The rights on Ranma 1/2 belong to Rumiko Takahashi and others, but definitely not to me, so I hope, they don't find out.

Childcare Test

by: Devil Dan

It was a normal day in Nerima... well, as normal as you can get. Ranma and Akane were walking to school along the flood channel. Ranma almost wasn't insulting Akane, and Akane almost wasn't trying to hit him with her bag... not to mention, that she didn't pull out her mallet... yet. Instead, between the insults and the attacks, they were talking... or at least Akane was trying to.

"Ranma, were you listening to me?" Akane demanded.

"Uncute... huh?" Ranma realized, Akane was talking to him instead of trying to hit him.

"I WAS saying, that you're going to fall through in family education, if you don't get a good grade soon." The shorthaired girl said angrily.

"The next one's going to be good. We're going to have a project of some sort." The pigtailed boy said with one of his cocky smiles. "What do we need family education for anyway?"

"I don't know." Akane was dripping with sarcasm. "Maybe to become good parents?"

"Why? Nobody is going to want to marry yo..."

"RANMA NO BAKA!!!" With some help from Akane's mallet, Ranma made it to school early this morning.

After arriving at Furinkan, Akane found, that Ranma had a rather soft landing in the pool. When she found the red-haired girl, she was sitting in a tree, trying to dry her clothes at least a bit.

"That'll dry soon! Come on! Classes are about to start!" Akane shouted.

Ranma leapt down and followed her fiancee into the school building.

Finally, family study came. An adult Hinako-sensei entered the class with a large cart. In the cart were white oval shapes looking almost like eggs. Except for the green leafs on top of each. That made them look kinda like pineapples wrapped in a piece of cloth like a baby. After her came the students of a second year class including Nabiki and Kuno. Since, there were not enough free desks, the older students stood along the sides of the room.

"How many of you want to be parents some day?" The teacher started out of the blue.

Just to show their participation, all students raised their hands... all except Ranma, who -as usual- wasn't paying attention. Daisuke, from a nearby desk, poked him with his elbow in the ribs. When Ranma realized, what's happening, he raised a hand too.

Satisfied, Hinako-sensei continued. "This will be the last project on family education this year. For some of you..." she looked over to Ranma, who for once was listening and shifted a little under the gaze. "...it will be the last chance to improve their grade. Your two classes are going to take this project together. Well, you'll probably be eager to know, what's this all about. We will test your skills in childcare." For a while a wave of murmuring moved through the room. Hinako-sensei took one of the 'pineapples' out of the cart. Immediately, a face consisting of simply drawn eyes and mouth appeared on it and it started crying loudly. The teacher cradled it for a while and eventually it calmed down. "These are computer controlled baby simulators. They behave just like real babies and they have to be cared just like real babies. I've randomly build pairs. Each pair will be taking care of one baby and will be graded together. The test continues from the moment, they're taken out of the cart to the moment, they're put back in and that won't be before next week." She took her notepad and pulled the cart between the desks. "Daisuke and Yuka" She handed a sim' to Daisuke. "Hiroshi and Sayuri." She handed another sim' to Hiroshi. "Saotome Ranma and Tendo..." Both classes held their breaths while Hinako-sensei was checking her notebook. "Nabiki." She handed a sim' to Ranma while ignoring the collective face fault. Nabiki walked over to Ranma's desk. "Kuno Tatewaki and Tendo Akane." She handed one to Akane.

"My love, this is our chance!" Kuno cried and started over to Akane. Suddenly, Akane was occupied with cradling the sim' and keeping Kuno off of her. That was reduced to cradling only, when Ranma's textbook hit him in the head with a rasance, that would send any normal human (and most martial artists) to the hospital.

For once, Hinako-sensei ignored this, as she was busy with distributing the sim's. "Gosunkugi Hikaru and Kuonji Ukyo. But, since Gosunkugi's ill, he can't participate."

"That's quite all ok." Ukyo said. "If I can't be with Ranma, I'll rather be a single." She smiled. If one would look closer, he might discover a hint of sadness in that smile, but none looked that close.

Another wave of murmuring.

"Ukyo..." Ranma said for herself while looking at the chef.

