Title: Price to Pay
Rating: M (sexy times, yo)
Pairing: Emma/Regina - Swan Queen
Show/Fandom: Once Upon a Time
Warnings: F/F sex, sad feels, some Snow and Charming (Hook and Gold too?) and a possible spoiler from the new promo pics (it's barely mentioned, really)
Author's note: I had so many ideas when writing this and let's just say the ending was not what I originally planned, but it happened anyway. I am sorry, really. But a sequel could be worked out. Just sayin'.
Here's a disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own anything but the writing. This is just for fun. And any mistakes are my own because it's way too late for me to read over this again.
Summary: It had always been like, since that first night on Hook's ship. They found that they needed each other and that it came from a primal place. Emotions were messy and, yeah, they were dealing with them as best they knew how, but God, they needed this.
"No."
The way Regina spoke that one simple word made Emma's heart clench in her chest. It was slow, low, and wavering. Like she couldn't believe such a question would even be asked let alone by the one person she thought she could rely on. Her eyes were pools as she stared at Emma - who swore she could drown just by looking at them - not bothering to acknowledge the others within her reach.
Pushing forward, she entered what would be considered a person's personal space but with Emma, it had never been an issue. And if anything, in that moment, she needed the Saviour to know the truth and do the saving, to save her from what she was being accused of.
Snow, Charming, Hook, Rumpel - they could all get lost for all Regina cared, their beliefs didn't bother her in the slightest. They didn't have to believe her but she needed Emma to. She needed Emma to believe in her because it was all she had left, it was all she could hang on to.
Henry's life was hanging in the balance and if she lost Emma's trust then she was sure she would never recover. For she could come back from much, but not that.
"Emma," she implored desperately, her voice cracking under the weight of the woman's name. She was staring at the woman like she was the only person in the world, begging her with her eyes. And Emma wanted to believe her, she did, but she had her parents at her side convincing her otherwise.
Regina sensed it, cast a glance towards Snow who was wrapped up in an embrace by her ever-doting husband, and faltered momentarily. Her eyebrows scrunched, she swallowed visibly and turned her eyes back to Emma; she looked as every bit desperate as she felt, it was emanating off of her.
"Have I…" Regina caught Emma's chin with her fingers and tried not to wince at how the woman acted as though the touch burned her. Slowly, carefully, she turned Emma to face her and began again, "have I done anything that would question my loyalty since we started this?"
Emma didn't answer and neither did anyone else, answer enough.
Since falling through the portal Regina was every bit supportive of any plan the group could come up with. Did she like the idea of working with a pirate, the man who corrupted her, and the two idiots? No. But it wasn't about her, it was about finding her son. Their son.
Regina had never liked the idea of sharing Henry with anyone. After all, he was her son; she raised him, Emma was merely the human incubator. But a lot had changed since her son's birthmother had barrelled into town throwing everything she knew upside down. And a lot more had changed that third night aboard the Jolly Roger when neither of them could face the emotions that threatened to consume them and they had met with heated and bruising kisses and shedded clothing.
It was why she needed Emma to believe her. Because she had spent more nights than she cared to admit wrapped up in the woman's arms, being kissed, being touched, being told how beautiful she was. Emma was shining her light into Regina's darkness and she couldn't lose that, she couldn't lose her.
"Regina—"
"No." There it was, that word again. It fell from Regina's lips with much more conviction than earlier and Emma tilted her head sympathetically.
Emma hated that she was questioning the woman standing before her, hated it like she hated pickles on burgers and childproofed cabinets. She had told herself once that she would never question Regina again where her trust was concerned, that she would always follow her gut instinct and trust herself and not the fake memories of a dog. But even with that hanging in her head, she was hesitant.
And she really hated that she was.
Regina wasn't an idiot, she could see right through Emma, right through her façade. She didn't believe her and so she recoiled her fingers away from her chin. She drew in a ragged breath and offered a tight smile. "Well, then."
