The Full Dark Authors Saga

by Saberflame

Most of you probably don't remember me or many of the people in this story, but here it is. I'm still working on the display

Dark Authors Saga: The beginning.

Izzy and the other digidestined were discussing something.

"All I'm saying is that there is always an equal and opposite reaction to everything." Izzy explained.

"I still don't think that its possible." Joe said again.

"If there were opposites of us then wouldn't we have met them?" Tai asked.

"No, because they would be in another dimension." Izzy said exasperated, "My theory is that we would have opposites

of ourselves in one of the infinite number of alternate dimensions, and if we had opposites, why wouldn't the Dark

Masters?"

"Let me get this straight." Sora sighed "You're going to try to open a rift in dimensions and try to bring a set of "Light

Masters" here?"

"Yes" Izzy said relived that somebody understood him.

"How exactly are you going to find them?" Matt asked. "Its not like they're going to wearing name tags."

"Power signatures," Izzy said simply "The Dark Masters are the most powerful single things in the Digiworld right? So I

will call the strongest signals from the other dimensions where they reside."

"That sounds cool!" TK exclaimed "Lets do it!"

Patomon looked at TK from his perch on the helmet. "You don't even know what that meant, do you?" He said wryly.

The Digidestined discussed this for a while and eventually decided to go through with it. Izzy sat and programmed for

quite some time.

"There!" Izzy whooped "I've locked on to the four strongest signatures! They should be coming through now."

Four rifts opened in the dimensional barrier. They disappeared and in their place stood four humanoid figures. "All right

Izzy!" Agumon cheered "You did it!"

Tentomon began hovering backwards in fear. "What's wrong?" Izzy asked his monster friend.

"Those aren't what we were looking for." He said nervously "Something's wrong,"

"The bug catches on fast," One of the figures said as it stepped into the light. "You asked for the rivals of the four most powerful creatures in your realm... Unfortunately for you, those aren't the dark masters." The figure looked like

an average person except for the fact that it wore a dark colored paper bag over its head. In one of its hands it held a blob of a transparent substance. It wore a leather jacket that had images of water on it that seemed to flow from one

part to another as he moved. "I'm afraid we have bigger fish to fry than your Dark Masters. Now if you'll just get out of my way-"

"You're not going anywhere!" Matt said as he stepped in front of the figure. "We called you here, and we can just send you back if we want to! We went through a lot of trouble to bring you here and we expect you to help!" Matt said defiantly. (Matt is still in his "huge jerk" phase at this point)

"Matt!" Izzy hissed "Its a lot easier to call something than to force it away! I don't know if I can do it!"

"Now you tell us!" Gabumon moaned. The blob in the figures hand began to quiver and shake. In moments it formed itself into a sword, and it then hardened into a blade formed from an ice like substance. "Gabumon warp digivolveto..... Metal Garurumon!!!" The small Digimon said as he turned into a much larger beast.

Garurumon blocked the sword the figure swung with his paw. The blade stuck to the wolf's skin and began to melt. The liquid flowed upward and into several of the many missile hatches on Metal Garurumon's body, while the monster

desperately tried to shake it off. The hatches opened and volleys of missiles fired out. The freeze torpedoes hit the other Digidestined and mons before they had a chance to react, freezing them solid.

Matt looked in horror at his friend, who now had ice creeping up their bodies. "How are you doing this?!" He demanded in terror as several missiles hit him and the now de-digivolved Gabumon.

"I'm an author." The figure said quietly as the ice rose over Matt's head. "I can do anything I want."

The four figures looked at the frozen Digidestined. The spokesperson stepped forward and picked up Izzy laptop from where he had dropped it during the battle. "Come on people, we have some friends to call. Then, some old enemies to visit." He began typing and several more rifts began to open.

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Saberflame sat down in front of his laptop. He felt relieved to be free of Stardragons galaxy. He decided to go back to writing fanfiction after the short absence. Actually, due to the altered speed of light in a black hole in comparison to Einstein's special theory of relativity (the scary part is I actually know what this means), he came out of the living galaxy several hours after entering. Well thus is life. He opened the file he had been working on. Then he glanced at what was written.... he did a double take. "The Digidestined are frozen in a sheet of unyielding ice." He read aloud "What's going on?! I never wrote that!"

"I did," a voice behind him said. Saberflame recognized that voice. He whirled around with his sword drawn.

"Ordyhevnal," He growled "So nice to see you again."

(In case anybody wants to know Ordyhevnal is pronounced OR-de-HEAVE-naul)

"Funny," His nemesis spat "You didn't seem so excited to see me last time."

Saberflame lunged forward a swiped his sword through Ordyhevnal's torso. The blade passed through and Ordyhevnal's body reconnected to itself an inch behind where the blade separated it. When the blade came out the other side the only evidence that anything had happened was a slight steam rising from his sword. "You didn't actually think you could defeat me? Did you?" Ordyhevnal mocked.

"No," Saberflame said calmly "I thought I would just settle for eternal imprisonment, but you're back."

"No, in fact it worked quite nicely. Then it just so happens that your Izzy friend made a slight miscalculation." The warrior of water shrugged. "Now I'm back, and not too happy with you." He said as his liquid orb congealed into a

morningstar.

"Blazing Phoenex Strike!"

"Power Of TheTide!"

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Mysterious trudged down to wherever she lives. Once the door to her secret lair had shut behind her she turned on the lights. "There you are!" A voice said, making her jump "You really need to fix this place up." she continued "So I

thought as long as I was here I'd give you some help."

Mysterious turned slowly to face the speaker. The first thing she noticed was the area behind the intruder, it was decorated with throw pillows, wallpaper and a CARPET! It was all in summer colors too! The very sight of it made the reclusive author grit her teeth. Then he looked at the person. She recognized her as Flying High, he was wearing tie-dye cargo pants, a shirt with a big smiley face on it, and sandals. "What are *you* doing here?" Mysterious oozed.

"I've just come to visit." Flying said as she straightened some of the decorations she put up. "Ever since you banished me to the vortex of pain its been so long since I've seen you! What have you been up to?"

"Enjoying life without you." Mysterious said threateningly. Then she grinned as if remembering something and waved her hand

The security system in the house activated, finally recognizing the intruder. Several openings appeared in the wall. A laser rifle emerged from each and they leveled themselves at Flying High. "Now that isn't very friendly." Flying said as

she made a similar gesture.

After years of disuse the security system became decrepit. The wires had frayed, the gears had rusted and it was generally not working well. Some of the guns fell out of their holes with the sound of hinges breaking. Others simply

emitted a dull clicking noise without firing. "We both have the same powers that we gained when we became authors." Flying explained, smiling as she relaxed on a throw pillow. "We automatically counter each other every time we try to use them."

"So what you're saying is," Mysterious said as she picked up one of the fallen guns "We're going to have to do this the old fashioned way?"

"That's not exactly what I meant," Flying said, as she ducked under the swinging metal tube.

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Bob The Conquerer returns to his empire. He uses the secret passage to return to his control room. He begins talking

into a video link on his laptop that he retrieved after he left Stardragon. "What's Our status?"

"Rob's forces are still coming on strong." the person said "However, since they are leaderless, they lack organization.

At this pace the battle should be over with minimum losses."

"Good," Bob responded as he began to slow down his jog. "Tell me if I'm needed."

Bob glanced ahead of him in the tunnel and saw someone wearing bright, cheery, neon clothes. He noticed that it clashed horribly with his black cape outfit. He reflected on his decision to keep his passageways well lit and completely

free of sight obstructing pillars. It did cut down on the gloomy affect that it created, but it prevented people from being ambushed in the halls. Then he snapped out of this train of though as he realized that he knew that dressing

style from somewhere. He stopped, "Rob? I thought you were dead!"

"You were right." The warlords twin said. "But since then a "friend" of Saberflame's found my remains and cloned me! Now I'm back and finally able to resolve our differences."

"Resolve our differences?" Bob asked, puzzled "You mean you want to stop the argument we've had since before either of us could remember?"

"Of course!" Rob exclaimed "The one about our different lifestyles!" Rob said in a friendly way, then his eyes narrowed. "The argument will be perfectly resolved, when you are dead!"

"Wait a second!" Bob yelled back "That's not quite what "resolving" means!.... That's not even how cloning works either! Cloning works by-"

"I don't care!" Rob said quickly "I'm an author now, and it will work any way I so choose!"

