NOTE : This is a 5 + year old manuscript I'm reposting. I WILL / AM editing all 107 of my Twilight stories. Thats over 1.2 million words currently and counting… If you are a longstanding fan please message me with any requests for reposts and I will move it to the top of the repost list. Thank you always fandom friends for carrying me through my darkest times. I owe these stories to you all. Please review I need the motivation.

Choice & Consequence

Written By TheMightyRen

Beta: Ynotjacob

Pre-reader: rllance

Foolishly in New Moon, Jake turns Bella away, she turns to Quil that day and together they deal with the rejection, romance blossoms between them but it's not meant to be, the spirits have commanded and so it shall be...

Chapter One ~ PreC&C-verse

(A 'Mighty' mash-up of Chapter 9 ~ New Moon)

I wasn't miserable anymore and time was moving quickly. Between school, work, and Jacob an effortless pattern was formed. Charlie wasn't complaining, I was out of my room and functioning. I might have been fooling him and Jacob but I couldn't fool myself. My composure still hung on a thread at times; and that thread was none other than Jacob Black.

I was like a lost moon, my planet destroyed in some cataclysmic, disaster-movie scenario of dissolution. When I paused to take stock of life, something that I never liked to do, I was certain that I was putting too much faith in Jacob. What if he stopped being there for me? The consequences didn't bear thinking about.

The voice in my head had faded. Granted, I was better on the bike now but I didn't think that was entirely the root of the problem. No longer hearing the voice terrified me. Was I beginning to forget about Edward, his whole of his family? If only I had the photos, some physical proof that the were not a figment of my imagination. That might have helped.

One terrible weekend I slipped down the stairs, and I say it was terrible because Edward's voice didn't chastise me. Escaping a trip to the ER hadn't been any comfort to me, though it was for Charlie, even if he did have to replace the rail. Seeing me cartwheel down the stairs tangled in a mass of bedding would haunt him for years to come.

As a distraction, a last hope almost, I threw myself into searching for the meadow. It was frenzied, to the point where the feeling was palpable. I racked my brain in search of other adrenalin-producing activities, but couldn't think of any that would top the motorbikes without skirting on the edge of suicide.

Not keeping track of the days that passed and living as much as possible in the present left me unprepared for Jacob to bring up the date at the beginning of one of our homework sessions. He was waiting when I pulled up in front of his house.

"Happy Valentine's Day," Jacob said, smiling, but ducking his head as he greeted me. I considered if maybe he'd been using the phrase all day or if he had only said it to me. I realised that I should probably pay attention to the people around me more often.

He held out a small, pink box, balancing it on his palm. Conversation Hearts.

"Well, I feel like a schmuck," I told him cheerily, part of me trying to brush over the fact that it was obviously Valentine's and that Jacob was making something of it; that 'it' being directly linked to myself. Taking the box from him I tore it open, shaking the candy into my palm and flicking some of them over to find one to give back to him. It was the least I could do. "Is today Valentine's Day?"

Jake shook his head with mock sadness, "You can be so out of it sometimes. Yes, it is the fourteenth day of February. So are you going to be my Valentine?" His mock amusement and didn't bother to hide the genuine intention behind his request. "Since you didn't get me a fifty-cent box of candy?" And that was why I could be around Jacob so much, because no matter what he felt for me and no matter the boundaries he would push or how they would blend, he knew me and he saw how much it took me to let him as close as he was. I tried not to think of how he wanted more.

Smiling I bumped my shoulder into his arm and palmed him a candy, "BFF" before rolling my eyes. Being anything less than upbeat around Jacob was impossible.

"What exactly does that entail? Because I'm already sneaking you notes from my Arizona Literature stash." I joked back.

"Oh, well. I suppose." He looked flustered and dutifully embarrassed. "Just the usual 'slave for life' stuff, anyway. Nothing you can't handle, I don't think." His gaze slid to mine while he held the front door open for me and I chuckled. Again with the blurring of lines. It was flattering and Jacob had a lovely way of doing these things but... I couldn't let things change. The trouble was it was just so easy being with him. I would have to find a way to make the boundary lines clear again. It wasn't going to be an easy thing to do, especially when he would make sweet gestures like that.