"She didn't do it."
The words caused Regina's head to snap up from where she had lowered her gaze and found the words belonged to Emma. Her lips parted in shock because if there was anything she expecting, it wasn't that.
"Emma," Snow spoke, "with all due respect, we saw—"
"What you saw probably wasn't even real!" Emma exclaimed with the sudden urge to defend Regina to anyone and everyone who tried to paint her as the black and white villain who sabotaged their latest lead on finding Henry. "We knew coming into this that it wouldn't be easy, the island is trying to put us against one another because we're weaker apart than we are united. Even Gold said so."
The man gave a stiff agreeing nod when all eyes were on him, "she's right."
"Then why the hell didn't you speak up before?" Regina growled. "The fact that any of you thought I would sabotage a possible way to find my son is absurd."
As Regina got into it with Gold and Hook stood idly by with a smirk, Charming glanced to the side at his wife. She gave him a nod and he cleared his throat. "We're all exhausted, dehydrated." Every bit the royal, he took charge of the situation much to everyone but Snow's dismay. "Regina, Snow and I are terribly sorry for accusing you of such a thing. But we did see it. Perhaps we were too quick with our assumptions."
Regina sniffed and folded her arms. She accepted the apology with a terse nod and was secretly grateful to how Emma now stood beside her in a stance that seemed very protective.
"We should set up camp here," David continued. "Shake off these hallucinations, get some sleep and eat something. Tomorrow we can pick up where we left off."
Emma didn't like the idea of slowing down because every minute standing still was another minute she didn't have Henry. She knew Regina felt the same by the way her body tensed at the words but, honestly, it was the best course of action. The island was pitting them against one another and God, Emma was so hungry that she was sure her next hallucination would be of a cheeseburger and knowing her luck she would end up taking a bite out of Snow's head.
"Alright." Emma agreed. "Let's set up camp."
They found a clearing that was perfect for their makeshift camp. It offered shelter from the rain and had height enough to get the upper hand should one of the Lost Boys attack. Though, if asked, Emma would say she would prefer a Lost Boy to the Shadow. That thing freaked her the hell out.
Hook was on first watch at the edge of the clearing, seemingly happy to sit with his thoughts. Rumpel had retired to his tent and Snow and Charming to theirs, one that had been conjured out of reluctance from Regina. Regina herself had her own tent which stood at a perfect distance from the others. And Emma, well, after Regina had told her to practice her magic like they had done on the ship, had conjured a tent… without the poles. Basically all she had was a flat tarp lying on Neverland's forest ground.
So she ended up in Regina's instead, knowing that she would have anyway even if her own tent had actually been conjured upright.
They laid in silence, side by side with a few inches separating them. Neither could sleep, understandably. It was after a while of silence that Regina spoke, breaking it.
"You… believed me."
It was spoken so quietly that Emma had to turn her head to the side to make sure Regina had actually spoken. When she saw the woman purse her lips into a thin line she knew she had and at what she was referring to, inhaled deeply.
"Yeah." Emma breathed in response. Admittedly she had been on the fence at first but overall, yes, she had believed Regina.
"Even though the evidence was stacked against me," the female beside her pointed out. Emma's brow furrowed and she turned to face her fully, having a feeling Regina wasn't quite finished with talking. She was proven right as the woman continued, "I—just, thank you."
Because Emma hadn't been expecting a thanks she found that her lips curled upwards in a small smile and she could pretty much feel Regina's eye-roll at her response.
"We may have our differences but I know that, above everything, you put Henry first. You wouldn't have burned the map, Regina." Emma felt a small sense of guilt at knowing that she almost hadn't believed in her and maybe that was why she reached out tentatively and ran her finger up Regina's arm absent-mindedly, just wanting to be near her and touch her. "I'm sorry," she breathed out after a moment. "I almost didn't believe you, I got caught up and—"
"It's fine." Regina dismissed. She had turned on her side and was now facing Emma. Somehow their hands had found one another's in the middle and she intertwined their fingers with a reassuring squeeze. "Neverland is a land rooted in beliefs, created in the minds of children where magic and never growing up was the ultimate dream. But once Peter Pan..."
