Living with the Annoyance
(and Loving Every Minute of it)
"I'm sorry."
"John, it's not your fault."
"No, it's not my fault. It's bloody Sherlock's, but I can't blame him for it."
"Of course not; I'm not asking you to."
John spun his coffee cup around slightly, staring at the tabletop. He should have expected this. He really should have. Sarah, breaking up with him. Well, after her first meeting with Sherlock and the circus and the resulting kidnapping that had come from it, John missing out on dates because he was getting kidnapped, not to mention the urge embedded within him to follow Sherlock everywhere and into everything... He should have expected it. Maybe a part of him did.
"John," Sarah stated. He looked up. "I'm not asking you to choose between me and Sherlock. I know you can't do that. I know you wouldn't choose me. No," she continued, as John opened his mouth to interrupt. "It's true. You know it is."
John shook his head slightly, not in denial, but dull exasperation, pressing his fingers against his eyes.
"Look, I'm not mad at you or anything. I know, I... I can see that what you two have is stronger than any relationship."
John dropped his hands. "Sarah-"
"No, I don't believe the rumours, if that's what you're about to say. It's not like that with you two. It's not romantic or anything. It's a type of friendship that everybody should have but most people don't. You'd take a bullet for him, John. You'd risk your life for him, over and over again. I know how close you are, and I can see that there's not room for another person in your life right now."
John sighed heavily, leaning back in the chair. "Sa- oh, I don't-" He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He wasn't used to break-ups; time in the war hadn't exactly given him time for dating. He also wasn't used to serious on this side of the spectrum. Usually, John's serious involved impending murder nowadays.
Plus, the fact that Sarah had hit the nail head-on, right off the bat. There wasn't room for someone else in his life right now. Sherlock was a selfish sod, but John couldn't fathom the thought of choosing someone else over him right now. He needed Sherlock. He didn't know if Sherlock needed him, but he needed Sherlock.
"You don't have to say anything, John."
"No, I really do, I just..." He stopped, shaking his head. "You're right. Of course you're right. That's so stupid, but you're right. I- I'm not even sure how to describe what it is Sherlock and I... have," he finished lamely.
"You need each other. It's as simple as that. It doesn't need an explanation."
"He's an arse," John stated bluntly. "He's annoying and arrogant and stuck-up, socially awkward, emotionally-lacking, rude, blunt, and-"
"And you couldn't live without him," Sarah interrupted.
John smiled frankly. "Yeah. Yeah, no, I couldn't. Not anymore."
Sarah smiled lightly. John could spot everything that he had first noticed in her, everything that had made him fall in love with her. Nothing had changed, not now, not really. He was still in love with her.
But she was right. Sherlock was John's number one priority right now.
He laughed slightly, raising his coffee cup to his lips. When he had moved in with Sherlock Holmes, he hadn't expected any of this.
And the funny thing was... he wouldn't have it any other way.
Inspired by the Inspector Lewis quote:
"Ah, he's an awkward sod at the best of times, God knows, but he's my awkward sod."