A Day in the Life of Me!

By Alice Cullen

In the mornings I like to make breakfast. I'll cook and cook and cook, and sometimes I will even burn what I'm cooking. Emmett says that my cooking takes like sheet. I think that that's a nice way of saying good, right? Once he even stuck up his middle finger at me. I asked him what it meant and he said "It's a peace offering." So I went skipping into town showing everyone how much I loved peace. When I went to the butcher shop and Mr. Niceman gave me my gallon of animal blood, I showed him my peace offering. He smacked me, though. I guess he doesn't support peace :*(.

But anyways, when Emmett says that my food tastes like sheet, I usually pretend to cry quietly. Well, I basicly do that every morning. Then mommy has to come and comfort me. Then she yells at Emmett, "Can't you be nice?" and he will flip over the table and start to scream things that I don't understand because I'm too busy seeing the future. Today I saw that Mommy was gonna give me a lollipop, and yesterday I saw that Emmett would go to a bar and drink beer even though he doesn't like it, then he would beat Rosalie, his wife. And guess what? It happened. Then Rosalie moved out after screaming a few things back at Emmett.

After I cook breakfast, I go out and feed it to the birdies, because my kind of people don't like to eat food. The birdies will peck peck at my black pancakes. Sometimes I will move, just to see the birdies fly away. Edward is never home in the morning, or at night. He is always with Bella Swan, his girlfriend. He asked her to marry him. I thought it was the cutest thing in the world.

When Edward gets home, he takes me to the tennis court, where we play tennis all day. That's cause I'm a tennis champ. Sometimes he will hit it so hard that it goes way out of my reach. Then I will say "Oh look how hard you whacked it!" Then he will fall to the floor, laughing. I don't know why. He always beats me at tennis, anyway.

When Edward takes me home, I go up to my room and read a book. Usually Jasper will come and cuddle with me, but I need my space, so sometimes I will tell him to go away. When I do, he kisses me on the cheek and walks out. But that makes me feel like kissing someone's cheek. So I skip downstairs and kiss everyone on the cheek. Except Rosalie. Cause she's gone.

Sometimes Bella will come over and play power rangers with me. I'm always the pink power ranger, and she is the green one. We will fight the mean monster (that's Edward) and save the town (my room). Sometimes, when Bella is over, we will have a dance off. Everyone plays, except for Rosalie, cause she's in Las Vegas or something. I'll get my tu-tu on and start to break dance. Then Edward will come and do the robot. Bella's always last because she hates dancing. But when it is her turn, she will stand there and ball her hands into fists, moving them in circles in front of her. Then she will fall and stumble into Edward's arms.

At night, Bella has to go home. She will pout, like I do when I want a new toy, until Edward finally comes home to spend the night with her. He promises me that he just watches her while she sleeps, but I don't believe him. What's the fun in watching someone sleep? I think they do other things.

So once Edward is gone, I shake up my own martini to drink. I only drink them because I look cool when I do. Mommy gets mad because she doesn't like me drinking. But I do it anyway. Then I will go up to my room and lay on my bed and close my eyes. I cant sleep, but when Jasper finds me like that, he thinks it's cute. So he will come and cuddle with me. I like it when Jasper and I cuddle at night. It's different from when I'm reading. He tells me he loves me and I tell him that I want some gummy bears. Jasper loves me so much, that he actually goes to the store and buys me some, right then and there. So I will be eating my gummy bears and Emmett will come in and see me eating them. He will scream and say stuff like 'only I can eat grizzlies' then he will take them from me. This has happened like a bazzilion times.

Oh well. So that's basicly my day. Sometimes we will all go and play baseball, but not tonight. Tonight I fell like cuddling with my J-man, and thinking about my good day. Tonight I feel like being Alice Cullen. As I cuddle with Jasper, I close my eyes. I can't sleep, but who says that I can't dream?

-Alice Cullen.