It seemed that wasn't something Regina wanted to touch upon and she closed her eyes with an inhale and when she exhaled, eyes opening, she saw Emma was staring at her in a gaze that made her feel like she was melting the ice from her heart. She smiled gently, sadly, really. "It wasn't always like this, you know. Neverland. Once upon a time it was a very pure land; innocent."
Emma moved her unoccupied arm so she could bend it under her head and rest against it. "What happened?" She asked softly like she was child being told a bedtime story.
"Well," Regina mused, "as with anything good, there's always someone bad that wants it."
"Peter Pan." Emma deduced naturally and everything was so quiet, so still, that she felt like there was no one else in the world but her and Regina. Regina gave her a nod with a look that seemed sad, or maybe worried, Emma couldn't decide. Swallowing, Emma approached her next question with a sense of unease, "what do you think he wants from Henry?"
That was the question swimming in everyone's mind, wasn't it? And when faced with it, Regina had to look away from Emma, away from her soft yet intense gaze. Instead she focused on their clasped hands and drew her thumb across Emma's knuckles exhaling an, "I wish I knew."
"Do you think—"
"No." Regina's eyes widened, her gaze penetrating Emma as she flicked her head up so fast Emma swore she probably got whiplash. There was hesitance, a shaky breath, but Regina continued, "if they wanted him… dead, then they wouldn't have taken him in the first place."
Emma deemed the logic sound and squeezed Regina's hand tightly. Whether it was for her own sake or Regina's she couldn't be sure but after a moment she guided their joined hands towards her stomach and then—
"Oh," came Regina's soft murmur as Emma pressed their hands under the waistband of her jeans, letting her intentions come off as crystal clear. "You're… sure?" She asked the woman beside her in a suddenly hoarse voice.
Mesmerized by the way Emma popped the button and unzipped the zipper, allowing more room, she heard a sigh fall from the blonde's lips and a, "yeah."
It had always been like, since that first night on Hook's ship. They found that they needed each other and that it came from a primal place. Emotions were messy and, yeah, they were dealing with them as best they knew how, but God, they needed this.
"I just—" Emma exhaled shakily as Regina's fingers brushed against her underwear line. "I need to… for a moment…"
Regina didn't need the explanation. After all, it wasn't the first time something like this had happened. She murmured a "ssh" and moved forward to capture Emma's lips with her own. It was soft, sighing and completely gentle. Almost explorative.
"Please." Emma's whisper brushed Regina's lips as she slipped her hand south, delving under the material of Emma's underwear. She was met with a gasp and her own lips parted in surprise to see that Emma's plea didn't go unwarranted, the woman was definitely ready for her.
Regina sucked on Emma's bottom lip and manoeuvred herself so her spare arm could snake under Emma's neck and grasp the back of her head, drawing her in closer. She was breathing in her air, breathing in everything that she was and her eyes fluttered closed as Emma allowed her tongue access to her mouth.
Moaning quietly, Emma moved her tongue against Regina's, tasting her and revelling in the feeling she provided. But it wasn't enough, not when her skin flushed and every inch of her felt like electrical currents were pulsing throughout body. It was always like this when Regina touched her and she knew she could get addicted to the feeling, if she wasn't already.
It was a slow torture, to have Regina part her wet folds with teasing fingers but never actually give her what she wanted. And when her index finger met the side of her throbbing clit, Emma bucked her hips into her hand as a low groan muffled amidst their joined mouths.
It was mean, Regina knew, to deny Emma what she wanted the most, what she knew she wanted the most. But when she had her like this, nails digging into her side while her hips pushed forward and silent pleas were swallowed in kisses, she liked the power it exerted.
