Matt yelled as the rest of the flat-mates started laughing.
"Okay," Toshiki said "So I may have bent the truth..."
"Distorted it out of all recognisable form!"
"...but hey, the results were good. Now Tai's happy and when she's older, Hatsue will be happy."
Toshiki grinned.
"Smiles all round."
Matt was struck - not completely for the first time - at how manipulative Toshiki could be when he wanted to be. Going off and seducing someone, just so you could convince them to let their ex-husband see the baby...there was something very wrong with those ethics. But at that moment, he pushed the feeling away. It wasn't important.
"I wish you hadn't meddled!" he said fiercely "That damn baby!"
The group looked at each other. Toshiki frowned.
"What's wrong?" he asked curiously.
Matt groaned and put his head in his hands, staring at the white carpet. Why it had had to be white he hadn't known. They'd arrived and there it was, a shaggy white carpet. Furniture had already been strategically moved several times to cover stubborn stains that ignored what it said on the bottle, and would not be removed by any cleaner. Akemi's suggest of mixing all the different solutions had been ignored, generally because Toshiki suspected that this would create a solution that would stain the carpet even more. Suggestions of acid had also been ignored, mainly because they ALL suspected that this would lead to disintegration of the carpet.
"Matt?"
"I don't like children," Matt said in a muffled whisper "I hate children. They rely on you and they cry and they make a mess and then they get ill and you're completely helpless and then they get older and turn into rat-bags and you realise you've failed in your job at life."
He knew his friends were exchanging looks over his back and didn't care all that much. He was glad to have voiced his feelings to SOMEONE and now maybe they'd come up with something to help him.
"Have you told Tai this?" Toshiki asked.
"No, of course not!" Matt said "How can I possibly tell Tai that I'm scared of his daughter?"
"You don't have to say it quite like that," Toshiki said "And he'll understand. Just like he understood about your job..."
Matt groaned again and tried to shrink even lower into the sofa.
"You haven't told him," Toshiki stated.
"Er...no."
Toshiki clouted him round the head with the nearest cushion. Matt grimaced.
"The time hasn't been right!" he said defensively.
"Oh marvellous," Gendo said "You mean he doesn't even know?"
"Nope," Matt said with a sigh "He doesn't have an inkling."
"And you lot say I get into trouble!" Akemi said admiringly.
Toshiki clouted him with the cushion. Matt suspected that the reason Toshiki kept so many cushions around was so he could clout them with them when they were annoying him.
"Matt," he said with a sigh "You and Tai need to have a conversation."
"I know, I know," Matt said "We need to work out what we want to do next, blah, blah, blah. Especially now we're getting serious. But...I don't want to freak him out!"
Istu snuggled up and gave him a hug.
"Don't worry Matt," he said "Tai would have to be crazy to drop you because of your job! But if he is, you know where to find me!"
"Yeah," Matt said "In my room. It's your turn on the couch!"
Istu gave him a mock-hurt look.
"Couldn't I just share with you....?"
"No."
Toshiki sighed. Matt had neatly distracted everything away from a conversation about what he was going to do. He was very good at that. Toshiki suspected that Matt had learned this from Toshiki himself as this was something that Toshiki practised and had an expertise at. It didn't stop him wishing that his friends wouldn't do it. He knew that Matt was going to keep avoiding all his problems with Tai until they spilled out and that was bound to come at a disastrous time.
But there was nothing more he could do about it now. Matt had chosen his path and it was his to follow.
"Right you guys!" Toshiki yelled "We have a performance on Saturday! Let's get going!"
The group scrambled up from the chairs and prepared to practise. Toshiki settled back to watch them.

* * * *

On Friday, Matt knocked with at Tai's door with great trepidation. Tai opened the door and grinned.
"Matt! Come on in!"
Before Matt could even say hello, Tai had pulled him into the bedroom and he was standing by a cot, staring down at a sleeping baby.
Hatsue had very fair hair, almost certainly inherited from Ayako. Her face was chubby and at that moment, she was smiling peacefully as she slept. Tai very carefully lifted her up.
"Here," he said to Matt "Hold her."
Matt gulped, trying not to reveal his trembling. Slowly and carefully, he took Hatsue in his arms and stared down at her peaceful face. Her eyes opened, revealing them to be a soft brown, just like Tai's. Then they closed again and she settled.
"Isn't she perfect?" Tai said.
"Y-yes," Matt stammered "I...I suppose so."
God what if he dropped her? Or if she started crying? What would he do? Nervously, Matt offered her back to Tai.
"Don't be silly!" Tai said with a grin "Hold her longer!"
Swallowed, Matt sat himself down on the bed, holding Hatsue as carefully as he could, gnawing on his lower lip. She was a beautiful baby...but God, she was so tiny. So helpless...
Eventually Tai took her off him and tucked her back in her cradle. He then took Matt out to make him some lunch.
"I got the day off," he explained merrily "Because of Hatsue. Isn't this just fantastic Matt?"
Matt looked at the shining face and star-filled eyes and couldn't upset them by explaining his fears. He grinned and nodded.
"Of course it is," he said "It's utterly fantastic and you're a lucky guy!"
"I'm lucky all right," Tai said "Even luckier because I've got you."
Matt blushed.
"Don't go all sappy!" he retorted "It doesn't suit you!"
Tai laughed and served Matt his lunch.
"Want to stay with me all day?" he said hopefully "We can watch TV...play with Hatsue when she's more awake...please?"
"Sure," Matt said "You know I love staying with you."
They ended up curled up on the sofa watching TV and making fun of everything on. They found themselves watching Jerry Springer and insulting the people that went on it.
"Why do they go on?" Tai asked "I mean, they must know when the person says "Let's go on the Jerry Springer Show!" that it must be bad news!"
"True," Matt said thoughtfully "Maybe they think it'd be easier if it comes out on telly."
"Oh yeah," Tai said sceptically "With your friends and family and colleagues watching? I don't THINK so."
Matt snorted and snuggled up to his friend.
"Shut up Tai," he said peaceably.
Tai grinned.
"Make me."
"Is that a challenge?" Matt enquired, before wriggling up and kissing Tai hungrily. The TV forgotten, they lost themselves in the others kisses, arms wrapping round each other, holding the other close. When Matt started to take it further, Tai didn't resist. He was warm and happy and loved and eager to reacquaint himself with parts of Matt that he hadn't felt for a long while.
It was a long time before Tai or Matt said anything else to each other.

