Author's Note: Hey all! I'm back with another full story instead of one shots.

I had the idea of 'What if Oliver was gone for a really long time, and when he came back things weren't as he'd left. His entire life as he'd known was different, Starling City was different, his friends were different but most of all Felicity Smoak, the woman he'd grown to know and love was different. The story would consist of some flashbacks over the year whilst Oliver was gone as well as present stuff.

Multi-character with different dynamics but predominantly olicity! Anyhow, this is just an idea that was nagging me to write down so do let me know what you think. This is a short snippet/taster/test.

PRESENT DAY

"C'mon, I can do this," Felicity Smoak reminded herself out loud as she stared at the door leading to the foundry. When she reached out to press the code, her fingers trembled with uncertainty causing her to release a small shallow breath.

After a year of feeling crippled and worn down by grief and pain, here she was – standing with a mere door between them. Nausea washed over her at the thought, her heart beginning to beat frantically in her chest. Placing a hand against her mediastinum she willed for her heart rate to slow down the way she had been trained to do. Oliver Queen was back in Starling City after wrongly being presumed dead for the second time in his life, and instead of feeling overjoyed she couldn't help the apprehensive feeling that was swelling inside of her.

It had taken her a great deal of effort to summon up the nerve to walk into Verdant and now all that was left was for her to key in the 4-digit code and descend down the stairs, but she was frozen on the spot unable to move her limbs. A thousand questions evaded her mind, a mixture of emotions overwhelming her. Felicity had grieved him! It had taken her months to feel like she was in control of her life again and his return blew everything she thought she knew out of the water. This past year had changed everything, she no longer felt like the woman he once knew – training had made her not only physically stronger but also emotionally.

Releasing the breath she hadn't realized she was holding, she shook her quivering hand and unlocked the door before hesitantly beginning to walk down the stairs with her heart in her throat.

It was now or never.

48 HOURS BEFORE

Felicity Smoak woke in the middle of the night in a pool of her own sweat, her heart hammering frantically against her chest. The nightmares had returned; she hadn't had one of these for a very long time. After the news of Oliver's demise had reached them, she had begun having nightmares every night for months. In those dreams, he died in a different brutal manner that left her just as breathless as the night before. For the past five months, things had begun getting better and she was finally managing to move on from the horror she had gone through, yet here she was, feeling as if she was being propelled right back to the start. She had successfully managed to avoid allowing even the mere thought of him into her mind and all it had taken was for Thea to mention him the night prior for him to take presence in her dreams again. She kicked the duvet that covered her body feeling overly heated and frustrated with herself. She thought she was stronger than this.

"And the second thing?" she had asked him completely oblivious to what his answer would be. She remembered the way her heart still raced from the kiss he'd placed onto her forehead.

"I love you," he'd told her simply with only certainty behind his words. It was the three little words that had knocked the wind out of her leaving her watching after him with her hands trembling.

As the memory unearthed in her mind, she found herself struggling to breathe again. A whole entire year since he had walked out of their lives never to return again, yet every memory that resurfaced ripped the band aid that had begun healing her wounds. Clutching her chest, she jumped out of her bed and stalked over to her kitchen where she grabbed a glass of water. Perching herself on the pink stool and setting the glass onto the breakfast bar, she considered phoning Diggle knowing she'd be unable to fall asleep for a long while but decided against it. He'd be asleep by now and she didn't want to burden him any further; this past year had been as tough on him as it had been for her yet he'd been her rock throughout the entire ordeal, propping her up whenever she felt she would lose it. He had also surprisingly been one hundred percent behind her when she'd told him she wanted to get martial arts training – she hadn't had any inclination to put herself out in the field any more than usual but she loved feeling empowered and had needed something to distract her from her grief.

The funeral had been the breaking point; it was when she'd had the first thought about obtaining some form of training. It was by far the worst experience she'd gone through and she remembered the day like it was yesterday. Surprisingly to her and those closest to her, she hadn't been able to shed a single tear; she had merely stood there, numb, holding a sobbing Thea in her arms. That's what grief had done to her – it had crippled her. Crying hadn't seemed appropriate because deep down at the time, a part of her had refused to believe him to be dead. They had never seen the body therefore how could she believe that he was truly gone? However as the weeks turned into a months; the little hope which had remained had begun to seep out of her. Sighing she dismissed the memories not wanting to succumb to the darkness which threatened to overcome her every time she allowed herself to remember him. Tilting her head back, she finished her glass of water and padded back into her room – she needed sleep if she was to get to work tomorrow.

Author's note: I know this first chapter is fairly short but I just wanted to establish the tone and set the scene before I dig deeper into it. Please leave me your reviews letting me know your thoughts are as it gives me an indication of whether or not you want to read further. I hope you stick with this story but I must warn you, there will be a lot of angst and slow-burn so don't expect a race (especially when it comes to olicity). It'll be more of a marathon. Thank you for reading guys!