But if there was one thing she underestimated and probably shouldn't have, it was Emma's need to let go and fall away from their crappy situation in that moment. Perhaps she should have known, after all it was what they were doing, but she had been lost in her teasing strokes and lustful kisses. So when Emma used her strength, leg hooking around Regina's hips, she found herself gasping as the woman controlled the situation.
Emma had flipped Regina onto her back and was now straddling her. Her blonde locks cascaded over her shoulders and her cheeks flushed, a sheen of sweat coating her forward. She felt hot, too hot, and was quick to remove her tank top, left sitting there in her bra with Regina's hand still inside her jeans.
"I said please," Emma reminded her breathlessly, a slight amusement dancing in her eyes. Like earlier her hand found Regina's and she groaned as she guided it to her entrance, prompting her to slip a skilful finger inside. And then another.
Regina marvelled at the sight afforded to her and felt her own desire flush between her thighs as the woman on top of her threw her head back, unclasping her bra. Emma was essentially rocking her hips, grinding down onto Regina's fingers as she moved them rhythmically inside her clenching walls.
"Gods." It was Regina's turn to moan as Emma tossed her bra to the side and her bare breasts came into her view. She was like a goddess, sitting on her half-naked with wild curling locks of golden hair and hips swivelling to get Regina's fingers in the places she wanted them most.
Emma's lips twitched up into a smile and whether it was from the pleasure or Regina's reaction, Regina wasn't sure. But she found she liked the smile either way. It was when she swiped Emma's bundle of nerves with her thumb that she saw the smile disappear from her face and instead she bit down on her lip to suppress a moan.
After all, it wouldn't do any good to let the full extent of her pleasure be known. They did have an audience outside, even if there was a good bit of a distance between them.
Regina sat up to attach her mouth to a hardened nipple and Emma gasped as she wound her arm around her back, grasping the back of Regina's head with fingers digging into her scalp. She guided her head closer, clutching her to her chest as the woman worked her magic with her tongue, her skilled fingers creating even more of her magic between her thighs.
Now sitting in her lap completely, Emma hissed when Regina took a hard nipple between her teeth and she raised her hips until the tips of Regina's fingers remained, brushing her entrance. She pushed back down with a shaky intake of air and a, "can you…?" left her lips in the form of a throaty whimper.
Complying to what didn't need to be said with words, Regina curled her fingers in a come-hither action before corkscrewing them, causing the woman she was pleasuring to cry out unable to stop herself. And in that moment, she didn't. Emma was lost to the pleasure, driving her hips down onto Regina's fingers in order to reach the release she sought so desperately.
Regina continued her assault with her mouth, kissing across the flesh of her breasts, between them and up, sucking on the hollow of Emma's neck with delicious whimpers in result.
"Please." Emma gasped out, one hand making work of removing a sleeve of Regina's jacket, the other fisting in her brunette hair. "Please, please, please…" She all but begged, so close now that her whole body began tensing. She felt like she couldn't, like something was holding her back. The release so close yet so far away and it was almost unbearable.
In instinct Emma rolled her hips backwards, seeking a short refuge from the overwhelming pressure. But Regina didn't allow it. She wrapped her arm around Emma's back and pulled her closer, making her feel everything, and when Regina focused on her clit, she was gone.
Regina swallowed Emma's moans as best she could but the woman was completely lost in her orgasm, forgetting her surroundings completely. Her thighs trembled around her hips, walls contracted around her fingers and she dug her nails into the flesh of her upper arm, creating crescent shaped marks on her olive toned skin.
When Emma came down from her high she trailed lazy kisses across Regina's shoulder, to her neck, and sucked firmly on her pulse point. Regina moaned in approval and before she knew what was happening next, she was once again on her back with Emma between her thighs making quick work of removing her pants and underwear.
She didn't complain, not when she felt a hot mouth on her hot flesh and suddenly all rational thinking left her as she released a moan and allowed Emma to take her completely until round three came. And then round four, until eventually they collapsed against one another and fell into the lull of sleep.