"Sir!" the tactical advisor shouts over the comlink on the laptop "They're re-grouping! They're much more organized now!"

"Don't bother answering him." Rob said calmly. "I'm now blocking all outcoming signals from the area." Rob said as he drew his sword. "En Guard!" he said leaping forward.

Bob looked at his adversary and shook his head. "Evil Overlord rule number forty three," He quoted ":Don't fight like a man, fight like an Evil Overlord." Having said this Bob draws his Vegitiser shotgun from under his cloak and fires once at Rob.

"NNNOOOOO!!" Rob shouts as his skin begins to turn brown and get prickly. Bob didn't wait to see the rest of the transformation, instead he took off down the corridor to his main headquarters. Moments later a grumbling pineapple

starts hopping the opposite way to retrieve its stash of human stones.

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Darth Bowser returns to his castle, intent on celebrating after a successful rescue mission. "I wonder if I'm going to get some reward." he said as he crossed the drawbridge over his moat of lava. One of his loyal subjects (picture the

classic Turtles and Goombas from the games wearing storm trooper outfits) hands him his laptop as he enters. He opens his e-mail to see if he received anything. He sifted through various messages about insurance and thank you

messages from the authors he had risked life and limb to save. Then he saw something he had been expecting for quite some time, it was a message from the mushroom kingdom. They were ready to negotiate about his most recent

kidnapping of princess toadstool. "So, they are sending a negotiator eh?" He said as he picked up a drink. He poured the soda through the grill on his mask. "I wonder who it is this time."

"SIR!" One of his koopa storm troopas said, snapping to attention. "The negotiator has arrived!"

"Good, who is it?" Darth Bowser replied calmly.

"It doesn't appear to be a resident of the mushroom kingdom." The turtle continued bowing. "He goes by the name "Obi-Wan Luigi", should I show him in?"

Darth Bowser does a spit take (and with that grill it isn't pretty). "I know that name! Tell the troops to attack! He is not here to negotiate, its just a ruse!"

"Yes SIR!" The turtle said, as he wiped soda from his plastic uniform. "I will tell them to dispose of him now." the turtle waddled away and began to issue orders.

Not much time later we see a figure with a mustache and a large nose, wearing dark green robes, and wheedling a green lightsaber. He is racing down the hall bouncing from he head of one gomba to the next while deflecting shots

fired at him by the others. As he approached Darth Bowser drew his lightsaber and prepared to do battle.

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Tuffles waddled back to its home in a rather annoyed mood. "First I get beat up by that brain-dead elemental. Then I get sucked into some strange dimension. Finally I get into a position of power, and I have to leave with those other authors. After that, I get blamed for crashing the ship!" Tuffles stops walking "Oh wait that was my fault." Tuffles starts walking again "But still… what else could go wrong?"

"You could get attacked by an old enemy." A voice from of above said squeakily, but still reasonably ominous.

"Yeah, that could happen." Tuffles said as it continued walking.

"HEY!" The voice yelled, shocked "You're supposed to stop, and then slowly look up, so I can pounce on you!"

"Oh, I'm sorry." Tuffles Said, looking up. "Do you want me to go through it again?"

"If its no problem." The voice responded, sounding relieved.

Tuffles backs up to the beginning of the block and starts walking forward again. "First I get beat up by that brain-dead elemental. Then I get sucked into some strange dimension. Finally I get into a position of power, and I have to leave

with those other authors. After that, I get blamed for crashing the ship!" Tuffles stops walking "Oh wait that was my fault." Tuffles starts walking again "But still… what else could go wrong?"

"You could get attacked by an old enemy." A voice from of above said squeakily, but still reasonably ominous.

Tuffles stopped, and slowly looked up. Its attacker leaps downward and lands on Tuffles upraised fist. The Skinny, tallish, yellow figure flew backwards from the force of the uppercut and hit its side on the tree. "You never were very

smart were you Pikachan?"

The mature wigglypuff's nemesis managed to regain its breath. Pikachan growled and leapt forward tackling Tuffles. Then all that is seen is a classic whirlwind fight animation.

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Supersonic landed the stardestroyer on his front lawn. He smiled at the new mode of transport he had obtained. The others had also wanted it, but he won the coin toss tournament fair and square so it was his now. He landed outside of his home and entered through the back door (The front lot isn't accommodated for spaceship parking). He realized that he hadn't eaten since that restaurant inside of Stardragon. He opened the refrigerator and took out the most

healthy thing he kept in there, a chocolate cake.

He cut himself a piece of the cake, and it promptly exploded. "Why does this always happen!!" Supersonic yelled slamming his fist on the table. Supersonic sighed, giving up all hope of being able to cut anything reasonably again. He sighed and sat down in front of his television. In a couple of minuets he nodded off.

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Hours later the sink began dripping. After a couple of drops fell out they beaded together. The resulting blob traveled up the side of the sink until it reached the faucet. The handle rotated until the water became a steady stream. The

sink overflowed onto the floor and then halted suddenly. The water beaded to itself and then became denser until it reached a gelatinous state. The condensed shape appeared slightly humanoid, but it had qualities of a small tunneling rodent (anybody who owns a Dreamcast knows the basic look of this guy.). Its claws and quills were tipped with rock hard ice. The two orbs floating in its "head" oriented on the sleeping figure. It stepped forward, and then recoiled in

pain. It emitted a bubbling growl, it looked in disappointment at the rug. It grimaced at the thought of walking into the room and having more of its essence absorbed by the floor covering.

It leapt out of the kitchen window, it landed on the sidewalk with a splash. The puddle reformed to the strange creature. Its realized it would have to choose a different battleground if he hoped to win. Then it saw the stardestroyer. It gurgled with approval as it moved up the ramp to the controls of the ship.

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Incognito returned to his place of residence. He stopped at the door, it was locked. He patted himself down for his keys. After not finding any he shrugged and kicked the door in. Rushed to the couch so he would not miss his favorite

show. As he sat down something in his jacket poked his back. He pulled the house-key from the pocket and threw it into the corner. He then turned on the TV and relaxed.

Outside Otingocni lowered his field glasses. "He's finally back." He smiled "It would have been sooner if he hadn't gotten lost walking home." He said glancing at his tracking device. He began to work his way down the tree. "Soon I

will be able to finally - OWCH, CRAMP!!!!!!" He yelled as he fell the remaining seven feet to the ground... He had been in the tree a very long time.

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Otingocni approached the house several minuets later, acting like nothing had happened. He removed a listening device from his tool belt. He placed the receiver against the wall, and the headset on his ears.

"Will Mr. Shnoodle Dumpkins be O.K.?" A high pitched voice asked from the TV.

"I Don't know." Another equally high pitched voice said "Lets sing a song!"

Otingocni could almost feel his brain hemorrhaging as the opening strains of the song were played. He tore the headset off and lay on the ground moaning for about half an hour. He remembered, as he lay there in intense pain,

why he hated Incognito.

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Otingocni finally recovered and approached the smashed in door to the house. As he quietly stepped through the doorway. He drew his Vegitizer uzi and prepared to confront his bitter enemy. As he leveled his weapon TV said

something that struck fear in his heart.

"That was just the first episode in this marathon. The next episode starts right now!"

Otingocni ran from the house suppressing the urge to scream. "First things first," He said to himself as he sheathed his uzi. "Cut the power, then get revenge,"

=========================================================================================

Philzurfer typed idly at his laptop. He spends some time wondering what he should do about his next fic. Should he continue writing his talk shows, or a Digimon fic, or another author fic. The temperature in the room had been

uncommonly cold since he had entered it. He stood up and walked to his closet to get a sweater. As he opened the door a hand thrust out of the clothes and hit Philzurfer squarely in the chest. Philzurfer stumbled backwards and tripped over his chair.

Then an all to familiar figure steps out from behind the coats. "So nice to see you again." Billzoomer said cockily. "Why the last time I saw you was…. Oh yeah," He said as he placed a glove over his hand. The glove slowly started glowing, and it emitted a humming noise that steadily rose in pitch. "I think you banished me to an alternate dimension. Now I plan to return the favor."

Billzoomer lunged forward and Philzurfer barley had time to get out of the way. Bill's glove instead came in contact with the chair. The chair shimmered and disappeared in a flash of static. The glove stops glowing, but it immediately begins to recharge.