"That could be an interesting experiment Kuonji-san." Hinako-sensei remarked and noted something in her notepad. She handed a sim' to Ukyo. After she was done with distributing simulators to the rest of the students, she pulled the cart back to her desk. "Any questions?"

"Yo, teach!" Ranma shouted from her place.

"Yes, Saotome-chan?" The teacher responded and turned to her.

The cursed boy frowned a little at the adress '-chan'. "These things look kinda like pineapples. How comme?"

"I don't know. The principal got them from somewhere."

Now, Ranma was worried. "They won't explode or somethin'?" She held it as far away from her, as she could.

"No, Saotome-chan. The teacher's collegium tested them and there were no explosions." Hinako-sensei reassured.

Ranma calmed down a little. "Nabiki, Wont you hold it?"

Nabiki shrugged and took the sim' from Ranma. She held it for a while in one hand, then put it on Ranma's desk with an expression of disinterest.

"What happens, when it falls us down?" Ranma asked.

Hinako-sensei took one of the remaining sim's out of the cart. "When it falls you down..." She let it fall. It hit the floor with a thumb. The face on it changed into x_x. "...you fall through."

Ranma watched the demonstration with an uneasy expression, she saw her own sim' roll of her desk and fall down. Luckily, as fast as she was, she could catch it, before it hit the floor. It immediately started crying. "And how do you turn it off?"

"You don't." The teacher said while collecting the broken sim'. "But you can comfort it by cradling it."

The redhead cradled the sim' for a while, till it calmed down.

"Yeah, Ranma. When will you learn it?" Akane said while cradling her own sim'.

Ranma frowned and the class continued with explaining, how to take care of the virtual baby.

Ranma-chan, Nabiki, Akane and Kuno were walking along the flood channel.

"Fear not, my pigtailed goddess!" Kuno said in his usual annoying way. "I know not, why that teacher paired you up with another girl, but it shall be undone. Thou, you did not have a chance to be with me, you still can become my bride!"

Ranma sighed and with a turning kick send the kendoist flying. The sim' in her arms laughed. Ranma turned to Nabiki. "Why can't you take it for a while?"

"Because, I'm busy." Nabiki replyed coldly.

"I thought, you'd do anything for money. Aren't you at least going to offer me a deal?" Ranma went for Nabiki's weak point.

"Anything but 'that'." The older girl replied.

"But aren't you worried about your grade?" Akane asked.

"I don't need the grade that badly and I know, Ranma does need it." Nabiki said with a grin.

After that, they went home, Ranma mumbling something for herself angrily. Something about 'blood sucking bitch'.

"We're home!"

"Hello!" Kasumi went to them. "Oh, my. How cute! Is that a new toy?" She said, when she saw the sim's sleeping in Akane's and Ranma's arms.

"It's a school project." Ranma said and went off heading for the bath. She thought, it'll be a good idea to change back, before the sim' starts to call her momma and asks for nursing.

Akane went with Kasumi to the living room explaining the school project. Nabiki went to her room.

"...and so, we have to take care for these things for a whole week." Just when Akane finished explaining to Kasumi, Nabiki came downstairs.

"I think it's nice. You learn, how it is to care for a baby." Kasumi said with her trademark Kasumi-smile.

"Where are pops and uncle Saotome anyway?" Nabiki asked, as she sat down in front of the television set.

"They went out." The oldest Tendo replied.

All this time, all three have, or thought they have, heard crying from upstairs. Then, the crying became clearer and louder. Suddenly, Ranma in his male form came running down the stairs with a crying sim' in his hands. "Why doesn't it stop crying?"

"Isn't it hungry or anything?" Nabiki asked.

"Impossible. I fed it before I went into the bath. When I came back and it woke up, it started and it doesn't want to stop. I tried everything!"

"I looked on the specifications for this toy on the internet." Nabiki said. "It should be rather simple. They have a few programmed needs. Feeding, enough sleep, a clean diaper, a familiar face... That's it! Ranma, when it was first activated, you where in your girl form."

"So?" Ranma asked, not understanding.

"So, it's set on your girl form. It doesn't recognize your guy form and thinks, that you're a stranger." Nabiki said with a smirk.

Ranma didn't like that smirk. He knew it only too well. "And what should I do?"