* * * *

That night, Matt lay in bed fretting.
He and Tai were DEFINITELY serious. The sex had been...gentle. Tender. It hadn't been sex, they'd made love. Matt wasn't sure if he'd ever made love before, it had all been sex, varying from how it happened but that had been different from anything he'd ever done. Matt wasn't sure that he was entirely happy. It made him more nervous than ever.
Tai was getting divorced. He had a one year and a few months old baby to care for. That last thing he needed was a gay boyfriend who was a stripper.
But Matt didn't think he could give Tai up. Touching Tai like that...it reminded him of all those times years ago. It made him realise that he was in way over his head. His affection for Tai had already peaked and he knew that he loved the brunette deeply. But if their relationship was to be successful, Matt was going to have to be honest.
He heard the faint sound of Toshiki crying out in his sleep, caught in the grip of one of his many nightmares, and the sound of Gendo tenderly soothing him. Their relationship had it's trials and difficulties, Matt knew that only too well. Yet it was a solid relationship and a happy one. Gendo and Toshiki had been together for almost five years now and they'd known each other before that. There were few - if any - secrets between them and that was why they were so happy together.
'I'll tell him on Monday' Matt told himself firmly 'No more shirking. On Monday, I'll tell Tai the truth. He'll understand. He has to.'

* * * *

Tai had changed in many ways since he was young. But one thing that hadn't changed at all was his love of being the centre of attention. He also loved parties. So being in a birthday party and being noisy were activities that made him quiet happy. Luckily, his work-mates were used to this and found it amusing as they sat in the pub, celebrating Akihiko Kuso's birthday. His wife, Wakana seemed excited about something and kept vanishing off somewhere.
"She's got a surprise for me," Akihiko said, sounding worried.
"Isn't that a good thing?" Tai said.
"You don't know what he did for HER birthday!" another work-mate said.
Tai raised a questioning eyebrow. Akihiko sighed.
"I booked her a stripper," he said.
"And her problem was...?" Tai asked, hiding his own reactions carefully. He knew if his workmates found out that he detested stripping and strippers, they'd never let him forget it.
"Well, not very good," Akihiko said "It was a female stripper."
Tai snorted.
"WHAT?"
"Well it was a sort of accident!" Akihiko protested "I said it was for MY party and I think that we just worked at cross purposes from there on in! So I think that Wakana's going to be revenged!"
Tai grinned, privately deciding that he was definitely, DEFINITELY not sticking around for the stripper. He hated strippers. It was sordid and pathetic. Surely no one could EVER be that desperate for money? They did it because they liked the cheep thrill and wanted to be popular and that was the sole reason. No, Tai wasn't sticking around to watch ANY stripper.
Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way. Because Wakana dragged them all into a strip-club. A MALE strip club.
"My wife," Akihiko said dryly over the noise of several hundred screaming women "Believes in getting revenge GRAND style!"
"No kidding," Tai muttered moodily, trying to hide himself. God, this was embarrassing. Not only that, it was against his principles. The last thing he wanted was to see a bunch of guys ripping off their clothes for shrieking ladies.
He heard the announcer yelling the name of the troupe that were coming on and groaned softly. The others all looked a mixture of embarrassed and amused. Only Tai had a real problem. Of course, he was the only one against the principle of the damn thing. As the men came on, he closed his eyes briefly, telling himself it'd all be over soon.
"Oh look at him!" he heard one of the women shriek "Isn't he gorgeous?"
"Do they go the whole way?"
"It's a closely guarded secret which they only reveal on the night but I hope so!"
These comments (and more slightly risqué ones) were echoing all around Tai. With a sigh, he opened his eyes to see the dancers, knowing he'd look a right idiot if he just stood with his eyes shut.
He thought he was going to throw up.
He knew the dancers on stage. He knew all of them.
Gendo Ikari. Akemi Nakatsuru. Toshiki Miyahara. Istu Katsuragi.
And Yamato Ishida.
Tai clung to the table behind him, gasping in air and shaking violently. He sat like that for what felt like hours but couldn't possibly have been because they were still dancing. Oh God no...
Matt...
As he watched, the strippers removed their last item of clothing, revealing all to a delighted audience.
Tai had never felt so betrayed in all his life.

