Title: Happy Easter Anya.
Author: Elizard
Disclaimer: These characters are the property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy
Sharing: If you would like to share this feel free to do so however just let me know where it's headed.
How to do that? Email me at elizard100@yahoo.ca
Spoilers: Set during Season 6 right after Wrecked. The story takes place at Eastertime. For the purpose of this story Xander and Anya have a June wedding planned.
Ring, ring.
There's that noise again.
Ring, ring.
Why won't it stop?
Ring, ring.
Oh yeah. Xander reached over and picked up the phone and pulled it sleepily to his ear. "Hello," he mumbled.
"Xander," he heard his fiancée's annoyed voice admonish him. "Why aren't you here yet?"
Xander jumped up and looked at his watch. He knew he should be able to read the numbers on it. The big hand was on the twelve and the small hand was on the six. Six o'clock. That meant he was an hour late to pick up Anya.
"Xander?" Anya was getting really annoyed now. "Are you listening to me?"
"An," he managed, now fully awake. "Sorry, I nodded off for a few minutes when I got home from work." All their busy wedding planning was taking it's toll on Xander.
"We have to go to the florist's tonight and if there's time I'd like to go and have a look at your tux again," she reminded him. "So hurry up."
Xander hung up the phone. Who knew wedding's were so much work? Xander had only been to a couple in the past but there had never seemed that much to them. You just put on some nice clothes, made some fake flowers out of toilet paper and ate a chicken dinner with some relatives you only saw at family weddings and funerals and that was the end of it. Now he found that there was a bit more to it than that. A heck of a lot actually. Not only did you spend every last waking hour thinking about this one day; it even involved learning a new language. Boutonnière, cummerbund, tulle, embossing versus engraving. Where did it all end? Xander donned his jacket and headed out the door, his head swimming in a sea of organza and baby's breath flowers.
Fifteen minutes later he found Anya standing outside the Magic Box waiting for him impatiently.
"It took you long enough," she chided as he got out of the car to open the door for her.
"I said I'm sorry," Xander apologized. "I just closed my eyes for five minutes when I got home from work and the next thing I knew the phone was ringing."
"Well, I forgive you because you agreed to drop off the payment for the hall this morning. That saved me a lot of running around this today," Anya sighed.
Xander paused.
"You did remember to drop off the cheque Xander?" Anya demanded, her voice filled with alarm.
Xander nodded. "Of course I did Anya," he lied as he put his hand inside his jacket pocket and felt the envelope still there from that morning.
"You scared me there for a minute," Anya breathed a sigh of relief. "When I put down the deposit five months ago I signed an agreement that said we had to pay in full by two months prior to the wedding date. With this being the Easter weekend we had to make sure we got it in by today."
Xander cringed at the thought of disappointing Anya. He would have to find a way to get the cheque to the hall manager. There had to be a way to fix this without Anya finding out.
As Xander dropped off Anya in front of the flower shop he told a little white lie that he was going to get a cup of coffee to help him wake up and meet her back here in five minutes. Anya agreed to go in and start looking at flowers without him. The hall was only two blocks away, Xander thought to himself. He could drop the cheque off and noone would be the wiser.
As he pulled up in front of the Moose Lodge he slammed on the brakes to avoid hitting what appeared to be a ghost from the past emerging from the building.
"You idiot," the short bald man yelled at him. "Don't you know how to drive?"
Xander stepped from the car in shock. It couldn't be. "Principal Snyder?" he ventured.
The man looked at him with contempt. "Oh you must be a graduate of Sunnydale Highschool. That is if you graduated at all," he smirked. "You're mistaking me for my late brother Sam. I'm Harry Snyder. I'm the manager of the Moose Lodge."
"The resemblance is incredible," Xander marveled, getting right in Harry Snyder's face. "You look just like him," Xander noted. "Except you have a moustache."
"Get away from me," he growled. "You smell like cheese. What do you want anyway?"
"Oh, right," Xander came back to the present pulling the envelope out of his breast pocket. "I'm glad I caught you before you left. I just wanted to drop off my payment for the hall. My fiancée made the arrangements for it and I was supposed to drop off the cheque today. Here," he held out a piece of paper. "I have the contract. " He grinned, trying to snowball the man.
"Is this the Harris-Emerson wedding?" Harry Snyder demanded impatiently reviewing the document.
"Yes sir," Xander obediently replied.
"Well you're too darn late," he sneered glibly. "I told your fiancée I needed to have the final payment by today and I'm afraid you're too late. We're closed."
"But surely we can work something out," Xander pleaded. "Anya signed a contract when she reserved it."
"Yes," the smug little man nodded. "But that agreement required the amount to be paid in full by the end of the month and since the office isn't open over the Easter weekend you missed your chance. This contract is now null and void."
"But you don't understand," Xander tried to explain. "My fiancée will kill me if I don't fix this. She has her heart set on this hall."
"Well, so does my wife's cousin," he grinned malevolently. "And now that you've lost your reservation I can offer it to her when I see them this Sunday at my step-daughter's birthday party. Her family has always looked down on me because I wasn't some big shot highschool principal like my brother. Well now who do they come to looking for favours? Me, the manager of the only wedding hall in Sunnydale that isn't next door to a cemetery. "
"Fine then," Xander snorted. "I'll just take my business elsewhere."
"Go right ahead," the other man said in an amused tone. "Might I recommend the Renaissance Hall over on Elm Street," he smirked with a knowing smile. "I'm told it has one of the lowest casualty rates of all Sunnydale banquet halls, the Moose Lodge excepted of course. And I hear their roast beef dinner is out of this world."
"I didn't think it possible," Xander shook his head. "But you're even nastier than your brother."
"Why thank you. Oh and by the way," Snyder paused for effect as he started towards his car. "Because you didn't have your payment in by the required date you lose your two hundred dollar deposit."
As Xander rejoined Anya at the flower shop he found her deep in contemplation. She looked up as he approached. "What do you like better for the ceremony flowers?" she asked. "I'm thinking Agapanthus with Rananculus or maybe Begonias. Which do you like better?" She held up two different flowers that to Xander's distraught mind were as alike as two very similar white flowers could be.
"Um, the first one," he offered, trying to be supportive.
Anya turned to the flower shop attendant. "We're going with the Rananculus then."
"Very good miss," the bespectacled man agreed. "I'll note that on your card." He walked over and wrote something down on a piece of paper.
"You know Anya, I don't know if I like that hall after all. Maybe we should see if we could find a different one. What do you say?"
Anya stared at him in disbelief. "Are you kidding?" she exclaimed. "It took me ages to find that one. They're booked solid up until November because they've never had any problems with, uninvited guests, if you know what I mean." Anya raised her eyebrows at that last point. Taking his hand she added, "Besides, we'd never find another decent place at this late date. We've got so many things working against us with this wedding what with your family and my demon friends. I just want everything to be perfect for this one day." She leaned up and kissed him. "Our day."
Xander opened his eyes as she pulled away from him. "It will be perfect Anya," he promised her. "You'll have the most perfect wedding any woman has ever had. I'll make sure of it." Putting his arm around her he prepared to leave the store.
"Where are you going?" Anya asked. "We're not done here yet."
"But we made our choice for the flowers," Xander pointed out.
"For the ceremony flowers," Anya explained. "But we still have to choose the reception flowers, the table centrepieces, my bouquet, the bridesmaids bouquets, boutonnieres and your mother's corsage. I saw something different in one of the books over here," Anya pointed to a stack of about ten very large flower catalogues. "I think you'll like it."
Xander groaned and joined Anya at the table to peruse the thousands of pictures of floral displays.
Two hours later Xander dropped Anya off at their apartment with half dozen bridal magazines tucked under her arm.
"I just want to check in with Buffy," he lied. "She was investigating a lead on these strange occurrences that have been taking place and I want to find out if she learned anything new."
"Ok Xander," Anya nodded without looking up from her Modern Bride magazine. "Remember that tomorrow is Good Friday so we don't have to work. It will be a good opportunity for us to work on our vows so don't stay out too late tonight."
Xander leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek. Anya nodded as she got out of the car still engrossed in her reading material.
Tara walked purposefully up the front walkway of the house on Revello Drive. Buffy's anxious face greeted her as she opened the door.
"I got here as soon as I could," Tara explained. "Is she ok?"
"Come in Tara," Buffy invited the witch. "I'm not sure what to do."
Willow was sitting on the sofa with a strained look on her face.
Looking from the one woman to the other Tara felt her stomach clench up. "What's the bad?" she asked.
"Amy has done a spell on Willow to draw out her magical powers and try to force her to do spells," Buffy explained. "Anything magical that happens in Sunnydale is activating Willow's magical energy."
Tara sat down beside Willow and took her hand. "Are you ok Willow?" she asked tenderly.
"I feel this strong pull on me," Willow answered weakly. "I don't want to do it but I can't help myself."
Tara looked up at Buffy. "You have to find Amy and make her reverse this."
Willow hiccuped and a puff of smoke in front of her revealed a bowl of chocolate pudding on the table.
"What was that?" Tara asked, startled.
Buffy shook her head. "That's been happening all night. Every time Willow hiccups something appears. I don't think Amy did the spell right."
Buffy led Tara into the kitchen to show her twenty bowls of chocolate pudding on the counter.
Tara giggled despite the seriousness of the situation. "That's a whole lot of pudding," she remarked.
Buffy agreed. "Willow is unconsciously turning the magical energy into things that she finds comforting." A kitten scampered across the floor chasing a ball of yarn as a parade of ducklings made their way across the room. "It's all harmless stuff but obviously not the norm."
"I see what you mean," Tara smiled as the kitten rolled over on it's back begging to be petted. "We have to stop this before we drown in cuteness."
"I think Amy is being helped by that guy Rack," Buffy suggested. "I'm going to try and find him. Will you stay with Willow while I'm gone? I don't want to leave her alone with all these kittens and duckies and…pudding."
Tara nodded, picking up a spoon and a bowl and headed back for the living room.
Trying to distract herself into not doing spells Willow focused on objects around the room but her brain associated them with other things. Dawn's yellow rainslicker hung on the wall. A hiccup rose from the back of her throat and a couple of baby ducks appeared in the hallway. The word association game going on in her head created a stream of images and projections that steadily began to fill the room.
Duck made her think of Soup, like the Marx Brothers movie
Hiccup .. a bowl of soup appeared on the table, warm and inviting.
Bowl, Hiccup. Bowl…ing ball… she pictured it in a bowling alley.
Alley…Hiccup. Alley cat. Poof a cat was at her feet.
Willow tried to think of something else as the cat rubbed against her legs. She looked down at her pants. Cat… Pants…. Hiccup. Catsuit. A black leather catsuit appeared on the sofa. Ooooh, snazzy. Catsuit brought to mind images of that British TV show with Emma Peel. Willow thought of British TV shows and… Hiccup. A red dwarf appeared in the living room. Funny, Willow thought as the little man started doing a dance. "You're like a leprechaun," Willow told him. "Only red instead of green." Green made her think of grass. Grass made her think of…. "Oh no," Willow stopped herself. "I am so not going there. One addiction at a time is all I can handle."
As Xander drove away he was formulating a plan in his mind. He would confront Harry Snyder and force him to accept their reservation of the hall. Even if he had to threaten or bribe the man he would do whatever it took but Anya *would* have her reception. He stopped at a phone booth and grabbed the directory turning to the S's. He scanned his finger down the surprisingly short list of Smiths. Sunnydale must be the only town in America with only four Smiths listed. Below the Smiths he read the names Smollen, David, S'Namurra, Smurf, P. , nah it couldn't be. There it was Snyder, H. at 145 Seabreeze Terrace. As Xander pulled up in front of the house he noted Snyder's car in the driveway. This was the place. He steeled himself and made his way up to the door. He was surprised to find a very attractive redheaded woman in her late thirties open the door with a cordless phone in her hand.
