Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis

Note: For those who read Jonathan, this is what Liz meant by her Dad's approval and her mum's hatred. Set after 38 minutes.

Based on Linkin Park's numb. Which I also don't own.

Liz lent against the balcony as she reflected on the days events. John had been lucky, very lucky. She'd almost lost him, but she found something she thought she'd lost. Compassion, caring, love. She thought that was something her parents took out of her a long time ago.

All throughout her childhood, she was always told how much of a disappointment she was. First it was that she was a girl and not the boy her father wanted. Then it was that she wasn't interested in dance or ice skating. Then it was that she got less then an A- on one test.

Even as she grew up, she still felt like a disappointment

Her father controlled everything she did. What she wore, who her friends were, she couldn't even date a guy without her father meeting him first. That pretty much ended any relationship she had. She was still judging herself by her fathers' standards, even though she didn't mean too. That was the main reason she was with Simon. One of only two things in Elizabeth's life that her father approved of. Someone from her area of life, someone who grew up with all the benefits she did. She just didn't love him

The second thing her father was 'proud' of was that she followed in his footsteps and became a diplomat. Not that she disliked her job, in fact, she liked it, but it did sometimes show her the worst in people. Sometimes she felt like she was sat down with her mother again

Her mother had married her father when she was 17. It was not something she wanted to do but something her father had pushed onto her. Liz saw a lot of her mother in her. Her mother was full of hatred for Liz and her father. Liz couldn't remember a time her mother had actually told her she loved her. Liz's grandfather had been disappointed in her mother when she finally left her father. Liz was only 14. Only 14 when her mum killed herself. Liz didn't even cry.

Her parents had turned her into stone in such a short time. Something Liz never thought she'd get out of. Until she met John then everything changed. He was completely different to what her father would approve of. Something she never thought she would approve of. Falling for him. For the first time in a long time, Liz didn't feel numb inside. She felt something she'd never felt before. She was pretty sure it was love. When he was stuck in the Stargate she felt fear, pain and she felt she was losing something, no someone special. Someone she loved. That was one thing her parents' couldn't take away from her.


Fin...

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