A/N: OHMYGAWD. This story is so sad. I cried after I re-read it. The song I used was Save You- Simple Plan. I was listening to it one day, and this story just popped into my head. I sat and wrote without stopping until it was finished. I hope you guys enjoy. ^_^
DiZclaimer- I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Or any of Simple Plan's songs.
Enjoy!
Save You
Take a breath…
I breathed deeply. I thought back to all the good memories we shared. A peaceful time where absolutely nothing mattered. A time where we were care-free fools that didn't give a damn about anything except having fun.
Those times are long gone, I say to myself, laughing bitterly. I climb the stairs to the two-bedroom apartment that was solely mine now. My best friend couldn't share it with me anymore. My Roxas….
I reach up and touch my cheek. It was wet. Of course, I thought. I'm crying without realising it; I seemed to be doing that a lot lately.
I pull myself together…
I try, in vain, to force my mind back to good memories. Making Roxas laugh, making him smile. My breath hitches in my throat.
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside, to see you…
I break completely now, falling to the floor in the threshold of my apartment.
"Why, Roxas?" I screamed, banging my fists on the ground. I was shaking and sobbing on the carpet.
"Why did you leave me?" I wailed brokenly. My Roxas…. Why?
Memories from the week before come flooding into my mind. I lay still, remembering…
*FLASHBACK*
I walked into my apartment, expecting Roxas to be sitting at the table writing, like he usually is.
"Roxas?" I called, unzipping my jacket and flipping on the kitchen light.
"I-In here, Axel." came a weak voice, followed by retching sounds.
I frowned and instantly started worrying. It had been three whole days, and he was still sick…
I pushed open the bathroom door, to find my Roxas leaning over the toilet, throwing up whatever he had to eat that day. I walked over to him and brushed his beautiful blonde hair back from his forehead.
"Roxas, I'm taking you to the hospital as soon as you're done throwing up." I knelt beside him, "This has gone on long enough. I'm worried."
"O-Okay, Ax-" Roxas broke off, throwing up again. He retched a couple more times before leaning back and wiping his mouth. His cerulean eyes looked into mine.
I saw fear, but most of all, I saw exhaustion. My poor Roxy was worn out.
I wrapped my arm around him and lifted him into my arms. His warm arms wrapped around my neck, and he leaned his head into my shoulder. I sighed, wishing that I could work up the courage to tell Roxas I loved him.
I had no idea that our lives were going to fall apart right before my eyes.
"Cancer? Are you sure?" I asked, my stomach dropping to the ground. I could barely breathe, and the room was spinning. Not my Roxas….
"Yes, Mr. Lea, we are very certain of his diagnosis. The cancer cells have been lying dormant for years in his lungs. They are in full force now, and I predict that he has a week, at the most, to live. Why this happens, we don't know. I\m sorry." and with that, the doctor with icy green eyes left the room.
A week? No…
I strode on my heel towards his room. I was trying so hard not to cry, but as soon as I walked into room 813, I started bawling. He looked to frail and weak, hooked to all those machines. He was ghostly pale, and his fingers were shaking slightly.
If only I could find the answer… Take make it go away..
I walked over to the bed and grabbed his hands with my own. I leaned over and whispered to the sleeping boy, and my best friend.
"I love you Roxas."
*END FLASHBACK*
Sometimes I wish I could save you…
It was too late… I couldn't save Roxas, because he was dead. His life was taken by forces I couldn't control…. Life was cruel.
I got up from the floor, tears still pouring down my face. I left the apartment, locking the door with my keys still inside. I wouldn't need them anymore. As far as I was concerned, I wasn't coming back…
And there's so many things that I want you to know…
Roxas was dead. He didn't know that I loved him, so I had to tell him.
"I love you Roxas, I'm sorry." I kept crying softly to myself.
I was attracting weird looks, but I sure as Hell didn't care. Nobody mattered. Nobody had ever mattered, except for Roxas…
I won't give up 'til it's over… If it takes you forever, I want you to know…
It was all over. I didn't have Roxas anymore, therefore, no reason to exist. I couldn't live without him.