"Can I help you?" she asked coyly.
"I'm sorry to disturb you ma'am. I'm looking for Harry Snyder," Xander explained. "I need to talk to him about the Moose Hall."
"Oh," she smiled. "Come right in. I'm his wife Sheila."
Xander couldn't help but wonder how this beautiful woman could be married to a man who looked like, well, Snyder.
"He's just outside in the back yard," she explained. " I'll tell him to come in. Excuse me, will you please. I'm on the phone with my sister."
As he sat and waited Xander noted some family photos on the mantle. There was one of Snyder and Sheila together, obviously a wedding photo and another one of a little girl about five years old. There was one large picture on the wall that had to be of the Snyder family as everyone had the same beady little eyes, from the two tall women dressed all in black to the hunched over old man with the cane. At the edge of the picture was Harry Snyder standing beside his exact likeness, except for the moustache. Xander had never imagined that Principal Snyder could have relatives, let alone a twin brother.
"What do you want?" a familiar voice droned as Harry Snyder entered the room. "I have nothing more to say to you."
Xander spun around, suddenly feeling like he was back in highschool. "Mr. Snyder," he greeted with his best fake smile. "So sorry to bother you at home. I won't take up much of your time."
"Don't worry," Snyder cut him off. "You won't."
"It's just that, well, I have to have that reservation," Xander explained. "My fiancée has her heart set on it and I can't let her down."
"Sorry," Snyder smirked. "My answer was final."
"I have money," Xander offered desperately. "How much will it take to change your mind?"
"I don't want your money," Snyder grinned. "By getting you out of your contract I can finally get the respect I deserve from my wife's family by doing this favour for her cousin. I didn't have any legal way to keep you from booking that date but you've helped me out yourself by your complete and total ineptitude to do this one simple thing." Snyder laughed out loud.
"Please Mr. Snyder," Xander got down on his knees, a look of desperation on his face. "I'm begging you."
"You make me laugh Harris," Snyder tittered. "You're a funny guy, aren't you?"
"The funniest," Xander conceded. "Do I get the hall now?"
"No," Snyder pursed his lips. "But I did enjoy the laugh. Goodnight Harris. Don't slam the door on your way out."
With an angry look on her face Sheila Snyder entered the room, "Harry! I can't believe you did this."
Visibly distressed Harry Snyder rushed to his wife's side. "What's the matter my love?" he asked meekly.
"I just got off the phone with my sister. You didn't order the clown for Bethany's party on Sunday," she cried, frustrated. "How could you? She's been looking forward to this for months and now you let her down. What kind of a step-father are you?"
"But my love," Snyder lied. "I have something even better planned that Bethany is going to love. Trust me my dear."
"If you break this little girl's heart Harry," Sheila glared at him. "You'll regret it for the rest of your life. You can count on it."
Xander jumped to his feet. Here was his opportunity. "Actually ma'am that's why I'm here."
"I'm afraid I don't understand," the woman looked at him, confused.
"Well, your husband has, very wisely I might add, hired me to be the entertainer for your daughter's birthday party." Xander turned and gave Snyder a knowing look. "We were just finalizing my fee."
"You're a clown?" Sheila asked, unconvinced.
"Well," Xander conceded, laying on the charm, "Clown by nature but oh so much more in actuality."
"This had better be spectacular Harry," Sheila warned her husband. "If you let my little girl down then I don't want you around her or me anymore."
"Never fear," he simpered. "Harry's here."
"Ugh," she sighed as she stormed out of the room.
Xander turned smugly to face Snyder. "I want the hall. You agree to accept my payment and I'll do this favour for you."
Snyder stood there deep in thought for a moment. "Harris," he answered sternly. "Everything is closed this weekend due to the holidays so I guess I'm stuck with you. But if my wife doesn't think your act is the best thing since sliced bread then the deal is off."
"I won't let you down," Xander reassured him.
"Just think of it this way," Snyder explained bluntly. "If I'm out in the street so's your wedding."
Xander gulped.
Buffy flung open the door to Spike's crypt and made her way down the ladder to the lower area. Spike was reclining in a chair reading.
"I need you Spike," Buffy explained with urgency in her voice.
"Well, fancy meeting you here," he mocked, putting down his book.
"I don't have time for the small talk," she rushed him. "I'm in a hurry."
"Oh, sorry" Spike conceded, rising up from his chair and starting to remove his shirt.
"No," Buffy stopped him. She sucked in her breath as she caught a glimpse of his taut muscular stomach. "I didn't mean that. I meant I need your help."
"For real?" Spike asked incredulously. "I never know what to expect from you Summers. You're more than a poor vampire's heart can take sometimes."
"Cut the funny talk," Buffy stopped him short. "I need to find Rack. I think Amy is with him and they've done something to Willow."
Spike turned serious. "Is Red ok?" he asked, concerned.
"Well if you think kittens and duckies and chocolate is ok then, well yeah, I guess she's ok for now," Buffy started sounding confused. "But it's weird and we have to find them to stop this."
"You're not making much sense," Spike commented snarkily. "But then that's not why I love you. Come on," he urged her to follow him up the ladder. "We'll find them."
Xander returned home to find Anya curled up in a chair with one of her bridal magazines pulled up to her chest. She looked so sweet there that he didn't like to disturb her. He got a beer out of the refrigerator and sat down to contemplate the dilemma he had gotten himself into. Something spectacular for a five-year old's birthday party. How hard could that be? He had promised Anya that they would spend the next day finalizing their guest list so his plans would have to wait for Saturday. Not that anything would be open until then anyway due to the holiday. It was all his fault that things had gotten to this point. From the start he had agreed to help her with the wedding details and he had let her down. But not anymore. Things would be different now.
Anya opened her eyes. "Xander," she murmured sleepily. "Is it time to get married yet?"
"Not yet," he answered. "But soon."
The next morning Xander brought Anya breakfast in bed. He spent the day giving her his undivided attention on wedding plans and she was thrilled with the turn of events. He listened to her talk about veil lengths and flower arrangements and seating plans like a dutiful fiancé. He gave his opinion on bridesmaids' dresses and they made plans to try to explain her demon friends to his family and vice versa.
As they settled down for the night after a very busy day of togetherness Xander already had his plan in mind. Anya would be occupied all day, as her friend Hallie, a former vengeance demon, would be joining them for dinner. Anya was obsessive about having her demon friends over and insisted that Xander vacate the premises while she cleaned and cooked. Anya was determined to outdo herself and Xander knew better than to argue with her. As he drifted off to sleep his mind tried to choose between clowns and ponies. He'd ask Willow, he decided. She knew what kids liked, still being somewhat childlike herself.
Meanwhile in another part of town Buffy and Spike continued their efforts from the previous night.
"How's Red tonight?" Spike made an attempt at conversation.
"She's worse," Buffy admitted. "Still the cutesy wutsey magical happenings but it's taking it's toll on her. Every time the magic passes through her it gets stronger. She's been good about resisting it but I don't know how much longer she can hold out from doing it herself. She feels the power of it and she's starting to act strangely, like she's trying to shut it all out."
Spike raised his hand for her to stop as he sensed the air around them.
"Can you feel them?" Buffy asked.
"I think so," Spike acknowledged. "There's a strong energy pull this way." He led her down an alleyway. Holding his hand in front of him he stepped forward into something hidden and he disappeared from sight. Almost immediately he stepped back out somewhat embarrassed.
"No that's not them," he explained quickly pulling Buffy after him and away from the cloaked area.
The head of a young man emerged from the cloaked area. "Hey man," he angrily called out. "You and your girlfriend will have to wait your turn. This room is occupied." He ducked back inside.
"I am not his girlfriend," Buffy retorted before turning to Spike. "What was that anyway?"
"Well," Spike tried to explain. "Let's just say that when witches are doing things they don't want to get caught doing they put up these invisible barriers to hide them from prying eyes." Spike gave Buffy a knowing look. "Whether it's evil or …" Spike smirked, "something else. The spell is the same even if the energy it gives off isn't. The energy comes from the people inside the cloaked room."
"So you walked in on them…." Buffy couldn't bring herself to say the words. "So you picked up on their sex vibes," Buffy realized. "That's disgusting."
"Well what do you expect me to be tuned into," he commented exasperated. "I'm out here with you, aren't I? I'm trying to feel out the bad evil vibes by trying to think bad evil thoughts but all I can think of is how I'd like to kiss you right about now." Spike pulled Buffy into an embrace, his lips brushing against her cheek.
She felt herself giving into him. It felt so good to have him hold her again. Regaining her focus she pushed him away. "We can't do this here," Buffy explained. "We have to find Rack and Amy and force them to reverse the spell. We have to do this for Willow. Will you please try?"
Spike released his hold on Buffy. "So you want me to try to be more evil is that it?" He chuckled to himself. "There's no pleasing some women."
The next morning Xander woke up with the certain knowledge that he had quite successfully avoided what would have potentially been a very difficult situation. But everything was turning out alright. Anya woke him up bright and early, as she was eager to begin turning their apartment into a dream home.
"Oh come on Anya," Xander teased. "Just five more minutes."
"No Xander," she replied sternly. "You are to go out and not come back until five o'clock. Hallie is getting here at 6 o'clock. Why don't you go and visit your friends. That should amuse you. Or perhaps they have a new shipment of pornographic magazines at the bookstore in town."
Xander mused at how lucky he was in finding Anya. She was smart, funny, beautiful and encouraged porn. What more could he ask for in a life partner? And so to town to plan a little kid's birthday party. Xander was surprised to find that not much was open due to the holidays. He was hoping to find the costume shop open but a big sign on the door read CLOSED. He felt a chill crawl up his spine. He had to have some kind of a funny outfit. By mid-afternoon his hopes were dashed. He couldn't find anything that would be suitable. Maybe Willow could help out with this. He decided to go to Buffy's house and throw himself on Willow's mercy.
Willow was in no state to help anyone else since she was barely able to help herself. Tara left Willow's side to go to the kitchen for a minute. "Focus Willow," she encouraged. "Be strong."
However, as soon as Tara left the room Willow desperately reached for a glass of water as another round of hiccups overtook her. She turned and focused on the bare wall in front of her. "Bare wall," she intoned to herself. "Bare wall. Bare." Hiccup. Bare became bear as Winnie the Pooh appeared in front of her, dipping his paw into a jar of honey. "Winnie," Willow squealed in delight. Hiccup. Then poof a small Shetland pony appeared as it whinnied, trotting around the room.
"Willow," Tara cried out as she returned to the room. "What happened?"
Willow looked around terrified. "I got scared and I couldn't stop the hiccups."
"They're gone now," Tara pointed out.
"Yeah," Willow sighed exhausted, leaning into the couch.
A knock sounded at the front door and Xander let himself in. "Anyone home?" he called out.
"Xander," Willow cautioned. "You shouldn't be here."
Xander looked around him perplexed. "What's with all the stuff?" he asked. "Where did it come from?"
Willow looked uncomfortable and Tara didn't want to go into too much detail. "It doesn't matter where it came from," she tried to downplay the situation. "We just want it out of here."
Xander's eyes lit up as he surveyed the cuteness of the animals. "Can I have it?" he asked.
"Sure," Tara nodded. "Just get everything out of here."
Xander cheered with joy hugging the two women. "You two just saved my neck. Aw, you're a couple of hunny bunnies."
Willow was startled by the suddenness of his embrace and began hiccuping uncontrollably. "Bunnies?" she cried out.
It was six-thirty and Anya and Hallie were seated at the diningroom table still waiting on Xander.
"My goodness he's late," Hallie observed. "Does he stand you up like this often?"