"Well..." Nabiki said. "You could try to familiarize it with your male form. That would proppably take a while. Or you could do it the easy way and change back into a girl."

Ranma considered this for a moment. Then he went to the kitchen. A splash and out came Ranma-chan with a now happy sim' in her arms.

"Ranma!" Akane seemed angry.

"What? It is the easiest way." Ranma said in defence. As much she hated being a girl it was perfectly ok for her to use her curse to make her life at least a bit easier... get free food... pull jokes on Ryoga... defeat Happosai...

"You don't understand it, do you?"

"Understand what?" Ranma asked with a puzzled look.

"Oh, forget it!" Akane said and turned back to her own sim'.

"Don't worry, Ranma, I think, you'll be a wonderful mother." Nabiki said and smirked again.

Ranma frowned and went to sit by her fiancee.

Later in the evening, Soun and Genma came home.

"This time, it ought to work, Saotome." Soun said happily.

"Yeah, Ranma and Akane are going to be married in no time." Genma replied.

As they came into the living room, the first thing they saw was a red-haired pigtailed girl sitting by the table with a bundle in her arms. Their reaction was predictable.

"Ranma, are you keeping secrets from us?!" Demon-Soun cried.

"Boy, how could you?!" Genma said, tears on edge.

"Hey, calm down! It's not, what you think. It's not a real baby, see?" Ranma showed them the sim'.

They calmed down... a little.

"I still don't like the sight." Genma said finally.

"It's a school project, O-kay?" Ranma said angrily.

"And, why are you a girl?" Genma asked suspicious.

"Because, tomboy here got me being a girl during class. As it was activated, it saw me as a girl and doesn't recognize me as a guy." Ranma said indicating to you surly can tell who.

"Well, if you were a little nicer, none of that would have happened." Akane tried to look, as if it wouldn't matter her at all.

"If you weren't such a macho chick, none of that would have happened." Ranma was angry, as always.

After one swing of the mallet, the rest of the evening was pretty uneventful. Not even Happosai showed up.

The next morning at breakfast.

Ranma and Akane yawned simultaneously.

"That stupid thing held me up all night." Akane said still half sleeping.

"Rather easy, my foot!" Ranma added rubbing her eyes.

"It wasn't sleepy." Kasumi said.

"Huh?" Ranma and Akane turned to the eldest Tendo.

"It wasn't sleepy." Kasumi repeated. "You both let it sleep the whole day. You have to keep it awake some time during the day, so it sleeps during the night." She smiled, then remembered something. "Oh, Ranma. I forgot to tell you yesterday, but a letter came for you." She pulled a white envelope out from a pocket on her apron.

"Probably another challenge." Ranma said, as she took the envelope from Kasumi.

"Or a letter from another of your fiancees." Akane was dripping with sarcasm.

Ranma chose to ignore her fiancee. She opened the envelope and found a letter. She read aloud. "Ranma Saotome. Prepare to die. I challenge you to a fight on the vacant lot near the Tendo dojo. Sighed: Ryoga Hibiki." Ranma paused looking the letter over. "There is a date too... Hey! That's today! I don't have time to fight that moron now!"

"Then ignore the challenge." Nabiki said.

"But, as a martial artist, I can't ignore a challenge either." Ranma protested.

"Then have your mother take care for it a while." Nabiki said. "It should work, since you look so much like her."

"That's a good idea, thanks Nabiki." Ranma smiled.

"That'll be 500 yen." Ranma's smile disappeared.

School was almost as usual... except for the cries and other sounds from the sim's. Shampoo showed up.

The amazone exclaimed something like: "Shampoo kill bastard child!" and tried to smash the sim' with her bonbori. Ranma managed to avoid that.

After school, Ranma didn't go home with Akane, but went right to the Saotome residence.

"Auntie Saotome! Are you home?" Ranma shouted from the front door.

"I'm right here, dear." Nodoka came around a corner. "Hello Ranko. How nice of you to visit." She spotted the sim'. "Oh? Are you playing with dolls? That makes you so much more feminine." She said with a smile.

"No, no." Ranma said. "It's a school project. We should take care of this simulators. Could you try to take it?" She held the sim' up to Nodoka.

The Saotome matriarch took it from her a little hesitantly. Once in Nodoka's arms, the sim' giggled happily. "It seems to like me."

