A/N: Hi everyone! This fanfic is going to be a bit of a rollercoaster so strap in tight while you're reading this. I've got the majority of it written out already so you'll never be without a new chapter for long!
This fic takes place after the Charlotte -A reveal. Alison and Elliot ended up getting married, but he's actually just Elliot and not Archer Dunhill or anything in this. But their marriage is anything but perfect and they've been having some serious problems along the way. Emily's been in California for a few years, trying to finish her schooling. It's the winter break before her last semester and she decides it's time to pay a visit home. But maybe that wasn't the best of ideas.
Enjoy xx
"Wedding Bells Were Just Alarms, Caution Tape Around My Heart"
Light flood through the window and silently woke the sleeping blonde in her huge queen size bed. She rolled over and wiped the sleep from her eyes, quickly stealing a glance at the alarm clock on her bedside table.
7:00am. Two more hours until I'm supposed to be up, she thought to herself.
Leaving the warmth of her bed, she quietly tiptoed downstairs, the need for a hot cup of coffee dictating all of her decisions. She paused briefly to glance into her living room, smiling as she saw her four best friends fast asleep, sprawled out across the couch and on the floor, sleeping off the crazy night they had the night before.
She stole a glance at herself in the kitchen window while waiting for the coffee pot to warm up.
"I'm getting married today," she said, smiling to herself.
As she grabbed a coffee mug out of the cabinet above her, she heard footsteps coming up behind her. She turned to see one of her bridesmaids in the doorway, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
"Hey, I didn't wake you up, did I?" Ali asked, as grabbed another mug from the cabinet and set it on the counter, ignoring the unpleasant feeling that just settled in the bottom of her stomach.
"No, no, I've been awake for a while. What are you doing up so early?"
"Couldn't fall back asleep," Ali said, putting milk and two sugars into the black coffee before she handed it to the girl standing next to her, their fingers brushing for less than a moment. But long enough to send a burning sensation all throughout Ali's body. She tried to shake away the feeling. She was getting married today, to the man that she loved.
"Nerves?"
"No, not really. I think I'm just more impatient. After months and months of planning I'm glad it's finally here. And I can't tell you how thankful I am to have you and the rest of the girls up there with me today. It means the world to me," Ali said, trying her best to speak as though she wasn't aching to feel the girl's skin against hers again. She quickly sat down at her kitchen table, praying that the distance would aid her.
"It means the world to us, Ali. We're all really happy for you and Elliot."
"And you guys are really okay with Charlotte being my maid of honor, right? I mean, I know that it's going to be weird considering what we've all gone through but—"
"Ali, we already told you that it's fine the last 100 times you asked us," a slight chuckle coming from the other girl, making Ali smile slightly, "We've all seen her since she's been in Welby and she seems to be doing a lot better. And besides, she's your sister, Ali. Regardless of everything that's happened, you deserve to have all of us up there, your whole family there with you."
Ali smiled shyly. Not really having a proper response, she busied herself by getting more coffee, trying not to wake the rest of the girls.
"So, have you heard from Elliot yet?"
"I haven't checked my phone yet. But I'm sure he didn't get much sleep last night either, it sounded like they had a pretty big night planned," Ali said, making her way back towards the table. There was yearning deep in her chest to reach over and grab one of the golden-toned hands that were resting right across from her.
They both sat in silence for a little while. There were so many things left unsaid between the two but neither of them could seem to find the words to say what they wanted to. They'd both agreed to let each other move on, it was what was right. But why was it so hard?
"I should probably start getting ready," Ali said, trying to cut the tension.
"Yeah, of course."
They both stood up from the kitchen table, Ali moved to head up the stairs to her bathroom.
"Ali?" came from the woman behind her.
"Yeah?" Ali said, spinning around, her deep blue eyes meeting chocolate brown ones.
"I just wanted to say that I really am happy for you. You and Elliot deserve all the happiness in the world."
Ali blinked the tears from her eyes, "Thank you, Em. It means the world to hear that."
"Of course. But as a bridesmaid, it's my duty to offer my services while I still can. I'll drive the getaway car. We can be in upstate New York before the other girls yet up."
They both laughed, glad that the tension was dispersing.
"I think I'm good, Em, thanks," Ali said, pretending as though the thought hadn't already crossed her mind.
"Okay. Well, you know where to find me if you change your mind."
"You'll be the first to know."
They smiled at each other as they parted ways, Ali headed up to her bedroom and Emily headed into the living room to wake the rest of the girls, both of them with a feeling in the pit of their stomach they couldn't quite explain.
"And now, ladies and gentlemen, if you could please stand and help me welcome the newly married couple to the dance floor. Please give it up for Mr. and Mrs. Elliot Rollins!"
The reception hall exploded with applause and cheers as Alison and Elliot made their way to the middle of the dance floor. Emily looked fondly at Ali, trying to focus on the way Elliot made her smile and laugh, and not all the 'what ifs' and 'what should have beens' that were running a mile a minute in her head.
She's happy, Emily reminded herself over and over, really happy.
One by one couples started to join them on the dance floor and the party started up once again, everyone sharing in the pleasant buzz of having a few drinks in their system, all adding to the happy energy that was emitting from the room.
Emily looked at all her best friends out on the floor dancing, Hanna and Caleb, Spencer and Toby, and Aria and Ezra, all in love and all happy. Even Charlotte was there dancing with one of Jason's friends.
She looks happy, too, Emily thought, everyone looks so happy out there.
As the song ended and a faster one started up, more people started to join the floor, the party really beginning. Emily herself didn't feel like dancing, even when Hanna had begged her to come up and do their dance routine to Katy Perry's California Girls that they thought up in freshman year of high school.
