Diclaimer - The characters aren't mine!
Ok so it's another Kim/Jimmy story that I just felt the need to write. Not to sure if I'm liking it all that much but I thought I'd post it anyway. Any feedback is more than welcome! Enjoy!
I love her. I never stopped loving her. I never wanted to. I want to rewind the last 5 years, go back in time to when I was so young and naïve. If I could I would do everything differently. She would never have been hurt and I would love her the way she deserves to be loved. Always.
I watch her as she sits at the table at the firehouse laughing with the guys her green eyes lighting up the entire room. I sit opposite her watching her and only her and when our eyes meet across the table that familiarity and love that sparkles in those eyes makes the whole world feel warm even though it's the middle of winter.
I want to tell her then and there just how much I love her. Just how much I've always loved her but there don't seem to be enough words in the English language to truly describe how I feel for her. When she's in my arms I feel like I'm home that my life is finally complete and I never want that feeling to end. Through the years I've been with a lot of women, she's been with her fair share of other guys, we've both suffered pain and loss and learned to live with the scars that come with them.
Even though so much has changed in our lives we've managed to find each other again. I somehow knew we would. I couldn't imagine the rest of my life without her in it. She makes my life worth living. She's everything to me. My sun, my moon, my light and dark. She gives me a reason to get up every morning and she gave me a reason to redeem myself and become a better person – a grown up.
When I think back I wish there was a way that I could make her forget all the horrible things I did. Erase all those bad memories for her and leave her with only the good things in our marriage to remember. But then I can't help by think that perhaps had things not happened they way they did we might not have ended up together again. Maybe we needed the time apart, some time to grow up, find ourselves before we found each other again.
And as the years passed and time began to heal the hurt every day we watched each other grow and change and the gap that had sprung between us got narrower and narrower. As she dealt with the ups and downs of her world and me with my own I realized that the love I thought had died was burning stronger than ever. I think deep down I knew I still loved her just as much as I always had whether she felt the same way or not but it just seemed to hard so I denied what I felt, let it come across in other ways that proved destructible and childish.
Life threw us a curve ball when we lost 2 of our closest friends and firehouse family members and all of a sudden we both found that comfort we were so desperately seeking in each other. To be in that familiar embrace again despite the circumstances was a dream come true for me. She needed me and less obviously I needed her too. She knew me and she knew when I was hurting when no one else could have guessed and that comforted me beyond belief.
And as life carried on and the wounds healed from our loss the comfort seemed to grow into something else. A friendship, stronger than it had ever been in the past.
Then the day came when I looked at her and saw that love that I felt for her so deeply burning within her own beautiful green eyes. With that look we both knew that we had finally come home to each other and it had been a long weary journey.