"So, what are we doing tomorrow? Hiking or the ER?"

"What's Quil doing? Maybe you two should-"

"Grounded. He won't tell me why but I saw his mom. There is no way she's going back on it."

I nodded, "Hiking then." I decided. "I'm starting to think I imagined that place..." And I knew it was quite possible that I had.

"You know we'll find it. Bikes Friday?" He offered.

Seeing the chance to redefine our friendship I jumped at it, the two of us spending so much time alone together, this routine... it wasn't helping. I knew it wasn't just Jacob who needed reminding either. I was left alone on the forest floor. Unwanted and unloved, I reminded myself.

"I'm going to a movie Friday. I've been promising the cafeteria crowd that I would go forever." Mike would be pleased at least.

But Jacob's face fell, I had hoped he would enjoy the space. I caught the expression in his dark eyes before he dropped them to look at the ground. Hurting Jacob was something that I didn't want to do, not even if it was for his benefit.

"You'll come too, right?" I added quickly. "Or will it be too much of a drag to be with a bunch of boring seniors?" I hadn't ever pushed Jacob away and I realised that it wasn't going to be an easy task, especially when we seemed to be connected in an odd way; his pain set off little stabs of my own. On a positive note, I thought, maybe it would help keep Mike in line too if he saw me with Jacob.

"You'd like me to come, with your friends there?"

"Yes," I admitted honestly, "I'll have a lot more fun if you're there. Bring Quil, and we'll make it a party." I hoped Quil could add just a little more distraction for Jake.

"Quil's gonna freak. Senior girls." He chortled and rolled his eyes. I didn't mention Embry, and neither did he.

I laughed, too. "I'll try and get him a good selection." If I had been on the ball I would have said 'the two of you' but at the same time, I knew that the thought didn't cross my mind for a reason. Much later that night when I was at home, in bed alone and the house was silent, I tried to push away the churning feeling I felt in my gut when I imagined how Jessica would be around him.

Mike had some notion that his mom's Suburban was going to be necessary. Jessica was still giving me the cold shoulder. When she and Lauren found out that the outing was my idea they both claimed to be busy. Quil was still grounded and this time Jacob knew why. He had been the one to pull Quil off two older guys who had said something about Quil's grandad. Only Angela and Ben and, of course, Jacob and Mike were able to go, not that any of it mattered to Mike. He didn't shut up about it on Friday. Jessica didn't look impressed.

When I got home from school, a very familiar car was parked in front of my house. Jacob was leaning against the hood, a huge grin spread across his face.

"No way!" I shouted, jumping from the truck. "It's done? I can't believe it. You finished the Rabbit!"

If the grin hadn't been proof enough the bounce in his step as he walked toward me was.

"Just last night. This is her maiden voyage."

"Incredible," I told him, at the same time raising my hand and Jacob high fived me. He left his hand there, twisting his fingers through mine.

"So do I get to drive tonight?"

"Definitely," I said, and then I sighed heavily.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm giving up-I can't top this one. So you win. You're older."

He shrugged, winking cheekily, as though it was something he had been obviously waiting for me to admit to. "Of course I am."

At that moment Mike's battered Suburban chugged around the bend. I took the opportunity to pull my hand from Jacob's but stood proudly next to him. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed he pulled a face that I don't think I was supposed to see.

"I remember this guy," he said in a low voice. "The one who thought you were his girlfriend. Is he still confused?"

It was impossible for me not to comprehend Jake's possessive tone, "Some people are hard to discourage." I told him. It was honest enough and I couldn't resist the small dig at Jake. I wasn't his girlfriend and I had never given him the illusion that we might be more than good friends.

"Then again," Jacob said thoughtfully, "sometimes persistence pays off."

His attitude angered me and I spoke before I had chance to really think about it. "Most of the time it's just annoying, though." I glanced at Jake again a little nervously when I saw his body tense out of the corner of my eye. He focused on Mike before glancing back at me for a second, shooting me a lopsided grin, almost as though he hadn't been staring daggers at Mike.

"But not all of the time?"

I would have liked to have dismissed the warm fluttering feeling in my stomach by reasoning that his smile had been similar Edward's, but there was no similarity. I reminded myself again that I was broken and that I would never be worthy of Jacob because of it.