* * * *

"Now THAT went well!" Akemi said triumphantly "We are just so well loved!"
Matt grinned and flopped down exhaustedly. He needed to rest. He had to admit, he got a buzz out of his performances but they always left him exhausted.
Toshiki was busy counting the money.
"They want us back," he said with a grin "We're a hit!"
"Yay," Matt said, closing his eyes.
"Hey, not there," Toshiki said, giving him a poke "Get dressed and let's go home."
"To sleep on the sofa," Istu mumbled grumpily.
"Hey, it's a lovely sofa bed," Gendo said indignantly "I'll have you know that that sofa bed has been my constant companion since I was just a little lad!"
"You're insane," Toshiki told him.
Matt dressed and then waited for the others. They walked out of the back entrance together where the van was parked, still laughing and chattering together.
Matt was about to get into the van when something struck his face violently. At first he didn't feel any pain, just heard the dull smack of something hitting his face. Then he was on the floor and he heard Istu yelling something and then everything came into focus again and he realised that Tai was standing above him, his face completely white, eyes huge in his head. Toshiki was restraining Istu, realising that neither Matt nor Tai would take kindly to Istu dashing in.
"You bastard!" Tai said, his voice sounding choked "You BASTARD! You...you..."
"Tai," Matt said, wiping away some of the blood that was gushing down his face "Tai I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. God Tai, please listen to me, I'm so, so sorry, I just..."
"Sorry!?" Tai spat "SORRY? My workmates were there tonight, people I know! Half of Odaiba was there tonight and all you can say is SORRY? Half of Odaiba just saw my boyfriend naked! And you're sorry!"
"Tai," Matt said desperately "Tai, please..."
Toshiki quietly stepped in between them.
"This isn't the time, nor the place," he said quietly "You both need to cool down and Matt needs to get that nose seen to. You pack quite a punch."
Tai looked a little mollified by Toshiki's words.
"Go home," Toshiki said softly "Matt will see you tomorrow and you can discuss this in private. Right?"
Tai glowered at Toshiki for a moment, then nodded. He turned and stalked away. Toshiki carefully helped Matt up. Matt barely even noticed that he was still bleeding. He stared after Tai's retreating figure for a long moment, then began to cry.

* * * *

Matt arrived at Tai's house at 11:30. Tai answered the door, his face pale and tired. It darkened when he saw it was Matt. He moved aside, letting Matt walk in.
"Tai," Matt said immediately "I'm so sorry. I never meant for anything to happen this way. I was going to tell you on Monday!"
"Right," Tai said, disbelievingly "Whatever you say Yamato."
Matt flinched at his full name. Tai walked into the living room and sat down. Matt nervously sat down opposite. There was a silence.
"Well?" Tai said icily "Don't you have anything you want to say?"
Matt swallowed.
"Tai," he said "I...I don't know where to start."
"Why?"
Tai looked at him and for a moment, Matt saw the facade crack and saw the betrayal under it, the betrayal and grave distress. He swallowed.
"I....it was after your wedding," he said slowly "I...I'd moved away, you remember. Well, the company I was working for ran into trouble and I lost my job. I hardly had any money, the apartment was rented and I couldn't pay it and I couldn't find work. I was desperate.
The day I lost the flat was the day I met Toshiki. I was standing there with my stuff, trying to work out where to go when he came up. Toshiki's got a habit of helping the waifs and strays of the world. He took me out to lunch, I told him what was wrong. Toshiki offered me two things, to stay with him and his flatmates and to join his strip troupe."
"So it's Toshiki's strip troupe?"
"I'm not sure," Matt confessed "It was Toshiki and Gendo's idea originally, I know that. They've known each other years and they're dating. I think they picked Istu up in a club somewhere and never got rid of him and Akemi was someone they actively met while looking for someone to join the troupe. I don't know. Anyway...I didn't want to strip but I had no choice! I needed a job and there was nothing! And we were careful! We're picky about where we strip and what we do. And we're not prostitutes, we don't have sex for money ever."
He stared at Tai earnestly.
"We're not for sale Tai," he said "We're just on show."
"Oh, and that's supposed to make me feel better is it?"
Matt grimaced.
"No! I don't know! I just want you to feel better! Tai, I swear, this isn't as bad as you think!"
"You know how I feel about stripping Matt!" Tai yelled "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I knew how you felt!" Matt said, trying not to shout "I didn't want to lose you so quickly! I didn't even know if we were serious! What was the point of spoiling our fun for nothing?"
"So you think I just have sex with any stray man?"
"No! I knew we were serious then, that's why I was going to tell you on Monday!"
Matt wanted to cry. Tai didn't believe him, Tai hated him.
"So you're telling me," Tai said icily "That it's JUST for the money. Just for the money? Not because you get a buzz off it?"
Matt hung his head. He wanted to lie but he knew that there was no point. He'd just end up feeling worse and Tai wouldn't believe him anyway.
"Yes," he said softly "Yes, I get a buzz off the cheering. But if I thought I could get a better job then I would! Tai, I was desperate!"
Tai turned away. The bitterness on his face was easy to see. Matt had let him down, made him miserable.
"Tai, I don't know what else to say," he said miserably "I really don't. I really am sorry and I don't want to lose you. I'll do anything to make it up to you."
Tai remained silent. Matt hung his head, fighting the urge to start crying. What was he going to do now? Should he just leave? Should he stay? Should he....what would he do?
"What do you want me to do?" he whispered "Tai? Do you want me to leave? What do you want?"
"Gods Matt, I don't know."
Tai bent over and ran his fingers through his hair, tears glinting out of the corner of his eyes.
"Why'd you do this to me?" he whispered, sounding pitiful "Why'd you do this? What am I supposed to think now? I thought that we...that you..."
Matt swallowed. He tasted blood in his mouth and realised that he'd been biting on his lip to not cry and he'd bitten so hard that he was bleeding. He dabbed at the spot with his fingers, noting that his hands were shaking and so were his lips. He looked down at his lap.
"Tai I love you," he whispered "Please don't dump me. We...we can talk about this can't we?"
Tai looked at him.
"I don't know," he said honestly "Matt, I have a daughter. I don't...don't want her getting..."
"Corrupted?" Matt enquired, a stab of bitterness going through him "Trust me Tai, I'd like to..."
He stopped himself talking. He didn't want to tell Tai at this moment that he was afraid of children. Somehow, he doubted that would go down well. Tai gave him a funny look but said nothing, obviously assuming that Matt had been about to say something nasty because he was bitter. He shrugged and looked away again.
"Tai, please!" Matt said desperately "I swear, I swear, I won't mention this in front of Hatsue! I won't mention it to anybody! Can't we just try? Please let's just try!"
Tai looked at the tears in Matt's eyes then had the tears that had fallen from his own eyes onto his hands.
"I want to," he said "Oh God Matt I want to. But I don't know..."
Matt caught Tai's hands and kissed them pleadingly.
"Please," he begged "Please!"
Tai stared at him. He loved Matt, he didn't want to give him up. But...but a stripper...
"Can't you give up your job?" he whispered "Why do you have to do it?"
Matt just shook his head, his face still pressed again Tai's hands. Tai swallowed, thinking about Matt, everything they'd shared, everything they'd known.
"All right," he whispered "All right Matt. We can try. I want to try."
Matt reached out to pull him close but Tai pulled away. They stared at each other for a few moments.
"I'll see you tomorrow then," Matt said at last.
Tai watched him leave then drew himself up into a nervous huddle, trying not to feel afraid of what he was getting himself into - and trying not to feel disgust at Matt and what Matt did for a living.