"This is completely unlike Xander," Anya explained. "Something must have happened to him. He was going to go and visit his friends. Maybe I'll give them a call and see if they've seen him."
Anya dialed the familiar number and Tara answered the phone. "Tara," Anya sounded relieved. "Is Xander there?"
Tara didn't answer.
"Tara?" Anya was concerned. "Is Xander ok?"
Tara finally responded. "Yes Anya, he's here and he's ok."
"Anya?" Xander's voice sounded through the telephone. "I'm sorry honey. We got caught up with some stuff. I can't really begin to explain it but I can't come home right now."
"Xander," Anya was getting angry. "What's going on?"
"I'll explain it all to you when I see you," Xander offered. "I just can't come home right now."
"When will you be home?" Anya asked in almost a whimper. Behind her Hallie smirked.
"As soon as I can," Xander tried not to alarm her. "Something's happened to Willow. She's ok but I have to be here right now. Will you just trust me on this one Anya?"
"Alright Xander," Anya conceded. "But don't stay out too long."
Anya hung up the phone and turned to face Halfrek. "So," she smiled a little too hard. "It looks like it's just us girls tonight. Would you like to watch Steel Magnolias?"
Buffy opened her eyes. It was late afternoon. She and Spike had been combing the streets and back alleyways until almost sunup with no results. As she emerged from her bedroom she could see strange lights emanating from her living room. "Oh no," she said aloud. "What's Willow conjured now?"
Entering the room she was stunned into speechlessness. Tara and Willow sat on the sofa. Dawn was cross-legged on the floor. Everywhere around them were bunnies. Fluffy, white bunnies. Even more remarkable was the very large bunny sitting in the armchair who was dressed like Xander. As she opened her mouth, finally able to speak a little red man emerged from the kitchen. "Who wants a soda?" he offered congenially.
"This is getting way out of control," Buffy acknowledged.
"Well duh?" Xander waved his hand over his bunny ears as though to illustrate his point.
"Any luck finding Amy and Rack?" Tara asked hopefully.
Buffy shook her head no.
"I though Spike could pinpoint the hotspots?" Tara inquired.
"He only seems to be able to find the horny spots," Buffy sighed. "We interrupted three couples last night. We have to try something else." Looking over at Xander Buffy snickered. "New look for you, isn't that Xander?"
"Oh yeah," he countered. "Yuck it up. You're not the one who's a rabbit who's engaged to someone who's bunnyphobic."
"Oh yeah, that's right," Buffy realized. "What did you tell her?"
"What could I tell her?" Xander shrugged, the effort making his ears flop down. "I don't want her to worry so I didn't tell her anything."
"Oh yeah," Buffy responded sarcastically. "Because not coming home and avoiding her is really going to make her not worry. As strange as this sounds I've got to figure out a way of getting Spike to focus on evil thoughts."
"That's never been a problem in the past," Xander pointed out.
"Yeah," Buffy acknowledged. "But ever since I've been back he seems different. Don't you guys think so? He seems, I don't know, less evil. Kinda puppyish."
"Don't say puppy around Willow," Dawn cautioned. "I put all the newspapers out for recycling last night."
"Whoops, my bad," Buffy agreed. "You guys should stay put here and enjoy the kittens and bunnies and everything while I go out and find those two. I'm kinda hungry. Is there any more of that pudding left?"
"I'll go look," Dawn offered, lifting several small bunnies out of her lap.
"You guys can stay put tonight in bunny central while I go look for evil," Buffy snickered. "I'm sorry guys but I find it really difficult to stay serious while looking at bunny Xander."
Xander tried to frown at her but on his comical big bunny face all he could manage was a mirthful grin.
Dawn returned from the kitchen. "Sorry Buffy," she shrugged her shoulders. "But it's all gone. You snooze all day, you lose. There is some leftover pizza though."
Buffy got herself a couple of slices and settled down on the floor nibbling hungrily. "So how exactly are Rack and Amy working their magic through Willow?" she wanted to know.
"Well," Tara tried to explain. "As near as I can figure it out, they are channeling their energy through her. Kind of like making her an energy source. It makes them stronger but Willow reacts by doing little bits of magic involuntarily. If we don't break their spell eventually she will crack and not be able to stop doing magic. At least now it only happens once in a while and since Willow is trying to focus on positive things we're ending up with all these manifestations."
"I know this isn't the best thing for Willow right now but I am so enjoying the fringe benefits of this," Dawn laughed, a kitten batting at her long hair. Dawn looked over at the sofa. "Oh and I think I'm laying claim to this." She grabbed the leather catsuit. "Yoink."
"Oh no," Buffy disagreed, relieving her sister of the garment. "You are so not old enough for that."
"No fair," Dawn sulked but her face immediately brightened as the kitten rubbed itself against her leg. She picked it up and began petting it.
"I'd better have a shower and get dressed," Buffy decided. "It'll be dark soon and Spike will be getting up. We have to try this again tonight."
She turned and went back upstairs, the catsuit still in her hands.
Emerging from the shower twenty minutes later Buffy contemplated the leather item laid out on her bed. It was a beautiful piece of craftsmanship. The leather was soft and supple and had a dark lustrous shine to it. "I gotta hand it to Willow," Buffy acknowledged. "She has good taste in leather." Buffy held it up against her small frame and looked at her reflection in the full-length mirror. "There's no way I can wear this out with Spike tonight," Buffy thought to herself. "If I want him to keep his mind off of me and focusing on finding Rack and Amy I can't distract him." Buffy put the item down again and contemplated a pair of loose fitting track pants and a sweatshirt. But her eye was drawn back to the catsuit. "Of course, Spike says he's turned on by anything I wear so why should I have to be unfashionable just because of him." She had finally managed to convince herself. "Besides," she decided aloud. "Mrs. Peel was a very serious person and everyone respected her."
With that decided, Buffy proceeded to dry her hair before trying on the outfit. It fit like a glove, a shiny, black, sexy glove.
The others were in the kitchen as Buffy made her way downstairs. "I'll see you later guys, don't wait up for me," she called out as she went out the front doorway. She caught a glimpse of her image as she opened the door. She smiled at her reflection.
"Oh Slayer," Spike moaned as she stepped outside. "You're killing me."
"You're here early," Buffy acknowledged. "The sun only set a half hour ago."
"I've been pacing the joint for hours waiting to see you," Spike licked his lips. "And might I say that if I had known you were going to look this good I would have risked catching fire."
Buffy shifted uncomfortably. Maybe the catsuit wasn't such a good idea after all.
Spike interrupted Buffy's thoughts with a serious turn, "Anyway, I think I've got a lead on where they're at."
Buffy and Spike leapt into action like a pair of leatherclad superheroes. As they rounded the corner of a back alleyway Spike paused. "This is where my source told me they were hidden."
"Can you sense anything?" Buffy hoped.
"No," he shook his head. "Still no good. Or rather still good and with you looking so delicious I don't really know a way around this dilemma."
"Maybe I can help with that," Buffy offered, catching Spike full across the face with a heavy punch. He flew back across the alley slamming into a chainlink fence. Lifting himself up he grinned. "Oh yeah, that's my girl."
Coming at her he snarled and she dealt him another blow. Shaking his head away to one side he came back in full demon face, his yellow eyes gleaming in the darkness. "I love it when you do me like that," he openly flirted. "Hey wait a minute," he paused. "I feel something."
"A concussion maybe?" Buffy suggested.
"No," he stilled her. "Be quiet for a moment and let me concentrate." He closed his eyes and took a few steps forward reaching his hand forward. Buffy watched as it disappeared into nothingness. Then he lurched forward and disappeared. Not wanting him to face the two dangerous witches alone Buffy leapt in behind him to disappear as well.
"Buffy, look out," Spike yelled as Buffy saw Amy swinging a chair at her head. Buffy ducked and knocked Amy's feet out from under her. Pinning the girl to the floor easily, Buffy chuckled out loud, "This was way too easy."
"That's for sure," a man's voice behind her announced. Buffy found herself rising up in the air and lifting up towards the ceiling. Suspended in air she could neither fight nor do anything to stop her current predicament. The ceiling in this room was unusually high and Buffy worried that if Rack decided to let her drop that even her Slayer strength couldn't keep her from being seriously injured.
"Spike," she called out to him. "Do something."
Spike backed up against the wall held in place by a forcefield created by the magical energy of the two witches. He struggled but to no avail. Spike and Buffy had succeeded in locating the pair but mere brute strength alone could not defeat them.
"So who ate all the pudding?" Dawn asked looking into the refrigerator, smacking her lips.
"I thought you did," Tara announced. "I only had one bowl and Willow didn't want to touch any of it."
"That Buffy is such a pig sometimes," Dawn shuddered. "She ate eight bowls of chocolate pudding and then has the nerve to ask for more."
"Something's not right here," Tara looked around.
"Tara," Willow called out from the livingroom. "Come here."
"What's wrong Willow?" Tara sounded concerned.
"The red dwarf guy," Willow managed. "He just went poof. He was sitting here watching Steel Magnolias with Xander and me and then he went poof. He's gone."
A look of understanding came over Tara's face. "I think I know what happened. Because this is borrowed magic you can only borrow it for a certain amount of time. You did the pudding early in the day yesterday and then the red dwarf a couple of hours later. So the spells only last around twenty-four hours. Xander isn't that great news?"
"Yeah," he shrugged, his ears flopping downwards again comically. "But I have to go to a kid's birthday party tomorrow and entertain children on Easter Sunday. What will they think of me looking like this?" He slumped forward discouraged.
"They'll just think you're the Easter Bunny you big ninny," Willow responded feeling a bit of herself again. "Hey, I wonder if Buffy and Spike finally found them."
"I don't know," Tara considered. "But I'm just glad Buffy took that catsuit away from you Dawn. Willow conjured it up just after the red dwarf. I wouldn't like to have seen you out with your friends only to have all your clothing go poof on you."
Dawn snickered at the thought of it.
Spike struggled to fight back. There was a chair right beside him but he couldn't raise his hand to grasp it. In desperation he looked up at Buffy still helplessly suspended on the ceiling. "I'm sorry Slayer," he called up to her. "I've failed you once again." When what to his surprised eyes occurred but like some sort of gift from heaven all of Buffy's clothes disappeared in a poof of smoke. What kind gods were smiling down on him giving him this vision to tell him not to lose hope? "Mmm," he observed. "No knickers." As Buffy struggled to cover her exposed flesh Rack turned his head upward to see what had caught Spike's attention. At the sight of the naked young woman floating above him he lost his focus and Spike broke free of his mental barrier and grabbed the chair bringing it down on the man's head, knocking him unconscious. Amy shrieked and ran in fear from the place, disappearing into the nothingness that was the real world.
Buffy felt herself slowly starting to descend from her perch. "Spike," she called out. "Catch me."
"Gladly," he offered holding out his arms to receive this delicate floating bird that was flying into his embrace. "Are you alright Slayer?" Spike asked, still startled. "How did you do that?"
"The magic must have worn off," Buffy correctly deduced. "That outfit was something Willow created magically. I am never wearing anything again that doesn't come from the mall."
Spike eyed her lasciviously. Buffy glared at him, arms folded across her chest. "Oh alright," he gave in and handed her his duster. As she put it on it hung to the floor on her. "I think I like the other black leather look better," Spike observed.
"So how do we break the spell on Willow," Buffy asked, looking around for the source of the spell.
"I think this might be what you're looking for," Rack suggested as he rose up from the floor. In his hand he held a small blue orb, the size of a marble.
"That's it?" Buffy demanded incredulously. "But it's so small."
"Hey," Rack reacted defensively. "It's not the size of the spell but the long range effects of the magicks wielded. Besides, Amy thought it was pretty. Hey where did she go?"
