Hey, all! NC here with big news (for me, at least): I'M FINALLY ON FANFIC!!! After all these years of reading oodles of great Fanfics on here, I FINALLY got myself an account! YIPPEE!!! I haven't had the chance (or the inspiration) to write any fanfictions for a LONG time (I may put up some of my older fics later), but after visiting with my buddy geniecat2 for four days, I felt the urge to write my first BLEACH Fanfic!! After using a couple of days to 'convert' her to Bleach, she helped me come up with perhaps my best idea yet: at 3:00 in the morning, no less!! O_o ARIGATOU, KAYLA-CHAN (geniecat2)!! I miss you already! *sends friend cyber-hug* Hope you all enjoy it, but first, here's our favorite captain with an important message!
Byakuya: *reading from script* Ahem. Nuttycookie does not own BLEACH or any of the characters contained within this fic. They are all the property of Tite Kubo and his brilliant mind...*looks up* Brilliant? If he's so brilliant, then why did—
NC: Kuchiki-san…
Byakuya: *sighs* Fine. *goes back to reading script* Nuttycookie does not own any possible references that may 'pop up' from other anime, TV shows, whatever. *glances at authoress suspiciously* However, nuttycookie does, in fact, own the plotline of this fic, and is completely responsible for any harm done to the readers or characters. *grins evilly* Does that mean—
NC: NO!!
Byakuya: Aww. *clears throat* Nuttycookie would like to thank her friend Kayla, aka geniecat2, for providing ideas and quotes for the following fic. *puts down script* Can I go now?
NC: *shrugs* Sure. Arigatou, Taichou! *waves* Just be careful: Kayla-chan might be looking for you…
Byakuya: *looks around nervously* Is that a bad thing?
NC: Not unless you consider a brand-new IchiRuki and Byakuya fangirl to be dangerous.
Byakuya: …
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The room was quiet and dark, save for the soft ticking of the clock on the wall and the glimmer of light that reflected off of the amber eyes of a certain orange-headed Shinigami Substitute. He sighed contentedly as he gazed down at the raven-and-cream-colored bundle that was tucked down into his chest—his bride, the notably smaller Shinigami from the noble house of Kuchiki. Ichigo ruffled Rukia's hair with his hand, and she snuggled closer. He closed his eyes with a wide grin across his face and started to doze…
Beep beep beep
Ichigo's eyelids flew open and Rukia stiffened beside him.
Beep beep beep
For the all-too-familiar chirp of a Soul Pager to go off in the middle of the night—especially this night, to boot—sent a wave of dread through the two death gods.
"Stay here, Rukia," Ichigo ordered, slipping out from under the covers. "I'll go see what's going on."
"Alright." The tiny Shinigami's eyes flitted back and forth in alarm as she watched her partner dart across the room and open the door to his closet. Was it a Hollow? An order? He rummaged through his backpack as quickly as his hands and half-awake mind would allow until he pulled out the device.
"Hmm?" He looked down at the display in confusion as it continued to beep away. It wasn't a Hollow alert, or an order from Soul Society. All that the tiny LCD screen said was 'PRIVATE NAME, PRIVATE NUMBER'. He flipped open the phone, his head tilted. "Hello?"
"Ichigo." The voice was deep. Threatening. Familiar. "What are you doing?"
The spiky-headed boy glanced at his bride and stepped into the closet, closing the door behind him. "Byakuya," he moaned, "It's 10:30 at night. What do you think?"
"I said, what are you doing, Ichigo?"
"Nothing," Ichigo replied with a yawn.
Silence.
"I asked you a question, Kurosaki-san."
Ichigo knew he was in trouble when he heard that. "Uh, I wassleeping," he answered hesitantly.
Another pause. His voice deepened. "Is Rukia with you?"
Ichigo blinked. "Yeah, of course she is."
"What is she doing?"
Ichigo growled, growing more irritated with the Squad Six Captain by the moment. "She was sleeping, until you interrupted us with this stupid phone call!" he hissed into the phone.
Pause. "Ichigo." Pause. "Don't you dare touch my sister. Understand?"
A bead of sweat slid down Ichigo's forehead. "Um, sure," he answered off-handedly.
Silence. "Do." Pause. "You." Pause. "Understand?"
The young deathberry swallowed thickly, more nervous than even if Senbonzakura itself was being held to his throat. "Yes, sir. I understand."
Pause. "Good."
Click.
Ichigo snapped the phone shut, feeling as though he was in a daze. He stumbled out the closet to find Rukia still sitting up, looking frightened.
"What's wrong?" she asked, her indigo eyes wide.
"Nothing." He slid back under the sheets, hesitating before putting his arm around Rukia's waist.