"Yes... yes it does." Ranma said astonished for a moment. "Auntie Saotome? Could you take care for it a couple of hours?"

"Why? Shouldn't you be doing this?" Nodoka looked at Ranma.

"Yes, but I've got somethin' important." Ranma was getting inpatient.

"And what's so important."

"A challenge."

Nodoka seemed to consider this for a while, as she looked at Ranma, then at the sim', then back at Ranma. "Ranko, it is time for you to learn responsibility as a mother." She finally said with a serious face.

Ranma vinced a little at the word 'mother'. "But, I can't ignore a challenge."

"Yes you can."

"But, even real parents take a time off." Ranma tried again.

"You have to care for it for only a week." Nodoka said. "When you have your own children, you will fight for a free day."

"But, but..." Ranma tried to find something, that might convince her mother.

"No buts, Ranko." Nodoka interrupted her attempts. "If you where in my place, you would do anything to be with your child."

"Then..." Ranma sighed in resignation. "...give me at least some tips."

"With pleasure." Nodoka smiled.

When Ranma came out from the Saotome residence, it was almost time for the fight. "It seems, you're comin' with me." She said more to herself, than to the sim'. She noticed, it's already asleep. "Hope, you don't wake up, 'till it's over."

The vacant lot wasn't called vacant for nothing. There were only grass, some construction materials... and one tent.

"You finally found a way to be somewhere on time." Ranma smirked.

Ryoga was sitting in front of his tent. When he noticed Ranma, he stood up. "So you came after all." He took a fighting stance. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah, let me just put this away..." Ranma trailed off, as she looked for a place to lay the sim' down.

"No! It's just another of your attempts to flee!" Ryoga shouted and launched a flying kick at the redhead.

"Hey!" Ranma dodged the attack. "You're the one, who gets lost in the middle of the fight!"

Ryoga's response was a series of punches and kicks.

Ranma was busy with dodging them and taking the sim' out of the way. With it in her hands, she couldn't attack. The sim' woke up. It seemed to be frightened. Ranma stepped back from Ryoga's attacks, her path forming a spiral. She hadn't any trouble keeping up the soul of ice, and she knew, Ryoga was in rage. When they reached the center of the spiral... "HIRIYOU SHOTEN HA!" ...Ryoga's energy created a whirlwind. Dust and grass was rased in the air. As the dust settled, Ranma was standing in the middle of a small crater with one fist up in the air and with the other arm holding the sim'. Ryoga nowhere to be found. Ranma relaxed a little. A moment later, the lost boy crashed to the ground. The sim' was giggling.

"That should do it." Ranma said. The greater her astonishment, when he stood up.

"Ranma! Where are you?!" Ryoga was confused (not to mention disoriented). He stombelled around for a while and then went out of the sight lost once again.

The sim' seemed werri amused. "He'll be back." Ranma said cradling it. "Let's go home."

In the night, Ranma and Akane got more sleep, than before, since they were following Kasumi's tip and kept their sim's more awake the day before. Next day at school was pretty much the same as the last one. Even with Shampoos continuing attacks.

"It's a school project and I need the grade!" Ranma shouted, as she dodged another attack from the amazone. The sim seemed to be amused with the situation.

"It making Ranma stay girl!" Shampoo demanded.

"So what!?" Ranma dodged a bonbori.

"Shampoo want airen!" Shampoo withdrew the weapon from the floor and prepared for another attack.

"But I don't want you!" Ranma was preparing to dodge the attack, but it didn't came.

"Airen no want Shampoo? Then Shampoo leave!" With this, she leaped out a window and was gone.

Ranma and the sim' were staring after her.

"Don't worry Ranma. She'll be back." Akane said sarcastically.

"Well, I don't care, if she's gone." Ranma said, angry out of a sudden. Then she looked at the taller girl. "Where's your sim' anyway?"

"With Kuno." She said as if nothing.

"You let it with that moron?" Ranma's eyes widened.

"It turned out, that he is good at childcare. It seems, he was paying attention in classes, unlike some other student I know." Akane was poking the smaller girl with her index finger in the shoulder.

"Trying to make me jealous with Kuno? Are you that desperate?" Ranma smirked.

