~ I started writing this by September-ish… last year? Years ago? Not so sure anymore… It was awesome coincidence that one of the prompts in the ItaSaku festival back then was "Mythology", hehe.
~ Also, please don't overanalyze this fic (see MST3K Mantra or Bellisario's Maxim on TV Tropes)! it's supposed to be crack-ish. Just enjoy. ;D
~ I credit rabidbehemoth for her inputs and edits! Marvelous thanks as always! :D
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"Try the dumplings, Sakura-chan!"
Sakura smiled in delight as her teammate's mother enthusiastically handed her a plate full of potstickers. Mikoto-san was nice, and it reminded the girl of her own mother, albeit more 'mothering'.
The woman also blatantly stared at her for a full minute while she picked and chewed a dumpling.
Beside Sakura, Sasuke twitched, decidedly uncomfortable at being placed smack dab between his mother and her stare's target. Knowing his mother and her latest craze for the last eight months…
"You're so cute!" Mikoto inevitably cooed, ignoring her son's sigh. "I hope that my baby is as cute as you!" She patted her round belly lovingly.
"Mom, you're embarrassing me," her son finally grumbled, cheeks nearly matching his teammate's hair color. At the sight of his blush, the 'Terrible Duo' across the table broke into grins.
"Oh come on, Sasuke-chan, " one of the half of the duo, his damnable cousin, Shisui, teased, "you don't need any help in that department."
"No thanks to you!" Sasuke glared hotly at the two pranksters opposite the table. More often than not, he was dragged through a lot of embarrassing situations because of Shisui and his companion. If he wasn't there to reel them in, the two would've been in a lot of trouble.
"Yeah, Sasuke-te—" Naruto, the main generator of the pranks, broke at the sharp look the bastard's father gave him. Fugaku-oji never liked it when their sons — including the imaginary one — get insulted, so he just grinned sheepishly. He opened his mouth, but a strong grip at his cheeks prevented any witty insult to come out.
"You're so cuuuute!" Mikoto squealed, pinching the boy's whiskered cheeks. She pulled the skin between her fingers wide, making Naruto wonder if this was minor punishment for name-calling her son on a regular basis.
"How can that be cute?" Sakura muttered in disgust when the 'cute' boy tried shoveling food while his cheeks were being pinched. If he wasn't the Hokage's son, the girl would've punched him by now.
Trying (and failing) to hide his smirk behind his chopsticks, Sasuke sent a look of victory to his rival. Not only was he experiencing the, as Shisui aptly named, 'Smothering Mothering' he and his cousin had endured for months, but the aforementioned cousin was also surreptitiously stealing the idiot's food under his nose.
In the midst of the crazy, Uchiha Fugaku sat serenely at the head of the table, used to the antics. Minato and his brood often ate with them due to their wives' friendship, and the men found themselves developing a similar sort of kinship over the years. Like Minato, Fugaku loved his own wife very dearly, despite the monumental load of despair they often brought. Well, Mikoto was understandably upset (to put it mildly) with his hand with the… issue with Itachi, but compared to Minato, who married Kushina of all people…
Fugaku eyed his friends' child as the boy managed to slurp a gallon of ramen in one minute. He was well on his way to surpass Kushina's hijinks on and off the table, added with the unfortunate childish abandon of defying dinner etiquette, too. He had continuously seen Minato and Kushina make efforts to school their child to behave at the table, but as soon as Naruto was out of his parent's sights, he would always revert to his antics.
Regardless of the surety of scolding, Naruto ate on happily, quite aware that the Uchiha family wasn't too inclined towards food like the Akimichi. And at home, he would have to squabble with his little sister for the food, so it was always a nice guarantee to get his uncontested fill whenever he was at the bastard's place. Besides, he was doing them a favor; his mom once said that accepting a host's generosity was a sign of gratefulness.
But all good things have to come to an end, because as usual, the bastard's grumpy dad would halt his essential nourishment.
"That's enough," the Uchiha patriarch commanded, and Naruto grudgingly obeyed. If there was one thing the family would fight for, it was for their "son", despite the mocking and pitiful looks they received for it. "Leave some for Itachi."
Sakura perked up. Yesterday, when Obitoi-sensei asked them to introduce themselves, Sasuke intensely declared that his dream was "to show Itachi to everybody". The resulting resigned expressions on her sensei and other teammate's faces peaked her interest. Was it the same myth that her grandmother told her about? Obito-sensei had unfortunately moved the question to Naruto quickly though, so Sakura didn't get a chance to ask questions.
Until now. "Who's Itachi?"
