Kingdom Hearts: The True Story
By: Tour Guide62
Disclaimer: Fortunately for everyone, I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Square Enix plus Disney do.
Sorry if this is confusing, but the Narrator is telling the story and will interrupt, help, or insult Sora at different times. When he's telling the story, he has no quotation marks around his lines, but when he directly interacts with the characters his lines will have quotations around them.
A boy was sinking in the ocean. He had spiky brown hair, a red shirt, red pants, blue belt, white and black jacket, a crown necklace, and yellow shoes. His name was Sora, and if you looked at him, you'd never guess he was having a monologue inside his head.
I've been having these weird dreams lately, Sora thought. Like one time I was at the beach, but I forgot my swimsuit, and everyone was having a good time except for me, and…
After several minutes of Sora crying, he landed on a platform with a girl in a yellow dress.
After looking around Sora looked up and shouted, "HEY! Wasn't there supposed to be some big theme song?"
"Well… we ran into some budget problems…" mumbled the Narrator.
"Like?"
"Do you know how much Keyblades cost to make? Your lucky we could even make this story."
"Whatever. What do you need me to do?"
"Walk forward."
"That's it?"
"That's it."
Sora walked forward into the middle of the platform. "Well?" He asked. "What now?"
Before the snot nosed little punk had a chance to whine some more, three pedestals appeared out of the ground. On each of the pedestals floated one of three weapons: a shield, a sword, and a staff. Sora walked over to choose one…
"I pick all of them!" Sora yells. A second later a huge lightening bolt hits him.
"STICK TO THE SCRIPT!" The Narrator yelled.
"ALL RIGHT! SHEESH!" Sora yelled. He continued grumbling as he walked over and grabbed the sword.
"That will be 1000 munny please." Said the Narrator.
"What?!? What happened to sticking with the script?" complained Sora.
"I told you we were having budget problems. Now pay up, freeloader."
"Stupid costs. I'm the star for God's sake…" Sora reached into his pocket and pulled out the munny. It disappeared in a bright flash of light. "Wait! I want my money back! I want my money back!" Sora threw himself to the ground and started pounding the glass with his fists, "I WANT IT BACK! I WANT…"
Sora pounded the platform so hard that it broke. The glass shattered everywhere, destroying a priceless work of art.
"Great! Do you have any idea how much a stained glass mural costs? You can kiss your paycheck good-bye pal!" The Narrator angrily said. "Anyway, Sora fell for quite sometime in the blackness…" He drifted off as Sora fell with a whistling sound.
"Sora kept falling…and falling…and falling…" The Narrator continued.
"OH, WOULD YOU JUST KNOCK IT OFF?" Sora yelled.
Sora crashed onto a platform of a girl with a blue gown. "…I…hate…you…" he said weakly. Sora pulled himself off the ground and said, "Now what?"
"Practice your swordsmanship." The Narrator advised.
"YAY! VIOLENCE!" Sora yelled. He started swinging his sword wildly around.
The Narrator was looking through the script and said, "As Sora was slaughtering the art of swordsmanship…"
"Hey!"
…He was unaware of the two shadow-like creatures behind him. These creatures were called Heartless. A common fact of Heartless is that they have no form of identity. However, this is not true for these two Heartless. One of them, Chase, had glasses, while the other, Cameron, had curly antennas.
"What was the author thinking when he gave me glasses? I look like a nerd!" said Chase.
"Aren't you blind without those, though?" asked Cameron.
"Well…yeah. But that's not the point! The point is…" Chase stopped as he noticed Sora for the first time. "Hey, is my eyesight getting worse, or is that a human?"
Cameron looked and saw Sora (who was still killing imaginary foes.) and said, "Yeah, it is! Let's get those other two over here."
Two other Heartless appeared. One of them was named Zach, and he had spiky antennas. The other was named Chris, who had blue eyes.
Chase walked over to Sora, and said, "How's it going?"