* * * *

"So that's what happened?" Gendo said "He's agreed to try?"
Matt nodded. He was huddled on the couch, being hugged by Istu and Akemi. Gendo was sitting on the armchair and Toshiki was standing a little way away, frowning thoughtfully.
"So it's all okay then!" Akemi said merrily "You and Tai are going to be just fine! End of story!"
"But what if he can't accept it?" Matt asked miserably "He was looking at me so horribly. He wouldn't let me touch him. He thinks I'm going to corrupt his daughter - who he is still blissfully unaware that I'm terrified of. He's angry because I lied to him. What am I going to do?"
"He still doesn't know how you feel about Hatsue?" Toshiki said sharply.
"Oh don't start Toshiki!" Istu said sharply "Can't you see Matt's unhappy enough?"
"Sorry," Toshiki said quietly "But I don't think this can wait. Matt, get it all out in the open now. The longer you leave it, the worse it'll be! Don't you understand that?"
"Toshiki!" Istu said sharply "Shut up!"
"Hey, don't get mad as Toshiki, he's only trying to help!" Gendo said angrily "If Matt had taken his advice in the first place, it would never had got to this!"
"Because Tai would have dumped him straight off!"
"You don't know that!"
"I can guess!"
"Don't you guys," Matt whispered "Thanks for trying Toshiki. I know I should have listened. But...but I can't tell him now. Maybe I'll get over it. And...and it'll never last."
He shuddered and wiped his face.
"I know it won't. Tai will try but he won't be able to stand me. It's just a matter of time."
"Don't say that!" Toshiki said.
"Yeah Matt!" Gendo said "If you give up, then it'll never work by default! You have to keep going! PROVE to Tai that you're a great guy!"
"He'd have to be blind not to see it!" Istu agreed.
Akemi nodded.
"Go Matt!"
Matt grinned weakly.
"Do you really think?"
"We know!" Akemi said "You're an incredible person Matt! You're nice and kind and gorgeous and friendly and all sorts of other great things. And if Tai can't see that just because of a stupid job then he's an absolute pillock and needs a good smack."
Matt smiled quaveringly at them. Istu gave him a tight hug and Matt felt other arms wrapping themselves around him, adding their own support. He closed his eyes and swallowed, refusing to let himself cry. His friends said it would all be okay. And maybe it would be.
Well, no matter what happened, Matt was damn well going to try and make it work. No matter what happened, he was going to try. He loved Tai. And he would do almost anything to keep him.

