Author's Note: Okay. I found out about the whole Ameristralia thing via the internet a couple days ago, and figured I had to write about it. I mean, come on! The Fanfiction gods practically dropped this one in my lap! A little disclaimer; I know basically nothing about Australia. XD Please feel free to point out anything I get wrong! Anyway, read and review, please! And most of all, emjoy!
It was one sleepy night when Australia logged onto his computer. He was about to check out for the night, and just needed to check his email one last time to make sure he didn't miss any important business. He scanned through his inbox. Junk mail; deleted. More junk mail; deleted. Sealand ranting about being a real nation; deleted. He was nearly done, having found nothing that really concerned him, when one message caught his eye; it was from America, (evidenced by the address 'muricafuckyeah') and it was titled…
…Ameristralia.
Australia lifted an eyebrow. "What the…" He muttered to himself as he clicked on the message and read it with growing confusion.
Yo, dude! It's America! But u could probly tell that from my email address, lol! Anyway, dude, I have a prposal for you! We should totlly join up and become AMERISTRALIA! I mean, the internet already thinks its a good idea! Whatcha think?
Australia sat with his chin rested in his palm for a second, mulling this over. His fingers finally flew to the keyboard.
America, what have you been smoking? What would be the use in becoming one country, anyway?
He was about to stand up and finally go to bed, when a message pinged in his inbox. He looked at the screen, seeing it was from America. How he'd responded that quickly, he'd never know.
Lol, I havent been smoking anything! Thats Matties deal, dude. Anyway, dontcha think it makes sense? I mean, together we could be the most kickass country EVER! Wed be bigger than Russia, wed have all the best accents, and our national animal could totally be a KOALA RIDING AN EAGLE. How bafass does that sound!? Plus, we could ttally troll England together, lol!
Australia immediately set to replying.
First of all, why on Earth are you up so late? Second of all… that does actually sound pretty cool. But how would we go about it?
Dude, time difference! XD Dur! OH! Thats another one! Remmber the old saying, "the sun never sets on Britain" or whatever? Wed be like that, only more badass because AMERISTRALIA!
Alright then… but I still want to know how you plan to actually make this happen. We'd need permission from both our bosses, and then there would be public opinion to get over. This is harder than you're making it sound.
Dude. (Did he start all his sentences with 'dude'?) We dont need permission! All we gotta do is start calling ourselves Ameristralia, and were set!
Australia hummed thoughtfully. This… this was actually starting to sound rather fun. He sent one last email before he had to go to bed.
Sounds like a plan, mate. See you at the next world meeting, fellow Ameristralian!
If he'd stayed up late enough, he would have caught the reply, too;
See ya there! FOR 'MURISTRAYA!
A week later, England stepped out of the elevator in the UN building and into the hall. He adjusted his tie in a very businesslike manner, bracing himself for hours of shouting and fighting and generally getting nothing done. Of course, being the sole nation who never contributed to the chaos, it could really get quite tiresome. Oh yes, many would claim that he instigated most – if not all – of his fights with France, but was it really his fault of the damn frog was so intolerable? Well?
…England decided to get himself off that train of thought before he ended up having an existential crisis. In any case, as he was walking down the hall toward the meeting room door, he suddenly felt someone grabbing onto his arm. In a jerk reaction, his elbow slammed backwards, and he heard a small, pitiful "Owwww…" come from behind him.
England turned around to see the northern half of Italy, clutching at his chest and looking like he was about to tear up. "Oh! I'm sorry my boy, I didn't know it was you!" England said. "Er… are you alright?"
"Ve, it's okay." Italy sniffled. "You didn't m-mean it."
England immediately relaxed. He didn't even want to think about what would have happened if the Italian had gone running to Germany crying about how 'mean old England' had hurt him. It was then that a thought occurred to him. "Er, Italy, is there a reason why you were grabbing onto my arm?"
Italy looked confused for a second, before his eyebrows went up in realization. "Oh! Oh, yes, there was!" He began to flail his arms around in a panic. "I-it's America and Australia! They've gone totally crazy, nobody knows what to do!"
England facepalmed. "I'll go take care of them." He said exasperatedly, already resigning himself to dragging his drunk former colonies out the door. At least, he assumed they'd be drunk. What he found when he opened the door to the meeting room was… was much stranger.
Mostly because they didn't seem to actually be doing anything objectionable. They were just sitting peacefully next to each other, grinning to each other. Which, while a little creepy, wasn't all that unusual. Except… "America, Australia." England said, approaching the two. They both turned around to look at him. "What are you doing sitting next to each other? Don't you think Canada and New Zealand would feel lonely?" The two normally sat next to their respective little brothers, who were now stuck next to each other thanks to the unexpected seating rearrangement.
Both nations immediately grinned at the question. "Why, England! Don't you know?" America said happily. "There is no America!"
"And there is no Australia!" Australia chimed in.
