I don't usually like song fics but I am in the mood for writing. I know I am a horrible person for not updating but I will have the whole of Christmas off to write so hopefully there will be lots of new chapters soon.
If you have never heard "Lonely this Christmas " please listen to it as this is the theme of this one shot.
The snow fell gently from the sky and the BAU office was almost empty. The cluster of people saying goodbye were slowly filling up the lifts and leaving for Christmas.
"Reid, hey man, what are you doing for Christmas?" asked Morgan as he sat on the younger agents desk,"going back to Vegas?"
"No it's just me for Christmas this year," he answered honestly starting to pack his belongings into his satchel.
"I am sure there is someone you could spend tomorrow with or even just tonight. I mean, I would invite you around mine but I am flying out tonight to see my mum" Morgan pressed slightly worried for his friend.
"No it's fine I have got tonight planned and tomorrow I will just read, visit church, you know, the normal" Reid explained trying to ease Morgan's conscience
"Tonight, my man you are a devil. Who's the lucky lady?" he replied teasing Reid and flashing a cheeky grin.
"Put it this way she is the most wonderful girl I have ever met" said Reid as he left Morgan and headed down the stairs and on to the street.
The icy air bit at Reids face as he pulled his scarf closer to him. It was already dark outside but he knew where to go. His feet left marks in the thin layer of fresh snow that lay on the pavement as he kept walking his mind knowing the twists and turns of these streets too well. So many nights of his were spent wandering this path and, as always, he stopped in this same place. He slowly walked forward and for the first time in his journey became aware of the eerie silence that followed him. Brushing the newest layer of snow of his coat he took the last step forward and wiped the frost from the gravestone in front of him.
"Hello...Hello Maeve" stuttered Reid only partly because of the cold.
"It's Christmas Eve, well I guess you know that." he started ,"this would have been our first Christmas together so I wanted to see you. I know I have family and friends I could be with but I wanted to see you tonight." He reached into his satchel and pulled from it a singular rose and placed it on the ground. "I just wanted to say I love you and can...can you help me? It is so hard...Blake has left, you remember her, she helped me f...f...find you" finished Reid his voice cracking as he wiped the tears from his eyes."I saved her, I took a bullet for her but I couldn't save you. I want to know why, why couldn't I save you,took the bullet and let you...let you live" he was halfway between shouting and crying his emotions overwhelmed by his love for the woman who lay before him. Balancing himself, he sat down on the frosty ground and hugged his legs close to him tears creating tracks down his as he hands shook. Once he had composed himself he took breath and listened to the sounds of the church graveyard, the shouts of anger, cries of despair and regret where so loud and clear in the silence he could hear. He closed his eyes once more and a single tear slid down his face.
Reid awoke with a start, the church bells were ringing loudly announcing midnights arrival , he must fallen asleep, for how long he didn't know. Reid smiled, a smile full of pain and looked in front of him, his face reflected off the headstone that stood there.
"Merry Christmas" he exclaimed before standing up and walking away. The rose that lay was now covered in frost, it's warm heart being eaten by the cold as the footsteps grew faint and silence fell once more.