Third Last Chapter

Office of Special Projects, Los Angeles

Deeks tried his best to help Kensi get back to normal after they returned. She spent the first two weeks in the hospital, getting her body to heal. Whenever the detective or any member of the team would come by to visit, they would always find her asleep, whether real or feigned, they couldn't tell. She apparently didn't want to see anyone, but most especially him.

After her discharge, she spent the next three weeks in physical therapy, trying to find out how much her body was still capable of doing. She still favored some of her muscles that had been deeply injured, and her endurance had to be built back up. But she was constantly pushing her limits, trying to get back to going out with the team, no matter what further risk of injury she faced.

Dr. Nate Getaz met with her daily, to try to help her heal the damage her mind endured because of the torture. There were a lot of issues that she was going to have to deal with, and most of them were things she would sooner wall off in the back of her mind and forget about. Soon physical therapy declared her fit for modified desk duty, but Nate did not clear her on her psychological evaluation. She came into work, reluctantly did all her waiting paperwork, and then sat, twiddling her thumbs.

Things appeared to get worse when Eric called them up fo their first case since her return. After being briefed up in Ops, Callen divided the work among the agents. Both Deeks and Nell were surprised to find out the two of them were to again be partnered in the field, and Kensi was ordered to help Eric run surveillance up in the tech center. Deeks raised one questioning eyebrow at Nell, who was looking at Kensi with a sorrowful look on her face.

Kensi asked Eric what he wanted her to do. He had her watching cameras, trying to spot their subjects and give them some idea of where they were. The young woman found this task extremely boring, and began tapping her fingers on the table as she watched the scenes flash before her. Eric yelled at her three times, before he finally got up and gently put his hand over hers.

"Kensi?" he said to her.

She looked at him in shock, while he snatched his hand away, not knowing how she would react. Kensi shook her head, trying to get her mind back on track. "I'm sorry, Eric, you were saying something to me? I guess my mind was somewhere else."

"I just wanted to ask you not to tap your fingers. The noise is a little disturbing and throws my typing off."

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again," she promised. But five minutes later, she was doing it again.

It finally got too much for Eric to take. He went down and complained to Hetty, wondering if she could do her work on the small plasma downstairs where she would not bother him. Hetty agreed with this, but also made a mental note to tell Nate. Perhaps the good doctor could find out what was bothering the agent.

South Bureau Police Building, Los Angeles

A few days later, Lieutenant Bates wanted Deeks to go undercover again and the detective headed toward the precinct. When he got there he was immediately called into the Lieutenant's office.

"Deeks, we have another group out there that are looking to purchase some military grade weapons. With your tie in to NCIS, we felt that you would be the perfect one to go undercover and try to get the goods on them. I found a new handler for you, Detective Karrie Nichols, someone whom you haven't pissed off yet. I want you to make nice with her, and get the job done."

"I will try," Deeks answered. "When do we start?"

"Immediately," Bates declared, as he got up and stuck his head out the door. "Nichols, get in here," he commanded.

As the Lieutenant went back and sat behind his desk, Deeks heard the footsteps of a woman approach his office. When he turned around to watch her enter the room, his heart stopped. His jaw dropped and he tried to speak, but no words came out.

Was he seeing a ghost? It couldn't be her. The woman standing in front of him had the same lovely look. She was the same height, with olive toned skin and dark brown hair. Even her eyes were the same color that Jess used to have. She could have been Jess Traynor's twin sister.

Deeks shook his head to clear his mind and finally found his voice. "Detective Nichols, is it? No disrespect to you, but I am sorry that I cannot work with you."

Bates jumped out of his chair. "And what's wrong with her that you can't work with her?"

Deeks looked at him and said, "Just look at her. She is the spitting image of Jess Traynor. Working with her would bring back too many memories. I'm just afraid that my mind would be flipping from Jess to her. With how serious this operation could be, something like that could easily compromise the operation."

Bates thought about it for a moment, then looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, Kerry, but Deeks is right. You look a lot like one of his old handlers, and she died on that mission. We will have to find a different handler for Deeks. You're dismissed."

"Yes, sir," she said, as she turned and left the office.

Bates then turned toward Deeks and told him, "Damn it, Deeks. You always find ways to screw up my plans. Now I'll put in a call for another handler. Maybe you can ask your other boss if she can see any way I can transfer the case to her and be done with it and you."

"I'll ask, but I won't guarantee anything."

"Get out of here."

Office of Special Projects, Los Angeles

Deeks went back to the Mission and went to Hetty's office to discuss it with her. She agreed to look into it and immediately asked the wonder twins if they could find any reason to link this group with the military or with terrorists.

Deeks went back to the bullpen and joined the agents there in their favorite pastime, paperwork. When Sam asked him why he was not on his undercover mission already, Deeks told him what had gone on in Bates' office.