Regina was naked when she awoke. Cold, and Emma-less. Having fallen asleep entangled with the blonde, she expected to awake with her. But her warmth was gone, as was her being. It was still dark outside but Regina definitely knew she was in the tent alone. The entrance flap was swaying in the wind and in order not to freeze to death, she pulled on her clothes.
She was dressed fully when she exited the tent, expecting to find Emma on watch. But instead she was met with Hook.
"Where's Emma?" No time for pleasantries as she dove right into the question, her tone sounding hoarse as her voice was scratchy from the sounds she had made earlier.
"The last I heard—" Hook began with a smirk, careful to pronounce the word 'heard' that Regina's cheeks flushed "—she was with you, love. And bravo, really. I have to say I'm impressed."
Regina quickly recovered and snarled at the man. "Your voyeurism is as dirty as you are, Pirate. And should you do something so crude again then I will make sure that your own nasty little habits are inaccessible." She gestured to his one good hand and Hook visibly scowled, not liking the idea of his other hand being threatened. "Now, where is Emma?"
Hook sat straighter, tensing. "Like I said," he spoke thickly, feeling annoyed at having to repeat himself, "the last I saw of her, she was with you."
His answer was genuine, it seemed, but seeing as the blonde was nowhere to be found around in their little makeshift camp, Regina's stomach lurched.
"Then where is she?"
It was so beautiful. So bright, so colourful, warm and welcoming. It felt as if she was coming home. Drawn to the sound of Henry's laughter, Emma watched as the boy guided her.
"Come on!" He urged, again and again. And she followed him without question. She followed him because she had spent too long already searching for him and he just seemed so happy that she wanted to join in on it. So she did, smiling as she walked barefoot after him.
They seemed to be moving upwards, her legs could feel the pull and strain but it didn't matter. The sun was shining brightly, the heat kissing her skin in the most soothing of ways. The grass was soft under her feet, tickling her skin and making her smile as she grabbed the edges of her white gown and began running up the hill after her happily laughing son.
It was all so surreal but it was so alluring, so happy. She couldn't remember changing into the dress, she couldn't even remember when the curls had come back to her hair - did she even bring her curling iron to Neverland? It didn't matter, not when she felt this free, like a weight had been lifted.
"Where are we going?" She shouted after Henry. The sound seemed to bounce, vibrating off of every surface available. The rocks, the trees, hell, even the clouds.
The wind whipped through her hair, across her body, a brilliant contrast from the sun's rays. She knew there was water in the distance, the ocean coming into view as she reached the top. A cliff. She stood there, walking closer as the waves came into view.
But she lost sight of Henry and suddenly the calming feeling was lost amidst her panic.
"Henry?"
Emma could barely hear her own voice, did she even say anything?
"Henry!" She tried again, eyes wide and searching.
But nothing - no one. He was gone and suddenly her bright world was turning into darkness. Suddenly the grass below her was thick and bruising, weeds sticking into her feet and causing her to wince as she looked down and spotted cuts all over her skin. She wasn't in the dress, no, she was in her jeans and tank top and she was—
The surprised scream left her lips as she realised where she was; at the edge of the cliff, about to fall to her death where the angry ocean and rocks lay below. She didn't have time to stop herself, the song of the siren's filling her ears and pulling her in before she knew what was happening.
It didn't feel real, it felt far too slow to be happening. The earth below her feet fell away and she was tumbling forward, off the cliff and towards a grizzly death. The instinct to survive kicked in almost immediately and she reached up, catching herself on a tree's underground root, yelping desperately and trying, God she was trying, to get a grip good enough to pull herself up.
How it happened, she didn't know. She had been targeted on the Jolly Roger too, the mermaids having detected her despair easily. She shouldn't have been surprised, she had a lot of it to offer. Her childhood, the loss of Neal, added with the loss of Henry.