"Your girlfriend ran off," Spike taunted. "You're all on your lonesome now." He stepped towards him predatorily.
"You're going to need this to save the witch," Rack threw the small marble up into the air. Buffy and Spike both leapt for it as it fell down behind a small table in the corner of the room. Buffy sprawled across Spike's lap reaching back to grab the marble as it teetered near a hole in the floor. She managed to grasp it between two outstretched fingers and using her incredible Slayer strength she crushed it into dust. Turning, she heard Rack start to laugh as he headed for the door. "Alright, you've beaten me this time but this is far from over. Oh and don't try to follow me," he offered by way of advice. "Once I'm out this door. It will close up behind me and can't be opened until all of the strawberry's spells wear off." With those words he disappeared into the outer world.
Spike threw Buffy off his lap and rushed forward only to be met with a solid wall. Turning around to face Buffy he eyed her up and down. She looked so cute wearing only his well-worn duster. "So what are we going to do now?"
The bunnies were hopping everywhere. They were on the furniture, they were on the rugs, they were nestled on the shelves of the bookcase, they were on every other step of the staircase. They were settled on chairs in the diningroom and on the diningroom table itself. Like I said, the bunnies were everywhere. One sat happily munching on the telephone cord in the living room. As sparks flew that little bunny managed to escape with his little cottontail only mildly singed. A much-recovered redhead scooped him up and put him in a box with some of the other bunnies. "You're going to a party," she informed him.
Anya stirred slightly as her hand reached out to the warm form next to her. "Xander," she murmured contentedly. "You came home." Her hand met with something warm and squishy which wasn't a Xander kind of warm and squishy. Looking up she met the startled glance of Halfrek looking unimpressed.
"Are you quite finished?" Halfrek asked the embarrassed former vengeance demon.
Anya quickly removed her hand from Halfrek and sat up clearing her throat. "Sorry Hallie," she looked around confused. "Did Xander not come home last night?"
"He's done this before hasn't he?" Halfrek nodded her head in a smug fashion.
"Well, yes," Anya admitted. "When they're working together fighting a big evil. Sometimes their research takes them into the middle of the night. Xander sometimes just crashes on Buffy's couch."
"So what's the big evil this time?" Halfrek demanded. "You said there was a hell god before and a mutant demon and human hybrid. I can't even begin to imagine what they must be facing now."
"Well," Anya tried to explain. "There was this bank robbery a couple of weeks ago and then Buffy stopped a mugging the other day."
Halfrek offered a tight-lipped smile as her way of condescension. Anya strode over to the phone and dialed Buffy's phone number. The phone rang and rang but noone answered. The machine didn't even pick up. Something was seriously wrong.
"Halfrek," Anya echoed her very thoughts. "Something is seriously wrong."
"So what are you going to do about it?" Halfrek asked leadingly. "Oh come on," she gave in finally. "I'll drive you over there."
The two women dashed downstairs and made their way over to Buffy's in time to see Xander's car pull out of the driveway and drive off.
"He was there all the time," Anya exclaimed in shock. "And he didn't even answer the telephone. Didn't he realize I would be worried?"
Halfrek shook her head in distaste. "I guess he didn't give any thought to you at all Anyanka."
"Oh shut up Hallie and just follow that car," Anya ordered. The little blue car took off with all the speed the vengeance demon could muster.
Anya watched as Xander's car pulled up into the driveway of a nice looking house. A tall woman with red hair emerged from the house wearing a flowered dress. She leaned down to the car but Anya couldn't see Xander. There were things in the back of the car blocking his head. The woman pushed a button on a remote and the garage door opened up and Xander drove inside before the woman closed the door again.
"I have to see what's going on over there," Anya seethed.
"Let me just find a place to park," Halfrek looked around hoping to avoid parallel parking, the bane of this demon's existence.
After circling the block three times Anya got fed up. "Just park the damn car Hallie," she roared undoing her seatbelt and jumping out of the car. Halfrek managed to park the car at an unusual angle and quickly followed her friend towards the house. Reaching the back gate Anya unlatched the door and prepared herself for the worst. But nothing could have prepared her for what awaited her in this quiet neighbourhood. Opening the gate she was immediately set upon by a horde of small bunnies, lunging at her and wiggling their little cottontails at her furiously. Their noses twitched horrendously sensing fear in her.
"Hallie," she cried out. "Don't let them know you're afraid." She shuddered at the sight of them, taking her friend by the hand. "That's when they get really vicious." As the two women tiptoed past the everwatchful pink eyes that monitored their every movement Hallie panicked and knocked Anya to the ground as she made her escape. Brushing past the party guests a decorative banner caught her around the neck and she tore it free as she dashed to the safety of her car. Rolling up the windows she locked all the doors and awaited her friend's return, that is, if she even survived.
Anya lay on the ground in a frozen stare with one of the head bunnies nose to twitching nose with her. "I know what you really are," Anya tried to talk tough but inside her heart was beating a mile a minute. One of the little fluffers leapt onto her back and the battle had begun. Anya flailed about in terror as one by one the bunnies surrounded her forming a circle. She knew she was done for. It had all been for Xander. How ironic that the man she had planned to spend the rest of her life with would be the cause of her premature end.
"Mr. Bunny," a tiny voice called out timidly. "There's a lady over here fighting with our bunny rabbits."
"Anya," she heard Xander's voice call out to her. "Everyone get away from her. Get those damn bunnies off of her."
Anya felt herself being lifted up and cradled in strong loving arms that she knew oh so well. It was Xander and he had saved her. He did love her after all. Anya opened her eyes and gazed into Xander's warm pink eyes. PINK eyes. It was some kind of nightmare; Xander was a bunny too. Anya leapt up out of his arms gasping for breath. Tara rushed over and tried to calm her down.
"It's ok Anya," she soothed the distraught woman. "It's just a spell. It will wear off in a couple of hours."
"But Xander…" Anya struggled for the words to describe her horror.
"Is still Xander," Tara finished her sentence. "At least he will be when the spell wears off."
Xander had fled to the other side of the yard, away from her. Anya looked over at him as he was trying to comfort a frightened little boy by placing him on the back of a small pony. She saw him steal a glance towards her as he turned away, certain that the sight of his face was causing her such grief.
"Hey everyone it's time for the magic show," Anya heard Dawn's voice call out.
"That's my cue," Tara excused herself. "Have a seat."
Anya looked around and saw the redheaded woman standing holding hands with a man who looked remarkably like the now dead principal Snyder. A little blonde girl stood between them beaming up at the man. Tara took to the impromptu stage and Anya noticed that she was wearing a long purple robe with stars and moons decorating it. She pulled a small cylinder out of her sleeve and read aloud:
"Greetings birthday guests and a special greeting to our birthday girl Bethany who is five today. My name is Tara and I'm here today to tell you a story of Easter magic…." Tara continued with a tale of wonder and magic and she illustrated her tale with small acts of magic that caused her audience, both young and old to ooh and aah at the beauty and majesty of it all. Dawn acted as Tara's assistant, helping her perform magical feats and cracking jokes.
Willow came and sat beside Anya. "Pretty cool, isn't it?" the young woman smiled pointing to Xander who now held the little boy on his shoulders so he could get a better view. "You know, that guy is going to make one hell of a father one day."
Anya's heart melted at the thought of it. Yes, she agreed that Xander would be a wonderful father someday to some lucky children. She realized that despite their problems and despite how he looked today, that she wanted to bear those children.
After the magic act concluded with one little girl being led away crying, "But I want to see Barney do more tricks" Anya made her way over to Xander and watched him interact with the children. He was making silly faces for the kids who were fascinated by him.
"Are you a real rabbit?" the one little girl asked nervously giving his ear a tug.
"Well, today I am," Xander admitted. "But later on I'll turn back into a pumpkin."
"You won't really turn into a pumpkin Xander, will you?" Anya interrupted. "I'm having trouble enough dealing with the rabbit thing. I don't think I could handle you as a pumpkin."
"Anya," Xander turned, embarrassed. "I didn't want you to see me like this. Not with this face." He turned away painfully. "I know what it means to you."
"Come on kids," a woman urged from the house. "It's time to go home. The party is over." The little children said their good-byes and sadly departed.
Anya moved to stand beside her fiancé. "It's ok Xander," she pulled his face towards her. "It's you I love. I know you're not this wascally wabbit I see before me. You're Xander Harris and I love you." She leaned forward and kissed his bunny lips.
Xander put his arms around her and in a puff of white smoke Anya felt his soft fuzzy lips turn warm and tender. This time when she opened her eyes she was met with the right colour eyes and the right face smiling back at her.
"Let's say we go home and make like bunnies," Xander grinned suggestively.
"That's perverse," Anya snorted.
Xander leaned forward and whispered in her ear.
Anya nodded in realization of what he meant. "Oh, so that's what that means. Yes, Xander, let's do that."
"Hey guys, we're heading out," Xander announced. "Can we drop you at Buffy and Dawn's place?"
"Thanks Xander. You can take Dawn but Tara and I are going to walk home," Willow smiled awkwardly at Tara. "Say I wonder what happened to Buffy and Spike? We know they beat Amy and Rack because the spell is broken but where are they?"
"They're probably just holed up somewhere licking their wounds after the big fight," Dawn decided. "I'm sure Buffy is home already scarfing up the last of that pizza. She really works up an appetite some nights."
As Xander and the two women pulled out of the driveway Harry Snyder rushed out of the house. "Xander," he called out. "Wait."
Xander rolled down the window. "What do you want Mr. Snyder?"
"Please," he smiled broadly. "Call me Harry. I just wanted to talk to you about your wedding reception."
"Is everything ok?" Anya asked nervously.
"It's better than ok," Harry explained. "My wife owns a wedding consultancy service in town and she would like to offer the two of you the benefit of her experience on anything you need help with. Free of charge. She can hook you up with the best caterers, florists, musicians, whatever you like and she can get you her professional discount."
"Wow," Xander reeled from this news that was coming from a face he had learned to loathe over the years. "That's so kind of you Harry."
"We just really appreciate the bang-up job you did for Bethany's birthday," he smiled. "She's a special little girl."
"Speaking of bang-up jobs," Anya interrupted. "We really should get going."
The little car sped down the street past the blue hatchback that contained the petrified vengeance demon who sat their staring down at the streamer that was wound around her covered in little images of bunnies and chickies. Her silent screams wracked her body with terror.
Tara and Willow made their way down the bright sunny streets holding hands. The empty avenues were their playground as all the shops were closed.
"This is nice," Willow observed.
"Yeah, nice," Tara agreed.
"Thanks for, you know, everything the past couple of days," Willow acknowledged sheepishly. "It was hard to not give in but having you there made it better."
"I'm glad I could help," Tara smiled shyly. Leaning in, her lips met Willow's and the two engaged in a lingering kiss.
Continuing their leisurely stroll they took a shortcut down a deserted alley.
"Ooh, did you feel that," Tara motioned towards a section of empty space in the alley. "It feels warm and kinda fuzzy." She smiled suggestively.
"Yeah," Willow agreed. "It's kind of like the energy of that cloaked room Rack had but this is a different kind of energy. I wonder where it is?"
"Let's not go looking for anything magical just yet," Tara cautioned. "Besides, we've got our own magic happening here."
The two continued down the street hand in hand. As they rounded the corner Buffy's head poked out of the nothingness and looked after them.
"That was a close call," she giggled before ducking back inside. The sounds of laughter could be heard bouncing off the walls of the alleyway as the two unseen spectres carried on their wicked ways with each other.
Xander looked down at his fiancée stretched out across his chest; her satisfied face looking up into his.
She smiled up at him. "Happy Easter Xander," she beamed contentedly.
He smiled back, "Happy Easter Anya."
