This is a story my sister "Anoreth" and I have been thinking up for a while as a response to what we think would happen if we ended up in the Death Note Universe. All meant in good fun and purely for entertainment.

Please Note: If you do not like self-inserts or Death Note, I would recommend reading no further. I do, however, hope you shall find this story mildly amusing at the very least, or maybe even entertaining. Please, no flaming, though constructive criticism and reviews are appreciated. Enjoy the show.

Prologue: It Begins

I lay with my eyes closed in the back of a moving vehicle. The soft motion and whirring of the mechanics lulled me. Suddenly I jolted awake, nearly falling out of my seat due to the odd, curled position I had previously been sleeping in. What in the name of all things holy was I doing sleeping in the back of a car; and a strange car at that. It looked to me like a limo. What was this, some sort of birthday surprise? Well as far as I knew, I most certainly did not have a birthday in July. Maybe that someone was a dunce who got their dates all wrong? Doubtful, seeing as I don't know any absolute morons who would go buying me a limo. (Remember that I am groggy as I think this, so the whole world seems stupid and irritating)

I peaked out the window and was startled by the sight of green hillsides rolling by my window. I was pretty sure the Nevada desert had no such picturesque fields. Not that I didn't find the view beautiful, it just wasn't Vegas. I was brought out of my thoughts by a strangely familiar old man. "Oh, so you're awake Miss Brianna? You've been asleep so long I was frightened you had fallen into a coma."

"Where am I? What is going on?" I mumbled to myself. He obviously heard because he answered.

"We are nearing Winchester now. I can understand why you would be foggy as to what's going on. What with the accident and all, poor thing."

Accident? What accident? And why was I in Winchester? How long had I been out to get from Las Vegas to Winchester in one snooze. No wonder he had thought I was in a coma.

With this in mind, I worked on calming myself down. It was probably some extremely late April Fools prank. I would just enjoy the scenery until we got wherever we were going and wait for the people to jump out and scream, "SURPRISE!" in that way people do. Then we stopped in front of a large gate. The chauffer got out of the car and opened the door for me. As I got out, I gaped at the monstrous edifice that stood in front of me. Now that was impressive. The elderly man from the car got out as well and led me through the gate and up a path to a gigantic Victorian building with a fancy-looking plaque in front. A fancy-looking plaque that I just so happened to not read.

We walked through a large courtyard after passing the wall with the plaque and came upon the front door. While he knocked on the door, I looked around the garden. There were toys everywhere, oddly enough. Some servant person came and opened the door and he led me inside. If the outside was awe-inspiring, the inside was even more so. An enormous, high-ceilinged room that I assumed to be a lobby of some sort greeted us. The floors were slightly scratched, but still highly polished marble and a large, ornate window lit up the entire room. The man looked over at me. "I just need to do some last minute paperwork," he said, "Just wait here while I send for a student to give you a tour of the school."

I simply nodded and sat on the bench he had motioned to as he walked into a small but tidy office. School huh? So this was all a plot by my parents to send me to some boarding school? Should've known. Soon, someone walked into the large room through an arch on the other end of the building. The person had short blonde hair and wore all black. I still wasn't sure what gender. Then the figure got closer, and I noticed how truly familiar it was. "WHAT THE MELLO?!" With that, I fell backwards off of the bench. Just before I hit the stone pillar behind, I thought one thing. Shit. And with that still on mind I fell into blackness.

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I found myself waking up in yet another strange position. My eyelids felt heavy and stuck together when I tried to open them, so I opened them as much as I could, peaking through my lashes at three blurry shapes in front of me. The shapes came into relative focus and the throbbing in my head diminished enough so that I could hear the words being exchanged. There was a look of utter panic on the blonde kid's face. Also looking down at me were a bored-looking boy with pale, curly hair that was very reminiscent of a sheep and a redheaded preteen wearing goggles with a lollipop sticking out of his mouth. "Oh great," the sheepy boy drawled, "You killed her."

"Did not!" came the shrill reply, and if my head had stopped hurting before, then it made absolutely no difference now. With that, Sheep-Boy made another deadpan retort, which I would have loved to hear but couldn't due to the aching in my skull. As the two proceeded to bicker in the background, I noticed the redhead slowly leaning in closer to my face until our noses were nearly touching. Slowly again, he lifted an arm with an extended finger. Before I could react in any way, he jabbed me in the rib with said finger.

"YOU'RE IT!!!!" he screamed and bounded away waving his arms above his head and giggling in a way that would have had Ryuk running for his, er, apples? The other two ended their verbal battle and watched as he went laughing down the long echoing hallway. I watched in amusement as a thought wiggled its way into my forethought. That really reminded me of someone, someone with brown hair and a severe case of ADD… "Aw crap!" I shouted, leaping to my feet in a less-than-fluid movement, "Kyra! Oh dear! Where's my sister? My sister? There was an accident? What type of accident? Was my sister there? Did she die? Oh! I'm gonna kill that Kyra when I find her!"

"What about Kira? Did he kill your parents?" The blonde guy (I was fairly sure) asked in a slightly concerned voice.

"Head trauma," Sheep-Boy commented, "It has to be, I did the research and she was an only child."

"No I'm not! I have an older sister, I swear I do! And I have to find her, it's my duty!"

"Well, if you do have an older sister, then she should be able to take care of herself, right?" Blondie offered comfortingly.

"NO! I mean, with our luck, she could be anywhere. For all I know, she's stranded in some back alley in…Tokyo!"

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Meanwhile, in a back alley in Tokyo…

There was a rustle in a dumpster. A person rolled in their sleep amongst the trash bags. Suddenly, a nose twitched and a nostril flared to take in a familiar smell. With eyes still closed, the girl crawled out of the dumpster and flopped over the side with a muffled whump. Arms outstretched zombie-style, she began to stagger out of the alley, moaning "Ssstiiickyy buuuuuuunnnnnnsssssz..."