* * * *

Tai sat, cradling Hatsue. She gurgled softly as he carefully gave her bottle. She was so beautiful.
Matt hadn't been by today yet.
Tai bit his lip, scowling to himself. He'd known about Matt's job for a little over three weeks now and their relationship was not improving. If anything, it seemed to be getting worse. Whenever they were together, the atmosphere was cold and depressing. Matt tried to make an effort but Tai just didn't want to let him in. No matter how much he tried, all he could think about was how all his work colleagues and probably half of Japan had seen Matt naked.
Why a stripper? Why did the bastard have to be a stripper? WHY?
Hatsue gurgled, almost as though she suspected that he was unhappy. Tai sighed and gently rocked her. His baby. His precious little baby.
Whenever Matt was around him, the atmosphere was hideous. It couldn't be good for Hatsue. What if it hurt her? Babies were susceptible to bad vibes weren't they? What if she grew up warped because of it?
The door opened.
"Tai?"
Tai had given Matt a key to save him waking Hatsue with the doorbell.
"Hey," Tai said quietly.
Matt came in and bit his lip.
"How's Hatsue?" he asked, forcing his voice to sound cheerful.
"She's great," Tai said shortly "Dozing off I think so I'll put her to bed."
"Right."
Tai got up and walked into the room where Hatsue's cot was. Carefully, he laid her down and stroked her hair gently.
"Goodnight princess," he whispered.
Walking out, he looked silently at Matt who was standing nervously by the door.
"So how's work?" Matt asked.
"Great," Tai said flatly.
"And everything else?"
Tai shrugged.
"I got a letter from Kari," he said.
"How's everything out there?"
Tai frowned.
"I'm not sure," he said slowly "She seemed a bit...funny. Stilted. She mentioned TK and Iori were visiting her but that was about the only thing in it. She even talked about the weather rather than discuss her life. I hope she's all right."
"I'm sure she is," Matt said "You know our siblings. Resilient."
Tai nodded but his frown remained. He was worrying about Kari. She was only twenty and had gone off to Africa for Pete's sake. Surely she was too young for all of this?
"Do you want me to cook us something to eat?" Matt asked timidly.
"Sure, whatever," Tai said.
He heard Matt sigh, although whether with upset or frustration, he couldn't tell. Then Matt walked into the kitchen and started banging around. Tai slumped on the sofa and put his head in his hands. This was ridiculous. It couldn't go on like this. He and Matt were going to have to do...something.
'I have to break up with him.'
But Tai didn't want to. He desperately didn't want to. Matt was...beautiful. He'd been special to Tai since Tai was young, even before they'd become lovers. He didn't want to give him up.
But they couldn't go on like this.
Tai scrambled up and walked into the kitchen. Matt was standing by the stove, water boiling in a pan. He was crying Tai realised, silent tears running down his face.
"Matt."
Matt jumped and looked at him. For once, he made no effort to hide the tears running down his face.
"Why?" he said "Why do you have to hate me?"
Tai turned his face away.
"I don't hate you."
"You do! You must do! Otherwise why do you treat me like this?"
Tai still couldn't look at Matt's face.
"Why a stripper Matt?" he whispered "Why do you have to be a stripper?"
"I told you!" Matt shouted "I didn't have a choice!"
"You do now!" Tai yelled "Why don't you get a new job huh? You could quit any time you wanted!"
"Why should I have to?" Matt yelled back "Yes Tai, I admit it. I LIKE my job! I'm sorry that upsets you but I like doing what I do! I'm not hurting anybody! I'm making people happy! Maybe it's not as good as Kari's nursing or being a rocket scientist or something! But I like making people happy MY way!"
He deflated suddenly. Switching the stove off, he walked past Tai and sat down with a thump, putting his head in his hands. Tai suddenly became aware of screaming cries and realised that their yells had woken Hatsue up.
"Shit!"
"Wretched baby," Matt muttered, not looking up.
Tai gaped at him, then as Hatsue gave an extra loud shriek, realised it would have to be dealt with later. He went into her room and hugged Hatsue gently, rocking her back and forth until her cries stopped.
When he came out again, Matt was gone.

* * * *

"...and then I insulted Hatsue," Matt finished "Not exactly promising, is it?"
"Well...no," Toshiki admitted.
Matt was sitting with the rest of the troupe in the living room. Akemi and Gendo were only paying scant attention as they were trying to built a card house using only jokers. They'd gone out and bought about sixty packs of cards, especially for the jokers and were trying to get into the Guinness Book of Records for building a very large card house, with only jokers in it. Matt thought that this proved they were completely barking mad and who would care anyway? Akemi's reply had been that it was the thought that counted.
Istu was listening to Matt with unwavering attention but Matt had a feeling Istu was completely at a loss as to what Matt should do. Istu wasn't exactly subtle when it came to showing his feelings. Subtlety just wasn't one of Istu's skills. Which was why they had Toshiki of course.
At that moment, Toshiki's face was twisted in a frown.
"I don't know Matt," he said eventually "You've got yourself into a bloody mess."
Matt rolled his eyes.
"Thanks Toshy!"
Toshiki shrugged.
"Would it do any good if I told you to sit Tai down and have a straight out honest heart-to-heart with him?"
"Probably not," Matt admitted "Mainly because I think it would be impossible. Tai just doesn't want to talk to me any more."
"Well, you managed a shouting match!" Akemi said cheerfully "That's a good start right?"
Toshiki quickly intercepted Matt's foot before he could kick over the growing card house.
"Matt, it's your call," he said "I can't help you. But my advice is sit him down and talk to him. If not, this relationship is never going to work."
"How'd you get to be so clever?" Matt asked with a sigh.
"It's in-built," Toshiki said.
"You ought to be a psychologist," Matt said.
"I hate psychologists," Toshiki said quietly.
"Hey," Matt said "One of my friends is a psychologist! Another's a psychiatrist! Don't judge 'em all! Why anyway?"
Toshiki refused to reply to that question and Matt let it go. It was part of Toshiki's nature to refuse to answer if he didn't want to and there was no way of getting the information out of him once he'd clammed up. Matt had learned quickly not to try.
A howl of misery told him that Akemi and Gendo's card house had collapsed. Matt sighed and shook his head.
"Fools," he said "I live in an apartment full of fools."
"It's why you love us right?" Istu said merrily, wrapping his arms round Matt.
"I don't love any of you," Matt said "Especially not you Istu. Let go. Hey! Get off my lap!"
Akemi laughed and bounced onto the sofa, adding his own arms to the hug. Gendo rolled his eyes and followed, pulling Toshiki into the embrace too. The troupe sat there for a while, hugging and laughing. Matt lay back and listened to them squabble about who was taking up the most space and who should move first and grinned, feeling more hopeful than before. Even if things didn't work out with Tai - and they WOULD, he was going to make them work out - he wouldn't be alone. He'd always have his friends to take care of him.
Shoving them off him, he went to phone Tai. It was time they met up and talked properly.

