The first thing Issei Hyoudou was aware of was the smell of wood.

It wasn't an unpleasant smell, really; it was restrained enough to give a sense of unearned nostalgia rather than an overpowering and choking fume. There were certainly worse things to wake up to, like the intrusion of a buzzing alarm clock that always came too early.

The second thing Issei Hyoudou was aware of was that something about that smell was wrong. Out of place. After a second or so of vaguely trying to figure out why, his hazed mind came to a lazy conclusion – he was overthinking it, that was all. Perhaps his mother had redone the floor recently and he'd just forgotten. Yes, that was it.

The third thing Issei Hyoudou was aware of was how much different the bed felt. It wasn't uncomfortable, not by any means. But while it was nice enough to lie on, it wasn't as nice as it should have been. The mattress seemed less supportive and soft than usual, and thinner to boot. And, strange as it sounded, much smaller. On one side, with only a very tiny distance, Issei could feel his fingers press against a wall. On the other, in an equally short distance, his fingers hovered over empty air.

The fourth thing Issei Hyoudou was aware of was the feeling of his clothes clinging to him. Now that right there – that confused him. He couldn't remember a single time in his life that he'd fallen asleep in his uniform. He knew what the nightshirts and boxers he normally wore to bed felt like, and his current clothes weren't it. More telling, though, was the compressing sensation that enveloped his feet. The feeling of the shoes he wore to school were a feeling he'd long since memorized, and now it confounded him. He'd never fallen asleep without taking his shoes off first. Issei could only suppose he'd just been that damn tired after…

What had he done yesterday? Go to school, watch porn with Matsuda and Motohoma, run an errand for his mother, and…

And what?

The fifth thing Issei Hyoudou was aware of was the weight atop his chest. It was a small thing, and Issei only realized it was even there when it shifted slightly. The lump that was curled up atop his chest was warm and seemed to be expanding and then contracting in a steady rhythm. The variation between the expanded and retracted states was tiny, but noticeable enough for Issei to be curious. As the seconds ticked by and the warm weight expanded and contracted in a continuous pattern, Issei's mind eventually came to the conclusion that the family dog had taken a nap on his chest.

Then, in one instant and from one thought, Issei's head was cleared of the fog that had rolled through it. The thought was a simple realization: The Hyoudou family didn't own a dog – or any pets at all for that matter. All of the bits of sensory input going through his mind began to slide into place, interlocking like pieces of a puzzle Issei hadn't realized he was assembling until it was finished. The picture the puzzle pieces formed was nonspecific and vague, but it was more than enough.

Wherever he was, it wasn't in his bedroom and it wasn't in his house.

Issei's eyes snapped open to gaze upon a wood-paneled ceiling, and as he sat up, he heard a slight chirp of protest. Against his stiff neck's own complaints, Issei sat up in place and slid his eyes down to the creature that had just dropped from his chest to his lap.

At first, Issei thought it was some sort of lizard. The image seemed to fit well enough. The black scales, the four feet and lengthy tail. Surely just a normal lizard that someone might keep as a pet, even if Issei didn't have the herpetological knowledge necessary to determine exactly what kind that the lizard was. That wasn't a problem, though, right? It wasn't as though it could be anything that could actually hurt him, for all that the lizard seemed to be trying to kill him with its fierce little gaze and indignant squeaks.

As he continued to stare at the creature and his vision slowly unclouded, he saw things that challenged that assumption. The quartet of backwards-sloping horns, for instance. They extended well down the reptile's head, ending just behind the back of its elongated skull. What lizard had those?

And its eyes, too. It wasn't enough that they were a more vivid shade of red than he'd ever seen in a living creature. That wasn't it. That wasn't it at all. It was what Issei saw in those eyes. They didn't seem bestial, no. If not for the obvious reptilian slit to them and their unnatural crimson tint, they could have fit into a human being's face.

Then Issei's own eyes jumped down the creature's skull as a light caught his eye. After a moment, he saw it again. As the creature rose with a disdainful sniff, he saw it a third time. The sparks.

In its snout, Issei could see sparks.

Issei blinked rapidly, his mind not quite believing what his eyes were saying to it even as they claimed that sparks popped from its snout once more. He felt around his mind, half-certain he was still asleep and yet not finding the distinctive muck and mire of the hellscape called a dream.

As his eyes slid back up the small "lizard", something else struck him. And when it did, that detail leaped out at him so forcefully that he couldn't believe he hadn't noticed it from the off.

The way the reptile stood wasn't right, certainly unlike the lizards or crocodilians Issei would have instinctively compared the creature to. It stood as a horse might, with its legs directly underneath it and keeping its torso well off the ground… or the top of Issei's leg, in this case.

As the seconds ticked on and the creature's aggrieved chirps grew quieter, Issei continued to stare at the creature, running through possibilities in his mind even as his mind began to draw the true conclusion. And after a moment, any need for that was thrown out the window.

From its sides, disguised until then by the creature's pitch-black scales and the room's poor lighting, a pair of small, dainty, bat-like wings ripped loose. Flapping up and down rapidly and sending tiny gusts of wind over a stunned Issei's leg, it began to lift off, no doubt to find somewhere else to rest – somewhere that was less prone to moving and preferably unattached to someone who would stare at it.

