Prologue | smile and dry your blood-filled tears
"As if he could make you happy", her voice was low and filled with dry sarcasm.
She looked down at her hands and sighed. "I am your blood, Erin. I should stay with you and not some part-time lover of yours!" She wanted to shout out this cutting pain she was feeling but her burning throat silenced her immediately. Everything about her was hurting in that specific moment.
"Why am I never good enough?", she whispered in a hoarse voice. Tears were starting to appear in her dark eyes. It was always the same, she thought to herself.
Her right hand grabbed her thin arm, the movement like a distant dream of hers, as she roughly started to dug her fingers into the flesh until she could feel a dulled, well-known pain. It made her feel good, satisfied even. "Royal, stop it! Stop! Now!", her aunt shouted desperately. "God, you have some serious problems going on, kid!" She shook her head in a lost manner and looked at her thirteen year old niece.
It was wrong. Everything about this whole situation was wrong and she had to stop it.
"Okay", she breathed out and walked towards the young girl, "We're going to calm down now and talk about this like normal people, yes?" Normal people. It repeated itself inside her head like a permanent loop and didn't stop until her aunt grabbed her by the legs; carefully and unsure of how she would react.
Her bloodshot, black eyes wandered to the face of Erin. A slight smile appeared on her dry lips and seemed sadly out of place. "Like normal people", she mumbled and nodded at the same time.
"It's all gonna be fine, Ro. You'll see."
Royal turned her head to the dirty car window and snorted inwardly. 'Sure', she thought sarcastically. 'Everything will be just perfect' - "How long 'til we're there?", she heard her own voice ask instead. Her limbs were tired and sore from the long drive, as it was the same with her mind.
In the last couple of days, everything had turned into shit. It was painful to admit but Royal was lonely like never before.
She grabbed the small silver jewelry pendant that hang around her neck. Followed by an immediate ache in her chest was she holding back the tears. She perceived an exhausting heaviness, which had burned its way into her bones and made it to a life-time mission to slowly but surely destroy her completeness.
"What if he doesn't want me?", she slightly provoked. But even she could hear the grief out of the words, violently wrapped around her voice. 'What if he doesn't want me, too', she thought.
Her aunt sighed loudly as Royal recognized the tension in her shoulders. Erin grimaced and looked in the wing mirror, looking out for other cars and drove carefully into a one-way street after she hadn't seen any.
"Your father-" - "My father?", she repeated and laughed mockingly. "No. I don't have a father."
Erin rubbed her forehand and sighed, again. "He is your father, Royal. It might be all true that he wasn't there for you and your mother but.. he is still your father, so don't act that way."
'Don't act that way? I'm grieving for fuck's sake.', her inner voice was desperately screaming.
"How long until we're there", she asked again and observed the several single-family homes at the respective sides of the narrow road. Charming. A small, seemingly dead town compared to New York.
And it all felt like a nightmare to Royal. Her mother's death was the most unexpected thing in her entire life. Thus, her mind still couldn't completely process it and she feared the moment when it finally will.
"Not much longer, Ro. Almost there", Erin answered with an almost nervous undertone to her words. "How will he react?", Royal mumbled, uncertain about the whole situation.
There were plenty of scenarios in her head of how the arrival would be like. And not one existed that involved a 'tears of happiness, I-missed-you-so-much' reunion.
Her aunt put a hand on her thigh and smiled encouragingly. "He already knows. The worst part is behind us."
Royal snorted in a disapproval manner and suddenly recognized the MC clubhouse in front of them. Her heartbeat fastened and pounded almost painfully against her chest. She felt her entirely self freaking out by the thought of meeting her father.
It wasn't like she never met him before. There was a time in her younger years when he was actually there, visiting her mother and the whole family, but she was too young to remember it altogether, now.
Erin drove through a half-opened gate as Royal was flashed by the whole scene in front of her. The arrival happened so fast; it seemed like an indescribably, unreal dream.
A few men in leather vests were gathered next and in front of a line of parked motorcycles. Some of them hold lit cigarettes in their hands while each of them contributed to a seemingly lighthearted conversation.
"'You' seeing him?", Royal gulped and looked around the place. She couldn't even tell who her own father was. How should this plan ever work out the right way?
Her aunt shook her head and carefully stopped the car after estimating the silent situation. "No, honey. I don't see him but he must be here. I can assure you." Royal felt her heartbeat faster and more intense than ever. Her fingers played with her many leather bracelets on her left wrist as she unsuccessfully tried to calm her down.
Erin looked at her golden watch and nodded to herself. "Okay, honey. Time to face the unknown", she added to her niece's silence.
After Royal had opened the door she slowly walked to Erin and tried to be as inconspicuous as possible. Her dark hair laid in thick waves on her shoulders and continued to fall down to her hipbones. An inner urge forced her to go through some strands of hair while waiting for anyone to react.
The group of men slowly started to pay them attention, one after another. She looked at all of them and simply didn't know what to do.
Should she walk towards them, wave a hand or just wait for her aunt to do the first step?
It was a mixture of all three, the second a seriously looking man started to walk over. Her hands were slightly shaking and her palms wet with sweat.
She threw a glance at Erin who didn't do anything but stare. Just like her. If it wouldn't have been this scary and incomprehensible situation, she had probably started to laugh, by now.
"You lost?", the man asked with a raised eyebrow as he stood in front of them.
He had white hair and blue eyes that shimmered with a dangerous gleam of ruthlessness. As far as Royal could assess that.
Erin cleared her throat and began to speak while she went through her brown leather bag. "I-uh.. I gave a.. a Mr. Lowman a call, already?", she stated but sounded more doubtfully about it. She let out a relived sigh after she had pulled out a piece of paper and nervously showed him.
"He is her father", Erin gulped and turned her head towards Royal's wispy figure.
The man looked at her immediately. The shock was written on his face, all blankly and confused. "What?", he asked loudly, then shut his eyes and rubbed bis forehead. "You must be fucking kiddin' me."
Royal blew out a hold of breath when she heard him curse. It made her even more nervous.
She had thought that it couldn't get any worse before she saw a murderously looking man, having a grip around the handle of a gun, rushing towards them.
And then she became aware of the fact that his face seemed alarmingly familiar to her.
And she just couldn't handle it anymore.
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hey, this is my very first fanfiction! And I'm so happy and excited to see how this project will develop in the near future.
I hope that some of you will stick around, I will also apologize for any grammatical and other errors; English isn't my first language, thus, this is a real challenge to me! ;))
I don't own anything but my OC's.
And this is just the prologue, it will get better, I promise. :D
Thank you for visiting this story and reading! ^^