I perceived with the intense introductions and tense car ride - where Jacob and Mike competed to see who knew me better, obviously Mike hadn't stood a chance against Jacob. I had spent the majority of the ride stunned into silence as I observed how well Jacob knew me, especially some of the things I hadn't really known myself until they were mentioned. We watched the awful movie, which Jacob and I managed to laugh through after the awkward first forty minutes when both boys seemed to be trying to encourage me to take one of their hands. Mike was the first to give up, and the moment he did Jacob's warm hand reached across and found mine, unwrapping my arms from my chest. I hadn't realised I was holding myself so tightly until his warm thumb eased my fingers away from my palm and I felt the blood tingling as it returned to my digits.

We sat that way, his hand soothing mine? I wasn't in the mood to analyse whether it was something more or not. Mike groaned, cradling his head in his hands.

Momentarily paralyzed at the thought that Jacob and I holding hands had caused his reaction, I snatched my hand away from his and leaned toward Mike.

"Mike, are you okay?" I whispered.

The couple sat in front of us, who I think Jacob and I had thoroughly upset by laughing turned to give us a look and Mike groaned again.

"No," he gasped. "I think I'm sick."

I could see the sheen of sweat across his face in the light from the screen.

Mike groaned again and bolted for the door. I got up to follow him with Jacob close behind me. He wouldn't stay to watch the film even though I told him to. He said he wouldn't be getting his money's worth anyway,because it was terribly clichéd.

There was no sign of Mike out in the hallway, so Jake ducked into the bathroom and confirmed that he was definitely in there.

"What a marshmallow. You're going to hold out for someone with a stronger stomach, right? Someone who laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit?"

I was a little perturbed by Jacob's' one-upmanship. I'd conceded, held his hand over Mike's, if that was how he wanted to look at it. We weren't on a date. I didn't even want to date anyone, that wasn't supposed to be what tonight had been about. The hallway was deserted, only the popping from the popcorn machine at the concessions stand for company.

Jacob went to sit on the velveteen bench, scooting over further to make room for me when he saw was I was going to sit with him.

"He did sound as though he was going to be in there for a while." Stretching his long legs out in front of him he crossed his arms over his chest. We sat quietly for a moment. It was one of those silences where you know the other person is thinking about saying something, and knowing Jacob I knew that he was thinking about blurring more lines. In the end he wrapped his arm around my waist and dragged me toward him, closing my 'friendship' gap.

"Jake," I whined. It was too intimate, I just couldn't let him be this way.

"Well what are you doing all the way over there? Do I look as though I have the cooties?" Leaning away I sighed. When I shot him a look that I hoped told him I wasn't taking his crap he released me. I shifted away a little further, not as far as I had been but it was enough to make a point. Where did he get this confidence from? It wasn't like Jacob to be this forward.

"Hold on a minute, Bella. Tell me something."

I grimaced, I didn't want to tell Jacob anything right now. Not now, not ever, nothing even close to this subject. I didn't want this discussion. I could feel everything was about to come crashing down around me and then what would I do? What would I do without Jacob?

"What?" I snapped, I couldn't help it. I was terrified of anything changing.

"You like me, right?" Jacob Black seemed determined to ruin everything tonight.

"You know I do." It was barely a mumble. Jacob just seem to understand. Not only did like him, I'd do virtually anything for him. Anything but feel for him the way he wanted.

"You, like me better than that joker puking his guts out in there?" Gesturing to the bathroom door with his thumb.

I suddenly realised how large his hands had gotten. How did we even hold hands? It seemed like a physical impossibility that we would fit together. Trying not to stare, or even look at him, I sighed, "Yes."

"Well that's great. As long as you like me the best, that's all that matters." He wound his arm around my shoulder and I settled in. I could understand where he was coming from. I don't think I would have liked seeing Jessica and Lauren fawn all over him if they had come tonight. It was stupid and selfish but it was how I felt. It didn't matter how things looked to anyone on the outside didn't really matter so long as Jacob was okay with it, but I did need to know he understood completely that there was no chance of me ever recovering from the way Edward had treated me.