"Hey Phil!" A voice is heard from the other side of the door. "What's with all the noise?"

"David!" Phil yelled as he backed away from his rival. "We've go a big-" Phil is interrupted as he dodges another lunge from Bill. He ends up, instead, hitting the door. The door disappears similarly to the chair, leaving nothing between

David and the others. "Problem." Philzurfer finished.

"You think?" David said, shocked.

==========================================================================================

"Blazing Phoenix Strike!"

"Force of the tide!"

The two attacks collided and filled the room with steam. Saberflame used this opportunity to leap out of the window. Saberflame rolled to a halt and removed his specially designed laptop. It was barley more than a small keyboard with a monitor wire that ended in a electrode he attached to his skin when in use. He typed quickly and then sheathed his keyboard on his belt.

A taxi pulled up and Saberflame quickly entered and ordered the driver to go to the address of his hideout.

However the cab driver did not speak English and therefor did not understand Saberflame.*

"What's going on here?" Saberflame said, and then he checked the footnote.

*You won't get away that easily fire boy.

Saberflame quickly leapt out of the cab as it was hit by a blast of water. He rolled across the ground with questions running at a lightning pace. "How did Ordehevnal get out? Has he gotten stronger? Were his author powers completely

neutralized? What is the meaning of life? Did he have the power to defeat Ordehevnal? Who could he ask for help?"

Fortunately he knew the answers. "It was something Izzy did. Yes. Yes. Forty two. Maybe. He could get help from the other authors. If they weren't in the same predicament."

=============================================================

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called you here." Saberflame said from the front of the table.

There was a chorus of no's from the eight people at the table. "You called us here because of those dark authors." Tuffles said simply.

Saberflame glowers at the rag-tag group for a couple of seconds and then continues. "Yes," he sighed "And, as you know, none of us had much luck in dealing with them. We fought, but in the end we just managed to distract them

enough to run away. Fortunately none of us were severely injured in these battles-"

"Speak for yourself!" Incognito yelled. The group turned to face Incognito, who had a black eye and was limping.

"Incognito," Supersonic Sighed "You tripped coming up the stairs to this meeting."

"But I still got hurt!" Incognito whined.

"Anyway," Saberflame continued "It is not advisable that we attempt to defeat our own worst halves. Considering the fact they their basic design makes them our perfect counter, the best we could hope for is a stalemate."

"Mr. Optimism," Bob mumbled.

Saberflame glared at the group again. "So I would suggest that we attempt to defeat each others foes. The best option would be to pair into groups. Then we could hunt down the dark authors and be able to defeat them."

"Well now you are being optimistic," Mysterious interjected. "Even if we do that it won't be easy."

"I never said easy," Saberflame said, getting more and more frustrated. "Just possible. Any other questions?"

Incognito raised his hand. "What makes rain?" he asked.

"Any questions pertaining to the subject at hand." Saberflame growled, and the flames on his jacket grew in intensity.

"Who should we pair with?" Philzurfer asked.

"That will be decided soon." Saberflame said, calming down. "If you have a preference you may tell me in a review. I may use your suggestions, or I may blatantly ignore them. I haven't decided. In the meantime, you should all go to

your places of residence and rest."

"What if we get attacked?!" Darth Bowser asked. "They know where we live!"

"As the author of *this* fanfiction, I still have a basic control." Saberflame explained. "We won't get attacked until next time."

The meeting broke up. Mysterious sat for a couple of seconds, and then approached Bob. "Is there a place in your empire I could stay in for a while?" She asked.

"I guess so," He shrugged "Why can't you stay at your place?"

"Don't ask." Mysterious said wincing. "Let's just say, it got redecorated, and leave it at that."

The authors split up and returned to their homes to recuperate. Meanwhile the dark authors sat around a similar table.

"We may wish to use a similar strategy to deal with them." Otingocni suggested.

"Indeed," Chaos bubbled, "But for now we rest. Our powers have not fully returned."

"O.K.," Ordyhevnal continued "We meet back here, same time tomorrow."

"How do you guys know what they're planning?" Pikachan asked.

Rob smacks Pikachan on the back of the head. "Idiot, Didn't you read the first part of the story?!"

=============================================================

Saberflame stepped forward. He saw his adversary through the eye slots that are punched into his paper bag. The archfiend smiled and waved cheerfully. Saberflame moaned "Of all of these freaks, I had to find Flying High."

Fortunately his second foe was much easier to hate. Otingocni glared at him and cocked his Vegetizer Uzi menacingly. The two dark authors began approaching the fire elemental slowly.

Saberflame felt his energy flow into his sword. Shortly thereafter he heard the satisfying "Foomp" as it began flickering with his trademark white hot flames. He heard a much different, but equally reassuring sound of his ally's blade activating. Darth Bowser slowly swung his weapon through the air. His blade consists of a much more technological fire, but it was almost as powerful.

The four authors faced each other in a grim standoff. Otingocni makes the first move by firing his weapon. The Authors blade deflected the shots. Several bystanders become potatoes, but nobody cares about them. The pair blade wielding FFN frequenters began charging forward as they deflected the angry spray of projectiles. Saberflame halted several meters away from the angry Uzi wielding counterpart. The bolts of energy deflected in a brilliant array of shining arks. Meanwhile Darth Bowser approaches from the side and destroys the gun with his lightsaber.

Saberflame raised his sword to attack Otingocni, but the sword was removed from his hands.

"That's enough of that!" Flying high said in a scolding voice. "You could really hurt somebody with this thing! It isn't a toy!"

"You touched my sword" Saberflame said, apparently in shock.

"Yes," Flying said before continuing his train of thought "Now if you constantly swing it around like-"

"You TUCHED *my* sword." Saberflame said, his skin growing darker red.

"Yes," Flying said, rolling his eyes. "Now why don't we just-"

"NOBODY TOUCHES MY SWORD!!!" Saberflame said as he leapt forward and began throttling Flying High

===========================================================================

Bob sighed. He stood against a tree, watching Incognito practice. "I can't believe I got stuck with this idiot." He mumbled to himself as he sharpened his blade. It wasn't so much that Bob hated waiting for the expected dark authors to show up at the spot they were staking out. It was the fact that Incognito insisted on practicing.

Incognito drew back his electronic whip and aimed it at his target. He missed; the whip wrapped itself around Bob's ax. With a sigh and a twitch of his weapon he disarmed his ally. At this point Bob finally voiced his concern. "Do you even know how to use this thing?!" He demanded.

"Of course I do!" Incognito replied angrily.

"Incognito," Bob sighed out in frustration. "The target is just five feet in front of you. I, on the other hand, and three feet to the left of it, and two feet behind *you*!!!!"

"I'm just warming up," Incognito mumbled.

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If the two authors hadn't been arguing so fiercely they might have noticed the large puddle approaching them from behind. It divided into two globs that each began to grow taller and thinner. Once they had both achieved a more or less humanoid forms. One form gained color as if a dye pack exploded inside it. The familiar dark jacket and blue clothes (and yes, paper bag) of Ordyhevnal. The figure's form hardened until it looked no different from any solid object. The other seemed content to attain a gelatinous form and orient the three glowing orbs that floated inside it to its "head".

The two looked at each other. Chaos smiled and the small remote control device that was floating inside of him traveled down his arm and into his hand. He pushed a sequence of buttons on it. A ship loomed up behind the pair of liquid authors; any fan of Star Wars would immediately recognize it as a star destroyer.

"Hey," Bob paused, "Do you hear something."

The two authors slowly turned and saw the large ship charge up its weapons and fire.

==========================================================================

Philzurfer sat calmly on the bench. Sitting next to him patiently was Supersonic. They were also staking out a place where they expected the dark authors to show up. David was also there, and he was glaring at Philzurfer. "What?" Philzurfer finally admitting his inability to ignore his brothers glare.

"Why are you two being so unprofessional?" David asked.

"How are we being unprofessional?" Supersonic asked, "We're on a stake out. Isn't that more professional than running out and wandering through town looking for them?"

"Well I guess so," David sighed, "But you're eating snow cones!"

"Um, we're trying to act casual." Supersonic said, quickly making up an excuse.

"Besides," Philzurfer said as he took another bite, "I like snow cones."