The End
Author: Elizard
Disclaimer: These characters are the property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy
Sharing: If you would like to share this feel free to do so however just let me know where it's headed.
How to do that? Email me at elizard100@yahoo.ca
Spoilers: Set during Season 6 right after Wrecked. The story takes place at Eastertime. For the purpose of this story Xander and Anya have a June wedding planned.
Ring, ring.
There's that noise again.
Ring, ring.
Why won't it stop?
Ring, ring.
Oh yeah. Xander reached over and picked up the phone and pulled it sleepily to his ear. "Hello," he mumbled.
"Xander," he heard his fiancée's annoyed voice admonish him. "Why aren't you here yet?"
Xander jumped up and looked at his watch. He knew he should be able to read the numbers on it. The big hand was on the twelve and the small hand was on the six. Six o'clock. That meant he was an hour late to pick up Anya.
"Xander?" Anya was getting really annoyed now. "Are you listening to me?"
"An," he managed, now fully awake. "Sorry, I nodded off for a few minutes when I got home from work." All their busy wedding planning was taking it's toll on Xander.
"We have to go to the florist's tonight and if there's time I'd like to go and have a look at your tux again," she reminded him. "So hurry up."
Xander hung up the phone. Who knew wedding's were so much work? Xander had only been to a couple in the past but there had never seemed that much to them. You just put on some nice clothes, made some fake flowers out of toilet paper and ate a chicken dinner with some relatives you only saw at family weddings and funerals and that was the end of it. Now he found that there was a bit more to it than that. A heck of a lot actually. Not only did you spend every last waking hour thinking about this one day; it even involved learning a new language. Boutonnière, cummerbund, tulle, embossing versus engraving. Where did it all end? Xander donned his jacket and headed out the door, his head swimming in a sea of organza and baby's breath flowers.
Fifteen minutes later he found Anya standing outside the Magic Box waiting for him impatiently.
"It took you long enough," she chided as he got out of the car to open the door for her.
"I said I'm sorry," Xander apologized. "I just closed my eyes for five minutes when I got home from work and the next thing I knew the phone was ringing."
"Well, I forgive you because you agreed to drop off the payment for the hall this morning. That saved me a lot of running around this today," Anya sighed.
Xander paused.
"You did remember to drop off the cheque Xander?" Anya demanded, her voice filled with alarm.
Xander nodded. "Of course I did Anya," he lied as he put his hand inside his jacket pocket and felt the envelope still there from that morning.
"You scared me there for a minute," Anya breathed a sigh of relief. "When I put down the deposit five months ago I signed an agreement that said we had to pay in full by two months prior to the wedding date. With this being the Easter weekend we had to make sure we got it in by today."
Xander cringed at the thought of disappointing Anya. He would have to find a way to get the cheque to the hall manager. There had to be a way to fix this without Anya finding out.
As Xander dropped off Anya in front of the flower shop he told a little white lie that he was going to get a cup of coffee to help him wake up and meet her back here in five minutes. Anya agreed to go in and start looking at flowers without him. The hall was only two blocks away, Xander thought to himself. He could drop the cheque off and noone would be the wiser.
As he pulled up in front of the Moose Lodge he slammed on the brakes to avoid hitting what appeared to be a ghost from the past emerging from the building.
"You idiot," the short bald man yelled at him. "Don't you know how to drive?"
Xander stepped from the car in shock. It couldn't be. "Principal Snyder?" he ventured.
The man looked at him with contempt. "Oh you must be a graduate of Sunnydale Highschool. That is if you graduated at all," he smirked. "You're mistaking me for my late brother Sam. I'm Harry Snyder. I'm the manager of the Moose Lodge."
"The resemblance is incredible," Xander marveled, getting right in Harry Snyder's face. "You look just like him," Xander noted. "Except you have a moustache."
"Get away from me," he growled. "You smell like cheese. What do you want anyway?"
"Oh, right," Xander came back to the present pulling the envelope out of his breast pocket. "I'm glad I caught you before you left. I just wanted to drop off my payment for the hall. My fiancée made the arrangements for it and I was supposed to drop off the cheque today. Here," he held out a piece of paper. "I have the contract. " He grinned, trying to snowball the man.
"Is this the Harris-Emerson wedding?" Harry Snyder demanded impatiently reviewing the document.
"Yes sir," Xander obediently replied.
"Well you're too darn late," he sneered glibly. "I told your fiancée I needed to have the final payment by today and I'm afraid you're too late. We're closed."
"But surely we can work something out," Xander pleaded. "Anya signed a contract when she reserved it."
"Yes," the smug little man nodded. "But that agreement required the amount to be paid in full by the end of the month and since the office isn't open over the Easter weekend you missed your chance. This contract is now null and void."
"But you don't understand," Xander tried to explain. "My fiancée will kill me if I don't fix this. She has her heart set on this hall."
"Well, so does my wife's cousin," he grinned malevolently. "And now that you've lost your reservation I can offer it to her when I see them this Sunday at my step-daughter's birthday party. Her family has always looked down on me because I wasn't some big shot highschool principal like my brother. Well now who do they come to looking for favours? Me, the manager of the only wedding hall in Sunnydale that isn't next door to a cemetery. "
"Fine then," Xander snorted. "I'll just take my business elsewhere."
"Go right ahead," the other man said in an amused tone. "Might I recommend the Renaissance Hall over on Elm Street," he smirked with a knowing smile. "I'm told it has one of the lowest casualty rates of all Sunnydale banquet halls, the Moose Lodge excepted of course. And I hear their roast beef dinner is out of this world."
"I didn't think it possible," Xander shook his head. "But you're even nastier than your brother."
"Why thank you. Oh and by the way," Snyder paused for effect as he started towards his car. "Because you didn't have your payment in by the required date you lose your two hundred dollar deposit."
As Xander rejoined Anya at the flower shop he found her deep in contemplation. She looked up as he approached. "What do you like better for the ceremony flowers?" she asked. "I'm thinking Agapanthus with Rananculus or maybe Begonias. Which do you like better?" She held up two different flowers that to Xander's distraught mind were as alike as two very similar white flowers could be.
"Um, the first one," he offered, trying to be supportive.
Anya turned to the flower shop attendant. "We're going with the Rananculus then."
"Very good miss," the bespectacled man agreed. "I'll note that on your card." He walked over and wrote something down on a piece of paper.
"You know Anya, I don't know if I like that hall after all. Maybe we should see if we could find a different one. What do you say?"
Anya stared at him in disbelief. "Are you kidding?" she exclaimed. "It took me ages to find that one. They're booked solid up until November because they've never had any problems with, uninvited guests, if you know what I mean." Anya raised her eyebrows at that last point. Taking his hand she added, "Besides, we'd never find another decent place at this late date. We've got so many things working against us with this wedding what with your family and my demon friends. I just want everything to be perfect for this one day." She leaned up and kissed him. "Our day."
Xander opened his eyes as she pulled away from him. "It will be perfect Anya," he promised her. "You'll have the most perfect wedding any woman has ever had. I'll make sure of it." Putting his arm around her he prepared to leave the store.
"Where are you going?" Anya asked. "We're not done here yet."
"But we made our choice for the flowers," Xander pointed out.
"For the ceremony flowers," Anya explained. "But we still have to choose the reception flowers, the table centrepieces, my bouquet, the bridesmaids bouquets, boutonnieres and your mother's corsage. I saw something different in one of the books over here," Anya pointed to a stack of about ten very large flower catalogues. "I think you'll like it."
Xander groaned and joined Anya at the table to peruse the thousands of pictures of floral displays.
Two hours later Xander dropped Anya off at their apartment with half dozen bridal magazines tucked under her arm.
"I just want to check in with Buffy," he lied. "She was investigating a lead on these strange occurrences that have been taking place and I want to find out if she learned anything new."
"Ok Xander," Anya nodded without looking up from her Modern Bride magazine. "Remember that tomorrow is Good Friday so we don't have to work. It will be a good opportunity for us to work on our vows so don't stay out too late tonight."
Xander leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek. Anya nodded as she got out of the car still engrossed in her reading material.
Tara walked purposefully up the front walkway of the house on Revello Drive. Buffy's anxious face greeted her as she opened the door.
"I got here as soon as I could," Tara explained. "Is she ok?"
"Come in Tara," Buffy invited the witch. "I'm not sure what to do."
Willow was sitting on the sofa with a strained look on her face.
Looking from the one woman to the other Tara felt her stomach clench up. "What's the bad?" she asked.
"Amy has done a spell on Willow to draw out her magical powers and try to force her to do spells," Buffy explained. "Anything magical that happens in Sunnydale is activating Willow's magical energy."
Tara sat down beside Willow and took her hand. "Are you ok Willow?" she asked tenderly.
"I feel this strong pull on me," Willow answered weakly. "I don't want to do it but I can't help myself."
Tara looked up at Buffy. "You have to find Amy and make her reverse this."
Willow hiccuped and a puff of smoke in front of her revealed a bowl of chocolate pudding on the table.
"What was that?" Tara asked, startled.
Buffy shook her head. "That's been happening all night. Every time Willow hiccups something appears. I don't think Amy did the spell right."
Buffy led Tara into the kitchen to show her twenty bowls of chocolate pudding on the counter.
Tara giggled despite the seriousness of the situation. "That's a whole lot of pudding," she remarked.
Buffy agreed. "Willow is unconsciously turning the magical energy into things that she finds comforting." A kitten scampered across the floor chasing a ball of yarn as a parade of ducklings made their way across the room. "It's all harmless stuff but obviously not the norm."
"I see what you mean," Tara smiled as the kitten rolled over on it's back begging to be petted. "We have to stop this before we drown in cuteness."
"I think Amy is being helped by that guy Rack," Buffy suggested. "I'm going to try and find him. Will you stay with Willow while I'm gone? I don't want to leave her alone with all these kittens and duckies and…pudding."
Tara nodded, picking up a spoon and a bowl and headed back for the living room.
Trying to distract herself into not doing spells Willow focused on objects around the room but her brain associated them with other things. Dawn's yellow rainslicker hung on the wall. A hiccup rose from the back of her throat and a couple of baby ducks appeared in the hallway. The word association game going on in her head created a stream of images and projections that steadily began to fill the room.
Duck made her think of Soup, like the Marx Brothers movie
Hiccup .. a bowl of soup appeared on the table, warm and inviting.
Bowl, Hiccup. Bowl…ing ball… she pictured it in a bowling alley.
Alley…Hiccup. Alley cat. Poof a cat was at her feet.
Willow tried to think of something else as the cat rubbed against her legs. She looked down at her pants. Cat… Pants…. Hiccup. Catsuit. A black leather catsuit appeared on the sofa. Ooooh, snazzy. Catsuit brought to mind images of that British TV show with Emma Peel. Willow thought of British TV shows and… Hiccup. A red dwarf appeared in the living room. Funny, Willow thought as the little man started doing a dance. "You're like a leprechaun," Willow told him. "Only red instead of green." Green made her think of grass. Grass made her think of…. "Oh no," Willow stopped herself. "I am so not going there. One addiction at a time is all I can handle."
As Xander drove away he was formulating a plan in his mind. He would confront Harry Snyder and force him to accept their reservation of the hall. Even if he had to threaten or bribe the man he would do whatever it took but Anya *would* have her reception. He stopped at a phone booth and grabbed the directory turning to the S's. He scanned his finger down the surprisingly short list of Smiths. Sunnydale must be the only town in America with only four Smiths listed. Below the Smiths he read the names Smollen, David, S'Namurra, Smurf, P. , nah it couldn't be. There it was Snyder, H. at 145 Seabreeze Terrace. As Xander pulled up in front of the house he noted Snyder's car in the driveway. This was the place. He steeled himself and made his way up to the door. He was surprised to find a very attractive redheaded woman in her late thirties open the door with a cordless phone in her hand.