But it got no further than the top of Issei's head before a hand reached from the side and pulled the reptile towards them.

"There you are, little one." The voice was feminine, tinged with a note of amusement and, simultaneously, warmth. Issei turned.

There, to his left, stood a young woman. She held the reptilian creature in one arm like a baby, gently rocking it whilst gently running her fingers down its back.

Issei wanted to speak, but he couldn't find his tongue. And it wasn't due only to surprise at what he'd just seen.

Whoever she was, this young woman was beautiful. Garbed casually was she, with a grey shirt and black pants, perfectly contrasted against her rust-colored hair. That same long, slightly unkempt hair framed a somewhat tanned visage and a face speckled with the same amusement that was in her voice.

Normally, Issei's thoughts would have been leaning in an altogether more perverse direction, but this wasn't a normal circumstance. The brunette's eyes didn't lay on the young woman for more than a couple of seconds before snapping back to the creature she was petting.

Quite in opposite to hers.

"So, the hatchling's finally up?"

It took several seconds for Issei to even realize she'd spoken and several more to realize what she'd said. But when he did, he turned his head and eyes back to her and opened his lips to speak.

The moment he did, though, her hand left the creature in her arms and a finger slammed over his mouth like a vertical lock, killing his words in his throat. Her finger was calloused and rough, holding his lips together with a force that made it clear she had no intention of letting him speak for the time being.

"Let me see if I can't guess what you're thinking," she said, grinning. "One: "What happened?" Two: "Who are you?" Three: "Where am I?" Four: "Why is there a dragon here?" Does that about summarize things?"

Slowly, Issei nodded and the grin on the young woman's face widened. "Thought so. Last question first since it's the easiest." She removed her finger and her hand returned to stroking the dragon curled up in her arm. Nodding towards it, she said, "The old man asked the clutch to take care of this little guy. Tia would do it, but she's a bit tied up with a few other species."

She moved her hand up a small distance to find the dragon's small head and began to scratch, getting a small, pleased hum in return for her ministrations. The grin turned into a wry smirk. "Igneon's lucky he's so cute," she said. "Otherwise we'd be harder to mind-control. Isn't that right, you little rascal?" Her words became almost giggly at her final sentence, speaking like she might to an especially liked pet.

After a moment, she turned her head back, and this time Issei turned to meet her eyes. Really meet them, not just vaguely realize they were there as he tried to focus on something other than the tiny black dragon currently being petted. When he did, something else entered his mind that slammed out the other thoughts trying to wrangle for space within.

The girl's green eyes were not mammalian. There was no visible white to the eye, nor indeed even an immediately recognizable sclera to begin with. The eye seemed to be all iris, save a slit directly in the center that was entirely black.

They looked, in fact, exactly like a green version of the eyes currently sitting in the head of the baby dragon in the young woman's arms.

As the seconds ticked by and Issei began to comprehend just what that might mean, the young woman shot him a slightly quizzical look.

"Something wrong?"

But silence had seized Issei again as he stared her in the eyes, and it wasn't out of lust. All that there was was shock.

After a few heartbeats, the young woman suddenly blinked several times in rapid succession. "I forgot to switch my eyes back, didn't I?" A chuckle mixed itself in with her words as she said them, and without waiting for an answer, closed her eyes and gave a few short, sharp shakes of her head. When her eyes opened, and she looked at Issei once more, said eyes appeared perfectly normal.

But Issei's thoughts didn't change, even as he slowly stood up from the cot he'd been lying on. The young woman stepped back to give him a little bit of space, but Issei didn't move from where he stood up. His gaze didn't shift, either.

The girl's head tipped again, and her posture became slightly more rigid.

"Are you… gonna talk?" she asked.

And after a few seconds, Issei's voice finally came to him. In a croak, perhaps, but it was enough.

"You're not human."

The girl shrugged, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to say. "Well, guilty as charged, but neither are you."

"What?"

"I said, 'Guilty as charged-'"

"I know what you said," Issei said, cutting her off. "But… what the hell's that supposed to mean? Is that a joke? Of course I'm human!"

The girl gave a shake of her head as the grin curled back up on her lips. "Not anymore, Issei Hyoudou. Not anymore."

"How do you know my name?" Issei demanded.

The girl's grin didn't change. "Check your pockets. See if anything's missing."

Issei did so, patting himself down. Almost immediately, he realized something was missing.

When he looked up, the brunette was reaching into her own pocket. Pulling something out.

After a second or two, Issei realized it was his own cell phone. The young woman made no move to stop him as he snatched it out of her hands.

"If it means anything, we didn't actually need to hack your phone to see who it belonged to."

Issei wasn't listening. He was too busy unlocking said phone, checking the date and time.

It was nearly four in the morning. And two days after he remembered it as being.

But just as he began to press keys frantically to dial his parents, the young woman spoke again.

"Hyoudou, hold off on calling your parents for a little bit. They're probably worried, I get that, but there's some things the old man wants to clear up with you first."