"Let's at least do something that makes us look less childish." David said as he pulled a packet of cards from his pocket "Who's up for a game of blackjack?"

"How about Uno?" Philzurfer asked.

"Fine," David sighed as he began shuffling. With several deft hand maneuvers he mixed the cards and placed the stack on the center of the table. Supersonic reached forward and took the top half of the deck and placed it underneath the bottom half.

David slapped himself on the forehead as card shreds flew in all directions. "What did I do?" Supersonic asked as he picked pieces of paper out of his spiky hair.

"It's simple really," David said calmly, and then loosing his temper. "YOU CUT THE DECK!!"

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Rob The Conquerer sat on the hill, overlooking the park. Through his mini binoculars he saw the whole thing happen. He couldn't hear what they were saying but he could guess pretty closely. Then his ally, Pikachan, spoke, "I thought our adversaries would be stronger than this. It should be very easy to destroy them."

Rob nodded his head in agreement, and then he saw that his yellow friend was not looking in the same direction that he was. Rob adjusted his angle to see what Pikachan was looking at, and he sighed. "That is a man walking a dog," He

reached over and adjusted the angle of Pikachan's binoculars to the correct direction. "*Those* are our enemies." Then without speaking Rob moved off and brushed aside some foliage. Behind it was a tank. "I knew it was a good idea too

keep one of these in reserve." He said as he climbed in and turned the ignition.

The tank produced only a sputtering noise as its engine refused to turn over. Rob tried to start it several more times with the same results. Rob stepped out of the tank muttering to himself. He opened the trunk and pulled out two

cables. He attached one end to the tank's battery, and the other end to each of Pikachan's ears. He went back into the tank and successfully started it.

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The trio of good guys were busy trying to tape together an entire set of bicycle cards. Suddenly Supersonics head jerked up. "Did you guys hear something?" he asked.

"It sounded like a mark 5 amphibious tank's ignition starting. Why do you ask?" Philzurfer said as he held up the reassembled four of clubs for inspection.

Just then the tank sped over the hill. The three heroes prepared to fight.

===========================================================================

Mysterious sat calmly sharpening her sword. The grim solemnity of the whole scene was lost however, because of the large pink thing listening to a boom box nearby. Mysterious sheathed her sword and turned to the tall Pokemon. Her

eyes narrowed behind her ski mask. Tuffles didn't get the message and kept right on bouncing up and down to the beat and snapping her fingers. Mysterious shrugged and just sat there waiting. Soon however her ears picked up a low

humming sound. She reached over and plucked the headphones from the abnormally tall Wiggilypuffs head. "Duck," she said calmly before throwing herself on the ground.

Tuffles did likewise moments before two spiraling beams of fire seared over their heads. There came a grunt of annoyance from behind them. Nothing had been said, but the two authors got the impression that it something along the lines of "Darn that good guy luck"

The two turned to see the remaining dark authors behind them. Mysterious unsheathed her sword as Obi wan Luigi activated his lightsaber. Billzoomer stretched his glove over his hand, and Samid assumed an attack pose. Tuffles

removed the headphones jack from the boom box and switched the tape in the player and hit the play button. Mysterious passed out from the music halfway through unsheathing her sword. Tuffles and the dark authors also fell asleep almost instantly.

The music stopped and eventually everybody woke up the same time. "Well," Tuffles Sighed, "That was helpful."

"I have no reason to fight you." Obi wan Luigi said calmly.

"Hrrmmm," Mysterious said, thinking, "That could be a problem," Mysterious stepped forward and swung her sword. "Now you do,"

Obi wan Luigi held the half of his mustache that Mysterious cut off. His eyes narrowed and he charged forward in a rage.

Meanwhile Tuffles and Billzoomer attempted to blast each other with their physic attacks. Tuffles however did not see Samid sneaking around the back.

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Saberflame managed to grab his sword from flying high and then he threw the author against the wall of the nearest building. Strangely, Flying broke through the brick wall and landed on the other side relatively unhurt. Saberflame walked over and inspected the wall. He pressed his hand against the bricks and it broke straight through as if it was tissue paper. "Figures," He muttered "We're in the cardboard district of downtown Tokyo.*

*The cardboard district of downtown Tokyo is the place the monsters trash in all the Japanese monster movies. It was mentioned in one of my earlier fics.

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Otingocni pulled a pair of sai's from his belt. As he pushed a button on each they began to crackle with electricity. He used them to block Darth Bowser's swinging lightsaber. Because Otingocni was well trained in fighting arts, and sai's are specifically designed to block swords, he was at a definite advantage. Darth Bowser then pulled a second lightsaber from his belt. He activated the second one and the beam of energy rose from the handle, but stopped after rising six inches. Otingocni paused, "What the heck is that?!" He asked.

"It's a light dagger." The Sith dino responded.

"No it isn't!" Otingocni accused "You just messed up while making it didn't you!"

"Shut up!" Darth Bowser said as he brought both of his weapons up to strike.

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Flying high stumbled out of the building. He leaned against a lamppost and squinted at Saberflame through his blurry vision. "You aren't very nice." He said with his voice slurring.

"I'm sorry." Saberflame said sarcastically as he started walking forward.

"Bad things often happen to people who aren't nice." Flying said almost menacingly.

"Yeah well that's just too bad isn't it? Why don't you just-" Saberflame began to say, but he was interrupted by a loud whistling noise. He looked up just as the Star Destroyer flew overhead. It was moving erratically downward and it seemed damaged. The triangular spaceship crashed through the side of the building. A large section of the buildings upper wall came off and fell to the ground. The wall landed on Saberflame, while a window frame came down around Flying High Buster Keaton style.

"See?" He said simply.

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Darth Bower and Otingocni were locked in a stalemate facing each other. Each of Bowser's sabers was locked against Otingocni's Sai's. "We aren't going to get anywhere this way." Otingocni grunted after a while.

Darth Bowser nodded in agreement "Release on three?" he asked.

Both authors counted to three, and neither released. Otingocni glared at Darth Bowser, but he was not in any position to pass judgment on his action. "That's it," Bowser grumbled, "Enough with all this 'fair play' stuff!" Darth Bowser inhaled deeply and blew fire into Otingocni's face through the grill on his mask.

Otingocni stumbled back and fell through one of the flimsy walls. Darth Bowser leapt forward and swung, but Otingocni managed to clumsily lift one of his sai's to deflect it. The tri-pronged dagger flew from his hand and broke through one of the nearby walls. He grasped his remaining weapon more firmly and prepared to defend himself.

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Flying high began to walk away from the scene of the collapse. He shook his had at the fate of his opponent "Why can't we all just get along?" He though out loud.

"Because we hate each other!" Saberflame was heard to say as an abnormally large scorpion burst from a pile of cheap plaster chunks. "Now I see why Mysterious hates you." The post-humanoid insect growled.

Saberflame skittered toward his enemy. The Dark author, who looked more properly attired for a Hawaiian vacation than a battle, backed away slowly from the giant insect. Saberflame grinned (as much as an insect can grin) as he brought his tail up to strike. He struck with deadly accuracy, however at that exact moment Flying High accidentally fell through an open manhole cover that he had accidentally backed on top of. Saberflame's tail whipped through the air exactly where he had been an instant before and struck the fire hydrant he had been standing in front of.

"No good will come of this," Saberflame said quietly before a jet of water blasted out of the crack he had made in the metal.

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Darth Bowser held his blade to the neck of his disarmed opponent. "Any last requests?" he asked.

"Well yes," Otingocni replied, "I-"

"I don't care what it is!" Darth Bowser retorted, "I just wanted to know if you had one or not!"

At that moment one of the walls collapsed inward and a large salamander propelled by a jet of water slammed into Darth Bowser. The two tumbled across the floor and halted after crashing through two more walls. Saberflame flipped himself over and shook off the droplets of water that still painfully clung to him. "I'm gonna kill that hippie!" He yelled to nobody in particular.

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Bob The Conquerer and Incognito found themselves staring down the barrels of the approximately five thousand twenty three laser guns that the Star Destroyer had on its hull. Chaos chuckled and pressed another button on his remote. Every single gun on the awesome war machine began to charge to fire. Bob quickly took his shield from his back and held it defensively in front of himself and Incognito. The lasers fired and reflected off of its reflective surface. He knew however that this would not last. So he quickly pulled a similar remote from his cloak and pressed a sequence of buttons.

