The Cheery Voldie Crackfic Show

by Falcitus

A crackfic based around Lord Voldemort. Treated as some sort of written show. Set in the First War. Crackficcy. Implied VoldemortxBellatrix. Very faintly implied Voldemort/Bartemius Jr--Barty follows Voldie around.

Episode 1: Voldemort Wants to Be Cheery

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Warning: Contains humorous (or possibly nonhumorous, I don't know) interpretations of the Death Eaters that may depart from canon.

Author's Note: This is going to be written in 'episodes.' They are not proper episodes. They are only a way of making the fic into a sort of written show. Two short episodes to a chapter. I know the plots don't make any sense. They're not supposed to. If you review, you can have pizza. Oh, yeah, sorry for the short episode; I got writer's block halfway through.

Lord Voldemort woke up. He found himself satisfied with being a Lord, though he wasn't actually lord of anything. And if he was satisfied with what he had, why was he trying to achieve the impossible and take over the world? His mind refused to come to terms with that thought. Instead it had the thought executed. No, I don't know how you execute a thought. He could not stop taking over the world. He was VOLDEMORT. But he could try to be cheerful about it. He could even try to tolerate the attentions of Bellatrix and Bartemius. He couldn't tolerate them happily, but he could tolerate them.