Issei's fingers stopped moving, and he looked up at the girl with the rust-colored hair.

"Old man? Who's that?"

The girl with the dragon in her arms tipped her head behind her, and Issei saw a door as he turned to look.

"Follow me and you'll find out."

Issei's eye twitched. "Why can't you just tell me?"

"Because I'd probably leave something out and I want to go to bed." She gave Issei that same wry grin she'd given to Igneon and began to walk.

After a moment's consideration, Issei fell into step behind her.

The door, as it turned out, emptied into a hallway that was entirely nondescript save for a bend to the right. After that, the hallway emptied into a second corridor.

"C'mon," the young woman said, gesturing with her hand as she walked up the larger hallway into which the first had dead-ended. The second hallway was slightly more lavish than the first, with a massive and thick ornamental rug stretching its entire length and chandeliers lighting it at equal intervals.

"Where are we?" Issei asked, almost on instinct.

"Save it for the old man."

The, as it turned out, very short remainder of the walk carried itself on in silence, ending when the two came to the end of the hall and were greeted by a set of double doors. The young woman pushed them open and slipped inside without bothering to knock, and Issei followed behind her.

The room it emptied into, in contrast to the somewhat luxurious prior hall, was almost entirely spare in its furnishings. It was a windowless room, with a flat grey rug and a large conference-like table that could easily seat twenty.

In front of the table, exactly on the opposite side of the door through which the two entered, stood a large oak desk. And behind the desk sat a man.

He wasn't the most notable figure Issei had ever seen. The man was far from hideous, but he appeared almost nondescript. He had a simple, short crop of black hair and the look of a middle-aged man in a dark, ill-fitting suit with its sleeves rolled up. Aside from his clothes, he could have been a thousand people, and the way the young woman addressed him didn't do anything to change that.

"Old man, the hatchling's up and about. Can I go to sleep now?"

"I wasn't making you stay awake, you know," the man replied dryly. "You could've been in bed hours ago if that was what you wanted. You were the one who insisted on staying up."

"I know, but I'd rather blame you anyway."

The man rolled his eyes. "Nothing new about that." He pointed a slight nod in the young woman's direction. "I see you found Igneon. I assume he was using the hatchling as a pillow?"

"How did he manage to open the doors to get in there, again?"

"A most excellent question best answered another time. Try to make sure you don't shift too much. Igneon needs his rest too, you know."

The girl snorted good-naturedly but said nothing else as the man waved her off. A moment later, she'd disappeared through the same door she and Issei had come in through, leaving Issei and the man alone.

"So then," the man began immediately. "Issei Hyoudou, correct?"

"Uh… yeah, that's right," Issei said. "L-Look, I really need to call my parents. They're-"

"Extremely worried, no doubt. But before you go and do that, you ought to be somewhat aware of your situation. I assume she didn't tell you much of anything?" He nodded towards the door.

"Well, uh…" Issei fumbled for a moment, before he realized that he had never actually gotten the young woman's name.

"I'll take that as confirmation."

"Uh… she said I wasn't human. Or wasn't anymore, at least." Issei bit his lip. "But that's not true, right? Some sort of weird trick or a joke, I guess."

The man gave Issei a curious look as he lightly shook his head. "Not at all, Issei Hyoudou. You are no longer human and never will be again."

"Look, this "joke" isn't funny," Issei said, a note of anger rising in his voice. Under most circumstances, he'd never have dared to speak to his elders this way. But this wasn't most circumstances.

"It's not intended as a joke, nor is it meant to be amusing. It's the simple truth."

"Really?" Issei asked, sarcasm thick in his tone. "You expect me to believe that? That I've suddenly turned into… into something else? I'd think I'd have noticed if that had happened."

The man shrugged. "Not necessarily true, and certainly not in this case. I always make sure of that when I scale someone."

"'Scale'?"

"Reincarnate a human as a dragon."

Once more, Issei's thoughts froze in place. But this time, they melted almost instantly, and the brunette's head began to shake. Because of course that was total crap. Sure, he could accept the existence of dragons. Igneon and what he'd seen with him was proof enough. But to be made into one? That had to be impossible. Simply, profoundly impossible.

"You don't believe me."

Issei looked up at the man who had just spoken. "No, I don't."

The man abruptly stood and strode over to Issei. Without asking, the man grabbed Issei's hand.

"Believe this, then."

What happened next would be chiseled into the annals of Issei's mind forever.

Without any pain, the skin of Issei's hand began to twist, turn, split and break apart. The normal complexion slowly vanished, steadily turning to darker and darker shades. Then, the skin began to change texture, growing tougher and less flexible.

Twist, darken and toughen. Twist, darken and toughen. The whole process took no more than a few seconds, but to Issei's mind, those seconds dragged on for an eternity.

And when it was finished, Issei could only stare in shock at the black scales that ran up and down his arm.

Yeah, so this was originally going to be just another "Issei becomes Rias' servant and re-enacts canon with minor differences" plot, but I decided that that's boring and that I'd rather do something weirder and more off-the-wall. Is this a terrible idea for a story? Mmm… yeah, probably. But as the scars all over my body can attest, something being a bad idea has never stopped me before!