A large ship rose into the air behind the pair of authors. After Bob pressed more buttons it began to fire on the Star Destroyer. He quickly tossed the remote to Incognito "You take care of the battle and I'll try to hold those two off." He said as he adjusted the grip on his ax and charged forward.

Incognito stared at the device Bob had thrown to him. "How the heck do I work this thing." He thought to himself. The bag adorned author shrugged his shoulders and pushed a button at random on the control pad.

The other three authors paused in their fighting as a bright fireball lit up the sky. Bob's mouth hung open as he watches one of his best spaceships explode in an array of shrapnel, and then he turned to stare at the perpetrator. Incognito flinched from the glare of his ally. Fortunately for the incompetent author (no offense Incognito) the explosion crippled the Star Destroyer. The huge battleship limped off, smashing through several buildings in the process until it finally crashed.

Bob broke out of his state of shock when he was hit in the back by a column of water. The blast threw the author through a wall. Incognito approached and leaned over the fallen overlord. "Wow this building was poorly built! Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm okay," Bob said, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "I broke most of the impact with my spine." Bob stood and wrung as much water as he could out of his cape. "You know," He said idly, "If I didn't need your help I would probably have you killed about now."

"I'll make a note of that," Incognito replied, "Don't anger you when you're expendable."

"Yes," Bob said as he stood shakily "You do that,"

"We're still here you know," Chaos said from in front of the authors, "Just because you have a conversation it doesn't mean everything else pauses!"

"Sure it does!" Incognito responded, "Watch this!" Incognito produced three colorful balls from his pockets and performed a juggling act. After several minuets he puts them away and bows, and none of the other authors seemed to have moved during this time.

"How did you do that?" Ordyhevnal asked.

"That's simple," Bob put in, "The author of a story can only describe one complicated event at a time. This usually isn't a problem for regular stories because the author can influence time, but since we're authors and exist outside the story time passes at a regular rate for us no matter what. Therefore we notice time pass even when it doesn't, thus creating a 'paused' effect."

"Um yeah, sure," Incognito shrugged.

"Can we just get on with the pummeling?" Chaos said impatiently.

"Sounds good to me." Incognito mumbled.

Bob quickly drew his Vegetizer shotgun and fired a blast at the water fiends. To his dismay the pellets simply passed straight through them, and they kept coming. "This could get ugly," He muttered as he returned the weapon to the recesses of his cloak. "I'll get the one on the left," He said before he rushed forward.

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Incognito found himself face to face with Ordyhevnal. The shapeless blob that the dark author held in his hand formed itself into the shape of a broken bottle. He charged forward at incognito and the bag adorned author barley dodged the other. As Ordyhevnal stumbled from the swing incognito turned and swung his whip. Unfortunately his aim was still off, and the electrified whip soon found itself coiled around a nearby power line. After a multitude of sparks and other expensive pyrotechnics (that make me glad that this is just a written story instead of a screenplay) all of the lights in the town go out. "Whoops," Incognito shrugged as he abandoned the use of the whip.

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Bob and Chaos exchanged fierce stares and slowly circled each other. Bob was the first to strike by swinging forward with his ax. The blade quickly and easily separated the globular author's head from him body. Unfortunately the weak points of the dark author he since moved themselves to other parts of his body. The creature's body reformed itself to its former shape (except for the fact that it was a head shorter). As Bob stood confused Chaos extended an arm and pushed him through a wall into the darkened room beyond. As Bob recovered from the blow the puddle that had once been Chaos's head rejoined the rest of its body and he regained his former mass.

"Enough play," Chaos bubbled.

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Ordyhevnal finally managed to swing his bottle to connect with Incognito. However he ended up hitting his paper bag, which is of the same nearly indestructible material as Saberflame's. Therefore it had no effect. Incognito managed to connect a punch with the water fiend, but his hand passed straight through. Incognito quickly withdrew his arm and ran away. Ordyhevnal followed after him, directly into the ACME sponge factory.

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Bob sliced through yet another of Chaos's extended appendages as it tried to impale him. He realized that this wasn't getting him any closer to defeating his opponent. Then he had an idea. He stood in front of the room's fuse-box. Chaos thrust forward one of his hands, forming it into a spike. It easily penetrated the thin and flimsy metal of the box and splashing into the exposed wires. Bob pumped his arm in triumph as the water creature punctured the buildings main wiring.

Unfortunately there was no effect because Incognito had cut off the cities power only seconds beforehand. "Can I do anything without him messing it up?" He growled as he rolled out of the way of another of Chaos's attacks.

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The tank sped down the hill like, well, like a really heavy, metal thing going really fast down a hill. The three authors abandoned their game of spades and dived out of the way. The tank missed them all, and began to turn to make another pass. The three readied them selves for another attack. Supersonic drew his sword, David pulled a wrench out of some pocket that was deceptively small, and Philzurfer disposed of the snow-cone cones in the proper receptacle in obedience of the local laws about littering. The tank roared closer and at the last minuet supersonic and Philzurfer jumped to the side while David threw himself to the ground. The vehicle passed directly over David, and when he stood up he held a single bolt in his hand triumphantly.

The tank proceeded several more feet, but as it began to turn strange grinding noises sounded from inside its chassis. Moments later the war machine broke down and smoke began to pour from its engine. The two other authors stared at the crippled machine. "How did you do that?" Philzurfer asked finally.

"You just have to know which one to take." David smiled.

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Rob knew something was wrong. When he pushed the steering wheel to the left it usually made the tank turn left. However this time all that resulted was a odd grinding noise, followed by the noise of a piece of machinery breaking off and imbedding itself in the engine, followed by the noise of the engine seizing up. He reflected that he probably could have killed the bungling authors with the tank's cannon, but somebody had to drive the tank, and he didn't quite trust Pikachan to do either job. The strange rodent would probably either drive the vehicle over a cliff, or create one for it to fall over. Of course all of this was a moot point since the machine no longer worked and the cabin was filling up with smoke.

He threw open the hatch and leapt out of the prematurely decrepit vehicle. He saw his three opponents standing not far away. He glared at them through the smoke pouring through the hatch. He sized up his opponents. There was something about the spiky haired one that gave him an odd premonition; something that hadn't happened and yet it had. He shook his head and decided that it would be best if he focused on the other opponents.

Pikachan clambered out of the hatch moments later; accidentally knocking into Rob The Liberator. The entire dramatic moment was ruined by Rob clumsily falling off the side of the smoldering machine. He paused only to glower at the rodent, who shrugged innocently.

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Supersonic drew his sword as the tall yellow rodent flew through the air at him. He Grabbed Pikachan by the ears at the last second. "Neo Meto smash!" He yelled as he threw the dark-author very high into the air. Pikachan flew upward for about three-hundred feet, and then Supersonic appeared above him and, with a hard punch, sent him plummeting back to earth.

Supersonic smiled as he watched Pikachan begin to fall the thirty stories to the ground. "I bet he wishes he could fly." he said contentedly. Then he slowly realized that *he* was also three-hundred feet above the ground, and he couldn't fly either.

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Rob stood warily eyeing his two opponents. He thought he might be able to take on one, but the two of them together might give him a problem. As he thought this over David began to initiate one of his Wolf-Kan tactics. The small boy moved forward in a blur and Rob barley had time to flinch before Pikachan landed on David. Rob blinked and looked down as the large Pikachu hopped off of the young boy. David angrily stood up and brushed himself off. He glared at the confused Rob and leapt forward, right into the path of supersonic.

Supersonic stood up and mumbled "I need to think of a new attack, maybe something with fire in it." and then he leapt at Pikachan and began battling again. David lay on the ground and tried to remember what was going on, starting with his name, and then working his way up. Rob looked up at his remaining opponent and swung his sword.

Philzurfer dived out of the way and fired off a physic blast that mad Rob stagger back several feet. Rob drew his shield as Philzurfer fired another blast. The physic charge was absorbed by the semicircle of what looked like steel. Philzurfer paused expecting some reaction to his blast of mind.

Rob simply remained in his defensive posture for several moments. Then suddenly he held forward his sword and fired a similar physic blast out of it. The unexpected attack caught Philzurfer off his guard and sent him crashing through a wall.

Rob began to walk toward his fallen foe; his sword glowing with the power of physic energy flowing though the blade.