Sora paused and looked at Chase. "… AAAAAAAAHHHHHH! MONSTER!" He grabbed his sword and decapitated Chase.
Cameron screamed, "OH GOOD MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!"
Chris chortled and patted Cameron's back, "Easy. I bet Chase just shocked him." He went up to Sora and said, "Hey man!"
Sora screamed and stabbed Chris. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!" And with that, Sora jumped off the platform.
Sora fell through the darkness and landed on the next EXPENSIVE STAIN-GLASS platform. Unfortunately, he was to busy freaking out.
"Shadow things… all over me… mommy…" He sobbed as he writhed on the ground.
"AHEM!" said the Narrator loudly.
Sora seemed to snap out of it. He sat up, and with false bravado, said, "Uh…I mean…HA! Bet those things will think twice before trying to kill me again. Haha…" His boast was somewhat ruined by the whimper at the end.
Meanwhile, back with Zach and Cameron…
Zach looked at Cameron and said, "Maybe we should bake him something…"
Back to Sora…
Sora had completely broken down and was sobbing heavily.
The Narrator just looked at him, sighed, and said, "Do you want to get out of here?"
Sora looked up in tears and said, "YES!"
The Narrator pointed at a far off door and said, "Then go over there."
Sora jumped up and rushed to the door. He pushed it opened and was blinded by a bright light. When his eyes cleared, he was on an island, and surrounded by a girl in yellow, a guy with a beach ball, and a guy with a staff.
Sora looked around and said, "Sheesh! Who lives in this dump?"
The Narrator shook his head and mumbled, "…You do."
Sora ignored the Narrator and pointed to the three others, "And who are these freaks?"
The Narrator paused for a second, before saying, "You know what? This isn't really all that important."
The guy with the staff yelled, "What about us?!?"
The Narrator looked at him and said, "What about you?" He quickly showed Sora the door to the next platform.
Sora went through the door and ended up at a platform that had a girl surrounded by thorns depicted on it.
Suddenly the four Heartless from before (Chase, Cameron, Chris, and Zach), came out of nowhere.
Cameron looked at Chase and Chris and said, "I thought you two were dead."
Chase laughed and said, "Oh Cameron. We're just personifications that the author used to make Sora's actions seem horrible!"
A lightening bolt came and zapped Chase. He coughed and said, "I mean, we're just part of the Darkness. We get reborn!"
Zach shrugged and said, "Who cares?" He looked at Sora and pulled out a cake with black frosting. "Want some cake!"
Sora took a deep breath, and then screamed "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! THE CAKE IS A LIE!" He grabbed his sword and massacred the Heartless. He took deep breaths and said, "Those things are so…creepy…"
Chris looked around at his now limbless body, lying several feet away from his decapitated head. He said weakly, "That's going to hurt in the morning…"
Zach, who was missing his legs and lower jaw, made a gurgling noise.
Chase, whose glasses were askew and had a stab wound in his chest, said to the other two, "I think he said 'All I wanted was to give him some cake.'"
So after maiming 4 innocent Heartless, Sora made his way up to another platform…
Sora, who was climbing the stairs, stopped and panted, "I hate this place."
…And finally reached the top stair.
Sora collapsed with a WHEW!
Before Sora could do anything more, his shadow grew and turned into the giant Darkside.
Sora got up, pulled out his sword, and said confidently, "I can beat you no problem." His sword disappeared in a bright flash of light. He looked at it and said, "Oh crap…"
Darkside simply punted Sora like a football.
The Narrator laughed, "HAHAHAHAHA…," He cleared his throat and said, "And so, Sora was launched out of his dream and back to reality…"
And so it begins…
Hope you liked this story so far! If so, review please.
(Takes a look at the cost of stain glass platform repair) Oh, Sora is so not getting his paycheck…
I went back and fixed this chapter and made it more of a story than a script. Sorry it took so long.