* * * *

They ended up in a coffee bar. Matt's idea had been neutral ground and Tai had agreed. They'd had to wait until Hatsue was with her mother, which had taken a day or so. And now they were sitting there, not speaking, staring at cups of coffee. Matt was trying to summon up courage to speak plainly. It was difficult. He had knew that theoretically, this conversation could be the end of his and Tai's relationship.
On the other hand, it could be the making of it.
He drained his coffee with a gulp then looked Tai squarely in the eye.
"Tai, we have to talk about this," he said quietly "Properly. No fighting. I'm going to lay my cards on the table, and then you can lay yours."
Tai nodded, clutching his cup and looking slightly nervous. Matt kept looking him in the eye. He'd practised what he was going to say on the troupe the night before and they'd thought it sounded good and reasonable. He'd ignored Akemi's 'helpful' suggestions on how to improve it and felt fairly ready.
"I don't want to give up stripping Tai," he said simply "I know you don't like it and I'm sorry it makes you unhappy. But it's my work. I enjoy it. It's part of what makes me...well me."
Tai didn't seem to be reacting. His face was blank. Matt swallowed and continued.
"Maybe someday...yes, I'd probably like another job. But this one is useful and I'm working with my friends. I love you Tai but I can't give up my work for you. I know you can get used to it if you try. I know you can. Like...like I'm trying to get used to Hatsue."
He saw a flicker of a reaction then, a look of confusion. Matt gulped. This was the part that Toshiki had forced him to include, even though he'd frantically tried to avoid it.
"I'm not going to lie Tai, this is the straight cards-on-table time," he said "Hatsue...scares me. She's...she's little and she's just a baby and babies rely on you and get sick and you can't help and...and I don't really do babies. I'm scared that I'll do something wrong and blight her life forever or..."
He realised that he'd gone off on a tangent and was gabbling and struggled to shut himself up. He finally broke eye contact with Tai and stared into his empty coffee cup.
"Why didn't you tell me before?" Tai asked quietly, no discernible feelings in his voice.
"I just..."
Matt swallowed.
"I thought it might split us up," he said "I didn't want to leave you and I thought...I just didn't want to lose you!"
"You're a dumb-ass," Tai said.
Matt wasn't sure if this was a good sign or not. Tai's hands were suddenly covering his.
"Look at me Matt."
Matt did. Tai smiled nervously.
"Look," he said "I'm not happy Matt. You know that. I hate strippers. But...but I can try and get used to it. Maybe if I get to know your friends it'll get better. And as for your problem with Hatsue..."
He shrugged.
"All you need is to spend more time with her and let me help you," he said "I'm sure that you'll get used to Hatsue."
"If things between us are going to work, I'll have to," Matt said "Just like you'll have to get used to my job."
Tai half-smiled, then nodded.
"I guess you're right," he said "The course of true love never ran smooth right?"
Matt laughed.
"Right."
"So," Tai said after a moments pause "When am I going to have a bonding visit with your friends then?"