"Can I help you?" she asked coyly.
"I'm sorry to disturb you ma'am. I'm looking for Harry Snyder," Xander explained. "I need to talk to him about the Moose Hall."
"Oh," she smiled. "Come right in. I'm his wife Sheila."
Xander couldn't help but wonder how this beautiful woman could be married to a man who looked like, well, Snyder.
"He's just outside in the back yard," she explained. " I'll tell him to come in. Excuse me, will you please. I'm on the phone with my sister."
As he sat and waited Xander noted some family photos on the mantle. There was one of Snyder and Sheila together, obviously a wedding photo and another one of a little girl about five years old. There was one large picture on the wall that had to be of the Snyder family as everyone had the same beady little eyes, from the two tall women dressed all in black to the hunched over old man with the cane. At the edge of the picture was Harry Snyder standing beside his exact likeness, except for the moustache. Xander had never imagined that Principal Snyder could have relatives, let alone a twin brother.
"What do you want?" a familiar voice droned as Harry Snyder entered the room. "I have nothing more to say to you."
Xander spun around, suddenly feeling like he was back in highschool. "Mr. Snyder," he greeted with his best fake smile. "So sorry to bother you at home. I won't take up much of your time."
"Don't worry," Snyder cut him off. "You won't."
"It's just that, well, I have to have that reservation," Xander explained. "My fiancée has her heart set on it and I can't let her down."
"Sorry," Snyder smirked. "My answer was final."
"I have money," Xander offered desperately. "How much will it take to change your mind?"
"I don't want your money," Snyder grinned. "By getting you out of your contract I can finally get the respect I deserve from my wife's family by doing this favour for her cousin. I didn't have any legal way to keep you from booking that date but you've helped me out yourself by your complete and total ineptitude to do this one simple thing." Snyder laughed out loud.
"Please Mr. Snyder," Xander got down on his knees, a look of desperation on his face. "I'm begging you."
"You make me laugh Harris," Snyder tittered. "You're a funny guy, aren't you?"
"The funniest," Xander conceded. "Do I get the hall now?"
"No," Snyder pursed his lips. "But I did enjoy the laugh. Goodnight Harris. Don't slam the door on your way out."
With an angry look on her face Sheila Snyder entered the room, "Harry! I can't believe you did this."
Visibly distressed Harry Snyder rushed to his wife's side. "What's the matter my love?" he asked meekly.
"I just got off the phone with my sister. You didn't order the clown for Bethany's party on Sunday," she cried, frustrated. "How could you? She's been looking forward to this for months and now you let her down. What kind of a step-father are you?"
"But my love," Snyder lied. "I have something even better planned that Bethany is going to love. Trust me my dear."
"If you break this little girl's heart Harry," Sheila glared at him. "You'll regret it for the rest of your life. You can count on it."
Xander jumped to his feet. Here was his opportunity. "Actually ma'am that's why I'm here."
"I'm afraid I don't understand," the woman looked at him, confused.
"Well, your husband has, very wisely I might add, hired me to be the entertainer for your daughter's birthday party." Xander turned and gave Snyder a knowing look. "We were just finalizing my fee."
"You're a clown?" Sheila asked, unconvinced.
"Well," Xander conceded, laying on the charm, "Clown by nature but oh so much more in actuality."
"This had better be spectacular Harry," Sheila warned her husband. "If you let my little girl down then I don't want you around her or me anymore."
"Never fear," he simpered. "Harry's here."
"Ugh," she sighed as she stormed out of the room.
Xander turned smugly to face Snyder. "I want the hall. You agree to accept my payment and I'll do this favour for you."
Snyder stood there deep in thought for a moment. "Harris," he answered sternly. "Everything is closed this weekend due to the holidays so I guess I'm stuck with you. But if my wife doesn't think your act is the best thing since sliced bread then the deal is off."
"I won't let you down," Xander reassured him.
"Just think of it this way," Snyder explained bluntly. "If I'm out in the street so's your wedding."
Xander gulped.
Buffy flung open the door to Spike's crypt and made her way down the ladder to the lower area. Spike was reclining in a chair reading.
"I need you Spike," Buffy explained with urgency in her voice.
"Well, fancy meeting you here," he mocked, putting down his book.
"I don't have time for the small talk," she rushed him. "I'm in a hurry."
"Oh, sorry" Spike conceded, rising up from his chair and starting to remove his shirt.
"No," Buffy stopped him. She sucked in her breath as she caught a glimpse of his taut muscular stomach. "I didn't mean that. I meant I need your help."
"For real?" Spike asked incredulously. "I never know what to expect from you Summers. You're more than a poor vampire's heart can take sometimes."
"Cut the funny talk," Buffy stopped him short. "I need to find Rack. I think Amy is with him and they've done something to Willow."
Spike turned serious. "Is Red ok?" he asked, concerned.
"Well if you think kittens and duckies and chocolate is ok then, well yeah, I guess she's ok for now," Buffy started sounding confused. "But it's weird and we have to find them to stop this."
"You're not making much sense," Spike commented snarkily. "But then that's not why I love you. Come on," he urged her to follow him up the ladder. "We'll find them."
Xander returned home to find Anya curled up in a chair with one of her bridal magazines pulled up to her chest. She looked so sweet there that he didn't like to disturb her. He got a beer out of the refrigerator and sat down to contemplate the dilemma he had gotten himself into. Something spectacular for a five-year old's birthday party. How hard could that be? He had promised Anya that they would spend the next day finalizing their guest list so his plans would have to wait for Saturday. Not that anything would be open until then anyway due to the holiday. It was all his fault that things had gotten to this point. From the start he had agreed to help her with the wedding details and he had let her down. But not anymore. Things would be different now.
Anya opened her eyes. "Xander," she murmured sleepily. "Is it time to get married yet?"
"Not yet," he answered. "But soon."
The next morning Xander brought Anya breakfast in bed. He spent the day giving her his undivided attention on wedding plans and she was thrilled with the turn of events. He listened to her talk about veil lengths and flower arrangements and seating plans like a dutiful fiancé. He gave his opinion on bridesmaids' dresses and they made plans to try to explain her demon friends to his family and vice versa.
As they settled down for the night after a very busy day of togetherness Xander already had his plan in mind. Anya would be occupied all day, as her friend Hallie, a former vengeance demon, would be joining them for dinner. Anya was obsessive about having her demon friends over and insisted that Xander vacate the premises while she cleaned and cooked. Anya was determined to outdo herself and Xander knew better than to argue with her. As he drifted off to sleep his mind tried to choose between clowns and ponies. He'd ask Willow, he decided. She knew what kids liked, still being somewhat childlike herself.
Meanwhile in another part of town Buffy and Spike continued their efforts from the previous night.
"How's Red tonight?" Spike made an attempt at conversation.
"She's worse," Buffy admitted. "Still the cutesy wutsey magical happenings but it's taking it's toll on her. Every time the magic passes through her it gets stronger. She's been good about resisting it but I don't know how much longer she can hold out from doing it herself. She feels the power of it and she's starting to act strangely, like she's trying to shut it all out."
Spike raised his hand for her to stop as he sensed the air around them.
"Can you feel them?" Buffy asked.
"I think so," Spike acknowledged. "There's a strong energy pull this way." He led her down an alleyway. Holding his hand in front of him he stepped forward into something hidden and he disappeared from sight. Almost immediately he stepped back out somewhat embarrassed.
"No that's not them," he explained quickly pulling Buffy after him and away from the cloaked area.
The head of a young man emerged from the cloaked area. "Hey man," he angrily called out. "You and your girlfriend will have to wait your turn. This room is occupied." He ducked back inside.
"I am not his girlfriend," Buffy retorted before turning to Spike. "What was that anyway?"
"Well," Spike tried to explain. "Let's just say that when witches are doing things they don't want to get caught doing they put up these invisible barriers to hide them from prying eyes." Spike gave Buffy a knowing look. "Whether it's evil or …" Spike smirked, "something else. The spell is the same even if the energy it gives off isn't. The energy comes from the people inside the cloaked room."
"So you walked in on them…." Buffy couldn't bring herself to say the words. "So you picked up on their sex vibes," Buffy realized. "That's disgusting."
"Well what do you expect me to be tuned into," he commented exasperated. "I'm out here with you, aren't I? I'm trying to feel out the bad evil vibes by trying to think bad evil thoughts but all I can think of is how I'd like to kiss you right about now." Spike pulled Buffy into an embrace, his lips brushing against her cheek.
She felt herself giving into him. It felt so good to have him hold her again. Regaining her focus she pushed him away. "We can't do this here," Buffy explained. "We have to find Rack and Amy and force them to reverse the spell. We have to do this for Willow. Will you please try?"
Spike released his hold on Buffy. "So you want me to try to be more evil is that it?" He chuckled to himself. "There's no pleasing some women."
The next morning Xander woke up with the certain knowledge that he had quite successfully avoided what would have potentially been a very difficult situation. But everything was turning out alright. Anya woke him up bright and early, as she was eager to begin turning their apartment into a dream home.
"Oh come on Anya," Xander teased. "Just five more minutes."
"No Xander," she replied sternly. "You are to go out and not come back until five o'clock. Hallie is getting here at 6 o'clock. Why don't you go and visit your friends. That should amuse you. Or perhaps they have a new shipment of pornographic magazines at the bookstore in town."
Xander mused at how lucky he was in finding Anya. She was smart, funny, beautiful and encouraged porn. What more could he ask for in a life partner? And so to town to plan a little kid's birthday party. Xander was surprised to find that not much was open due to the holidays. He was hoping to find the costume shop open but a big sign on the door read CLOSED. He felt a chill crawl up his spine. He had to have some kind of a funny outfit. By mid-afternoon his hopes were dashed. He couldn't find anything that would be suitable. Maybe Willow could help out with this. He decided to go to Buffy's house and throw himself on Willow's mercy.
Willow was in no state to help anyone else since she was barely able to help herself. Tara left Willow's side to go to the kitchen for a minute. "Focus Willow," she encouraged. "Be strong."
However, as soon as Tara left the room Willow desperately reached for a glass of water as another round of hiccups overtook her. She turned and focused on the bare wall in front of her. "Bare wall," she intoned to herself. "Bare wall. Bare." Hiccup. Bare became bear as Winnie the Pooh appeared in front of her, dipping his paw into a jar of honey. "Winnie," Willow squealed in delight. Hiccup. Then poof a small Shetland pony appeared as it whinnied, trotting around the room.
"Willow," Tara cried out as she returned to the room. "What happened?"
Willow looked around terrified. "I got scared and I couldn't stop the hiccups."
"They're gone now," Tara pointed out.
"Yeah," Willow sighed exhausted, leaning into the couch.
A knock sounded at the front door and Xander let himself in. "Anyone home?" he called out.
"Xander," Willow cautioned. "You shouldn't be here."
Xander looked around him perplexed. "What's with all the stuff?" he asked. "Where did it come from?"
Willow looked uncomfortable and Tara didn't want to go into too much detail. "It doesn't matter where it came from," she tried to downplay the situation. "We just want it out of here."
Xander's eyes lit up as he surveyed the cuteness of the animals. "Can I have it?" he asked.
"Sure," Tara nodded. "Just get everything out of here."
Xander cheered with joy hugging the two women. "You two just saved my neck. Aw, you're a couple of hunny bunnies."
Willow was startled by the suddenness of his embrace and began hiccuping uncontrollably. "Bunnies?" she cried out.
It was six-thirty and Anya and Hallie were seated at the diningroom table still waiting on Xander.
"My goodness he's late," Hallie observed. "Does he stand you up like this often?"
