Hi my first fic so no flames please!! I beg of thee... Anyways read and review and enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own this plot, not the characters or Barney or, to my relief, the "I love you song" from the purple dinosaurs show.
To Love Or Not To Love:
The sky was full of dark, gloomy, semi-fluffy clouds that cried with her as she walked along the sand colored and covered streets of the Hidden Village of Sand thinking of HIM. His black, spiky hair, his lazy attitude, his charm, his awesome fishnet type shirt with his green vest…
"No, I won't think about him," Temari cried to herself, "I can't be with him so why should I suffer?!"
Just then Gaara and Kankurou walked up and stared quizzically at her and her tear-streaked face.
"Temari are you still hung up on Shikamaru Nara?" asked Gaara rather harshly," How many times do we have to tell you not to cry for him? If you love him so much go to Konoha and tell him; if not, stop crying, I need you for a mission."
She sighed, stands up, straightens her dress, and says," Fill me in on the nature of the mission on the way to HQ."
Sand Village headquarters:
"I just received word from Konoha that one of their mission squads have disappeared completely off the map, while they were searching for Itachi Uchiha of the Akatsuki," stated Gaara to a table full of jonins and with his siblings leaning against the wall beside him. "One of the legendary Sannin, Lady Tsunade, and Hokage of the Village Hidden in the Leaves has requested our help in recovering her missing squad; I have accepted this mission to strengthen our terms with our counterparts in the Leaf Village." When Gaara said that last line he looked straight at Temari.
"But, Kazekage-sama we know nothing of the Akatsuki except they are after yours and Naruto Uzamakis' inner-demons," shouted one jonin dressed in rather heavy coverings; he was covered head to toe in mud colored robes.
"I have received new information from Lady Tsunade when I agreed to take on this mission, I have a whole paper on Itachi Uchiha and his partner Kisame Hoshigaki, who she believes he's with, right here on the mission sheets," Gaara stated as he passed around copies of the mission information including: who's going, the targets, and all they're info, as well as the stats for the squad members. Mission information sheet: Temari starred in shock at the sheet the said that the one she loved was missing.
"… That's the entire plan. Temari are you listening?" Inquired Gaara, "I chose you because I knew you would put your all into this mission so don't prove me wrong, 'Kay," continued Gaara.
"'Kay," Temari murmured thinking of the soon to be dead man who dared to put Shikamaru in danger.
Konoha HQ:
"Alright the Kazakage of the Sand Village has agreed to help us out, provided we release Shikamaru Nara if he wishes to go to the Sand shinobi and I've agreed," stated the 5th, while drinking a bottle of sake," But their sending the same squad that they did to the Chunnin Exams under the 3rd, including their current Kazakage. So are their any complaints?"
"I have one," said a masked jonin.
"Then speak up Kabuto!" snapped Tsunade," I haven't got time for your prejudice against Gaara, Temari, and Kankurou, They saved your scrawny butt when my former colleague Orchimaru was trying to kill you!"
"Sorry Lady Hokage, but do you think it wise to entrust the lives of our 4 most prized shinobi in the hands of the 3 people who were the leaders in the revolt that killed the 3rd?"
At this Tsunade smiled and said," Is the pot calling the kettle black Kabuto-kun? I believe that you're the big traitor, you betrayed your comrades and your village in order to follow your "love", and do you not think it wise to trust such strong shinobi?"
"Hai I'm sorry I was wrong," murmured Kabuto, embarrassed.
Somewhere in the Hidden Village of Rock:
"You won't get away with this you, you baka yaro!!" shouted the relatively quiet Hinata Hyuuga, as she struggled against the ropes that bound her to the normally big-mouthed, but now quiet Sakura Haruno.
"Calm down Hinata shouting won't get this onara atama to release us," said Naruto Uzumaki calmly.
"As much as I hate to admit it Naruto's right, I have a plan though. Hey, Sakura can you use a simple genjutsu to get the guards to investigate?" asked Shikamaru Nara, who was bound to Naruto.
"Ummmm, hang on I can try," said a rather surprised Sakura. She concentrated and managed to make an illusion: her squad sneaking towards the door while the chairs are empty.
"Good job now we wait", said Shikamaru, while grinning.
They didn't have long to wait. Soon the place was home to four unconscious guards disguised as them. (They were knocked out by Hinata after Naruto distracted them with his sexy jutsu, the guards were all dudes)
"Come on to the exit, chaaaaaaaa!" shouted a now perky Sakura, a wee bit too loud…
Suddenly, a tall, sexy, older version of Sasuke Uchiha, who's the current" toy" of Orchimaru, appeared in the doorway in the form of Itachi Uchiha…
10 Minutes Later:
A now subdued Hinata was tied, with chains, to a chair in a white padded room; she was also being tormented by being forced to watch the worst show on earth, in 3D: Barney. And he was starting to sing:
"I love you You love me
we're a happy family
with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you.
won't you say you love me too" As he was singing he started approaching her to give her the best hug a 3D purple dinosaur could give; but, before he could she screamed and passed out in terror.
In the next room Naruto was being hanged upside down, by his ankles, while being kept nice and toasty with a lovely body coat of ropes and chains. (Its like they don't trust him at all, I know shocking) He was also hanging 10 inches from a bowl of extremely good smelling ramen.(Cruel people to torture him that way I guess I should have some mercy so here it goes) As he heard a bloodcurdling scream he was knocked unconscious by its extremely high pitch.
One hallway over Shikamaru was being forced to watch, in a shadow-less room, Bevis and Butthead. And he could feel his IQ dropping, fast. If he couldn't come up with a plan soon he would be as brain-dead as Naruto…
Sakura was watching a very horrible video of Sasuke being tormented by Itachi, over and over. And she couuldn't move or open her mouth.(it was super sexy Itachis' Mangekyo Sharingan technique Tsukuyomi,)
If you're wondering why Shikamaru and Hinata couldn't close their eyes is because superglue is really strong:P
Dictionary:
onara atama- fart head
baka yaro- stupid bastard
P.S. everything in bold is my little notes and I call Itachi sexy because I can't tell a lie :P