AU: Wow, I can't believe this account still works! I'm not sure if there are still people who read Naruto fanfiction, but to those who stumble upon this fic, I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Naruto not mine.

Sasuke bristled under the Hokage's appraising gaze. He had only come in to hand over the report for his latest mission, but Tsunade stopped him just as he was about to leave.

"Something on my face?" He inquired brusquely.

He was surprised when the Hokage answered his question with another. "How old are you, Sasuke?"

What is this about now? "Twenty-three, Hokage-sama."

"Ah. Twenty-three." Tsunade rolled the syllables on her tongue, savored the words. He didn't like where this was going - he knew the Hokage was sneaky. Sneaky! "Twenty-three. A good marrying age for a shinobi, don't you think?"

Sasuke went numb all over. He couldn't feel his heart pumping nor his brain working. He managed to grunt, "Hn."

Tsunade took this as assent and continued. "Surely you already must have thoughts of marriage, Sasuke? After all, isn't continuing your bloodline important to you?"

Sasuke will not, will not tell her that it had been occupying his mind lately. "It doesn't matter to me," he lied.

She leaned back on her seat, serene. "So you deny saying at 7.42pm at Ichiraku Ramen last Tuesday, and I quote, 'Dobe, if it's your fault that I won't be able to produce any heirs, I will pull out all your toenails one by one and make you eat them.' This is in reponse to Naruto saying, and I quote again, 'Teme, I'll kick you where the sun doesn't shine.' Nice touch with the toenails, by the way," she added approvingly. "You don't mind if I use that, do you?"

"I deny it," he replied flatly.

"You can't get away from seventeen witnesses, Sasuke. Soooo," she pulled out her top drawer and pushed a list of names towards him. Tsunade smiled widely. "These are all the eligible women in Konoha, including yours truly." She winked at him. "Pick a girl. Any girl."

Old baka! Trying to arrange a marriage for him! Uchiha Sasuke, of all people! He fumed. He could get any girl he wanted, if he chose. He wanted to get married and have children someday, but he didn't need Tsunade's help. Most of all, he wanted to do it how he wanted it, when he wanted it. The interfering old hag had no say in his private life at all. He pushed the paper back towards her."I refuse, Hokage-sama. Good day." He bowed stiffly and turned to leave.

"Well then, Sasuke, how does a teaching position at the Academy sound?" Tsunade asked cheerfully. "Our school could always use new instructors, especially for the five-year-old class."

"Give me that," he snapped, quickly snatching up the list. He had no doubt that Tsunade would follow through with her threat.

Tsunade smirked. "I'm glad we see eye-to-eye about this."

He ignored her, haphazardly scanning the names on the list. He was unable to concentrate, barely registering the names and his impressions before moving to the next one. Inuzuka Hana. Too loud and too many dogs. Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino, NOT going to go there. Mitarashi Anko. Too bossy and too loud. TenTen? Maybe. He didn't know a lot about her, and wasn't she going out with Hyuuga Neji anyway? He wasn't suicidal enough to mess that up. Tsunade... He passed that name with a shudder. Hyuuga Hanabi, don't know her, Hyuuga Hinata, don't know her either - wait. Hyuuga Hinata. Maybe. He knew her best from her chuunin exam when her cousin tried to kill her and had to be held back by four jounin. Since the end of the war, they had had exactly one mission together, and he remembered he hadn't been irritated by her. Her bloodline limit was an added bonus.

Should he?

Could he?

He saw himself standing helpless in front of screaming five-year-olds tugging on his legs and most likely jabbing at each other in the ribs with practice kunai. He shuddered - it was not a pretty picture. But what about Hyuuga Hinata? He felt a twinge of guilt at the thought of her being trapped in a loveless marriage. But the screaming rose again in his ears, and this time he wasn't sure if it was the five-year-olds or if it was himself, discovering a house full of dead bodies.

He should.

He could try.

I'm sorry, Hyuuga Hinata, he thought with an inward wince. He may be a bastard, but Tsunade was even more of a bastard.

He all but shoved the paper in her face, with his finger indicating the Hyuuga heiress's name.

"Hmm. Great choice, Sasuke," Tsunade complimented brightly. "And not entirely unexpected."

Sasuke shoved his hand in his pockets. "She will refuse."

The Hokage looked up at him with twinkling eyes. "If she refuses, then you should go ahead and prepare your lesson plan." Evil baka! "Shizune!" Tsunade shouted.

The Hokage's black-haired assistant entered the office, her eyes lively with interest as she contemplated the two.