But Regina had her fair share of pain, Hook too. Even Gold and her parents, so why her?
Crying out as a strong gust of wind swayed her, she slipped, but managed just about to cling onto the end of the root. It was digging into her palms, burning and cutting her skin. Her heart was thumping, adrenaline aiding her human nature of needing to survive.
God, she really really needed to survive.
Everyone in the camp was up, searching, and calling out Emma's name to no avail. They were five minutes outside of the camp's perimeter when Regina gasped aloud. Her vision blurred momentarily and her legs wobbled, giving out on her.
Luckily Hook swooped in, catching her with ease. "Woah there, lass." Despite their earlier encounter his face etched with concern and when Regina found she could carry her weight again, he helped her to her feet and stepped back. "What was that about?"
"Something's wrong," she rasped out. She couldn't explain it, wasn't sure she wanted to understand it, but she felt tethered to Emma.
It made sense, after all, having shared the most intimate part of herself with the woman. They didn't just connect physically, but emotionally too. And most definitely magically (the amount of magic they had used together since setting foot on the island was evidence enough). Neverland was a land rooted in magic, connections and bonds and relationships acted differently. It was a whole new set of rules.
"Emma?" Snow questioned but her face betrayed that she already knew the answer.
They all took off, letting Regina take the lead.
When they got to the incline Charming shouted Emma's name only to be responded with a distressed yell and a muffled word that probably wasn't PG rated.
The earth continued to fall away under Emma's weight and more and more of the root became visible. Emma could literally feel her body descend lower and she knew she wouldn't be able to hold on for much longer.
Hook was among the first to arrive, Charming and Snow at his side. On instinct the pirate fell to the ground and used his hook to, well, hook, around the tree's root, holding it in place with as much strength as he could muster. Beside him Charming lay down fully, reaching his hand over the side to his daughter.
"Emma," he coaxed in a voice that was trying to be soothing, comforting, but only came out as strained and frightened. "Take my hand."
Emma was too far down, too far away from his grasp. She feared letting go with one hand would cause the other to buckle under the weight. So she held on tighter and grit out an, "I can't."
"Yes, yes you can." Suddenly Charming's voice adopted a calm tone and Emma peered up at him, feeling nothing but trust and love emanating from him. How easily she fell into the role of his little girl when the situation allowed it.
In this case, a helpless little girl. One who allowed those damned finned sirens to lure her. Twice. She was such a mess, avoiding all her pain because it was easier that way. Now she was faced with it and she would have preferred to dangle herself off a cliff if it meant avoiding it. Only, in this case, it was what caused it.
Emma only wished she could climb back into Regina's bunk within the cabin, show up on her doorstep on Mifflin street, sleep beside her in the tent. For someone who created such intense feelings within her, she was also able to take them away in times of need. And with her father yelling at her to take her hand and her mother's worried face beside him, it was only Regina that she saw.
Regina was among the last to reach the edge of the cliff having been burdened with a sudden bought of dizziness that she assumed came from being so close to Emma. She didn't know what it was or maybe she dismissed it, because Emma had been targeted by sirens - twice. And during those two times Regina had been present and it was only now that she realised the tingling feeling she got when it happened on the Jolly Roger wasn't born out of fear… but something else.
Still, the fear was very much there because she knew what it meant, she knew she was connected to Emma. Not through Henry, not through magic. Through something else entirely, something she had once before. With Daniel.
She hadn't wanted to see it before, denied it profusely, but now she was staring at Emma as she dangled helplessly, mere moments away from slipping away from her completely.
And her magic wasn't working, she couldn't use it to help out.
Emma seemed to realise it at the same moment Regina did. Charming was still shouting at her, Snow now too, but her eyes were on Regina. "Find Henry," she tumbled out. "Don't let anything or anyone stop you." She sounded so determined, maybe angry, and Regina couldn't find her voice to reply.
"God damn it Emma, grab my hand!"
