Shepard never thought that she would die alone.
Yes, she had died amongst the stars years ago, but there was so much commotion, so much flurry of life around her, that she could believe that death had not truly found her. And yet he had, and she had slipped from this world to the next. So when she was gifted a second life, she lived it as fully as she could, shedding the appearance of the unflappable Commander and taking up one of a flawed but ultimately human leader. She had hoped that this would merit her a worthy death.
Of course, her death surpassed worthy. It was perhaps the only sacrifice that could placate the vengeful forces of the universe. But she never thought that she would once again be left abandoned to the solitude of the cold breath of death. She thought that this time –this time– she would at least face death in the company of those she loved. She knew that it was a selfish thought, a fool's hope, but it was the one wish that she cherished so fiercely, the one hope that she refused to snuff out amidst the torrents of death and destruction that buffeted her, that she clung to it like a child to a parent.
Yet as she stood in the presence of the child-like apparition of the Catalyst, she knew that she would die alone. She would feel her soul slip through her fingers in the presence of an unfeeling demigod, a force that coerced her to make one last decision. She had no one to lean on as she faced the choice before her, and the debris and flames that dotted the sky blotted out the stars that had graced her last death.
She was alone.
And that frightened her.
She told herself that it was the adrenaline. Commander Shepard could not fear death for she had conquered it. But she felt the familiar quivers of fear slither through her stomach as her muddled mind struggled to make the final decision. Her final decision.
She suddenly stumbled forward, duty pressing on her shoulders, whispering that she needed to act now and act swiftly. Her eyes registered light, ears a low thrum, tongue salty sweat and metallic blood, yet somehow, her thoughts formed a consensus and drove her forward. She felt her whole being groan at the movement, torn muscles, singed lungs, pleading heart, begging her to stop and allow her just one more moment, but the whisper in her ear muffled her dread and urged her forward, mind reeling with unfinished thoughts. She would never know if her decision had been the right one. Never know what her wise companions would say as she stared at the futures of the galaxy laid out before her. Never have the satisfaction of living a life she had wanted and living it to the fullest. Tears mingled easily with the blood on her face and for a moment she fancied that she felt a breeze caress her lips. But she knew that there was no breeze, no whispered goodbye from her lover hidden in its empty song. All that stood before her was a choice, its essence humming about her as it drowned her thoughts and sealed her fate. In a moment of lucidity, she realized that it was to be her last step before her name collected dust in the pages of a history book.
She paused then, allowing herself to revel in the feelings of her last moments of life, smiling as she realized that although she was exhausted and crying, her body still pressed dutifully on, fulfilling its one purpose despite death glowing mere inches away. And in that moment, she knew that she was not alone; to feel life so keenly as she stared into the face of death meant that some part of her lived on in those she loved. It was not a perfect explanation, not a perfect comfort, but she deemed it worthy and accepted it.
Satisfied with what little life she had left, Shepard nodded to herself, eyes closed against the visage of the child beside her, and exhaled, sending her last breath into the eager hands of Fate.
Author's Note: Happy N7 day, folks! Had this lying around for a few years now, so decided to spruce it up and post it in honor of the day. Hope you enjoyed.