"Shizune, bring Hinata to me," Tsunade commanded. Sasuke rolled his eyes as she tried to suppress her smile.

Shizune's face broke into a wide smile as she heard this. She nodded quickly, still beaming, as she left.

"Now, let's get this out of the way," Tsunade came around and sat on her desk. She held out the marriage contract and a kunai. There were two dotted lines at the bottom, for blood signatures. He glared at her. Tsunade already had this in her drawer?! Had she been planning this? How many copies of marriage contracts were there in her desk?He was impressed that she was prepared and thoroughly spooked at the same time. Should I expect a spate of arranged marriages before long?

She leaned towards him, and without warning, let out an ear-splitting yell directly in his left ear.

He stepped back in surprise. "What the fuck was that for?" He asked angrily. His ear was still ringing.

"Oh, that? I was just giving you a taste of what you're in for at the Academy." She winked at him.

"How many more of us are you going to force to marry?" He asked accusingly.

Tsunade's raised her eyebrows. "Sasuke-chan! You wound me." She rolled her eyes dramatically. "I'm giving YOU a chance, aren't I?"

Sasuke, with a horrible feeling that he was being manipulated, took the kunai and cut his thumb. He pressed his thumb above the left dotted line. There's no going back. The action made him feel like he had deliberately walked to his doom.

"Sit down, Sasuke," she offered pleasantly, rolling up the contract and putting it up her sleeve. He scowled at her and sat, crossing his arms. He made no attempt to talk, and neither did Tsunade. Could he steal the scroll from her? He shook his head. Too risky, and not worth the trouble. Tsunade did not become Hokage for nothing, and he had no wish to be labeled a criminal again.

Where the hell is Hyuuga Hinata? Let's get this over with. Shizune can't track someone for shit. They should've gotten Inuzuka or Aburame to do the job. The seconds ticked by, slow and agonizing. He was torn whether or not he wanted the Hyuuga to accept or refuse. Should he have a wife and a sham marriage, or a job that would send him to the madhouse? Neither option was in his favor. Maybe he could treat the teaching job as training, training for when he would become a father.

A father... He mused. He would be a father if Hinata accepted and they both did their job. Would their child have Sharingan, Byakugan, or both? What if it was a mutation, or the child had different eyes altogether? What would he be like as a father? Sasuke thought about his own father. A stern man. A man with high standards. Near the end, he had been granted his father's attention. He remembered walking around, feeling like he could burst from the happiness. Where was that child? Gone, he answered himself. And he's never coming back.

Just then, the door opened and Shizune ushered in Hyuuga Hinata, who looked tense.

"WHAT THE HELL TOOK SO LONG?" Tsunade yelled and slammed her hands on the desk, standing up.

Sasuke smirked inwardly. So Tsunade had been feeling the pressure. He saw Hinata cringe, but stepped forward and bowed.

"I apologize, Hokage-sama," she said, but did not offer any explanation.

"It's only been five minutes, Lady Tsunade," Shizune replied dryly.

"Very well, Shizune, you may leave." The Hokage turned to Hinata and smiled. "Ah, Hinata! Very good. You're just the person I wanted to see. I'd like to speak to you about a very important matter, one integral to the village's continuing success. Want some sake?"

Bipolar old hag. Sasuke rolled his eyes. One minute she's yelling, and the next, she's buttering up Hinata. Hinata looked over at him briefly, alarm in her pale eyes, and turned back to the Hokage. "I would have to decline the sake, Hokage-sama. To what do I owe the... pleasure?"

Tsunade sat back on the edge of her desk, folded her hands in her lap. "Hinata," she began in a grave voice, "we have suffered great losses after the war. Now that we have achieved a tenuous peace, I feel justified to say that our focus should be on rebuilding the village. Don't you agree?"

Hinata nodded. Sasuke noted that she had clutched the hem of her jacket tighter.

"Now, I have great faith in the young people of Konoha. All of you have proved to be worthy shinobi, and I'm sure that when the next Hokage takes up office, he will find himself surrounded by excellent nin. However, there is always the one duty that most shinobi overlook. Do you know what that is?"

Hinata shook her head.

The Hokage looked over at him. "How about you, Sasuke? Any ideas?" She tried to suppress a grin. "Surely you must have some ideas. It might have even... crossed your mind."

He was not going to play her game. "No idea."

She clicked her tongue. "Sometimes, you kids have extraordinarily thick skulls. I said kids, but you're actually adults now, hmm? You're capable of anything. And if we want the village to move forward, we must necessarily turn to you."

Sasuke tensed. Long did it take for the Hokage to make her point, they were getting into it now.

"We need you to help repopulate the village."