"There is only… AMERISTRALIA!" They said in unison, pulling salutes for good measure. England stared, dumbstruck. There were no words.
"Oh, yeah!" Australia suddenly said. "Ala! Come on out, mate!" At that, a very disgruntled-looking koala climbed out of Australia's lap and onto the table, with what looked to be a stuffed bald eagle strapped to its back.
"Couldn't find any real ones." America said sheepishly, as Australia tried to coax the koala into not chewing the eagle to pieces.
England raised one eyebrow sarcastically. "Oh really?" He said. "I would have thought they flocked around you while you slept." He made his way swiftly to his own seat. If America and Australia wanted to act like nutters, well they could do that on their own. But the rest of them had a meeting to start. He advised the others to just ignore them, and the discussions began. Though not without… interruptions.
"No, America, you can't-"
"It's not America, it's Ameristralia!" America whined.
Canada sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose to stave off a headache. "Fine. But still, Ameristralia, 'defeating' the economy with increased vegemite trade is not a viable option."
"Er, yeah, mate, I'd like to know where that one came from." Australia piped up.
"What! I'm tryna be more Australian!" America complained.
"Is all you know about Australian culture koalas and vegemite?"
"…And kangaroos…"
"Are you kidding?" America shouted. "With the awesome power of Ameristralia protecting y'all, North Korea should be shaking in his boots!" He turned to Australia with a gleam in his eyes. "Dude! Dude, let's say the thing!"
Australia grinned, and they both shouted in unison; "AMERISTRALIA! FUCK YEAH, CUNTS!"
Canada groaned, leaning back tiredly in his chair. "What the maple hell do they think they're doing…" He muttered to himself.
"Yeah…" New Zealand commented. "It seems kinda silly, doesn't it? Not fun at all…"
Canada glanced over to the little nation, who was petting a small sheep forlornly as he watched their brothers making nuisances of themselves together. "Hey." Canada said, smiling as he whispered conspiratorially into New Zealand's ear. "How does the name New Zanada sound?"
"Ow! You're stepping on my- ow!"
"Sorry, sorry!" Everyone turned curiously toward the noise coming from the UN room. They had all left once the meeting was done, but America and Australia had stayed behind for whatever reason. Of course the other nations had chosen to disregard the lunatics, but now… well, some couldn't help but be curious.
"Okay, are you steady?" They heard Australia's voice ask.
"Yup! Let's go!" The door opened, and out stepped…
Well, Ameristralia.
"Yippe-kay-ay, motherfuckers!" America shouted happily. Everyone stared. America had climbed up on top of Australia's shoulders, and was sitting there now while pretending to wave a lasso around. "Muahahahaha, we're invincible now! Hey, dude!" He addressed Australia. "Get on over to Russia!'
"What? Wh- oh, yeah!" Australia grinned, marching up to the northern nation. Though, not without difficulty, seeing as his center of gravity had been thrown off pretty tremendously. They stopped in front of Russia. "Take a good look, mate!" Australia said. "We're bigger than you now!"
"AMERISTRALIA FOR THE WIN!" America shouted, fist pumping for emphasis. Of course, he realized a moment later that he was really too close to the ceiling for that, and plaster rained down on the three – two? – nations.
"Ey! Watch it!" Australia complained.
"Sorry, dude!" America apologized quickly. "Sometimes I don't know my own strength!"
Meanwhile, Russia was beginning to smile at them. Not the good kind of smile, either; the Russia kind of smile. The kind of smile that makes you really want to hide in a hole and hope he doesn't come after you with some kind of medieval torture device. The kind of smile you don't miss. Both America and Australia turned worriedly toward him. "Er, is something wrong?" Australia asked.
"Should I take this as a threat?" Russia said, still smiling that eerily childish smile. America and Australia began to sputter protests, but he would have none of it. "Why else would you be so excited to be larger than me, hm? Are you planning something, 'Ameristralia'?"
"Run?" Australia asked.
"Run." America confirmed. Australia took off down the hall, running as fast as he could with America still on his shoulders, and Russia kol'ing behind them.
England sighed as he watched them go. "Bloody idiots." He muttered. "Ameristralia… have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous?" He said, turning to Canada.
Canada looked away. "Yeah… ridiculous." He agreed tentatively.
The next day, America and Australia walked into the meeting room as separate nations. "So you finally came to your senses?" England asked, looking at both of them with his hands on his hips.
"Yeah, um…" Australia rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Ameristralia started to look like a really bad idea after Russia tried to forcibly partition us…" All three shuddered at the words, and England nodded, leaving the conversation at that. They didn't need to say anymore.
Suddenly the door burst open, and everyone jolted up to see Canada walk into the meeting room, with New Zealand riding on his shoulders. "Make way for New Zanada, eh!" New Zealand said happily as Canada walked them both over to a seat at the table. England just groaned, burying his face in both his hands. Here we go again…