The sim' was looking at one girl, than at the other, then at the first again.

"Why should I try to make YOU jealous?!" The taller girl shouted.

"Hi, Ucchan!" Ranma shouted, when she entered Ucchan's.

"Hi, Ranchan! Hi, Akane!" Ukyo responded from the counter. "The usual?"

"Yeah, thanks." Ranma said and both girls seated themselves at the counter.

"How's your sim' doing?" Akane asked, as Ukyo started cooking their orders.

"Fine." The chef pointed one spatula towards Konatsu. "I found a babysitter."

Two heads turned in the direction. The male kunoichi was feeding a sim' with a bottle.

"You let Konatsu do your work!" It was more a statement from Akane, than a question.

"I'm happy to do anything, Ukyo-sama wishes." Konatsu smiled at them.

"I thought that they're locked on the parents." Ranma said.

"They are." Ukyo smiled sheepishly. "But since Gosunkugi wasn't at school, it thinks, Konatsu's the other parent."

"We're home!" Akane and Ranma shouted from the front door.

"Hello, you two." Kasumi came to them. "Ranma, you got a letter."

"Again?" Ranma took an envelope from Kasumi and opened it. "It's another challenge from Ryoga. Tomorrow on the roof of the Furinkan school building."

The next day after school.

"Nabiki! Wait a moment!" A running Ranma shouted.

"What is it?" Nabiki stopped and turned arround.

"Can't ya take it for a moment?" Ranma ran to her.

"No." The middle Tendo answered coldly.

"But I have a fight with Ryoga and I can't attack properly, when I'm holding it." Ranma demanded.

"Then put it in a backpack." Nabiki suggested. "It's not a real baby, it's sensors are accurate enough to determinate a fall to the floor, or cradling but not more."

"And why didn't you tell me before?" Ranma was angry now.

"You didn't ask." Nabiki said and left an angry redhead standing in the school yard.

Ranma found a backpack and put the sim' in it with only the face showing and she got to the roof. The only obstacles there where the staircase entrance and the railing surrounding the roof. Ryoga was already there. He pointed his bamboo umbrella at the girl before him. "You think, I'm going to hold back if you're a girl?"

"Shut up and fight!" Ranma leaped at Ryoga with a kick.

Ryoga prepared to parry it with his umbrella.

It was already dark. The street along the flood channel was illuminated with street lights. There was a silluete of a girl. She was walking slowly leaning on a staff. Her clothes were torn in several places. You probably guessed it, it was Ranma. The sim' in her backpack was asleep and by somme miracle undamaged.

"Stupid Ryoga, always challenging me." The girl mumbelled to herself. "I had to jump off the roof twice, to catch the sim', when it fell out of the pack."

Flashback: Ranma falling along the wall of the school, catching the sim' in midair, repelling of a tree branch and leaping back to the roof.

"But I won!"

Flashback: Ranma holding Ryoga in an arm lock, both falling in the school pool.

Ranma cheered up a little and walked home.

"I'm home!" Ranma entered the Tendo home.

"Hi, Ranma." Akane came up to her. She was holding something in her arms.

"What is it? Did you take the sim' back from Kuno after all?" Ranma asked looking at the bundle in Akane's arms.

"No, it's P-chan. He came back." Akane said in a cheerful voice. The bundle unwrapped and from it a little black piglet glared at the redhead.

"So there you are, Ryoga." Ranma said to the pig quietly.

Finally, family education at the end of the week came.

"At last, we got rid of those things." A once again male Ranma stated and stretched his arms, as if he didn't use them for a long time.

Hinako-sensei, this time in child form, was about to announce the results of the project.

"Okay-dokay. I have the computer readouts. You all where caring for your sim's, but that was all. Mostly three points." An 'oh' of disappointment sounded through the class. Hinako-sensei looked through her notepad. "Only one of you understood, that a baby needs entertainment too. That one was Saotome Ranma. He got full points."

Akane smiled at Ranma. "Well. Who would have thought, you had it in you."

Ranma just gave her a puzzled look, not understanding as always.

The End

Author's notes:

This is my first fic, so please be thoughtful with me. It is a kind of Batman of the Future crossower. The idea for the storry is from there. C&C welcomed at martind@inmail.sk

More to comme, so be prepared.