It's been a while I didn't write, I'm sorry about the long absence. And I come back in English, and with a short story. This one is for the Undertale Secret Santa, for AerisHikari. I hope you like it!
It's an Underfell story from the point of view of Papyrus. I hope my English is not too wonky... anyway, enjoy!
O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*O
Such is life in the Underground: you don't get to make friends. Friends are dangerous. Friends betray your trust and backstab you all the time. There can be no friends in a world where it's kill or be killed.
So, what kind of relationships do you get in this dark place, you ask me.
And I, the Great and Terrifying Papyrus, answers: there can only be rivals.
The Underground is a world of violence, indeed, but it's not like one can just go on a rampage and dust all their neighbors. The King and his Royal Guard make sure that no one steps over the line, to ensure that the casualties are kept to a minimum, while the rampant hatred is kept as high as possible.
Hatred. Rivalry. Violence.
We are monsters after all. Monsters prisoners under a stupid mountain, behind a stupid Barrier, because of stupid humans. They should have killed us all while they had the chance, I say. Because when we get out, it will be the end of them. We have honed our teeth, trained our bodies-
-so which body did you train, bro?
Let's ignore this stupid intervention and continue with my story. Where was I…?
Ah yes. Training.
I need more training. Always more. Because I can't wait to be the strongest. I HAVE to be the strongest. And become Captain of the Royal Guard. I can't wait to put them all back in their place, and begin my reign of terror, and-
And…
… leave this little village I live in. Leave my annoying brother. Leave it all. And be alone. Feared by all. Everybody will be able to trust in my violence.
-hey bro… don't you think something smells… rather fishy?
GREAT. Exactly the thing I needed now… NOT.
-TIME FOR THE COOKING LESSON, DUMBASSES!
She comes flying through the window, and there are glass shards all over the place. And I just finished cleaning the living room - except for my brother's socks, he can pick them up himself. She has a blue spear in her hands, and she looks at me intently with her only visible eye. I sigh. Can't she knock on the door like everybody else?
-Always be ready for a surprise attack, Papyrus! Even if it's a surprise cooking lesson!
-I DON'T NEED A COOKING LESSON UNDYNE, WHERE DID YOU GET THAT IDEA? WHY SHOULD I GET A COOKING LESSON FROM THE CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD, MY NUMBER ONE RIVAL, MY ARCH-NEMESIS?!
But she's already in the kitchen, and I really need to go before she breaks the whole room. I sigh again.
O*O*O
The house is half in ruins, we're both covered in cuts and bruises, my brother is nowhere to be seen, and worse of all, nothing edible came out of the cooking session. What a damn waste of time. Why do you keep tormenting me so much, Undyne?
She opens her mouth to reveal a very large smile, and I can't help but envy how pointy her teeth are. She replies: "Because you're my favorite rival, Papyrus."
I sigh for the millionth time today since she arrived in my home, and I get up, shaking the snow from my bones. She does the same - well, for her scales. It must have been very cold to her. I wonder how she can still move, actually. And unsurprisingly, she proposes that we go eat something at Grillby's to warm up. I take a look at what used to be my house and now looks like a ruin, and I accept.
O*O*O
They say you have to know your rivals to know how to beat them. Well I know that Undyne is a terrible drunk, but I still can't beat her even after she took at least 30 shots of strong liquor. Grillby pushed us out of the bar just before the rumble began, and I am now surrounded by trees cut in two. My breath is short, and now she's falling in the snow again, and she's snoring noisily. I just can't understand how that monster works. That's probably why she's my greatest rival, the biggest challenge in my life.
And it's because she's my best rival that I won't let her sleep in the snow and get devoured by the dogs. I get her on my back - she's so heavy! - and I head back home. I need to kill her myself, after a long and climatic battle. I can't have her fall to some stupid wild dogs because of drunken stupor.
Surprisingly, the roof has been patched already, and there are no more flames coming out of the kitchen. I see my brother lazily pointing the broken window to a repairman. He can't keep the house clean, but he can at least keep it habitable when needed. And by that I mean pay for the repairs, since he can't do it himself. What a loser. I hope he's happy to have such a reliable brother such as myself.
-you mean a brother who has friend that has no common sense or use for doors?
-SHUT UP SANS I HAVE NO FRIENDS!
I throw Undyne on the couch, and I check how much the kitchen got destroyed. There is tomato juice and burnt spots everywhere. Surprisingly, the appliances still work. I get to cleaning.
O*O*O
It's now morning - as far as I know, time has no meaning since I don't sleep and the roof doesn't change, but the clock says it's late in the morning, and after all the repairs I've done since the last few hours, I'm too tired to contradict it.
-Oh, my heeeeaaaad… it's splitting in two…
-Don't tempt me, or I'll really split your stupid fish-head in two!
-You think you're up to it? Even like this, I can still squash you like- oooowoooowoo my head…
I give her a glass of water. She drinks it all in one gulp. And I invite her for a light meal, but not without a few insults and taunts.
I need to take care of my best rival after all.