The End of a Journey
By Jadax
This was a situation that could only be met with mixed feelings. On one hand, he should be happy; eleven long, hard years of journeying and now, he faced his final step. On the other hand, though, there was a distinct feeling of anxiety at what he had to do here. He was hesitant, who could blame him. All his life he had been aided by the power from this small crystal and now it was time to destroy it.
Lloyd got up from his kneeling position and pulled his twin blades out. He stepped back a few paces from the monument in the center of the clearing and began swinging his swords about. This is how it was when he had been younger. Equipped with the exsphere on his hand and two wooden sticks, the young boy would run out behind the house and practice his swordsmanship. That feeling back then, the feeling his exsphere gave him, only now did Lloyd fully realize what it had been as he attempted to grasp the emotion again one last time.
Genis had once told him that his exsphere felt gentle as he used it. Marble's gentle soul had been lending him power. Lloyd hadn't given Genis's comment too much thought back then, but now he realized that he got a similar sensation from his own exsphere. It was a feeling of protection that had given him confidence in battle. All along, it had been his mother watching over her son when she couldn't be there physically.
That protective feeling was what Lloyd was trying to grasp again and he trained with his swords in front of his mother's grave. This was important, this less vestige of connection with his mother, he had to savor it while it lasted. An impression had to be made in his mind so he would never forget.
As he trained, he realized that the power hadn't always only been just protectiveness though. His mind drifted back to the times when he had trained with his father on the journey of regeneration. The power from the crystal had been different those times, almost a playful, childlike desire to best the teacher. Well, Lloyd certainly couldn't blame his mother for wanting to tease his father, the man was rather stuffy.
Thinking of his father only brought back memories of other different sensations the gem had let off. That fight in the Tower of Salvation, the exsphere had mirrored his furor at being betrayed. The fight in Torrent Forest had been similar, an acute sense of settling things once and for all had emanated from the orb. Yes, this exsphere certainly contained his mother's soul for it to react so differently to Kratos each time Lloyd faced him.
Breathing slowly and deeply from training so hard, he realized he'd miss this. He had been too young, he couldn't remember anymore. Any memory Lloyd ever had of his mother before she died was now buried far in his mind beneath layers of years past. His only chance for reliving that past life was in his exsphere and the feeling of motherly love it was simply bursting with; soon though the crystal would be destroyed and another tie with his almost life would be gone.
He couldn't dwell on thoughts like that. What was done, was done. His mother's life had been taken in order for this jewel to exist, and for that reason he had to put her soul at rest. Her power had been borrowed for far too long. It had been a necessary evil for him to use the exsphere in the fight to reunite the two worlds and then again to free the other souls bound to the exspheres, but both quests were behind him now and there was no excuse to drag out his mother's suffering any longer.
Sheathing his twin blades, he stepped forward to face the gravestone again. Slowly his eyes traced the words on it; they had faded slightly with time, but were still clearly readable. A new name had been added in recent years, shortly before Lloyd left on his second journey. He bent down and outlined the name with a finger. Anna Irving Aurion. After meeting Kratos, Dirk had felt this name would have been the one Anna would have given him the night she died if she hadn't had to protect a young Lloyd from his father's connections, and so, he had chiseled the addition onto the name.
Lloyd's gaze fell from the words down to the ground around the stone slab. Flamberge, a sword with the power of fire, lay on the ground where Lloyd had left it years ago. The elements seemed to have no effect on it. Lloyd grasped the hilt and watched as the blade glinted in the sunlight; this was truly a remarkable sword. Lloyd idly wondered how long Kratos had possessed it. Did he use it to end the Kharlan war alongside Mithos? Had he used it to aid past Chosens in their journeys? Did he use it to kill Anna?
This last thought left Lloyd gazing at the sword uncertainly. Quickly he placed it back on the ground, deciding not to delve into it's past again. Certainly, it had done as many great things as it had done terrible.
Forcing his gaze off the sword wasn't working. It wasn't the crimson blade's past that was bothering him though. Lloyd should have known, any time he faced thoughts of his mother, the unsettled issues with his father automatically came to mind. Flamberge's presence was not helping in Lloyd's futile attempt to smother these thoughts.
Then it happened. It was like a tidal wave had knocked the wind out of him. Every thought he'd ever had about Kratos flooded his mind. The clearest memory in the sea of thoughts though, was the one Lloyd wanted to think of the least. Kratos had left.
Looking back, Lloyd could only curse the fact that he had accepted Kratos's lame excuse for leaving on Derris-Kharlan and damning himself to that lonely existence. He had said he should leave because he was a surviving member of Cruxis and there was no place in the world for someone who had aided Mithos in his twisted plans. But hadn't Yuan stayed? Wouldn't a half-elf of Cruxis be held in more contempt than a human of Cruxis? No, Yuan and Kratos were far past being a half-elf and a human, they were angels, a different life-form completely; they should be held in equal disdain by the people of the world, if any at all seeing as there was to be no discrimination according to one's race.
It didn't even matter what the people in the new world thought though. Lloyd could imagine his father's response to the fact that Yuan stayed in his head. 'Yuan fought against Mithos's plans far longer than I did. I knew Mithos was wrong all along and yet I did nothing, unlike Yuan,' Kratos's voice said, much to Lloyd annoyance. He had a point.
There was another thing that Lloyd wished he had said to Kratos though. Lloyd hadn't toyed with this possibility much as he always felt that it could have swayed his father to stay. Kratos had only wanted to atone for his sins as a member of Cruxis, right? Instead of leaving the new world, afraid to taint it with his presence, he could have stayed and purged the new land of remnants from Cruxis. He could have helped destroy the exspheres! What better way to atone for the sins of Cruxis than to free the souls trapped in the exspheres?
This probably wouldn't have gone over too well with Kratos. After all, the man had lost his only love to this very issue, but that should have persuaded him all the more. Anna was the reason Lloyd took on the journey in first place; Kratos may have felt the same way if he had been confronted with the offer. Lloyd shook his head hard, as if trying to shake the thought out. 'What ifs' were not a healthy thing to dwell on.
His gaze fell on Flamberge again. Kratos had killed Anna under the impression that it would free her from her suffering as that terrible monster. A dangerous thought floated along the edges of Lloyd's mind and he forcefully steered his train of thought away from Clara and the Unicorn Horn. Her physical body was long gone.
Her soul wasn't though. Carefully Lloyd removed the exsphere from the Key Crest on his hand. The orb shimmered oddly as he placed it on top of the gravestone. Kratos would have wanted to do this, he was sure of it. Lloyd picked up Flamberge again and pointed it determinedly at the crystal. "Dad, you get to free Mom for real this time," he choked at the end and felt tears well up in his eyes. He pulled the sword back, ready to swing, and blinked the tears away, "Thank you, Mom, for everything." The red blade cut through the air, shattering the tiny crystal. Lloyd didn't bother suppressing his cries as he watched the pieces fall to the ground, himself following as sobs racked his body.