Hi Guys! I have been wanting to start writing a SAMCRO fic for a while now but nothing really stuck with me...Saved on my computer is the begining to liek 12 different SAMCRO stories, I am from Australia and havent managed to get my hands on season 4 as yet but should get it from a friend soon, i miss my SOA fix.

Reviews make me happy and encourage me to write...next chapter may be next week i have Uni Exams n shit that i have to study for...yeah doubt thats gonna happen:P so on with Katrina Winstons story!

The Juice Box and Kit-Kat

"I can't do this anymore Stephen!" I shout at my fiancée "SAMCRO is my family, I have gone without them for the past few years! I missed my sister-in-laws funeral! I missed her funeral you bastard." I yelled at him not before I headed upstairs to where my bag had been packed for a few weeks. Stephen my fiancée and I hadn't been getting along lately, it was a matter of time before I left, and him keeping Donnas death from me was the last straw.

I could hear his heavy footsteps following me. "They are bad news Katrina. I was protecting you from them." He said as I brushed past him with bags in hand, his reached out and grabbed hold of my wrist stopping me in my tracks. "Baby where do you think you are going?"

"Don't 'baby' me Stephen. I am 28 years old and have been making me own decisions for the last 6 years. I am going home Stephen, home to where my brother, father, nieces and nephews are. I have missed too much, you have kept too much from me. I didn't know my brother's wife died, she is dead Stephen, dead!" I said pulling my wrist away from him and heading towards my truck.

The drive to Charming didn't take too long but I was nervous to go back home, how would they react, would Juice be there. It had been almost 6 years since I left Charming California and with that was my Juice, he was a prospect at the time and my old man. I left on bad terms, Opie and I were arguing about my relationship and Piney agreed with him, this is what set me off last time. I missed Juice every day and was hoping that he could forgive me somehow.

I passed the "Welcome to Charming" sign a little after 9pm, it was a Tuesday night so I assumed the clubhouse would be empty, I wasn't going to face that demon today so I checked into the only motel in Charming. I was seriously tired after driving and working all day at the Accounting firm. The bed was uncomfortable but was better than sleeping in my car.

Waking up I felt the dread return after a shit night sleep, it was time to face the music. Namely my family, I knew I had a niece and a nephew but had yet to meet them, I wouldn't know what to say to my brother, my father or even Gemma who had been more of a mother to me than Mary every had. I was pulled out of my thoughts by a knocking on the door. Making sure the chain was on, I opened the door only to see a SAMCRO cut and one Jax Teller standing at my door.

"I thought it was you Kat, why are you here, you have done enough damage over the years." Jax said.

I closed the door and unlatched the chain before reopening it and allowing Jax to enter. He was still the blonde haired, blue eyes, cocky bastard that he was when I left but now he sported the VP patch. "I had to come home Jax, when I found out I had to come, I...I...I have missed out on so much, I don't know what to say." Is all I could say sitting down on my bed the tears streaming down my face.

"Where is Stephen?" he asked looking around the room, noticing the void of male clothing spilling out of my suitcase.

"He is gone, out of my life. He kept all this shit from me Jax, if I had known I would have been home so many years ago."

"You here to stay? Because none of us could deal with you just bailing again your pops and Ope were shattered when you left and let's not mention Juice." He sat next to me on the bed and took my hands in his, "please stay Katrina everybody has missed you. It may take some convincing but give it time, they should all come around."

"How do I fix this Jax? When I left everything was in down the shitter and now when I come back it's even worse. I missed my sister-in-laws funeral because my ex-fiancée kept it from me. They all hate me, they have every right to as well." I sobbed, he just pulled me closer.

"You need to see Piney and Ope, you have the most to make up with those two. I know Opes not in town at the moment, he had to clear his head out on the road. Mary is looking after Kenny and Ellie so I would avoid her for the time being. Piney should be at the clubhouse or up at the cabin trying to figure things out. I want this to be fixed between you all, the Winston's need to be reunited."

"I can't see Mary not after everything she did when we were little. I want to talk to Pop before Ope gets back , can I do this Jax? How will they ever forgive me." I said standing up and walking across the room.

"Everybody is fucking pissed off Kat, and don't think that I am not. Believe me when I saw your truck I wanted to kill you, but then Opie would kill me and I don't want to die." He chuckled.

"Just let me get ready and then I will go face Pop, this shit has gone on for too long. I need my family Jax, and Stephen was keeping me away from them." I said getting up and grabbing my clothes before getting into the shower. Getting out I threw on my favourite pair of skinny jeans and a white tank top paired with my cropped leather jacket and a pair of ballet flats. My mousey brown hair that went just below my shoulders was pulled back into a high pony tail.

"Come on squirt, let's go." Jax said walking towards his bike as I exited the bathroom.

"I am not a squirt anymore! I am almost 5'11 that's tall!" I shouted after him. Getting in my car the butterflies returned, how would Pop react could he ever forgive me?

The drive to Teller-Morrow Automotives was a familiar one, nothing had changed the bikes were still lined up on the right hand side of the lot and the three bays were all open and there was a hub of activity next to the boxing ring where there was someone training.

I parked the car in a spot close to the club house so I could make a quick getaway if one was needed. Walking into the club house it was exactly the same as it was 6 years ago, the same smell of old pussy, weed and booze assaulted my nostrils. It made me remember all the things that happened in this room over the years, kissing Juice, him giving me his crow...that I have since gotten covered up...Opie telling me that Donna was pregnant every worthwhile memory happened in here. Looking up to the bar it was empty accept for one old man sitting down the end by himself, he had a oxygen tank strapped across his chest and his patch was denim and not leather that most people had. It was Pop drinking his usual bottle of tequila by himself smoking a joint.