"This is completely unlike Xander," Anya explained. "Something must have happened to him. He was going to go and visit his friends. Maybe I'll give them a call and see if they've seen him."
Anya dialed the familiar number and Tara answered the phone. "Tara," Anya sounded relieved. "Is Xander there?"
Tara didn't answer.
"Tara?" Anya was concerned. "Is Xander ok?"
Tara finally responded. "Yes Anya, he's here and he's ok."
"Anya?" Xander's voice sounded through the telephone. "I'm sorry honey. We got caught up with some stuff. I can't really begin to explain it but I can't come home right now."
"Xander," Anya was getting angry. "What's going on?"
"I'll explain it all to you when I see you," Xander offered. "I just can't come home right now."
"When will you be home?" Anya asked in almost a whimper. Behind her Hallie smirked.
"As soon as I can," Xander tried not to alarm her. "Something's happened to Willow. She's ok but I have to be here right now. Will you just trust me on this one Anya?"
"Alright Xander," Anya conceded. "But don't stay out too long."
Anya hung up the phone and turned to face Halfrek. "So," she smiled a little too hard. "It looks like it's just us girls tonight. Would you like to watch Steel Magnolias?"
Buffy opened her eyes. It was late afternoon. She and Spike had been combing the streets and back alleyways until almost sunup with no results. As she emerged from her bedroom she could see strange lights emanating from her living room. "Oh no," she said aloud. "What's Willow conjured now?"
Entering the room she was stunned into speechlessness. Tara and Willow sat on the sofa. Dawn was cross-legged on the floor. Everywhere around them were bunnies. Fluffy, white bunnies. Even more remarkable was the very large bunny sitting in the armchair who was dressed like Xander. As she opened her mouth, finally able to speak a little red man emerged from the kitchen. "Who wants a soda?" he offered congenially.
"This is getting way out of control," Buffy acknowledged.
"Well duh?" Xander waved his hand over his bunny ears as though to illustrate his point.
"Any luck finding Amy and Rack?" Tara asked hopefully.
Buffy shook her head no.
"I though Spike could pinpoint the hotspots?" Tara inquired.
"He only seems to be able to find the horny spots," Buffy sighed. "We interrupted three couples last night. We have to try something else." Looking over at Xander Buffy snickered. "New look for you, isn't that Xander?"
"Oh yeah," he countered. "Yuck it up. You're not the one who's a rabbit who's engaged to someone who's bunnyphobic."
"Oh yeah, that's right," Buffy realized. "What did you tell her?"
"What could I tell her?" Xander shrugged, the effort making his ears flop down. "I don't want her to worry so I didn't tell her anything."
"Oh yeah," Buffy responded sarcastically. "Because not coming home and avoiding her is really going to make her not worry. As strange as this sounds I've got to figure out a way of getting Spike to focus on evil thoughts."
"That's never been a problem in the past," Xander pointed out.
"Yeah," Buffy acknowledged. "But ever since I've been back he seems different. Don't you guys think so? He seems, I don't know, less evil. Kinda puppyish."
"Don't say puppy around Willow," Dawn cautioned. "I put all the newspapers out for recycling last night."
"Whoops, my bad," Buffy agreed. "You guys should stay put here and enjoy the kittens and bunnies and everything while I go out and find those two. I'm kinda hungry. Is there any more of that pudding left?"
"I'll go look," Dawn offered, lifting several small bunnies out of her lap.
"You guys can stay put tonight in bunny central while I go look for evil," Buffy snickered. "I'm sorry guys but I find it really difficult to stay serious while looking at bunny Xander."
Xander tried to frown at her but on his comical big bunny face all he could manage was a mirthful grin.
Dawn returned from the kitchen. "Sorry Buffy," she shrugged her shoulders. "But it's all gone. You snooze all day, you lose. There is some leftover pizza though."
Buffy got herself a couple of slices and settled down on the floor nibbling hungrily. "So how exactly are Rack and Amy working their magic through Willow?" she wanted to know.
"Well," Tara tried to explain. "As near as I can figure it out, they are channeling their energy through her. Kind of like making her an energy source. It makes them stronger but Willow reacts by doing little bits of magic involuntarily. If we don't break their spell eventually she will crack and not be able to stop doing magic. At least now it only happens once in a while and since Willow is trying to focus on positive things we're ending up with all these manifestations."
"I know this isn't the best thing for Willow right now but I am so enjoying the fringe benefits of this," Dawn laughed, a kitten batting at her long hair. Dawn looked over at the sofa. "Oh and I think I'm laying claim to this." She grabbed the leather catsuit. "Yoink."
"Oh no," Buffy disagreed, relieving her sister of the garment. "You are so not old enough for that."
"No fair," Dawn sulked but her face immediately brightened as the kitten rubbed itself against her leg. She picked it up and began petting it.
"I'd better have a shower and get dressed," Buffy decided. "It'll be dark soon and Spike will be getting up. We have to try this again tonight."
She turned and went back upstairs, the catsuit still in her hands.
Emerging from the shower twenty minutes later Buffy contemplated the leather item laid out on her bed. It was a beautiful piece of craftsmanship. The leather was soft and supple and had a dark lustrous shine to it. "I gotta hand it to Willow," Buffy acknowledged. "She has good taste in leather." Buffy held it up against her small frame and looked at her reflection in the full-length mirror. "There's no way I can wear this out with Spike tonight," Buffy thought to herself. "If I want him to keep his mind off of me and focusing on finding Rack and Amy I can't distract him." Buffy put the item down again and contemplated a pair of loose fitting track pants and a sweatshirt. But her eye was drawn back to the catsuit. "Of course, Spike says he's turned on by anything I wear so why should I have to be unfashionable just because of him." She had finally managed to convince herself. "Besides," she decided aloud. "Mrs. Peel was a very serious person and everyone respected her."
With that decided, Buffy proceeded to dry her hair before trying on the outfit. It fit like a glove, a shiny, black, sexy glove.
The others were in the kitchen as Buffy made her way downstairs. "I'll see you later guys, don't wait up for me," she called out as she went out the front doorway. She caught a glimpse of her image as she opened the door. She smiled at her reflection.
"Oh Slayer," Spike moaned as she stepped outside. "You're killing me."
"You're here early," Buffy acknowledged. "The sun only set a half hour ago."
"I've been pacing the joint for hours waiting to see you," Spike licked his lips. "And might I say that if I had known you were going to look this good I would have risked catching fire."
Buffy shifted uncomfortably. Maybe the catsuit wasn't such a good idea after all.
Spike interrupted Buffy's thoughts with a serious turn, "Anyway, I think I've got a lead on where they're at."
Buffy and Spike leapt into action like a pair of leatherclad superheroes. As they rounded the corner of a back alleyway Spike paused. "This is where my source told me they were hidden."
"Can you sense anything?" Buffy hoped.
"No," he shook his head. "Still no good. Or rather still good and with you looking so delicious I don't really know a way around this dilemma."
"Maybe I can help with that," Buffy offered, catching Spike full across the face with a heavy punch. He flew back across the alley slamming into a chainlink fence. Lifting himself up he grinned. "Oh yeah, that's my girl."
Coming at her he snarled and she dealt him another blow. Shaking his head away to one side he came back in full demon face, his yellow eyes gleaming in the darkness. "I love it when you do me like that," he openly flirted. "Hey wait a minute," he paused. "I feel something."
"A concussion maybe?" Buffy suggested.
"No," he stilled her. "Be quiet for a moment and let me concentrate." He closed his eyes and took a few steps forward reaching his hand forward. Buffy watched as it disappeared into nothingness. Then he lurched forward and disappeared. Not wanting him to face the two dangerous witches alone Buffy leapt in behind him to disappear as well.
"Buffy, look out," Spike yelled as Buffy saw Amy swinging a chair at her head. Buffy ducked and knocked Amy's feet out from under her. Pinning the girl to the floor easily, Buffy chuckled out loud, "This was way too easy."
"That's for sure," a man's voice behind her announced. Buffy found herself rising up in the air and lifting up towards the ceiling. Suspended in air she could neither fight nor do anything to stop her current predicament. The ceiling in this room was unusually high and Buffy worried that if Rack decided to let her drop that even her Slayer strength couldn't keep her from being seriously injured.
"Spike," she called out to him. "Do something."
Spike backed up against the wall held in place by a forcefield created by the magical energy of the two witches. He struggled but to no avail. Spike and Buffy had succeeded in locating the pair but mere brute strength alone could not defeat them.
"So who ate all the pudding?" Dawn asked looking into the refrigerator, smacking her lips.
"I thought you did," Tara announced. "I only had one bowl and Willow didn't want to touch any of it."
"That Buffy is such a pig sometimes," Dawn shuddered. "She ate eight bowls of chocolate pudding and then has the nerve to ask for more."
"Something's not right here," Tara looked around.
"Tara," Willow called out from the livingroom. "Come here."
"What's wrong Willow?" Tara sounded concerned.
"The red dwarf guy," Willow managed. "He just went poof. He was sitting here watching Steel Magnolias with Xander and me and then he went poof. He's gone."
A look of understanding came over Tara's face. "I think I know what happened. Because this is borrowed magic you can only borrow it for a certain amount of time. You did the pudding early in the day yesterday and then the red dwarf a couple of hours later. So the spells only last around twenty-four hours. Xander isn't that great news?"
"Yeah," he shrugged, his ears flopping downwards again comically. "But I have to go to a kid's birthday party tomorrow and entertain children on Easter Sunday. What will they think of me looking like this?" He slumped forward discouraged.
"They'll just think you're the Easter Bunny you big ninny," Willow responded feeling a bit of herself again. "Hey, I wonder if Buffy and Spike finally found them."
"I don't know," Tara considered. "But I'm just glad Buffy took that catsuit away from you Dawn. Willow conjured it up just after the red dwarf. I wouldn't like to have seen you out with your friends only to have all your clothing go poof on you."
Dawn snickered at the thought of it.
Spike struggled to fight back. There was a chair right beside him but he couldn't raise his hand to grasp it. In desperation he looked up at Buffy still helplessly suspended on the ceiling. "I'm sorry Slayer," he called up to her. "I've failed you once again." When what to his surprised eyes occurred but like some sort of gift from heaven all of Buffy's clothes disappeared in a poof of smoke. What kind gods were smiling down on him giving him this vision to tell him not to lose hope? "Mmm," he observed. "No knickers." As Buffy struggled to cover her exposed flesh Rack turned his head upward to see what had caught Spike's attention. At the sight of the naked young woman floating above him he lost his focus and Spike broke free of his mental barrier and grabbed the chair bringing it down on the man's head, knocking him unconscious. Amy shrieked and ran in fear from the place, disappearing into the nothingness that was the real world.
Buffy felt herself slowly starting to descend from her perch. "Spike," she called out. "Catch me."
"Gladly," he offered holding out his arms to receive this delicate floating bird that was flying into his embrace. "Are you alright Slayer?" Spike asked, still startled. "How did you do that?"
"The magic must have worn off," Buffy correctly deduced. "That outfit was something Willow created magically. I am never wearing anything again that doesn't come from the mall."
Spike eyed her lasciviously. Buffy glared at him, arms folded across her chest. "Oh alright," he gave in and handed her his duster. As she put it on it hung to the floor on her. "I think I like the other black leather look better," Spike observed.
"So how do we break the spell on Willow," Buffy asked, looking around for the source of the spell.
"I think this might be what you're looking for," Rack suggested as he rose up from the floor. In his hand he held a small blue orb, the size of a marble.
"That's it?" Buffy demanded incredulously. "But it's so small."
"Hey," Rack reacted defensively. "It's not the size of the spell but the long range effects of the magicks wielded. Besides, Amy thought it was pretty. Hey where did she go?"