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Mysterious's sword clashed with her opponents. Unfortunately hers was significantly less powerful, and was easily split by the lightsaber. She frowned at the remains of her weapon. Obi-wan Luigi was advancing slowly. He swung his blade again and it removed her head.

The mask fell to the floor and made a clattering noise, and then became silent as it disappeared. The jedi looked at the rapidly disappearing cloak that had once been his adversary. "How did she get away like that?"

"I was never there," Mysterious said from behind him.

Obi wan Luigi instinctively lunged out of the way as Mysterious's sword swished through the air barley missing making the same blow that he had dealt moments before

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Samid smiled to himself as he sneaked up from behind the bulbous pink thing. His brother would keep it distracted, and give him all the time he needed to make his attack. He soundlessly approached Tuffles until he was only a foot or so away. He smiled as he drew his weapon. He paused as he heard a strange noise from behind him. It sounded like a mixture of a cough and a gasp. He turned around, and William leapt. (In case anybody was wondering that's the only noise I have heard an iguana make)

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Tuffles dodged another one of BillZoomer's fire blasts. He noted with growing disapproval that she was surprisingly fasts for her size and weight. He removed his glove from one of the pockets on his unusual outfit. He carefully stretched the flexible machinery over his hand and activated it. It began to vibrate and hum almost immediately. The faint blue glow let him know that it was fully charged.

He glared at the insufferable pink creature as it began to run forward. "This time it will not escape my steel." He thought to himself as he drew his blade.

"Well, maybe not today," he thought as he saw his blade phase into the vortex dimension before his eyes. The glove began its recharging sequence. He slapped himself in the forehead for being stupid enough to make such an error, well, he almost slapped himself in the forehead, but he stopped himself at the last second. He wasn't *that* dumb.

Of course he wasn't feeling particularly intelligent as Tuffles plowed into him. He wondered as he was bodily flung through the air how something with that much mass could have approached him at that speed.

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Obi Wan Luigi rolled to his feet and turned to face his adversary. Only to find empty air. He turned in a slow circle. None of his senses registered anything, even the ones not possessed by others brought up nothing. However his senses quickly made him aware of several things in rapid succession only moments later.

There was a click, followed an instant later by his sudden lack of sight caused by the fact that every light had gone out. Moments later was the feeling of pain as he continued walking, into a solid metal pole. (O.K., so the pole wasn't solid; it broke off like it was mad of tin, but it had the same effect.) Then there was the distinct taste of gravel as his face hit the ground. Luckily his sixth sense registered movement behind him and he rolled out of the way as a sword plunged into the ground where his heart had been a moment before.

"This would be much easier," Mysterious said monotonously as she wrenched her sword out of the ground. "If you didn't move around so much."

"I'm sorry," Obi Wan Luigi said, bowing slightly, but straightened quickly as Mysterious attempted to oblige her opportunity to behead him. "How did you turn off the lights anyway?"

"Eh?"

"I don't see any switches anywhere."

"I'm Mysterious, its what I do.

"Oh,"

They were about to begin the battle again when one of the walls crumbled inward.

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Saberflame clambered away from Darth Bowser mumbling to himself. He'd have to find Flying High again. He didn't have to look far. He caught sight of the brightly dressed character climbing out of the same manhole he fell into. "Does this guy have no survival instincts?" He thought to himself. "How can this be so easy, and yet so hard?"

"Oh there you are!" Flying High said as turned around, "You don't look that good."

Saberflame simply glowered at his adversary. He stepped back from the growing puddle that filled the area.

"Are you sure this type of thing is good for you?" he asked calmly, "You seem to have been getting worse and worse since this whole thing started."

"I wonder why *THAT* is." Saberflame finally growled. He began stalking forward, his extreme heat fueled by his anger and frustration evaporating the water in his immediate area. He was getting closer to Flying, and he planned to roast him when he got there.

"Are you sure you should be doing that?" Flying High said, he didn't seem worried, in fact he seemed concerned, "That may not be very safe to be walking down the-"

"Will you be quiet?!" Saberflame yelled, "I've had just about enough of your-"

Saberflame stopped yelling suddenly as his intense heat caused the engine of a nearby car to explode. The blast flung him into a nearby building. "Accident waiting to happen," Flying sighed.

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Darth Bowser sat up, ready to reprimand Saberflame, but the author had already stalked off and seemed to take no notice of him. He had managed to keep a hold on his lightsaber, but his dagger had landed blade side down. The energy blade cut through the ground as it sunk, and was making a tunnel approximately two inches wide straight to the center of the earth. He sighed at the loss of his weapon. Then left to find his foe.

He saw the familiar shape of his opponent running toward him. He remained hidden in the shadows waiting for the right moment. When it arrived he raised his deadly weapon over his head and brought it down on the head of his opponent, and it bounced off the paper bag he was wearing.

"Hey," Incognito said, turning around. "What are you doing here?"

"What!" Darth Bowser said, taking a step back, "I was fighting your rival! Why are you here?" They were both interrupted by Ordyhevnal entering moments later.

The fiend stopped running as soon as he reached the door fame. He hesitantly held his weapon in front of himself as he entered the building. Soon he was enveloped by shadows and moving stealthily through the structure.

"He followed you?" Darth Bowser asked.

"At least I know where he is instead of having him sneak up behind me to stab me in the back." Incognito shrugged.

Darth Bowser quickly turned and parried the thrust from Otingocni. Otingocni cursed under his breath as he brought his sai back for another strike. He thrust forward, and Darth Bowser dodged out of the way just in time. The evil author stumbled forward into one of the crates breaking it open. A mass of sponges fell out onto him. "What are these doing here?" He asked as he stumbled to his feet.

"Its a sponge factory," Incognito said simply.

The other authors just stared at him for a moment. They new that sponges had to be made *somewhere*, but they never expected to actually see one of these places.

As Otingocni tried to work his way out of the pile of sponges the wall beside him was pierced by a sharp tendril. He dived down as it broke one of the crates behind him. There was a screech of anguish as the tendril withdrew from the box of now damp sponges. Moments later another figure broke through the wall. "What are you doing here?!" Bob asked as he saw Darth Bowser. Without waiting for an answer he dived out of the way of another, more cautiously aimed, tendril.

"I thought we split up!" Darth Bowser said in annoyance. His yell was punctuated by another collapsing wall. In crashed Billzoomer, apparently propelled by Tuffles's pile diving tackle. The two crashed into another crate of sponges. "What's going on here?!" Darth Bowser yelled.

Otingocni finally managed to find his footing when he was knocked down again by another Author crashing through the wall. Obi Wan Luigi stood shakily rubbing his jaw. Beyond the wall stood Mysterious, her hand still clenched in a fist. "This is getting just a little too-" Otingocni mumbled before he was interrupted again by *yet another* author entering the room without using the door.

The wall was pierced by a glowing sword. The Owner of the sword followed it moments later as Philzurfer kicked the dark author through the wall. Rob took an instant to notice who else was in the building before he fired another blast from his sword at Phil.

Almost simultaneously to that a yellow rodent cam crashing thought the ceiling at high speed. It landed in a large vat of sponges and was relatively unharmed. Moments later another figure fell through the ceiling, but he didn't land in the vat of sponges. Supersonic climbed out of the crater he had made shakily and waved, "I'm okay," he said, his voice slurred, "Really, I am."

"Let me guess," Bob said slowly, as he held Chaos back by holding several sponges in each hand. "Five, four, three, two, one" He counted off calmly.

There was a loud explosion and moments later none other than Saberflame came crashing through the wall, propelled by an explosion. The lizard bashed through several crates and the sponges in them immediately went ablaze.

The fire quickly spread from crate to crate until the entire factory was well lit by the inferno. Out of which Saberflame calmly walked, now back to his human form. "I thought we agreed to split up!" He yelled one he had seen the others. "Are you trying to tell me that we all got about two blocks away from each other and stopped?!"

"Well I thought you guys were going to go farther. . ." Tuffles said shyly.

"Well my ankle has been giving me trouble. . ." Bob said quietly.

"Well-" Philzurfer began.

"Forget it!" Saberflame yelled impatiently, "I don't care anymore!" Then he stared at the assembled group of his allies and dark authors, who for some reason, had stopped fighting. "What's wrong? What are you all looking at?"

"You bag," Philzurfer said shocked.