It was now or never I hesitantly started walking over to where Piney was sitting, he must have heard something approach him because he slowly turned around and faced me a look of shock then anger washed over his face. "Hi Pop." I said quietly.

"Kat? Is that you?" he asked quietly. I nodded and ran into his arms pulling him into a bone crushing hug, the smell of his cut and everything made the tears that had been threatening to fall start to fall, "what the hell are you doing here? Last I heard you had a Fiancé and were living your dream?" he rasped at me pulling me out of his embrace so he could take a good look at me.

"He was a douche bag, I know you warned me about him and I didn't listen and I probably should have but I needed to come home pops. I missed too much of my family and the happenings of SAMCRO. I am so sorry for just bailing and running away when you all needed me but at the time I thought it was the best thing for me to have done. I know now that it was a stupid and foolish decision." I said looking at Piney as he analysed every word of my fairly shitty explanation.

"I understand why you did it Kat, but you missed out on so much in this family. You have never met Kenny or Ellie, you barely saw Donna and Opie get married before you went on your merry way Katrina. But so much shit has happened, how are you going to tell everybody that your back? How will Juicy-boy react, he was shattered when you left, fucked anything with a pussy, drank himself into a coma a few times."

"I'm so sorry Pop, please forgive me I was stupid." I said pulling him into a hug so I could once again smell the comforting smell of home.

"You are forgiven darling, but never do something so stupid again you got it?" he said in a stern voice. He kissed me on the head and kept hugging me when the door to the clubhouse opened and in walked the person I was dreading most...my Juice.

"Katrina why are you back? Finally felt guilty about walking away from me? From us?" he almost yelled at me.

"Juicy please let me explain I-"

"Explain what Kat how you decided one day to fucking bail on me? Chose some 9 – 5 douche bag instead of your old man? I was your old man Kat, does that mean nothing to you?...don't answer that one cause I already know the answer." He said storming towards his dorm.

I sat down on a stool next to Piney and he just handed me the beer that was sitting next to him. "Thanks Pops. What am I going to do about Juice? I fucked up didn't I?"

"Yeah you did baby girl, you need to decide if you want Juice back." He said kissing me on the head once more before walking out towards the garage.

I knew that I had to talk to him. He deserved an explanation, I mean I have the tat I am supposed to be his old lady and stick by him through hard times and good. I stood up from the stool and wobbled just a little, I started to slowly walk back towards the dorms. If things hadn't changed then he had the one third from the left. I approached slowly and finally knocked quietly. "Juan, please let me explain. There was so much more shit going on than I ever told you , please baby just open the door for me."

Slowly the door opened and I really looked at his face for the first time in years. He had aged a little since last time, his hair and tats looked the same, he still had a Kit-Kat inked on his inner bicep as I still had the juice box on my side. His face was angry "What do you want Kat?" he asked sternly.

"Please let me in so I can explain." I pleaded with him. After a few long seconds he moved away from the door leaving it open for me to enter.

"What do you want to tell me?" he said sitting in the chair next to the small desk.

"I need to apologise Juice, when I left there was so much shit going on in my life. I didn't know where I was headed and that scared the shit out of me." I stated walking over to him and taking his big rough hands in mine.

"Then you should have fucking told me and not flake out as soon as shit doesn't go your way. That's what I was here for Katrina. I was your fucking old man." He stated pulling his hand from mine.

"I know that baby and I am so sorry. It wasn't just the shit going on in the club, I was also going through some shit as well. I kept some things from you to protect you back then Juice." I said the tears welling up in my eyes.

"What was it Kat, you are supposed to tell me these things."

"I was so stupid back then, so young and just so scared, I am so sorry Juice, please forgive me." I kept babbling, I knew that when I told him I would probably lose forever.

"Just tell me Kat." He said softly.

"Remember how a few weeks before I left there was that party for you being patched in?" I asked. That party had been amazing, seeing Juice in his full patch was a beautiful sight. He had this smile that reached from ear to ear showing off his beautiful face.

"Yeah I do, what happened there?" he asked a level of concern in his voice.

"That night I got really sick, you must remember me leaving early?" I asked and he nodded solemnly, "driving back to Pops place I was ambushed by the Mayans, it was Alvarez's son who came after me. He forced me into the tray of the truck and he," I said the tears sliding down my cheeks silently, "he raped me Juice." I looked over to where Juice was sitting, he pulled me into his lap.

"Jesus Christ Kat, why didn't you tell anybody? I have to go tell Clay, Alvarez will pay for this." He said hugging me tight.

"No! Juice please you can't tell anybody about this, he...he said he would kill you Juice if you ever found out. That's the reason why I left all those years ago, I couldn't bear to keep this from you, I am damaged goods. You would have never wanted to be with me again if you found out." I said putting my head in the crook of his neck just remembering the smell that had been part of my life for so many years.

"Kat, I have to tell him, the club needs to know about this shit. We need to retaliate, the Mayans can't just get away with this shit."

"I am so sorry Juice, can you ever forgive me?" I asked the safe feeling of his arms soothed me.

"Don't think I ain't pissed off at you Kat, cause I really am. I don't know what to say, I still love you and would do anything to keep you safe but you fucked up Kat, and I don't know how long it will take to forgive you but I love you so much." He said standing up and heading towards the door.

I climbed into Juices bed letting his smell lull me into a restless sleep. I wondered what was going to come of my revelation, how would the club react, would there be another all out war with the Mayans.