"I'm not going to change you know, Jacob." Even though I tried to keep my voice steady, I knew there was a sadness there. It was upsetting knowing that I would be forever alone, that I had been damaged and hurt so terribly that no matter how good of a man Jacob was I would never be able to trust him. That even if I didn't see Jacob as my cousin or brother, knowing how good he was wouldn't ever change anything.

His face was thoughtful, "It's still the other one, isn't it?"

I cringed. Did it have to be so obvious?

"You don't have to talk about it, but don't get mad at me for hanging around. I'm prepared to be annoyingly persistent. I've got loads of time." He reached across and took my hand, weaving his fingers through mine.

I wanted so much to push him away, I was such a contradiction. Here I was telling him I would never change and yet I longed to have someone hold me the way Jacob was, to pay attention to me the way Jacob did and know me the way he did. It raised the question, did they ever know me the way Jacob did? I didn't ponder too long on the answer to that, I didn't admit or dismiss anything associated with it either.

"You shouldn't waste your time on me." If he found someone else one day, someone who could make him happy and love him back, who wasn't as damaged as I was, I would let him go. I just had to hope that I was strong enough when the time came.

"It's what I want to do, as long as you still like to be with me."

Leaning into his shoulder I confessed. "I can't imagine ever not liking being with you.

Jacob beamed. "I can live with that." His chin rested on top of my head and it must have looked far more intimate than it actually was. I felt his breath move my hair when he spoke.

Letting go of his hand I fisted his top and looked up at him. "Just don't expect more, please, for your sake." I tried to pull away but he wouldn't let me go. My hand fell to his thigh.

"This doesn't bother you, does it?" Jacob was so much warmer than I was. I always felt so cold these days.

"No," I sighed.

"And you don't care what he thinks?" He nodded his head toward the bathroom door again.

"No."

"Then what's the problem?" I turned my hand palm up and watched as his palm covered mine.

"The problem," I told him, threading our hands together, "is that this means something different to you than it does to me." Flexing my fingers I hoped to make the point a little more defined.

"Well." Jacob tightened his arm around my back and squeezed my fingers.

I wanted this, so much. I wanted to throw caution to the wind and just be with Jacob, because it would be so easy. It wouldn't be forgetting what had been, or dismissing it.

What held me back was the fear of losing Jacob, it was almost worse that the abandonment I'd already experienced. It was that which stopped me from looking into his eyes, because I knew what would come next. I knew what I would have wanted him to do if ever he had held me this way, and that would have meant losing the wavering, diminishing boundaries I had left between Jacob and I. That was not a gamble I was going to take, especially when age, life was stacked against us.

His thumb snuck down, caressing my wrist . When it brushed against the scar James had left , we both flinched.

"Where did you get that scar from? It's healed badly."

I stilled, probably too obviously, but the story behind this scar was not one I could share with Jacob.

"Do you honestly expect me to remember where all my scars came from?"

I waited for the memory to hit, to open the gaping hole in my chest, but it never came. Jacob's presence kept me whole.

"It's so much colder than the rest of your arm." Curiously he released me from his embrace and pushed the sleeve of my sweater up my arm, working both hands along it as though to stimulate the circulation. I shrugged.

Mike came stumbling out of the bathroom and I was pleased for the distraction. He looked horrible.

"Oh, Mike," I gasped.

"Do you mind leaving early?" He rasped, swallowing excessively.

"No, of course not." I went to hold his elbow, he looked terribly unsteady.

"Movie too much for you?" Jacob asked heartlessly.

Mike's glare was malevolent. "I didn't actually see any of it," he mumbled. I didn't think that was entirely true. "I was nauseated before the lights went down."

"Why didn't you say something?" I scolded. Why had he even turned up if he was feeling ill? Mike staggered towards the exit. I didn't really want to be too close to him, even though I knew chances were I was already going to catch whatever Mike had.

"I was hoping it would pass."

What an idiot, I thought. Jacob returned waving a bucket from the concessions stand in front of Mike. I shuddered, not wanting to think about cleaning puke out of the back of Jacob's Rabbit.

It was a quiet drive home, almost as though Mike wasn't sitting in the back. He threw up as soon as Jake pulled the car to the curb outside his house.