A blush formed on her cheeks when everybody fell quiet and turned towards her, yet Sakura held her gaze resolutely. The mystery nagged at her, begging to be solved. Every time she would hear the words 'Uchiha' and 'Itachi', it would always be accompanied by either a snort or a shake of the head. Even her mother formed a very strange expression of a mixture of pity and humor when she had mentioned earlier that she was going to her teammate's house for a celebratory dinner to meet his parents, the Uchiha clan head and his wife.
The uncomfortable silence stretched. It seemed that nobody was willing to answer her, but on meeting the youngest Uchiha's gaze, she found herself wishing for a place to hide. Inferno burned in Sasuke's onyx eyes, a purpose ignited.
"He's my brother," the young Uchiha answered. And as if a dam had been burst, he stood from his place and proudly declared, "HE'S MY BROTHER!"
"And there he goes," Naruto muttered, licking his bowl clean. He looked forlornly at the remaining ramen, located on the empty place on the table that the bastard always insisted remain unoccupied.
At his side, Shisui firmly kept his blank expression. His station at the clan and respect for Mikoto-baa and Fugaku-sama prevented him from voicing his opinions, but like the rest of younger generation, he agreed with Naruto's sentiment. The rumors circulating about the Head Family made the clan severely question their leader, and if it wasn't for his hard work and the Fourth's interference, the clan would've fallen apart.
Another point for Fugaku-sama was Sasuke; if he hadn't been born, Fugaku-sama's place as clan head would've been challenged, and with the murmurs of dissent aired around at that time, a transfer of power to the more power-hungry council members would've led the clan to a less favorable path. Nowadays, the clan was fully accepted by the village, and despite the teasing and commiserating talk that always involved his clan, Shisui felt that it was preferable to loss of life.
Still, that didn't mean he wouldn't be happy if he heard something different, even once, in regards to people's reaction about hearing the issue with "Itachi". Shisui warily watched the girl's reaction.
For her part, Sakura was finding herself believing more and more of her grandparents' claims that the Uchiha clan was insane. The look in her normally cheerful Uchiha teammate bordered on outright lunacy. "O-oh, the one you mentioned y-yesterday?" she stuttered, subconsciously leaning away.
Sasuke saw the chance for his dream to come true: to convert one of the sheep, the disbelievers. For Konoha — and eventually, the world — to see the light. Before the clan elders banned the mention of the Myth, people always laughed at him whenever he told them of Itachi, but his teammate is young, still fresh. And she came from a civilian family; maybe she'll believe him more easily. He nodded frantically, smiling maniacally at the golden opportunity, but Naruto groaned before he could get another word in.
"He doesn't exist!" the orange idiot butted in. "I've been visitin' here for years!"
Sharingan activated from the pain of repeated betrayal of his so-called 'best-friend' at this subject, Sasuke swiveled to him. "Yes, he does! Just because you never saw him doesn't mean he doesn't!" he snarled.
Sakura didn't know that only her head was visible from underneath the table until her teammate teared off his searing gaze off her.
"Bastard, you gotta listen to me!" Naruto's agitation was so palpable that he forgot his caution not to call his best friend names in front of his parents. "If he cared for you like you say he does, then he would've popped in here by now to prove you right!"
"He doesn't care for anyone but his family, that's why he doesn't care to show up in front of others!"
"Yeah, letting the Uchiha clan be the laughingstock of the village sounds like he really cares for you."
"I don't care about them!"
"Well, I do! I'm your only non-Uchiha friend because of this ridiculous myth!"
By this point, both twelve year-olds have stood up and are shouting at each other, barely restrained from pouncing on the other. Fugaku-sama and his wife wore resigned expressions; it was a regular occurrence whenever the issue of Itachi was brought up that it came to the point that the most effective response was just to wait for inevitable battle in the backyard. It was simply too tiring to butt in without either children dragging in concerns about parentage or any other random insults that affected everyone in hearing.
Shisui blinked, noticing that the new guest, Sakura, was missing, but her wooden chair was trembling. He peered underneath the table and saw the missing girl, a death-grip on the chair's legs. Making a decision that would speed things to the inevitable, he grabbed the nearest kid and flickered to the yard. Before Naruto could comprehend anything, he was dropped into the koi pond.
A second later, Sasuke's chakra signature vanished from her side. Sakura snapped her head towards his seat; he was there, but now, he was just… not. Soon, a cry of "DAMN YOU SHISUI! YOU TOO, IDIOT!" echoed from outside. Halfway to the twilight zone, Sakura couldn't help but blink, and in the next moment, a knee was right in front of her.
"Are you alright, Sakura-chan?" Shisui asked kindly, kneeling by the hiding girl. She was new here, after all, so it'll take time for her to get used to shenanigans. Still, no reason not to help her through the trauma. "Sorry 'bout that. That's just their way of showing how much they care for each other." He offered a hand to her.