"What?" Saberflame said reaching up to his head.

"You aren't wearing it?" Supersonic said simply.

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Bob ducked under his cloak as flames from Rob's sword began to impact on him. Due to the nature of Bob's cloak it did not catch fire, but it was getting very hot, very quickly. Philzurfer however quickly recovered from his state of shock, for there was only one Bob now, and hit Rob with a blast of mind. Rob stumbled and his attack ceased.

The two groups of now seven people sat in tension as they faced each other. Neither side daring to make a move. The air was thick with the feeling of apprehension, or maybe that was from all the burning sponges, it was hard to tell. They could have stayed standing like that for quite some time if the snapping noise of a Styrofoam support beam hadn't reminded them that the building probably wasn't going to remain standing very long. Both groups charged at each other as if on Que.

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Supersonic readied his blade as his opponent charged at him. Well, he should have been charging at him. After all, the opponent always charges at you, it was like a cliché or something. He relaxed his stance as he wondered at this. Then he realized that only Chaos's arm was charging toward him. He quickly ducked to the side, and out of the way of the pointed appendage attempting to impale him. As luck would have it the only thing that was in the way of the spear when he attempted to dodge it was his sword.

Chaos felt the unaccustomed pain as his extended arm was divided evenly in half. His body was completely saturated with the raw fibers of the sponges from the factory, and he quickly found that it greatly limited his ability. He managed to stop his arm's speedy forward movement, but his adversary's sword had already cut through several feet of his limb. His arm was not completely severed, and therefore it could be fixed. Already it was mending itself.

Chaos's reassurance turned to fear as he felt the end of his arm being torn asunder once again. This time however, it seemed to be doing it spontaneously. He watched in horror as his arm flew apart. The effect traveled quickly down his far-reaching appendage. In desperation he used his other hand to sever the arm at the shoulder to prevent it from traveling into himself. The limp cylinder of damp sponge fibers fell to the ground only moments before the entire length had been destroyed in the strange "explosion". At this though he stopped and balefully glared at his opponent. He would have to be more careful from this point forward.

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Tuffles glared at her opponent. The annoying Pickachu lookalike was glaring at her with an equally disdainful expression. Pickachan picked up a crate of sponges and with great effort managed to fling it at her adversary. However, Pikachan isn't very strong, so during the time when she was struggling to get the box off the ground Tuffles quickly inflated and floated out of range. Pikachan growled and unleashed a bolt of lightning fueled by her anger. However Tuffles was in the air and therefore not grounded. She let out a sigh of relief, unfortunately her held breath was the only thing keeping her in the air and she plummeted to the ground.

Pikachan leapt forward with a flying tackle that sent them both flying across the room. After rolling several feet the two flew in opposite direction. Pikachan immediately unleashed an electrical discharge that sent her opponent flying into the back wall. Pikachan let out a squeak of triumph and smugly moved to the pile of rubble.

As she crossed the room she thought she heard something. It was a haunting sound that seemed to be coming from far off. She knew she had heard it before. She shrugged it off and decided to deal with it after dealing with her adversary. Only when it was to late did she realize what it was.

"Jjjjjjjiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggaaaaaaaaalllllllllliiiiiiiii pppppppppuuuuuuuuuffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff…….."

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Obi Wan Luigi and Darth Bowser faced off on what could only be described as one of the most thrilling and complex lightsaber duel in recorded history. Unfortunately this is a written story therefor describing it in enough detail for it to make sense would get boring really fast. So we're going to cut some corners. Is that okay with all of you? Well, its going to happen anyway, so live with it you ungrateful snot.

While the shoddily constructed building was probably not the ideal place to have a face off between good and evil, neither of the two champions really paid attention. All of their attention was focused the opponent who stood as ridged as themselves. The fire was far off and provided only a grim background for the scene that was about to unfold. The two buzzing blades were the main light source in the area. The shadows shifted as Obi Wan Luigi's saber swung around to strike a mark on Darth Bowser. With a flash and an explosion of sparks the blow was parried by the dino's own weapon. The two parried, swung and struck with such a speed that a bystander wouldn't be able make out who was winning. The two broke apart. Neither seemed to be further ahead or behind then they were when they started.

Darth Bowser in a sudden and unexpected move hurled his lightsaber at Obi Wan Luigi. The blade swung through the air in an unpredictable spin. The Jedi had to dive out of the way to avoid injury. He turned smugly to face his double. The radical attack had not succeeded and it left his opponent defenseless. He stalked toward his unmoving opponent. He stopped as something behind him gave a reluctant snap. He turned as he saw the large shelf behind him begin to tip forward.

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Philzurfer tread lightly on the metal catwalk (Why does a sponge factory have a large catwalk system? Dramatic effect, duh. You can't have a showdown in an industrial setting without at least part of it involving fighting on a catwalk.). He glanced left and right for the foe he had battled one to many times. He trailed his hand along the rail as he contemplated the coming confrontation. Billzoomer had been his nemesis in almost every confrontation he had been in since the beginning of his carrier.

With a crackle of static the guide rail vanished, causing Philzurfer to stumble. "You're only delaying the inevitable." A voice from in front of him said confidently.

Philzurfer looked toward the sound as he raised to a full standing position once again. There stood a person who could be easily mistaken for himself, but anyone who knew them could easily distinguish the two. Both maintained attitudes of confidence, but where Phil's was from self-discovery, his opponents was confidence from the expense of many others. Bill flexed his gloved hand and smiled. "Tinia is a very unpleasant place, but you know that don't you?" He said as he stalked forward, "You've sent me there so many times. Soon you will not be able to hold me there. Soon all of my effort will be redeemed!"

"You really need a hobby."

"What?"

"If that's all you've done…. Have you considered golf?"

"Golf?"

"Yeah I've heard it relieves stress."

"Be quiet fool!!"

"See? Now this is exactly what I'm talking about. If you would just-" Phil was interrupted by billzoomer's charge. He hastily jumped out of the way and onto another catwalk as his opponent tried to grab him with his glowing glove.

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Bob held his ax in front of him while his opponent held his sword that still burned with the absorbed power of Saberflame's attack. He had almost forgotten that he had a twin, or at least he had until he had been sucked into Stardragon's universe shortly after the infamous author battle. People had learned not to attempt something like that again. O.K. so maybe someone did attempt that, but it is best not to get into that. Anyway they met each other again and the conflict began almost immediately, but it would seem that cutting him in half and blowing him up wasn't enough to get him out of the way. That was odd, because it usually worked for getting rid of most people, especially those nosy IRS guys.

"You cannot win" Rob said in his 'holier than thou' tone that he usually used when dealing with people like Bob "Good always triumphs over evil, it's a rule."

"Is it written down?" Bob asked speculatively.

"Um, no."

"Then it's not exactly binding now is it?"

"You and your literalism." Rob mumbled "It doesn't matter. Already I have control of several vital areas in your empire. It is only a matter of time until my forces remove your tainted influence from the land. Soon your empire will be nothing but a bad memory."

"What do you think I do with my time?"

"I don't understand."

"Why am I not surprised." Bob mumbled under his breath, then speaking audibly said "Do you think I devote all of my spare time to making peoples lives miserable? Poor moral makes for bad human resources; every decent ruler knows that. Why would I actively try to damage and destroy the lands I control and plan to control? Do you think I throw rocks at a house I'm about to buy? It would be just as smart. The lands you have liberated are not under your leadership. Not because you have not taken them, but because they choose not to."

"Of course I don't control them! I believe that they should be free. I have not asked for their submission. In fact I have even given them a standing guard on the borders that have been successfully stopping your sporadic and unorganized attempts to retake them." Rob said, confidently.

"I haven't launched any attacks." Bob stated, confused.

"What?" Now it was Rob's turn to be confused.

"I've focused on defending the remaining lands. I have yet to siege the lands you claim to control, with attacks sporadic or otherwise." Bob explained.

"You're lying!" Rob said, shaking off his doubts. "My border guard has reported several small attacks on the border a week!"

"Have they now?" Bob said, a sudden realization occurring to him, "Did they say what direction the attacks were coming from?"

"What?" Rob said, falling into confusion once more.

"People aren't trying to siege the land you've taken from me." Bob said confidently "They're trying to get out!"

"You're just twisting things!" Rob said angrily "You always do that! But this time your evil reign will end here!"