Emma looked up at her father, the desperation clear in his clouding eyes. She wanted to do just that, to reach up and grab his hand but she couldn't. She knew once she tried she was gone. Either way, she realised, she was gone. But for some reason she felt the need to try - for him. For Snow. God, for Henry. Even, even Regina.
Hook was still desperately holding onto the root which was threatening to break and Gold's voice interrupted them all. "We're not alone."
Regina followed Rumpel's gaze out and up to where she saw the Shadow circling in the skies, its eerie cry haunting the air and its eyes glowing brightly as it approached at a rapid pace.
Falling to her death was one thing, having her shadow, whatever, ripped out or tortured, was another. So in instinct Emma removed one hand, the shift in weight causing her to slip down the root, searing her flesh but she grit her teeth and reached up, her fingertips brushing those of her father's.
In order to get closer and gain more leverage, too, Snow was removing Charming's belt and once she had it, was tying it around his ankle, getting a grip. This allowed him to reach out further but not by much. Still, he was able to clasp his hand in Emma's and take her weight into his own.
"Come on, you got it, that's a girl," he coaxed, trying to ignore the fact that the Shadow was nearing despite the deflection shields Gold threw its way. Emma grunted and grabbed onto her father's hand earning a pleased smile from his lips. "Now, your other one."
Emma was hesitant to remove her other hand but she trusted David and did exactly that. She was now freefalling as she gripped onto him, both hands clutching his one as he began to pull her up with all he had.
Regina was staring at her, her eyes wide, her expression terrified. She was frozen as Emma stared back at her, holding onto her father with all her strength.
It wasn't enough.
The storming clouds above thundered loudly, the lightning flickering through Regina's bedroom as the rain battered against her window; a continuous drone causing sleep to evade her and give her no choice but to focus on her thoughts. But, honestly, during the last few months, she couldn't seem to shake her thoughts no matter how hard she tried. She couldn't forget, she couldn't forget her.
Hating the feeling that came with such thoughts, Regina scowled and narrowed her gaze as she threw off her covers and slipped out of the bed. The clock on her bedside table read 2:18 and since getting into bed at around eleven, she had done nothing but lay there listening to the rain.
As she approached the window she stared out at the street. Trees swaying, gate creaking, the puddles on the ground moving with each pelt of rain they received.
She had been back in Storybrooke for all of three months but things hadn't gotten easier. They were all coping from the loss as best they could, but it was difficult. Regina had easily slipped on her mask to hide how she truly felt but it was during nights like these, where she was alone with her thoughts, that she couldn't escape the emotions that threatened to cripple her.
And how it crippled her. It made her feel like she couldn't breathe, like her legs would give out on her at any moment. There was a dull ache in her chest, pulling at everything she was, consuming her.
What was worse was that she hadn't gotten the time she would have wanted with Emma. No time, really. There never was any time, for those she loved were always taken from her in an instant. Yes, she loved Emma Swan. She had realised it some time ago and then believed in it fully the moment she watched her disappear into the ocean never to come back again.
And in the previous months she had spent alone she wondered how she could have ever doubted it.
A lone tear fell down her cheek as a small mumble came from behind.
"Mom?"
Regina sniffed, acted as though she hadn't shed the tear, and turned to find a pyjama clad Henry, standing there with such a sad expression that her heart broke even further.
She had thought they had gotten past this, past him coming into her bedroom in the middle of the night. Since returning from Neverland the stress from the ordeal on top of losing a mother had been a heavy weight for the boy to bear and he had spent many nights sleeping beside Regina. Which, of course, she didn't mind. In fact it was kind of nice to have her bed occupied by another body.
"What is it sweetheart?" Regina was at his side in an instant, crouched just enough so she was eye level with him. His eyes were watery and red, his cheeks splotched, a sign he had been crying. Softer, she repeated, "what is it?"
Henry scrubbed at his eye with his fist, inhaling a shaky a breath. "I couldn't sleep."