She blinked up at him in confusion. "Then why are you so upset?"
Ichigo shook his head. "Er, it was just some stupid prank caller. They can be very irritating, you know."
Rukia didn't look completely satisfied by his answer, but nonetheless she proceeded to curl up next to her nakama, tucking her head under his chin. "Alright," she sighed. "I still don't like seeing you so tense, you know." She laughed quietly, and they both settled back down. Half an hour later, sleep was nearly upon them when—
Beep beep beep
Ichigo opened one eyelid.
Beep beep beep
Rukia shifted.
Beep beep beep
Ichigo sighed, stepped over to the closet, picked up the Soul Pager, and saw yet again, 'PRIVATE NAME, PRIVATE NUMBER'. He growled, pressing the 'MUTE' button on the side, and crawled back into bed.
Ten minutes later—
Beep beep beep
Ichigo practically tossed the sheets off of himself and leaped out of bed. He grabbed the annoying little device, throwing inaudible curses at the Captain who seemed to have little-to-no respect for their tired minds and bodies.
Beep beep beep
Ichigo promptly threw the pager down onto the floor and proceeded to step on it with all the vehemence one would expect Rukia to give to an unfortunate Kon.
Beep beep beep
Rukia just lay in bed, blinking tiredly and with much confusion as Ichigo piled as many blankets, quilts, and pillows that he could muster on top of the pager. He closed the closet door much louder than necessary and flung himself back into bed.
At precisely 12:01, ever so faintly, there was once again, the oh-so-familiar
Beep beep beep
of that stupid Soul Pager. Ichigo's eye twitched.
Beep beep beep
Twitch twitch.
Beep beep beep
Grr…
Rukia didn't notice—the lucky girl had her ears covered by blankets and her head buried into a very irritated Ichigo. Maybe irritated isn't the right word; annoyed? Ticked? Livid?
You betcha.
At last the blasted beeping subsided. For now. But then…
12:22.
12:38.
12:47.
12:53.
1:06.
After that, Ichigo, now taking Rukia's idea of covering her ears with blankets, was able to successfully ignore the beeping torture device that screamed at him through his closet door.
It was 6:49 in the morning when they rolled out of bed the next day. While Rukia changed in the bathroom, Ichigo opened his closet, only to have a mountain of the aforementioned blankets, quilts, and pillows come down in a gigantic avalanche on top of him. After several minutes of struggling, he managed to find that stupid Soul Pager, hidden beneath a pink fleece blanket with little bunnies on it. He flipped it open, and his eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.
'52 NEW MESSAGES'
He sighed and held the little device to his ear.
'How can one man leave so many stinkin' voicemails? These can't all be from Byakuya, right?'
The most certainly could, and they most certainly were.
"Ichigo," the dark voice growled through the speaker, "Why aren't you answering? Pick up the phone."
Several messages later…
"Ichigo. What are you doing? Pick up your stupid phone!"
And then…
"Ichigo! You'd better not be doing anything to my Rukia-san, you hear me? Why the hell aren't you answering?"
"Ichigo! You stupid excuse for a Shinigami, answer me already! I'm going to kill you for this…"
And finally:
"KUROSAKI!! ANSWER YOUR FREAKIN' PHONE, YOU MORON!!! IF YOU DON'T PICK UP RIGHT NOW, I'M GONNA—"
He never heard the rest—23 messages was more than enough punishment for the poor Substitute, all of which he listened to while attempting to change into his school uniform, down a bowl of cereal, listen to Asano and Mizuiro yell at him to hurry up from outside, and take an occasional glance at Rukia, who was watching him warily.
Ichigo snapped the phone shut as they walked out the door. "Stupid prank-caller," he muttered, just loud enough for Rukia to hear. "I think he finds harassing me to be an enjoyable pastime."
Rukia glanced up at him and took his hand in hers. "I'm sorry to hear that," she said gently. "But don't let it get to you—like you said, it's just a stupid prank caller. Nothing serious, right?" She smiled.
Ichigo faked a smile back, but it came out more like a grimace. "Right." He tentatively put an arm around his nakama's waist, ignoring the noisy exclamations sent his way by a certain Keigo Asano.
'I suppose the best things in life aren't free,' he mused as they walked, 'And I suppose this is nothing to be surprised by. After all, he is the in-law from hell. Literally.'
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So, what did ya think? Been a while since I've written any fanfics, so please forgive me if I'm rusty. Please also forgive any mushiness: I'm a Grade AAA IchiRuki nutcase!! ^_^ Review, please!! Constructive criticism is welcome, but please, no flaming, ok? All the papers on my desk might catch fire if you do that. ;) Thanks for reading!! Sayonara!