I already have this in my profile, but I've created an AO3 account! it's the same name as my account here. so if you could give me a follow or something, that'd be greatly appreciated! thanks a lot!
anyway, I tried to keep this as Happy-like as I could, but you know...
Home had never really come easily to her. The word was just an idea she tried to push to the back of her mind. But when it was somehow brought to the forefront, it always wound up causing her pain. She had bounced around from foster family, to group home, and back again, sometimes only staying enough days to count them on her fingers, and it'd quickly taught her how to close herself off.
Rejection had easily fallen into a pattern for her. And the thought of a permanent home was something she detached from as time elapsed. The word permanent lost its touch in her reality.
For years following her departure from the foster system, it became simple to push people away, to bury the stupid childhood longing for a home.
When Walter hired her, she was pleased to find his mindset was similar to hers. They'd engage in simple conversations about work, never attempting the small talk that they both detested. After Sly came along, things were shaken up a bit. He'd be more questioning about her interests, and her background, which she only gave curt replies to. Inquiry about her projects was what got her talking. And Toby's arrival had changed the company's dynamic almost completely. On his first day, he tried to get a read on her and Sly. Sly'd been more susceptible to the doc's behaviorist tricks, but Happy had prevented him from learning any information about her. Toby endlessly prodded and poked and bothered her afterwards, never going a day without annoying her in some right.
She'd constantly become irritated with him. She found him to be an arrogant jackass who couldn't hold onto a paycheck.
But a few years went by, Mark had been removed, Amy left him, Paige and Ralph joined the team, and he started to romantically pursue her. Of course, she'd pushed him away, ignoring the majority of his attempts.
He was relentless. Hinting subtly, and not subtly, about interest in developing a relationship. Which simultaneously annoyed the hell out of her, and got her beginning to feel things she didn't think were possible for her to feel.
And then she started to realize. New thoughts had hit her, one by one, at the end of each day. And she thought maybe she didn't really hate him after all. She had begun to find that letting him in wasn't such a bad thing. He'd admittedly become her best friend, proving that maybe when he told her he'd take care of her, he meant it. Then he'd revealed that he was in love with her, and she knew she was screwed. She accepted a date, hell, she'd even worn perfume, but then she really did get screwed. He broke her trust, and her shields went up much faster than the time it took them to come down.
Nearly a year went by before Happy finally let him in again. They had moments, babysitting Ralph after Walt's accident, the dollhouse, various shared looks in the garage. At one point she had drove him so far away that she thought he was out of reach for good, and they could never go back.
Eventually she had to admit there were actual feelings there. Feelings that scared her almost enough to prevent her from acting upon them. But a conversation with Sly, nearly dying in a snowstorm, and the old video from her father all convinced her.
Things then started to fall into place. Navigating their relationship wasn't easy. And hiding it from Walt and the guys made it additionally difficult. But humanity was breaking the gears that kept her functioning since childhood. She'd been working to change, she wanted to change.
It ended up being worth it.
It was terrifying, but Toby had remained with her. Even when she finally exposed vulnerability to him, he'd kept her promise not to hurt her.
So it sucked when she had to tell him she was already married. And it sucked when her nuptials with Walter had gotten in the way of the pregnancy. It especially sucked when the baby wasn't even there after all, and the thing bridge they'd been clinging to for weeks had come crashing down so quickly, and she thought she was going to drown in the water below.
But, as disgustingly romantic as it sounded, Toby kept her afloat. She wanted him to know she wasn't just in the marriage because of the kid, she was in it because she was in love with him. He'd let her know he felt the same, proposing to her almost immediately after she told him about the false pregnancy.
And as Happy traced her finger along the wedding invitation in her hand, she thought about how damn glad she was to have gotten here. She never thought she could, but she finally reached that place that seemed like just wistful thinking in her childhood.
For the first time in her life, she was enjoying her progress. She had a person she'd opened up her heart to, someone she trusted, someone she loved with everything in her. Just because she spent the majority of three decades cutting off the world, didn't mean she was opposed to having someone help her navigate it now.
She'd had her doubts, but now she was excited to be getting married. Permanence wasn't such a stupid and fabricated word anymore.
And through all this she was beginning to realize that maybe the idea of home wasn't a specific place. Maybe it wasn't a sickeningly perfect house she'd imagined as a kid, or the apartment she'd lived in most of her adult life. Maybe it wasn't the hope of having loving parents who'd adopt her with open arms. Maybe it wasn't just an idea she'd given up a long time ago.
Maybe...she'd already found her home.
Cause the truth is, you've never been alone. My love for you has always been there. It just took a while for our paths to cross so I could share it with you.
Toby suddenly stepped in front of her desk, placing his hat atop his head, inadvertently dragging her away from her own head. "Ready to go home, lovemuffin?"
Happy blinked, dropping the wedding invitation. She quickly swallowed the thoughts that threatened to escape her mouth, forcing a nod. "Uh, yeah, sure."
"Good, I'm exhausted." He yawned. "It's far past jammie o'clock."
She stood from her seat, giving her legs the stretch they'd been aching for. "That's never going to catch on, dummy."
"Trust me, Quinn," he replied, "It will."
Happy shook her head, but smiled nonetheless. She walked out from behind her workbench, and Toby instantly picked up her nearest hand.
They didn't even bother turning around as they called goodbyes to the rest of the team, crossing the remaining space in the room towards the exit.
Padding through the door, he gave her fingers a squeeze.
"I'm feeling Chinese takeout tonight, Hap. Thoughts?" Toby questioned, tugging on her while he bounded towards her truck.
She stepped quickly to keep up with him. "Just not that place near my building."
He nodded in agreement, scrunching his nose in repulsion at the memory. "If it comes up once, you kinda lose the taste for it altogether."
Approaching the driver's side, Happy released his hand to climb in. "While we're on the subject, not that one on the corner of Rosemary Avenue, either."
He blinked as he slid into his seat. "What's wrong with Lou's? I've been going there since I moved into my apartment!"
"Do I even need to get started on the atrocity they call sesame chicken?"
Toby rolled his eyes. He leaned back as Happy revved the engine, attempting to talk but yawning simultaneously. "Well, I'm pooped. I can't wait to get home."
Happy had to bite her lip to stop a smile from erupting across it at his comment. Because something had recently struck her.
When she looked into his eyes, she knew she was already home.