Dating Can Have Consequences - e.g., Turning Each Other Gay

A/N: Why did I write this? Well, it's a long story. I got bored. Apparently not that long. Anyway, enjoy.

Disclaimer: Joss Wheddon owns the Buffyverse. :3

There was a knock on the door. "I got it!" Andrew called up the stairs. Buffy smiled. This was why Andrew had been allowed to continue living in their new house – he did all the helpful stuff like answering the door and phone, and doing most of the chores. "Hello?" He asked, opening the door. On the other side stood a short, blondey-brown haired person. Andrew swallowed. He was cute. "Who are you?"

"Oz." The boy replied. "Is Willow there? I kinda need to talk to her."

"Oh, you're Oz, huh?" He reached out and poked Oz's arm. When he gave Andrew a weird look, he replied with a shrug. "It's this test; we do it to everyone that calls to check they're not the First. Sorry. Um, Willow, it's for you!" He called up.

Willow frowned as she walked down the stairs with Kennedy. "Who is it? What do they- Oz?" She asked in a disbelieving tone.

Kennedy sniggered. "This is Oz?" She asked. "The one that broke your heart? He's a bit short, isn't he?"

"Um, can you leave us alone for a minute? And you, Andrew." Willow gave her girlfriend a look when she refused. "Please?"

Kennedy sighed. "Fine. I'll go where someone actually wants me. Faith?" She called out, wandering off.

"Faith's here?" Oz asked.

Willow nodded. "She's good though. A lot has changed since you left. For starters, there's Spike. He came back, he was really evil, then he got a chip which meant he couldn't hurt humans, then he fell in love with Buffy, then he went away and got his soul back for Buffy, which is so romantic, then the chip was removed, then he died to save the world. Oh, and I totally missed out the part where for ages, Buffy was sleeping with him behind our backs. And me, I turned lesbian and got a girlfriend, then she was shot and I turned all evil and tried to kill everyone, then Xander saved me with love, and then the potentials came, and then I started dating Kennedy, who's the girl you just saw.

"Oh, and there's Anya and Xander. They got together, and then they fell in love and Xander asked Anya to marry him, and she said yes, obviously, and everything was all arranged really nice and everything, and then Xander dumped Anya at the altar. So she went and got her powers back, and then killed a lot of people and then she and Xander slept together, but only after she slept with Spike, and then she died to save Andrew, who's the one who opened the door. And are you jealous of me for being here and do you wish you had been here?"

Oz laughed. "Definitely. I missed you, Willow."

She smiled. "I missed you, too. Should I tell Buffy you're here? And introduce you to everyone?"

He shrugged. "Well, I'm happy with that. As long as no-one hates me."

"Of course they won't! Buffy? Guess who's here?" She yelled upwards.

"Spike, back from the grave? Angel, popping in before disappearing back into the unknown again? Um, another potential? Giles? Wait, he lives here. Ooh, it is..." she walked down the rest of the stairs. "Oh, it's Oz. Hi, Oz. How've you been?"

"Werewolf. You?"

"Dead."

"Oh."

"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that. She died, went to Heaven, was pulled out by me which I still feel sorry for, which was why she was sleeping with Spike, because she could take his anger out on him and he wouldn't mind. He was kind of like her sex sla-"

Buffy coughed. "Willow. Please. Don't. So, are you just telling Oz everything that's happened since he went?"

Willow nodded. "Trying to make him wish he'd never left."

"Oh. Okay. Although, if he hadn't left, you would never have realised you were gay, and never would have gotten with Tara or Ken." Buffy pointed out.

Willow held a cross up towards Oz. "Leave, now, before you infect me with your straightness!" She grinned at her ex, who smiled back, looking relieved that she seemed to be joking.

"You know, I've heard it's not infectious, so you don't need to worry." Oz said.

"Oh, good. That's a relief." Willow said, grinning again.

"What's a relief? Oh, Oz. Hi." Xander poked his head around the door to greet Oz.

"Hey, Xander. What happened to your eye?"

"Oh, yeah, I forgot that part too." The redhead said. "Xander lost an eye."

"You forgot about my loss of eye? That's comforting." Xander complained.

Buffy shrugged. "Don't feel bad. She forgot about my death."

"No, you guys, it's just that I'm used to them. I'm sorry. So, how long are you staying?"

He shrugged. "However long I need to. I gotta talk to you, Will.

Xander pointed a finger at him. "Don't even think of trying to take her back and then breaking her heart again. I may only have one eye now, but that doesn't need I'm handicapped. I can manage perfectly fine with punching someone in the eye."

Willow patted Xander on the arm. "It's okay. Besides, I still have my evil, witchy powers that can do stuff to him. I'll be okay."

When Oz and Willow were alone, he took in a deep breath. "Okay. Right. I came to you because, well, because you're Willow and... okay, I'm just gonna say it. I think I'm gay. Like when that guy answered the door, I thought to myself that he was cute. But I'm not sure. I don't know. Help?"

Willow's eyes widened and she started to laugh. "Oh, really? Wow." She giggled a little but more. "Okay, stopping laughing now. No, I'm sorry." She was off again, laughing.

Oz glared at her for a second, before relaxing. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, well, we turned each other gay," she managed, before cracking up again. Oz started to laugh too, realising what she meant and why she was laughing so much. They ended up clutching on to each other, before they were about to fall over from laughter.

"What's going on- oh, good lord." Buffy frowned. "'Oh good lord'? What am I saying? I'm turning into some sort of she-Giles. Now that's scary. What's so funny?" She asked them as they continued to laugh, holding their stomachs. "Hello?"

Willow giggled before saying, "Well, we managed to turn each other gay," and then they were both off again.

Buffy frowned at the two of them, and shook her head. "What's up?" Xander called down the stairs.

"Oh, Will and Oz turned each other gay, nothing really."

Andrew poked his head out of the living room, suddenly looking interested. "Oh, really?"

Buffy sighed and rolled her eyes. "Andrew, if you like him, just go and ask him out. Honestly."

"But what if-"

"GO. You look fine, he won't say no, and make sure you don't criticise him on being a werewolf. He doesn't like it."

"He's a werewolf? How come?" Andrew asked.

Buffy shrugged. "Long story."

"He got bit." Xander explained, coming down the stairs.

"Apparently not that long. Now, GO. Before I have to literally force you out of that door." She opened it, and dragged Willow in. "Will. I need to talk to you. Andrew, GO." She hissed, before shutting the door and smiling innocently at her best friend. The three of them peered through the glass, and 'aww'ed when they Oz and Andrew started hugging. Unfortunately, they weren't quick enough to duck when Oz turned and looked at it, and got a rock thrown at the door.

"You're paying for that!" Buffy called as the door dented.

A/N: Hello! That was random. Anyway, REVIEW! Go, my minions, go!