The tone in which he spoke was painful to hear. He sounded so small, so upset. Regina wanted nothing more than to scoop him up into her arms and never let go. She wanted to take his pain away, take all of his burdens, even if it would crush her to do so.
"I know," she whispered, taking his hand into her own, "the storm is quite… disruptive."
"It's not just the storm." Henry murmured and Regina briefly averted her gaze, knowing what he meant. "It's everything. It's Emma. I—I miss her."
"Oh, Henry." Regina pulled her son into a hug. She stood straighter, able to engulf him completely and rest her chin on the top of his head. He clutched at her tightly, his fingers wrapped into the material of her silk pyjamas. "I know," she whispered against his hair, "so do I."
They stood like that for a while. How long exactly, Regina couldn't be sure, but Henry's grip hadn't relented in the slightest and she wanted to give him whatever comfort she could.
When he pulled back, sniffling and wiping his eyes, she pressed a kiss to his forehead and smiled sadly. No words were spoken as he climbed into the bed and she followed, snuggling up to him once they were comfortable under the blankets.
The thunder still sounded in the skies, the room lighting up every now and then, and the rain still pounded. But, somehow, Regina managed to slip into a much needed sleep with her son in her arms.
But, just like her waking hours, her slumbering ones consisted of thoughts and dreams of a certain blonde.
The breeze was warm and welcoming as she entered the clearing only to find it empty, no sign that anyone had ever even been there. Briefly she wondered if she had imagined the makeshift camp, but when she saw that it was definitely vacant, carried on.
Her clothes were destroyed. One leg of her jeans gone from the knee down, the other ripped and flapping. The material clung to her body and as it dried restricted her movements. But she carried on anyway, wincing as the air came in contact with the large gash across her abdomen, the once gray tank top now sporting a crimson colour.
For someone who had just been tossed around under the sea and lashed back and forth between rocks, she could have looked worse.
Emma didn't know how she was still alive, the fall alone should have killed her. The smack as she hit the water had been unforgivable and the lungful of sea water she had ingested had been painful. From the screams she had produced under water she had almost drowned, and now her throat and vocal cords were paying for it.
"Up here." Gruff and hoarse, she nodded ahead and began to walk up the incline, expecting her company to follow.
Beside her a young woman walked. Tall and blonde, much like herself. Tinker Bell was her name, or so she had been told. And she had saved her life the previous night. She had pulled her from the water and brought her back from the brink of death. Emma's survival had surprised the fairy, figuring she was a goner for sure when she saw her fall from the cliff.
That was where they were headed—the cliff.
As the edge came into view, Emma swallowed thickly and looked out at the ocean, spotting Hook's ship in the very far distance, sailing away. The feeling of being left behind was all too strong, the familiar pull of abandonment making her nauseous.
Emma grabbed the spyglass from Tink and with her left eye squinted in through the end. Moving it outward she was able to see the ship more clearly and, more importantly—Regina. She was sat with Henry in her arms while her parents stood beside her, looking completely heartbroken.
Exhaling, she lowered the spyglass with a smile. For someone thought to be dead, for someone watching as her family headed straight for a portal, she looked awfully happy.
"What is it?" Tink asked from beside her, it wasn't the reaction she had been expecting.
"She did it," came Emma's rushed response, the words coming out in a breath. Regina had found Henry, had did as she asked. And in such a little timeframe, too. "They made it. They—" her smile was still there, pulling on her lips, but it was sad. It was devastating, really, as she watched the Jolly Roger disappear into the portal, the once boisterous seas now calm and gentle again.
"—made it…" Emma laughed then, a full laugh that dissolved into sobs as she dropped to her knees and stared at the empty ocean in front of her. She felt a hand on her shoulder and the reassuring squeeze that came with it. And even though she was happy, so very happy that Henry had been found and was most likely now on the waters of Maine, she could hear Regina's voice in the back of her head.
All magic comes with a price.
Yeah, she agreed, it definitely did.