Title: Why I Hate Harry Potter (At the Moment)
Author: Susannah Wilde
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: Gift for gracerene who makes HP fandom an enjoyable experience. Happy Birthday, gracerene! I hope you have a wonderful day. I might possibly write a fic based off this in the future, but I hope you enjoy this silly thing inspired by gag gifts and The Shining. Sorry about the messy handwriting!
Summary: All work and no sex makes Draco a dull boy. That just cannot happen.
Add'l A/N: On my profile page is a link to the actual fic on Archive Of Our Own, which is Draco Malfoy's written answers to the self-therapy questions he has about the psychodrama of the moment. I think it's better to read that than trying to read the transcribed version below which omits certain words. Thanks.
There's also a brilliant remix of the fic called Why Ron Weasley Hates His Best Mate (At Least Sometimes) that I absolutely love!
Why I Hate Harry Potter (At the Moment)
Psychodrama of the moment: Potter is withholding sex until I am coerced agree to go to Sunday brunch at the Burrow to meet "the family".
How do I feel about it?: I'd rather eat dinner with the Dark Lord than see Weasley attempt to eat his weight in food.
How do I really feel?: Exploited! It's all Potter's fault if my cock shrivels up and falls off from disuse, obviously.
This problem likely stems from: NO SEX!
What it all means: All work and NO SEX makes Draco a dull boy. That just cannot happen.
Breakthrough: Desperately need Firewhisky, chocolate, and a wank. Also, everybody else is crazy!
Again, go to my profile page for the link to the original and remix for a better version.