When I hear your voice, drowning in a whisper. You're just skin and bone, nothing left to take…
*FLASHBACK*
As that fateful week progressed, Roxas' condition visibly worsened. I knew this, but when Dr. Evens came to talk to me, it still tore a whole in my heart.
"You might want to start making arrangements. Call his family and such." he said, looking at Roxas, "ho only has a few days left, if that,"
A tear escaped, rolling down my cheek and onto the tile floor. Dr. Evens pretended not to notice, and instead turned on his heel and left the room.
"I'm the only family he has…"
*END FLASHBACK*
If only I could find the answer, to help me understand….
*FLASHBACK*
I marched into room 813, my iron-clad resolve not flickering once as I saw Roxas sitting up, staring at the wall morosely. I swore to myself I was going to make Roxas smile again.
I pulled the only chair in the room beside his bed.
"Hey Axel," he said, flicking his eyes to mine
"Hey Roxas, how are you?" I smiled softly, reaching for his hand.
He looked at me like I was stupid.
"I'm in the hospital, Ax, how do you think?" he rolled his eyes, trying to glare at me, but failing. The corners of his mouth tugged, lifting into a small smile.
"True enough." I replied, squeezing his hand tighter. "Listen, Rox, I wanna tell you something."
"Sure, Axel," he said, squeezing back lightly.
"I love yo-" I broke off, wincing as his hand, once a light touch, became a death-grip, clutching my hand like a lifeline.
Sometimes I wish I could save you… And there's so many things that I want you to know…
All of a sudden, doctors and nurses alike entered the room, pushing me aside. What was going on? I had to tell Roxas I loved him!
"His lungs are failing! Quick, get me t-" a doctor yelled.
My mind shut down when I heard the first part. I couldn't hear anything, and I could only see a white light. My Roxas was dying….
If you fall, stumble down, I'll pick you up off the ground
If you lose, faith in you, I'll give you strength to pull through.
"Sir? Sir, he's asking for you." a nurse said, snapping me back to reality, and out of my horror and grief. I saw pity in her light blue eyes, but I brushed it off as I rushed to his side.
"Rox? Roxas, I'm here!" I squeezed his hand again, tears pouring down my face.
"Ax-el?" he whispered, squeezing back faintly.
"I'm here, Roxas. I won't leave you." I leaned over him and touched his face. The medical staff were leaving the room, seeing that there was nothing they could do, giving the two best friends time to say goodbye.
Tell me you won't give up
I'll be waiting
If you fall, you know…
I'll be there for you.
"Axel…" he whispered, his life fading.
If only I could find the answer,
To take it all away…
"I love you, Ax… I love you…" Roxas said with his last breath.
"ROXAS! NO!" I was shouting and crying, but I knew it was futile. The boy I loved, was gone.
*END FLASHBACK*
Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there's so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up 'til it's over
If it takes you forever, I want you to know…
I couldn't live without Roxas, I couldn't tell him I loved him, because he was dead. I shuddered, tears still falling.
"I'll be with you soon Rox." I whispered.
I couldn't save the boy I love, so that's why I'm standing on the clock tower. I couldn't live without him, so I wasn't going to live at all.
I put one foot on the ledge. The clock tower had been mine and Roxas' special place. It was here that I gave him his first sea-salt ice cream. I smiled to myself at the memory.
"Sweet, but salty…" I whisper, bringing up my other foot.
I wasn't sad anymore. How could I be? I was about to join my Roxas.
I allowed my smile to grow wider at the thought.
I want you to know…
I spun around so my back was facing the ground below.
I took a deep breath.
I wish I could save you…
I leaned back, spreading my arms out wide.
"I'm coming for you Roxas!" I shouted with pure joy as I fell.
I want you to know…
I love you Rox.
The wind whistled around me. Anticipation clawed at my insides.
When I hit the ground, all I felt was Roxas' warm arms welcoming me home.
END