* * * *

Tai stood outside Matt's door, swallowing. He was wondering if this was such a good idea. Inside that door were a crowd of Matt's friends all of whom he'd met in stripping and not just his troupe. Matt had arranged a sit-down dinner for them all (much to Akemi's rage - that wasn't the sort of party he liked it. His annoyance had been ignored) Tai was dreading it.
"Damn you Matt," he muttered.
Okay, so it had partially been his idea but still, that was no reason for it not to be blamed on Matt.
At that moment, the door was flung open by Akemi. He grinned.
"Taichi! Our guest of honour!"
Tai groaned.
"Oh yay."
Akemi snorted and pulled Tai in.
"TAI'S HERE MATT!" he yelled.
Tai tried not to look around at the people in the room until Matt greeted him with a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Hey," he said softly "Don't look nervous. They're nice, I swear!"
Tai gave him a weak grin as Matt pulled him into the living room.
"This is my boyfriend Taichi," he said cheerfully.
"Hey Tai!" Gendo yelled, waving. Toshiki looked up and waved too. Istu gave him the traditional sulky you-stole-MY-Matt look, followed by a grin. Akemi bounded past them and sat down again. Tai looked at the other guests. Three cheerful looking, quite pretty women.
"So you're the man who's snared Yamato?" one of the said. She looked about 25, with long crimped too-blonde-to-be-natural hair and bright blue eyes. She was grinning at him "It's so unfair, I've been after him for years."
"I did tell you I was gay," Matt said reasonably.
"She thought that was just a ruse to keep her away!" another one of the girls cracked. She had short dark hair and large brown eyes that glittered wickedly. Tai was reminded somewhat of Kari. Matt rolled his eyes.
"Tai, these are Noda Miné, Kusu Chitose and Haoniyao Radhiya," he said. He added in a lower voice "Be nice!"
Miné was the blonde and Chitose was the dark haired. Radhiya was dark skinned and exotic and when she spoke, her native accent had been tinted with the Japanese one, making her sound exotic too. They all looked smart and pretty and not especially wild and scary. Tai sat down and Matt went out, probably to work on the food. Tai sat there, feeling completely terrified. What was he supposed to say?
Luckily, it was clear that the girls were determined to find out everything they could about him. He didn't know if they knew about his problem with strippers but they certainly seemed to be trying to make him feel at ease. Matt's troupe mainly sat silently, letting Tai get used to the girls. Tai answered the questions cheerfully, slowly relaxing. Eventually when they were eating, he braved the question that had bothered him for most of the evening.
"How did you get into stripping?"
He regretted it immediately, thinking that it sounded rude and not being entirely certain that he wanted to know. But the girls didn't seem to care.
"Funding my university education," Chitose said.
"You liar!" Akemi said "You just like getting your clothes off!"
Chitose swatted him.
"At least I'm not a slut," she said.
"Who're you calling a slut? I'm very choosy..."
Matt kicked him under the table and he shut up.
"I needed the money," Radhiya said cheerfully "I'd only recently arrived at this country and I needed something to do to earn money. It's pretty easy money. And then I just rose up through the field."
"Radhiya runs her own club," Matt said helpfully.
Tai blinked and looked at her. Radhiya waved.
"Chitose and Miné are members," she explained "Carefully vetted. I always vet my girls."
"Vet them?" Tai repeated.
"It's very tasteful," Radhiya explained "We don't sell sex or anything. Mine is a strictly high-class establishment."
"Which is why we've never been invited to perform!" Istu said.
He was promptly smacked over the head by anyone who could reach him and the conversation was briefly forgotten. Tai said, thinking for the rest of the meal. He was beginning to feel more comfortable. These girls were nice. They were polite - well, they were loud and cheerful but so were all of his friends. They seemed sweet and kind.
Tai sighed. Matt had always confused his opinions and this was no exception.
He ended up staying much longer than he'd meant to, chatting mainly to the girls. Matt's troupe didn't seem to mind this and talking among themselves, keeping an ear on the conversation and joining in every now and then. Tai was fascinated. The girls weren't stupid. Miné had got an incredible amount of qualifications and had high-flying ambitions. Chitose really was funding her own education using her stripping. Radhiya seemed to have ambitions of changing the world, she kept talking about her different campaigns.
"Tai, you've got work in the morning," Matt said eventually "You've got to go home."
Tai looked at his watch.
"Shit!"
There was a chorus of laughter.
"I'd better go too," Radhiya said "I've got an interview in the morning and need some sleep."
Miné and Chitose decided they needed to leave as well. The troupe politely saw them all out. Matt held Tai back slightly.
"Did...how do you feel now?" he asked.
"I don't know," Tai said honestly "I liked them. They were nice girls..."
His voice trailed off and he swallowed.
"I need to think."
Matt nodded.
"I'll see you tomorrow then," he said.
After a second, Tai ducked his head and kissed Matt firmly on the mouth before leaving.
"How'd it go?" Toshiki asked quietly.
Matt grinned at him.
"It might have worked," he said "It just might have worked."