"Not feeling much like dancing?" Emily heard from behind her. She put down her champagne and turned to see Alison, in all her bridal glory, staring down at her. She had completely taken Emily's breath away.
Emily tried her hardest not to stare at Alison. She always knew Ali would make the most beautiful bride in the world, but she never thought she'd be watching Ali walking down the aisle to someone who wasn't her.
"Not right now. My feet are killing me from these heels. I'll catch the next one," Emily said as Alison sat down next to her. She knew that Ali didn't believe her, but Alison also knew better than to press.
"The wedding was beautiful, Ali. And Charlotte looked so happy for you."
"Yeah," Ali agreed, as she reached over for the glass on the table and stole a sip of Emily's champagne, "I think she's really happy she's here. I'm glad she was feeling up to it."
Silence enveloped them once again, but they were content just sitting next to each other, both thinking the same thing: sometimes it's better to say nothing at all than to say the wrong thing.
"So when do you head back to school?" Ali asked, as she handed the champagne back to Emily.
"My flight leaves tomorrow afternoon. Just enough time for me to get settled in before the summer semester starts up."
"I'm really glad you decided to go back, Em. I know it was really hard for you, especially having to start from the beginning again. But I'm really proud of you."
Emily smiled. Not knowing exactly how to respond, Emily decided to change the subject, "So, you never told me where you and Elliot decided to go on your honeymoon."
Ali, who was finishing off their shared glass of champagne and ordering another from a passing waiter, was grateful for the change of subject, "Oh, yeah! We're going to Fiji! It's supposed to be incredible there."
"Fiji? I would have thought you would have convinced him to go to Paris?" Emily said, remembering all the days spent with her head in Ali's lap as Ali talked endlessly about the Eiffel Tower and the French Riviera, all of the promises made to take each other there one day.
"I tried! But he wanted to go somewhere really tropical and exotic. Maybe I can convince him to take me for my birthday." Ali's stomach churned at the thought.
That was supposed to be our place, she thought to herself.
"When do you guys leave?"
"Our flight's at 7am. And we're there for 3 weeks," Ali said, suddenly unable to look Emily in the eye.
"So I guess this is gonna be the last time we'll see each other for a while then, huh?" Emily asked, staring down at her feet.
"Yeah, I guess it is. But you'll be home for Christmas, right? We'll see each other then," Ali said, blinking away tears in her eyes, grateful that Emily wasn't looking.
"Yeah, of course," Emily said. She knew very well that Ali knew Emily wasn't coming home for Christmas, but she knew that this was easier for the both of them than saying goodbye. They had said goodbye to each other too many times over the years, they both wouldn't be able to deal with another one, especially today.
"You better text me when you land in California, okay? So I know you got there safely."
"Absolutely! And call me when you guys get home from Fiji, I wanna hear all about it."
"You'll be the first person I call," Ali replied, as she let the silence engulf them once more.
After a few more minutes, Ali thought it would be best for her to get up and join the rest of her guests, that unexplainable feeling from the morning settling in once again and making her feel like she was going to throw up.
"I should probably go join the rest of the guests," Ali said.
"Yeah, I think I saw Elliot looking for you," Emily pointed in the direction of the crowd.
"Yeah. Promise me you won't sit here all night, okay? You owe me at least one dance!"
"Of course! Ali, thank you for having me up there with you today. It meant the world to me, to all of us, to be there with you."
"I couldn't have done it without you," Ali said, before she thought better of herself and added, "all of you."
Ali leaned over and hugged Emily to her, both of them grateful the other couldn't see their face, it would have been too hard. And if they held on to each other longer than they probably should, no one noticed.
"Love you, Em."
"Love you, too."
Ali stood up and gave Emily's hand one last squeeze before she left. Both of them feeling crushed under the true weight of those words.
"You okay, love?"
Ali looked up to see her husband looking down on her with a concerned face.
I love him, I do. I love…him.
"Oh yeah, I'm fine. Emily's just leaving for school tomorrow and we just realized we probably won't be seeing each other for a while."
"Oh, okay. Well, you know that she's welcome to come stay with us when she comes home for breaks. I know you'll miss her a lot."
Elliot bent down and kissed her sweetly. Alison cut it short, she knew that Emily was watching her, but she wasn't really sure why it mattered.
But she couldn't ignore the screaming in her head, telling her she made the wrong choice, that she possibly had just made the worst decision of her whole life.
Hanna spotted her best friend sitting alone at the head table, bitterly sipping her champagne. She made her way over and put her hand on Emily's back.
"You okay, Em?"
"Yeah, no, I'm fine!" Emily said, trying her best to paste on whatever kind of face best resembled happy, "Where's Caleb?"
"I left him taking to Toby about some computer processing something, I don't know. So how are you?" Hanna said, sitting in the seat next to Emily.
"Hanna, I already told you that I'm fine. Stop asking."
"Than look in my eyes and not at Ali and tell me that."
Emily looked sheepishly at Hanna, trying to blink away the tears in her eyes. Hanna grabbed her hand and squeezed it comfortingly.
"Still Ali, huh?"
"It'll always be Ali, Han," Emily said, as she downed her champagne glass in one gulp. "But I'm happy for her, I really am."
"I know you are."
"We just weren't right for each other, you know? We never could get it right. But just because it didn't work between us doesn't mean I don't want her to make it work with someone else. And she looks happy. She looks happy. Right, Hanna?"
"Yes, Emily. She looks very happy."
"Good," Emily said, talking around the lump in her throat.
"Okay," Hanna said as she pulled the champagne glass from Emily and put it on the table, "enough champagne. Let's go get you drunk."
"Yes, please," Emily said. She laughed as she let Hanna pull her up from the table and toward the bar, completely missing the fact that Ali hadn't stopped looking at her since Hanna sat down.