"Your girlfriend ran off," Spike taunted. "You're all on your lonesome now." He stepped towards him predatorily.
"You're going to need this to save the witch," Rack threw the small marble up into the air. Buffy and Spike both leapt for it as it fell down behind a small table in the corner of the room. Buffy sprawled across Spike's lap reaching back to grab the marble as it teetered near a hole in the floor. She managed to grasp it between two outstretched fingers and using her incredible Slayer strength she crushed it into dust. Turning, she heard Rack start to laugh as he headed for the door. "Alright, you've beaten me this time but this is far from over. Oh and don't try to follow me," he offered by way of advice. "Once I'm out this door. It will close up behind me and can't be opened until all of the strawberry's spells wear off." With those words he disappeared into the outer world.
Spike threw Buffy off his lap and rushed forward only to be met with a solid wall. Turning around to face Buffy he eyed her up and down. She looked so cute wearing only his well-worn duster. "So what are we going to do now?"
The bunnies were hopping everywhere. They were on the furniture, they were on the rugs, they were nestled on the shelves of the bookcase, they were on every other step of the staircase. They were settled on chairs in the diningroom and on the diningroom table itself. Like I said, the bunnies were everywhere. One sat happily munching on the telephone cord in the living room. As sparks flew that little bunny managed to escape with his little cottontail only mildly singed. A much-recovered redhead scooped him up and put him in a box with some of the other bunnies. "You're going to a party," she informed him.
Anya stirred slightly as her hand reached out to the warm form next to her. "Xander," she murmured contentedly. "You came home." Her hand met with something warm and squishy which wasn't a Xander kind of warm and squishy. Looking up she met the startled glance of Halfrek looking unimpressed.
"Are you quite finished?" Halfrek asked the embarrassed former vengeance demon.
Anya quickly removed her hand from Halfrek and sat up clearing her throat. "Sorry Hallie," she looked around confused. "Did Xander not come home last night?"
"He's done this before hasn't he?" Halfrek nodded her head in a smug fashion.
"Well, yes," Anya admitted. "When they're working together fighting a big evil. Sometimes their research takes them into the middle of the night. Xander sometimes just crashes on Buffy's couch."
"So what's the big evil this time?" Halfrek demanded. "You said there was a hell god before and a mutant demon and human hybrid. I can't even begin to imagine what they must be facing now."
"Well," Anya tried to explain. "There was this bank robbery a couple of weeks ago and then Buffy stopped a mugging the other day."
Halfrek offered a tight-lipped smile as her way of condescension. Anya strode over to the phone and dialed Buffy's phone number. The phone rang and rang but noone answered. The machine didn't even pick up. Something was seriously wrong.
"Halfrek," Anya echoed her very thoughts. "Something is seriously wrong."
"So what are you going to do about it?" Halfrek asked leadingly. "Oh come on," she gave in finally. "I'll drive you over there."
The two women dashed downstairs and made their way over to Buffy's in time to see Xander's car pull out of the driveway and drive off.
"He was there all the time," Anya exclaimed in shock. "And he didn't even answer the telephone. Didn't he realize I would be worried?"
Halfrek shook her head in distaste. "I guess he didn't give any thought to you at all Anyanka."
"Oh shut up Hallie and just follow that car," Anya ordered. The little blue car took off with all the speed the vengeance demon could muster.
Anya watched as Xander's car pulled up into the driveway of a nice looking house. A tall woman with red hair emerged from the house wearing a flowered dress. She leaned down to the car but Anya couldn't see Xander. There were things in the back of the car blocking his head. The woman pushed a button on a remote and the garage door opened up and Xander drove inside before the woman closed the door again.
"I have to see what's going on over there," Anya seethed.
"Let me just find a place to park," Halfrek looked around hoping to avoid parallel parking, the bane of this demon's existence.
After circling the block three times Anya got fed up. "Just park the damn car Hallie," she roared undoing her seatbelt and jumping out of the car. Halfrek managed to park the car at an unusual angle and quickly followed her friend towards the house. Reaching the back gate Anya unlatched the door and prepared herself for the worst. But nothing could have prepared her for what awaited her in this quiet neighbourhood. Opening the gate she was immediately set upon by a horde of small bunnies, lunging at her and wiggling their little cottontails at her furiously. Their noses twitched horrendously sensing fear in her.
"Hallie," she cried out. "Don't let them know you're afraid." She shuddered at the sight of them, taking her friend by the hand. "That's when they get really vicious." As the two women tiptoed past the everwatchful pink eyes that monitored their every movement Hallie panicked and knocked Anya to the ground as she made her escape. Brushing past the party guests a decorative banner caught her around the neck and she tore it free as she dashed to the safety of her car. Rolling up the windows she locked all the doors and awaited her friend's return, that is, if she even survived.
Anya lay on the ground in a frozen stare with one of the head bunnies nose to twitching nose with her. "I know what you really are," Anya tried to talk tough but inside her heart was beating a mile a minute. One of the little fluffers leapt onto her back and the battle had begun. Anya flailed about in terror as one by one the bunnies surrounded her forming a circle. She knew she was done for. It had all been for Xander. How ironic that the man she had planned to spend the rest of her life with would be the cause of her premature end.
"Mr. Bunny," a tiny voice called out timidly. "There's a lady over here fighting with our bunny rabbits."
"Anya," she heard Xander's voice call out to her. "Everyone get away from her. Get those damn bunnies off of her."
Anya felt herself being lifted up and cradled in strong loving arms that she knew oh so well. It was Xander and he had saved her. He did love her after all. Anya opened her eyes and gazed into Xander's warm pink eyes. PINK eyes. It was some kind of nightmare; Xander was a bunny too. Anya leapt up out of his arms gasping for breath. Tara rushed over and tried to calm her down.
"It's ok Anya," she soothed the distraught woman. "It's just a spell. It will wear off in a couple of hours."
"But Xander…" Anya struggled for the words to describe her horror.
"Is still Xander," Tara finished her sentence. "At least he will be when the spell wears off."
Xander had fled to the other side of the yard, away from her. Anya looked over at him as he was trying to comfort a frightened little boy by placing him on the back of a small pony. She saw him steal a glance towards her as he turned away, certain that the sight of his face was causing her such grief.
"Hey everyone it's time for the magic show," Anya heard Dawn's voice call out.
"That's my cue," Tara excused herself. "Have a seat."
Anya looked around and saw the redheaded woman standing holding hands with a man who looked remarkably like the now dead principal Snyder. A little blonde girl stood between them beaming up at the man. Tara took to the impromptu stage and Anya noticed that she was wearing a long purple robe with stars and moons decorating it. She pulled a small cylinder out of her sleeve and read aloud:
"Greetings birthday guests and a special greeting to our birthday girl Bethany who is five today. My name is Tara and I'm here today to tell you a story of Easter magic…." Tara continued with a tale of wonder and magic and she illustrated her tale with small acts of magic that caused her audience, both young and old to ooh and aah at the beauty and majesty of it all. Dawn acted as Tara's assistant, helping her perform magical feats and cracking jokes.
Willow came and sat beside Anya. "Pretty cool, isn't it?" the young woman smiled pointing to Xander who now held the little boy on his shoulders so he could get a better view. "You know, that guy is going to make one hell of a father one day."
Anya's heart melted at the thought of it. Yes, she agreed that Xander would be a wonderful father someday to some lucky children. She realized that despite their problems and despite how he looked today, that she wanted to bear those children.
After the magic act concluded with one little girl being led away crying, "But I want to see Barney do more tricks" Anya made her way over to Xander and watched him interact with the children. He was making silly faces for the kids who were fascinated by him.
"Are you a real rabbit?" the one little girl asked nervously giving his ear a tug.
"Well, today I am," Xander admitted. "But later on I'll turn back into a pumpkin."
"You won't really turn into a pumpkin Xander, will you?" Anya interrupted. "I'm having trouble enough dealing with the rabbit thing. I don't think I could handle you as a pumpkin."
"Anya," Xander turned, embarrassed. "I didn't want you to see me like this. Not with this face." He turned away painfully. "I know what it means to you."
"Come on kids," a woman urged from the house. "It's time to go home. The party is over." The little children said their good-byes and sadly departed.
Anya moved to stand beside her fiancé. "It's ok Xander," she pulled his face towards her. "It's you I love. I know you're not this wascally wabbit I see before me. You're Xander Harris and I love you." She leaned forward and kissed his bunny lips.
Xander put his arms around her and in a puff of white smoke Anya felt his soft fuzzy lips turn warm and tender. This time when she opened her eyes she was met with the right colour eyes and the right face smiling back at her.
"Let's say we go home and make like bunnies," Xander grinned suggestively.
"That's perverse," Anya snorted.
Xander leaned forward and whispered in her ear.
Anya nodded in realization of what he meant. "Oh, so that's what that means. Yes, Xander, let's do that."
"Hey guys, we're heading out," Xander announced. "Can we drop you at Buffy and Dawn's place?"
"Thanks Xander. You can take Dawn but Tara and I are going to walk home," Willow smiled awkwardly at Tara. "Say I wonder what happened to Buffy and Spike? We know they beat Amy and Rack because the spell is broken but where are they?"
"They're probably just holed up somewhere licking their wounds after the big fight," Dawn decided. "I'm sure Buffy is home already scarfing up the last of that pizza. She really works up an appetite some nights."
As Xander and the two women pulled out of the driveway Harry Snyder rushed out of the house. "Xander," he called out. "Wait."
Xander rolled down the window. "What do you want Mr. Snyder?"
"Please," he smiled broadly. "Call me Harry. I just wanted to talk to you about your wedding reception."
"Is everything ok?" Anya asked nervously.
"It's better than ok," Harry explained. "My wife owns a wedding consultancy service in town and she would like to offer the two of you the benefit of her experience on anything you need help with. Free of charge. She can hook you up with the best caterers, florists, musicians, whatever you like and she can get you her professional discount."
"Wow," Xander reeled from this news that was coming from a face he had learned to loathe over the years. "That's so kind of you Harry."
"We just really appreciate the bang-up job you did for Bethany's birthday," he smiled. "She's a special little girl."
"Speaking of bang-up jobs," Anya interrupted. "We really should get going."
The little car sped down the street past the blue hatchback that contained the petrified vengeance demon who sat their staring down at the streamer that was wound around her covered in little images of bunnies and chickies. Her silent screams wracked her body with terror.
Tara and Willow made their way down the bright sunny streets holding hands. The empty avenues were their playground as all the shops were closed.
"This is nice," Willow observed.
"Yeah, nice," Tara agreed.
"Thanks for, you know, everything the past couple of days," Willow acknowledged sheepishly. "It was hard to not give in but having you there made it better."
"I'm glad I could help," Tara smiled shyly. Leaning in, her lips met Willow's and the two engaged in a lingering kiss.
Continuing their leisurely stroll they took a shortcut down a deserted alley.
"Ooh, did you feel that," Tara motioned towards a section of empty space in the alley. "It feels warm and kinda fuzzy." She smiled suggestively.
"Yeah," Willow agreed. "It's kind of like the energy of that cloaked room Rack had but this is a different kind of energy. I wonder where it is?"
"Let's not go looking for anything magical just yet," Tara cautioned. "Besides, we've got our own magic happening here."
The two continued down the street hand in hand. As they rounded the corner Buffy's head poked out of the nothingness and looked after them.
"That was a close call," she giggled before ducking back inside. The sounds of laughter could be heard bouncing off the walls of the alleyway as the two unseen spectres carried on their wicked ways with each other.
Xander looked down at his fiancée stretched out across his chest; her satisfied face looking up into his.
She smiled up at him. "Happy Easter Xander," she beamed contentedly.
He smiled back, "Happy Easter Anya."
The End