When he was done, Kensi just looked at him and made the comment, "So what if she reminded you of Jess. It's not as if you were in love with her or anything."

But he had been, and he never stopped loving her even after she was killed. He mumbled something to them and lost himself in his paperwork.

But he couldn't get Kensi's words out of his mind. Maybe it was time for him to leave NCIS and move on. Everything that he might possibly have had romantically going with Kensi died with that careless remark she made about Jess. There still was way too much here to remind him of the woman he loved so dearly.

If he stayed here, there would be so great a temptation for him to join her. He should have died with her so long ago. Maybe, if he stayed around here that would be the way it would work out for him. He could die and be with Jess forever. It would be so easy, suicide by crook.

. . . . .

The longer that Nate did not pass Kensi on her psych evaluation, the more Nell was teamed up with Deeks and sent out in the field, The more that Kensi saw Nell take her place with Deeks, the more snippy Kensi seemed to get with the analyst.

Nell finally came to talk to her. "Kens, you know how much I want to be a field agent. But I don't want to make it this way, taking your place on the team. You are a fantastic agent, and you will show that again to everyone, as soon as you are cleared again for duty. There is no way that I could even think that I could replace you."

"I know that in my head, but it is so hard to watch you walk off with my partner and know that I should be there in place of you," the older woman replied.

"I'm not trying to take your partner either, girl. It's just how Hetty and Callen have paired us up. Deeks is a great guy, and he has taught me a lot, but there is no, repeat no, romantic chemistry between the two of us. While you were in Afghanistan, he was partnered with Talia del Compo in addition to me. Everyone thought that there were no sparks between him and any of us gals because they thought he was carrying the torch for you. But all the gossip and office innuendo thought the same thing about Eric and me, and they are just wrong there. I just know he looks at me just as a partner, not a woman. It would have been fantastic if I had a claim on his heart, because he is one of the kindest, sweetest, bravest, most romantic man that I know.

Who is she talking about? Kensi wondered. This doesn't sound at all like Deeks.

"But it is not me, and I know Deeks has strong feelings for another woman. He has talked a lot with me on the times when we have been alone together on stakeouts while you were gone."

"Deeks talked to you about this? Kensi asked surprised

"He and I had a lot of long conversations. He has become the big brother that I never had. I feel that I can come and talk to him about anything and get an honest opinion from him on what I should do. He doesn't look at me only as the geek up in Ops who always has to be right. He allows me to make mistakes, but never judges me for them. Instead, he shows me where I went wrong, and helps me make better decisions the next time."

Kensi was absolutely surprised. This was a Deeks she had never seen. And none of this could be blamed on Afghanistan, because he was teamed up with Nell while she was over there. Had she been underestimating him all these years, or was he just showing her one of his aliases that he could put on so easily? And who was this 'other woman' of whom Nell was speaking? Was it Jess? Someone else from his past or police life? It couldn't be her, could it?"

"How did you get Deeks to open up to you like that?"

"I just listened to what he had to say."

"I listen to him all the time. God knows, after all these years of having him as my partner, I've probably listened to him more than anyone else here."

"Are you sure, Kensi?" the little redhead asked icily. "Are you sure you were listening to what Deeks had to say, and not just what you wanted him to say?" And with that, Nell went upstairs to Ops.

. . . . .

Almost a week later, things appeared to have returned to normal. Kensi had gone on her first operation since Nate had fully cleared her for field work. Deeks and Kensi were finishing up their paperwork, when the detective looked up at his partner and asked, "Are you hungry? I'm buying.

Kensi held up one finger, finished typing the last of her report and turned off her computer. She looked at Deeks and told him, "I could eat. What do you have in mind?"

"How about tacos?"

"Okay, I can do tacos. Let me go home and take a shower, change my clothes, and you can pick me up in an hour."

"You don't need to do all that."

"Deeks, I feel grody and I wanna get out of these clothes. I've worn them all day. Just pick me up in an hour."

The detective knew not to argue with her. "I'll be at your place in an hour," he said to her back as she was halfway out the door.

An hour later Deeks knocked at her door and was surprised to see her, dressed in low heels, an extremely chic dress, hair all down and wavy, and face perfectly made up. He was totally taken by surprise by how nice she was dressed.

"Ah, Kens," he asks with wonder in his voice. "Aren't you a little bit overdressed to go out and get tacos?"

"Deeks, the last time you sprang for tacos, we ended up in a very fancy restaurant."

"Au contrair, mon fere, last time we went out for tacos, we ended up at my house with pizza and beer, and spent the whole night talking about us."

"Is that what you want to do now, talk about us?"

"I think we're gonna have to, considering everything that has gone on in the past few months."