* * * *

"Tai," Matt said "This isn't going to work."
"Sure it is," Tai said firmly "Sure it's going to work. You only have to be here for an hour."
"An hour!" Matt said "A whole sixty minutes! I have to get out of here!"
He turned to try and run but Tai grabbed his arm.
"No you don't," he said firmly "This was the deal. I spend an evening with your friends, you have to volunteer for a week at helping in the local nursery."
"I hate you," Matt said.
Tai grinned and pulled him inside before Matt could make a getaway.
"Hey Noni! Over here!"
Noni Sprat was the Australian woman who ran the nursery for children from one to five. She was a friend of Tai's and the reason that Matt had been able to volunteer in the first place. Tai had simply talked to her. She was a pleasant looking lady but at that moment, Matt hated her for agreeing to let him do this. She was carrying a child of about two. Matt looked around hopefully, wondering if he could climb out of the window.
"Don't even think about it!" Noni told him "You're here for the hour. Okay Tai, you can leave him, he's in good hands."
"Tai I will never speak to you again if you leave me!" Matt hissed "Taichi!"
Tai waved at him with a wicked grin before walking out. Matt sighed, then took a deep breath and looked at Noni.
"I don't know what he's told you," he said "But it's all lies."
"That I'm sure of," Noni said "Okay Yamato...come this way."
"You can just call me Matt," Matt said "It's fine."
"Okay then. Matt."
Matt followed her with the distinct feeling that he was walking towards the scaffold.
It wasn't as bad as he was expecting. Noni assigned him kitchen duty which meant he only came into contact with the children when they came for their snacks. He had to stop them taking more than their fair share. All the children looked at him with large eyes, probably wondering who this new person was who kept looking at the windows. Matt hoped he didn't look scary. Maybe he ought to have done something different with his hair. What if he looked like a weird person with a blonde thing on his head? Should he be smiling at them? They might think he was a mad-man who wanted to kill them if he kept smiling like this. Why couldn't he smile normally?
Matt had a feeling that he was being ridiculous.
"You're doing fine," Noni told him "Don't look so worried or they'll pick up on it."
"I think I look like a mad axe-murderer if I smile," Matt confessed.
Noni laughed.
"Tai was right," she said "You are a character! Come on. You need some contact with the children."
She introduced him to some of the older children, telling them that Matt was going to be helping out for a while. The children seemed happy to hear this and pulled Matt off to look at some paintings they'd done. Matt was wary of trying to identify what they were of at first - he remembered being very annoyed when he was younger if people thought his pictures weren't of what they were of - but slowly he relaxed and began hazarding guesses - which to his surprise, were all correct.
He was also very surprised when Tai turned up to collect him. The hour had passed without him really noticing. The children waved him off, looking a little disappointed.
"I look forward to seeing you tomorrow," Noni said cheerfully "You'll be fine."
"Well?" Tai asked.
Matt looked at his hands. They were sticky and somehow, one of the children had got paint on him. Wickedly, he took Tai's hand and gripped it in his own.
"Ew!" Tai said "You need to wash!"
"I know," Matt said calmly.
"How did it go?" Tai asked, looking at the smudged paint on his hand with an air of one who suffers in life.
Matt frowned.
"Not too bad," he said at last "Not too bad."
Tai grinned.

* * * *

Matt's week at the nursery passed quickly and (in his eyes astonishingly) enjoyably. He grew steadily more fond of the children there and quickly much more used to them.
"You're going to miss them aren't you?" Tai said.
"Yes," Matt said "I think I am."
Tai paused a moment before cautiously saying.
"You could always apply for a full time job there. Noni's always glad of more help and you did say that girl Sen was leaving so they'd have a vacancy..."
Matt looked at him. Tai was deliberately not looking at Matt.
"And give up stripping?"
"Well...perhaps," Tai said awkwardly.
"Tai I told you, I like stripping," Matt said irritably "You have to accept who I am!"
"I have!" Tai said "I just...."
"Don't like it?" Matt snapped.
There was a pause. Tai looked at Matt.
"Just think about it?" he said pleadingly "You don't have to, I'll respect whatever decision you make. But you know that stripping isn't going to last you forever! A more permanent job would be great..."
Matt frowned.
"I'll think about it," he promised "I'll say no more than that Tai."
Tai nodded and then switched the subject to something easier to discuss and less likely to cause and argument. Matt joined in cheerfully and let the idea of the nursery slip to the back of his mind - for then anyway.

* * * *

He thought about it later. He was on the sofa bed which was a very nice sofa bed but it meant that he felt like a guest in his own apartment. Not that it would really have helped if he was in the other room anyway. He couldn't stop thinking.
Tai's offer was sensible. Matt knew that he couldn't strip forever. He didn't want to strip forever. Radhiya was happy running her club but Matt didn't think that he could ever manage anything like that. He wasn't even sure he wanted to. But working in a nursery...okay he liked babies more than he thought he did but still...and he had a feeling that you needed special qualifications that he didn't have.
But if he refused, would his relationship with Tai suffer?
Matt tossed uneasily. His brain told him to ask Toshiki but he wanted to work out his problem on his own. He wouldn't always have someone like Toshiki to help him after all.
He bit his lip and plumped up his pillows, trying to get comfortable. What was he going to do?
'The first thing to do is find out what qualifications you need to work in a nursery, not just volunteer' he told himself 'THEN you can think about it.'
But he kept mulling things over for hours until he finally dozed off, only to be woken an hour later by Akemi putting the TV on.

* * * *

Tai was giving Hatsue her bottle when Matt unlocked the door.
"Hey Yama!" he called "What to help?"
"No."
Tai grinned at his boyfriend. Matt grinned back.
"Okay," he said.
"Huh?" Tai said.
Matt was looking serious he noticed, serious and a little nervous.
"I'm going back to school," he said.
"HUH?"
Tai gaped at him. Matt grinned.
"I'm going back to school," he repeated "I need some extra qualifications if I'm to work at the nursery for money rather than just as an unpaid volunteer."
Tai stared at him. Matt continued talking quickly.
"I'm not stopping stripping," he said "Not straight away. I need to fund my extra qualifications. After that - we'll have to see. I've talked to Noni and she says unless things radically change, there'll always be a place for me. So. There you go."
Tai carefully put Hatsue down. Then he jumped at Matt and threw his arms round him.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!"
Matt laughed and let his boyfriend twirl him round. Relationships were a doddle really. All you needed was to listen, use your common sense and compromise.
He had a feeling that the feeling of confidence would change over time. But at least he and Tai had a chance together now. Who knew? Maybe they'd be like Gendo and Toshiki.
Matt hugged Tai back and laughed.

The End.