"I'll get my parent's to bring my car home, Bella." Mike told me before spitting into the bucket-gross.

I was freezing from having wound the front windows down in an attempt to help with Mike's queasy feeling. Relieved to see the back of him, I wound the passenger window up quickly, Jacob did the same with his.

"Cold again?" He asked turning on the heaters.

"You aren't?" I said in a disbelieving tone. He reached toward me, his hand resting on my knee as though his warmth would radiate through the rest of my body.

I gasped in shock when I felt how hot he was. "You have a fever, Jake."

At the lights I held the back of my hand to his forehead.

"Whoa, you're burning up!"

"I feel fine." He pushed my hand away, "Fit as a fiddle. I don't get sick - ever."

I frowned, touching his head again. His skin was blazing hot. Sweat should have been pouring from him. Hell I was no expert, but I was sure he should have been at the hospital.

"Your hands are like ice," he complained.

"Maybe it is me." I conceded. I wasn't entirely sure, even after having all the windows open and generally feeling colder despite the layers, I would swear Jacob was hot.

When he pulled in front of Charlie's house I was tempted to check his temperature again now that my fingers had warmed a little.

"I'd invite myself in, only I think you might be right about the fever. I feel a little... strange."

"Oh not, not you too. Do you want me to drive you home?"

"No." He shook his head, his eyebrows pulling together. "I don't feel unwell. Just... wrong."

"Will you call me as soon as you get in?" I asked anxiously.

"Sure, sure." He frowned, staring ahead into the darkness and biting his lip.

I opened my door to get out, but he grabbed at my wrist lightly and held me there.

"What is it Jake?" I was genuinely worried about him, and if he got sick... what would Billy do? I knew how much Jacob did for his dad, and if Jacob was feeling rotten there was no one else around to help.

"There's something I want to tell you, Bella... but I think it's going to sound kind of corny. I can't think of any other way though, so if you can, just think I said it that way instead, okay?"

I nodded, thinking I knew pretty much what he was going to say. "Go ahead." Might as well let him go for it, I reasoned with myself.

"It's just that, I know you're unhappy-a lot. And maybe I don't help all that much, but I wanted you to know I'll always be here for you. I won't ever let you down, and I promise that you can always count on me. I will never, ever hurt you. Wow! That does sound corny, but it's true."

I smiled sadly, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. He was still offering friendship; maybe our closeness tonight wouldn't damage the boundaries too much.

"Yeah, Jake. I know, and I already count on you, probably more than you know."

The smile that broke out on his face was like the last ray of sun staining the horizon a blazing orange. I wanted to cut my tongue out. None of it was a lie but I should have lied for Jacob, because another truth was that I would let him down and I would hurt him.

A strange look crossed his face. " I really think I'd better get home now," he said.

I got out quickly.

"Call me!" I yelled as he pulled away.

As I watched him drive away, he seemed in control of the car at least. I stared at the empty street when he was gone, feeling a little sick myself, but not for any physical reason.

How I wished that Jacob Black had been born my flesh and blood brother. It would have left me free of any blame now. I had never meant to love him. I knew it now in the pit of my stomach, from the crown of my head to the tips of my toes that I loved him. Jacob ran deep through my bones, filling the hollow shell that was my heart, and I knew how loving someone gave them the power to break you.

I'd been broken, beyond repair.

I physically needed Jacob right now, he had been my crutch for only a few short weeks and I needed to find a way to give him back his freedom. He was my best friend, I owed it to him and I loved him enough that I wanted to see him happy. I knew unequivocally that my love would never, ever be enough for what he deserved.

I watched the clock after talking to Charlie. He was a little surprised to see me home early. He was trying to usher me to bed, to rest. I must have looked a little off colour.

"I just want to wait for Jake to call, he said he would." Charlie nodded as I drummed my nails on the counter. Eight minutes, fifteen minutes, twenty-one minutes. I couldn't wait any longer. Panic stricken, I grabbed for the phone and dialed the all too familiar number.

Billy answered on the eighth ring, breathless. I had been just about to hang up.

"Hello?"

"Billy, it's me, Bella. Did Jake get home yet? He said he wasn't feeling too great when he left here."

