Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars, Disney does
Chapter 1: Dreams
It was cold. Ben looked around with a startle, then settled with a resigned sigh that should not be coming from a seven-year old boy.
He was on the ice planet again. In a cold, dark cavern filled with icicles. And the dark man was about to come again. The dark man he now knew to be Darth Vader.
Sure enough, the same old respirator breath resounded through the cavern. This particular dream happened to him once a month ever since he was six. And at the dates he would least expect. Sometimes early, sometimes at the tail end. But every month.
"You must prepare for your destiny," boomed the dark man.
"Leave me alone!" cried Ben. He was so sick, so tired. He could feel anger welling up inside him. "Go away with your stupid empire! You're dead, your empire is dead! DEAD DEAD DEAD.
"Such defiance, like your mother," responded the dark man. "That same, fiery passion in your heart that you don't quite know what to do with. Fitting."
"Go away," spat Ben.
"Perhaps I should leave you to your nanny," cut Vader. "You are a young child after all, one whom adults have no time for."
This, this is the part of Vader's speech that would truly hurt.
"Your mother Leia would much prefer to nurse her ideological child, the Republic. No time for her biological child I suppose," chided Darth Vader.
"But…," protested Ben.
"Dear child. The only time she was with you for even five months on end was after that one time you were kidnapped. Yet even your mother seems to have more time for you than your…"
"DON'T," yelled Ben. His anger was rising, but so was his hurt. These words, he had heard them before. But that didn't make them hurt any less.
"Your father," finished the dark specter. "He isn't even part of the New Republic. What is he … a trading captain now. His trading enterprise came after you were born, but it would seem he has more time for that than for you."
"STOP!" cried Ben. It hurt soo bad. Like glass in his heart.
Such descriptive language, Ben mused, observing how he described things. Guess it came with being the daughter of a Sen…
Who did not care for him. Anger coursed through Ben like an electric shock. He started to impose his will on this cavern.
His will to NOT be in the dream. It was force-induced, that much Ben could tell. But a specter couldn't have much hold over the physical realm.
That is why the past three times he had been able to break out. But he needed anger to do it. And the anger only came after the dark specter made those comments about his parents.
And so, Ben pushed mentally. It started to work. The cavern becoming blurry, Vader's mechanical rasping more distant.
Ben could swear he heard an organic gasp in the distance: one which didn't come from him.
But this time, his escape was not to be.
"Enough," boomed Vader.
Darkness surrounded Ben like a torrent of icicles. His head, ohh his head hurt like he was under the twin suns of Tatooine!
"Since at the present, no one cares for you, we must start talking about your future," declared Vader.
This was new, thought Ben.
"So, what shall our little boy be in the future. A medic? A senatorial assistant," mocked Vader.
"A pilot," declared Ben. "I will explore the far reaches of the galaxy. I won't be confined nowhere!"
Anywhere such as the current Republic capital, Chandrila.
"Humph, a mere pilot," snorted Vader, if he could snort. "So the son of the famed smuggler-turned-General and the last princess of Alderaan, nephew of the galaxy's Jedi Master, shall become a pilot. A dog for the New Republic. Even a Jedi would have more control over their fate."
"A dog," exclaimed Ben. "A DOG."
A fresh wave of anger buckled through Ben. Again, Ben channeled this anger outward, intent to banish Darth Vader from his mind.
This time, he succeeded.
Ben sat up in his bed with a start. His face felt a bit wet. Tears.
It's never easy to be told that you are unloved. Even if it's true," Ben thought bitterly.
Ben quickly looked over at the clock. Four-hundred hours.
Suddenly, Tee-Dee-Three floated towards him. Tee-Dee-Three was an old magnaguard droid which Ben had installed with butler programing. He kinda performed a sort of dual purpose.
"Master Ben. Your father is back home."
After about half an hour, his father made it to his room. This was the first time his father ever managed to come on a night his nightmares occurred.
"Hey kiddo," smiled Han. Then Han noticed Ben's frown. "You okay kiddo? Sleeping fine."
"I'm not kiddo," pouted Ben. "You are never here! You always of at work! The rest of the galaxy always gets to have you, but not your own kriffing son.
"Hey," warned Han, "Language."
"You know what! Just go away!" yelled Ben.
Han looked in his son's brown eyes. So much fire in them, like Leia. But fiery like when Leia talked about the empire, or her birth father Vader.
But Ben so young too. Should anyone so young be this angry?, question Han.
But Han decided to leave his son to his devices. Surely, Han reasoned, he would be better when the sun actually rose.
Two or three pieces of metal from Ben's workspace at the far side of the room slammed into the doors after they whooshed shut. But Ben didn't notice. He was so mad, so lonely, so sad.
There went his father again. Always had time for other things. But of course, dear daddy would never ask what was wrong.
Sobs started to come. Ben let them. And continued to sob as he fell back to sleep.
Why is daddy never there for me?
In this story, I will be going by Canon as of July 3, 2016. It would seem that Ben Solo turns dark at about 24 (or, at least after Bloodline, which is set when he is 23). This is my head cannon for why Ben Solo, a child of privilege, would turn into the wicked Kylo Ren.