"And how do you plan to do that?" Bob said crossing his arms.

"You have no power, whereas I have absorbed the powers of another author. Bow to my superiority!" Rob said confidently as he swung about his flaming sword.

"I don't think so." Bob said as he adjusted his grip on his battle ax "Granted I don't have any magical powers, but I make up for it with experience and knowledge, and I have a lot of experience and knowledge as it pertains to fighting idiots with burning swords."

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Pikachan awoke a short time later. She heard a voice as she slowly came to.

"No!" it said, "You're not supposed to wake up now! I'm not done yet!"

Pikachan quickly leapt to her feet and scampered away. Her face felt funny. She managed to find a reflective surface, and was quite surprised. Her face had been decorated with several interesting designs done in black paint. It made her face look like something out of neo cubism. "What did you do to my face!?" She demanded.

"I wasn't finished yet!" Tuffles pouted "It would have been my masterpiece, but you had to wake up too soon!"

"OH!" Pikachan said sarcastically, "I'M SORRY!"

Tuffles frowned and put away her paintbrush, maybe later. Then she got really mad when Pikachan tried to rub the black paint from her face.

"NOW WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!" She yelled, enraged.

"I'm-" Pikachan had barely started when she was interrupted by a punch to the face from Tuffles.

The two began attack each other with their various methods of combat. For the most part Tuffles managed to be in the air when hit with and electric attack, and Pikachan tied her ears in knots, and was therefor immune to the sleep song. Tuffles realized that something decisive would have to be done soon in order for her to win. Then she got an idea.

In all of her bolts of electricity Pikachan had lost sight of Tuffles. Then piece of wood from one of the broken crates hit her in the back. She turned to see her adversary holding a metal pole. The FOOL! Pikachan triumphantly let out a strong bold of lightning at the metal rod in Tuffles' hand. Tuffles quickly let go of the pole and Pickachan noticed that she wasn't holding it up at all, it had been rammed into a machine of some kind.

As the electricity surged through the metal into the machine its gears began to turn once again. Pikachan then heard what she thought was a shout. She turned to see Rob yelling something and pointing franticly.

"What??!!" Pikachan yelled, "I CAN'T HEAR YOU BECAUSE MY EARS ARE-"

Pikachan didn't finish that sentence because tons of crates had just fallen on her.

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Phil held his Zenator between himself and Billzoomer. The dark author tried to find a way around the strange weapon. Suddenly he was struck with and idea and the catwalk floor was struck with his glove. Phil was completely disoriented as the entire floor structure on which he stood disappeared. He landed rather roughly on the top on one of the high shelves. Billzoomer leapt immediately after he landed and soon he and Philzurfer were standing on the same shelf. He rushed forward toward the still rising Philzurfer.

Bill was feet away when a loud snapping sound was heard below them. The entire self began to tip. Phil, already in a crouched position leapt to the next shelf as his own began to fall. Billzoomer barely managed to get to the next shelf before the one he was standing on landed on a mustached person in Jedi robes.

He quickly realized the he and Philzurfer were now on separate shelves separated by a lot of open space. He wouldn't be able to make the jump and it would take too long to get from to the other by climbing. Also it seemed that the other authors were quickly finishing their battles and would soon come after him to aid their friend.

He shook his head at the though of another victory lost and pressed a button on his watch. "You've evaded me again Phil." He shouted to his adversary as a portal appeared five feet behind him. He slowly backed toward it. "But remember, I haven't given up yet and I'm not about to start. So goodbye until we meet agaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!(thud)"

Phil stood in shock as his foe dropped out of sight. The portal had appeared five feet behind Bill, but the shelf ended three feet behind him.

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Supersonic broke off another of chaos' limbs that was attempting to spear him. Every time chaos lost a part of himself he would simply shift his composition and re-grow it. There was only one drawback to this. He was using up mass. The pointed appendages that Supersonic was severing were now about the size of toothpicks. Chaos realized that he was now under a foot tall and that supersonic was gaining ground. He abandoned his attack and began to run. Unfortunately its really hard to run fast with such tiny legs so supersonic Quickly caught up to him and squashed him flat under one of his feet.

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Mysterious swung her whip over her head to lay a killing blow on her dark author. Or at least it would have, but the whip broke at the handle. Mysterious began to grow very tired of her opponents luck. Flying was simply walking around making comments on how the building ought to be better maintained, and seemed to be completely oblivious to her attacker.

The Author who's face was hidden by a ski mask threw a broken plank at her opponent, only to have it his a lever that caused a crate to drop where Mysterious would have been standing if she had not quickly moved out of the way. She quickly braced herself for Flying High's counterattack.

And she kept waiting. Soon she realized that Flying High wasn't trying to attack her. She shrugged as she realized that as long as she left her alone she would be fine. So she shrugged and reluctantly walked away.

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Bob pinned the sword to the wall with his ax, unfortunately this meant that both of the weapons were now stuck to the wall. Therefore the two authors were engaged in a hand to hand battle. Finally Rob hit Bob with a blow that sent him stumbling toward the wall. Whilst Bob regained his balance Rob tore the two weapons from the wall and retrieved his sword. Then, smiling he turned to face his twin.

"Do you give up yet?" He said smugly.

Then there was a strange grinding sound and he turned to see a platform over Pikachan about to drop its contents onto the tall Pikachu. "Pikachan you fool!! Look out!" He yelled. Unfortunately the Dark author didn't hear her ally and therefore did not avoid her fate. Rob gritted his teeth and turned back to Bob. Only to find him taking aim with his Vegitizer weapon……

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The authors met outside the building. They turned back as it fell to the ground and released a huge cloud of embers and smoke.

"At least that's finally over." Mysterious said simply.

"Hey Bob," Tuffles added "I'm sorry about Saberflame, well, dying and all."

"Eh?" Bob said as e looked away from the building "Oh don't worry about it, he isn't dead."

"Um, Bob?" Darth Bowser said carefully "We know it must be hard to accept, but we all saw it and there's no use denying it."

Bob shook his head. "No, you just don't understand how it works. We haven't beaten the dark authors today, and we never will. Sure we've subdued them, but they'll be back. You can push negative thoughts away, but they will always return. So you just have to keep fighting. As for Saberflame, well, he is also a dark author."

At this Bob got confused looks from the other authors, but he continued. "That's how he started out at least, but he was too chaotic to really cause any harm. Eventually I accepted his existence and he became a regular part of me. That caused him to become like a regular author, and eventually develop a dark author of his own. Meanwhile Rob stepped up to take his place. Therefor, as in any multiple personality case, the secondary personalities cannot die as long as the central personality lives on. So he will be back, just as your dark authors will be back. But, If the central personality were to die, all of the secondary ones would cease to exist. That's why the dark authors have only tried to imprison you instead of kill you."

"I guess that makes sense." Supersonic shrugged, "Hey Phil, what's wrong?"

Philzurfer was starring blankly at the ruined building (which seemed to have a person wearing a tie dyed shirt climbing out of it). "Billzoomer, he didn't get away this time."

"Yeah Phil." Bob said rolling his eyes. "You won, get over it."

"Well, maybe he didn't really die." Philzurfer said hopefully. "After all, you can never be sure with falls."

"Actually," Supersonic said, "I think I saw him after he fell, but I can't really be sure it was him. Do you keep Billzoomers dental records on file anywhere?"

Phil looked at Supersonic horrified at what he said.

"Look Phil." Bob said patting him on the back, "He'll be back, you didn't really beat him."

"Oh, okay." Philzurfer said, looking visibly happier at that realization.

"Shouldn't we go get the Digidestined?" Darth Bowser asked.

"The who?" Philzurfer asked.

"Never mind," Darth Bowser shrugged

"Hey," Tuffles said suddenly, "What happened to Incognito?"

All of the authors looked around and realized that Incognito was nowhere to be seen.

"He just, stopped existing." Bob shrugged.

"He will be missed." Mysterious said gloomily.

"Well enough about all this post battle depression!" Bob said, clapping his hands together. "I think I see William and David coming back, so lets all go have lunch somewhere shall we? I'm making teriyaki."

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It's finally out! I'm so sorry it took that long. There was just a long period where I stopped writing. I never did stop reading and keeping in touch, I just didn't post, but I'm over that now! I'M BACK. So expect me to post regularly again.