"He's here," Billy said tonelessly.

"Oh." Worry dampened my irritation at him for not calling.

"He was too sick to call, he's not feeling well right now." Billy sounded distant. I realised he must want to be with Jacob.

"Please, let me know if you need any help with anything." I offered. "I could come down, no problem."

"No, no." Billy said quickly. "We're fine. Stay at your place." The way he said it told me that he really didn't want me around. It hurt. Maybe Jake had told him what had happened between us and he was looking out for his son.

"Okay," I agreed.

"Bye, Bella."

The line disconnected.

At least he had made it home, though I didn't feel any better for knowing that. I trudged up the stairs thinking about ways I could help out.

Jacob's voice in my mind saying, I never get sick - ever, was weighing heavily on my mind.

All bets were off though, when a couple of hours later I found myself burying my face into the toilet bowl.

Charlie tapped on the door and asked, "Is there anything you need?"

Shaking my head first I rested my forehead on the seat before calling out, "No." my voice broken by another wave of vomit forcing itself from my body.

"Stomach flu," he finally said.

"Yes," I moaned, "Call the Newtons for me, please?" I asked hoarsely.

"Sure, no problem, Bells."

I spent the rest of the day on the bathroom floor, I vaguely remembered taking myself back to bed at one point only having to return moments later.

It was dark when I woke, hearing Charlie's heavy foot fall on the stairs. He came into my room and set a glass of water on the table beside my bed.

"Still alive?"

"Sort of," I mumbled. My lips were dry and cracked, but the effort required to sit and take a drink outweighed the need for hydration at the moment.

"Can I get you something? Toast? Maybe some eggs?" He asked hesitantly.

"Urgh." Burying my head, face down into my pillow, I willed his words - the idea of food - from my mind completely.

"How is Jacob? Do they need anything?" I asked into my pillow. Charlie's voice cracked like he was a little shocked by my concern.

"Billy said he is resting. You know Jake, he sleeps like the dead when he wants to. They'll be fine."

I nodded, hoping he was right but not truly well enough to move so I could look at him. The floorboards creaked.

"Karen said Mike's up and about now, so that's good. You have about six hours left, Bellschika."

I didn't wake again until morning. Astounded how well I felt, my stomach growled with excessive hunger. Those eggs and toast offered the previous day sounded like a plan. Nervously I sat up and took a drink of the water Charlie had left. My tummy gurgled, longing for something more substantial.

Feeling well enough to move, I pulled on my joggers and socks from the side of my bed and wrapped myself in my duvet before trudging down stairs still wearing the vest I'd pulled on the day before. I was cold again.

I grabbed the phone and dialed the Black's as I filled the kettle.

Jacob was the one who answered, but when I heard his greeting I knew he wasn't over it yet.

"Hello?" His voice was broken, cracking.

"Oh, Jake. You sound horrible." I said sympathetically.

"I feel horrible." His voice sounded different over the phone now.

"I am so sorry I made you go out with me. This sucks."

"No, I'm glad I went." His voice was just a whisper. "Don't blame yourself, this isn't your fault."

"You'll get better soon," I promised. "I've just woken up fine, maybe you just need to sleep some more. Are you resting?"

"You were sick?" He asked.

"I was, I'm all better now." I told him cheerily.

"That's good." His voice was dead, almost like he didn't want to talk to me. "I don't think I have the same thing you did." I could hardly hear him speak.

"You don't have the stomach flu?" I asked, confused.

"No. This is something else."

"What's wrong with you?"

"Everything hurts." I could hear his pain.

"Maybe you better get back to bed. I'll bring you something." The urge to help him was almost overwhelming. I needed to get to him. "I've already been exposed to whatever it is that you have, let me help." I reasoned. Let me look after you the way you have me, I wished silently.

I heard Billy call for him somewhere in the background.

"I have to go Bella. Don't visit. You can't come here." His tone caused the air to leave my lungs in a rush, I didn't have a chance to say anything before the line disconnected, and even if I had been able to think of something, I couldn't have voiced it. There was a distinct finality in his tone that had the fissures of my heart split open.

After I forced down breakfast, I reminded myself that Jake was just sick and simply didn't want me fussing over him. That had to be all it was.