"I was with someone."
It was this line that shattered Kurt Hummel's world. He'd known things weren't perfect. Long distance was rough. Being away from Blaine for so long was much harder than he'd ever imagined. He missed him so much, and constantly found himself thinking of him. Kurt had tried to absorb himself in work, trying desperately for a distraction. It had turned out Blaine had needed a distraction too, he'd just found that in a different way. A much different way.
Kurt shook with sobs. He clutched tightly to old, rickety sink, glaring at his reflection in the mirror. His face was red and blotchy, his hair a mess. But for once, Kurt didn't care one bit.
"Fuck you, Blaine Anderson." He hissed, even though Blaine was nowhere to be near. "I hate you."
Kurt knew that wasn't true. He loved Blaine, he could never hate him. Right? Kurt knew he was supposed to love him no matter what, and he did. But that didn't shake the hurt he felt. The betrayal, the anger. Kurt was living his worst nightmare, and he had no idea what to do.
Kurt's phone buzzed from across the room. Kurt snatched it angrily from the shelf. He barely glanced at it before throwing it into the bathtub. Blaine was calling again. He'd been calling every hour for the past few days like clockwork. Kurt had ignored each and every call. Then there was the constant stream of texts and facebook messages. Kurt just wanted his space, he needed to think. He wanted nothing more than for Blaine to leave him alone. But of course, for that to happen he'd have to tell Blaine that. And communication with him was something Kurt has sworn himself off of. At least for a little while, while he figured everything out.
This was what he told himself. "Figure it out", "think it through". They were easier said than done. All Kurt could think about was how bad he felt, how hurt he was. Why wasn't he good enough for Blaine? Kurt had stayed true to Blaine, as hard as it was. Why couldn't Blaine have done the same? Kurt was so angry at him, so furious. But he kept thinking back to before, before graduation. He thought of the boy in the blazer, with the quirky dance moves and dark curls. Before Blaine would never have hurt him. Before Blaine had been the love of Kurt's life. He was funny and sweet. He always knew how to make Kurt smile, and what the perfect song for the moment was. It was as if this Blaine was an entirely different person to Kurt. He didn't blame Before Blaine at all. It was After graduation Blaine that had cheated. It was he that had broken Kurt's heart in two. Kurt clinged to Before Blaine. He wanted nothing more than to have him back. But could Blaine go back to that person? Could their life go back to how it was before? And most of all, could Kurt go back, knowing now what Blaine was capable of?
Kurt's grip on the sink tightened. He stared at his reflection. Was this his fault? Had he forced Blaine to do this? Kurt knew he hadn't always been the best boyfriend. Maybe he should have listened to Blaine a little more, set aside more time for the two of them. Maybe he should have let Blaine know how much he loved him.
But something else had been nagging at Kurt. The thought constantly on his mind, not just now but always. Maybe he wasn't good enough for Blaine. Maybe Blaine deserved better. He glared at himself through the mirror. He'd always known he wasn't as attractive as Blaine. Sebastian, for one, had made that quite clear. He wasn't as smart as Blaine, or as good a singer. Maybe Blaine knew this, maybe he got bored of Kurt.
Kurt turned to the medicine cabinet, running his fingers aimlessly over the contents. He wasn't sure what he was doing, he just knew he wanted to do something. His fingers rested on the pack of razors. He hesitated. It wouldn't be the first time he'd done it. Before glee club, Kurt had been so close to suicide it had only been a matter of when. He pulled his hand away slowly.
"No, you can't go there again." Kurt told himself strongly. He turned around and ran out of the bathroom before he could change his mind.
In a hurry, Kurt grabbed his leather jacket and keys and ran out of the apartment, slamming the door shut behind him. It occurred to Kurt he had left his phone back in the bathroom. He wondered for a moment whether he should go back. After all, their neighborhood wasn't too friendly, especially at midnight. But he really didn't want to have to hear the constant buzzing and think about Blaine again. Besides, who would he call? Rachel was in Lima. So was Finn, and his parents. He was all alone tonight, and suddenly the city seemed very big.
Kurt ran down the stairs two at a time. The halls were dark and quiet. In the lobby he saw a group of men just a bit older than him, huddled in the corner. Kurt recognized a couple of them. They lived a couple floors up from him. It was strange to see them without the usual crowd of half naked girls, but the usual beer in their hands was there. They eyed him suspiciously, some even looked angry. Kurt avoided their eyes and hastily continued out the door. The voice at the back at his head, the one that spoke in his dad's voice, was telling him to go back to his apartment. That it wasn't safe out here, that he had no reason to be out. But Kurt ignored these thoughts. He walked quickly down the street, his head down. He didn't even notice the men follow him out of the building.