Sakura tentatively placed her hand in his. "O-oh, um, really?" The sound of "WHY YOU — BAAAAASTAAARD, MY MOM'S GONNA KILL ME!" displaced any romantic atmosphere her Inner conjured from being touched by a hot guy.
Shisui smiled, even as his co-prankster multiplied himself in the background. "Yep. It's a regular thing whenever the rumor gets mentioned, so we try to avoid whenever we can, but Sasuke…" he shrugged, knowing that the girl saw the crazed display of her teammate earlier.
Dark, bloodshot eyes and a manic smile flitted through Sakura's mind. She shivered, unconsciously grabbing and tightening her hold on Shisui's hand for security. "Why is he like that?" she asked, in fear and awe.
Shisui's smile strained. He didn't know that such a petite, cute girl could choke his hand dead. "B-because no one would believe him that Itachi exists…" he managed weakly.
One of the skills one has to develop when in ANBU was the mastery of showing emotions. As one of the best ANBU in his generation, Shisui indeed has that skill, and he was using it now in full to prevent any cries of pain from spilling forth. The Uchiha clan didn't need him to disgrace it anymore than the rumor already had.
Unfortunately, his efforts at masking his pain was for naught; the girl wouldn't have thought of him any less if he gave any indication of his discomfort, but alas, such was the "Do your clan proud" doctrine deeply ingrained in the loyal nin. Of course, he subtly tried to move his arm away or communicate his plight to the others via the Uchiha Eye Language (the practical language any Uchiha should learn to 'speak' with their eyeballs before progressing to the art of casting genjutsu) but the Uchiha head couple were busy eating to block out the noises from the backyard.
Unable to decipher the Uchiha equivalent of a distress signal that Shisui was practically 'shouting', Sakura misinterpreted his feeble voice and darting eyes as the notion that he was looking for eavesdroppers before he could share a great secret with her. Sakura leaned closer and tightened her hold, increasing every second in suspense (and pain).
"I-Itachi is the eldest son of M-Mikoto-sama and Fugaku-sama," Shisui said as he silently mourned for his hand, "but no one has ever seen h-him." A slight stream of chakra swelled to his arm from the girl, preventing any chakra-related methods to break himself free without severing his arm. Shisui couldn't help but raise a pained brow, impressed; she was doing it unconsciously, too.
"What do you mean?" Sakura furrowed her brows.
"No one has seen him," Shisui stressed, which was easy to do because he is stressed, "No one, except Mikoto-sama and Fugaku-sama, and maybe Naruto-kun's parents."
"Wait, no, wait, you mean that… no one has seen him, really seen him, but they have heard of him?" Sakura couldn't keep off the incredulity from her face. "But since there was no sighting, people began to assume that Mikoto-sama and Fugaku-sama are just… making him up?"
Shisui just nodded, face pale.
"But what about the others, the clan members? Itachi-san is the clan heir, so the clan would've been surely informed, right? And the leaders of the other clans, too." Sakura paused. "He is the clan heir, right?"
"A decade ago, yes, he was," a voice sighed. Sakura turned towards the Uchiha matriarch rubbing her stomach soothingly, obviously thinking of her babies, in and out of the womb.
Sakura opened her mouth to ask a question when someone declared something that that someone wouldn't declare if his mind was sound.
"I'M GONNA BE HOKAGE," cackled Sasuke, "AND I'M GOING TO PROVE ITACHI'S EXISTENCE!"
Eerily, his face abruptly blanked. Then he looked at his so-called 'best friend', and smirked.
"Believe it."
Sakura gaped. That was practically Naruto's dream, to surpass his father, and to threaten that…
Sure enough, a war cry from a multitude of orange shook the Uchiha compound, and the sight of the insane Uchiha was covered by waves of the garish color.
"They're so cute!" gushed a voice destroyed the state of morbid curiosity Sakura was in. The girl slowly turned and witnessed a clapping Mikoto trying to bounce on her seat. Wasn't she just depressed earlier?
"Hormones, Sakura-chan," a voice replied to her thoughts. Sakura swiveled to her left; there was Shisui, in the farthest corner of the room from her.
"Mikoto-sama's mood swings are wild," Shisui explained as he subtly cradled his broken arm. He smiled disarmingly, as a proper host should towards a particularly kind but unconsciously annoying visitor. "You'll get used to it."
"Okay…" Sakura slowly nodded, remembering bits of stories that Sasuke always told them of his mother's pregnancy. To steer the conversation back to the topic, she asked, "Can you please tell me more about the, um, 'myth'?"
"Oh, this tale requires dessert!" Mikoto chirped, apparently taking the mantle of a storyteller. "Fugaku, dear, please get the ice cream. Make my special." Her eyes were steel when she mentioned her husband's name, but they turned to quickly became mush by the sound of the 'special'.
Once her husband obediently ambled away — as he should, Mikoto thought — she began.