Konnichiwa! So! Since I haven't been feeling the best as of late (I don't mean physically, I mean emotionally) I decided to write a depressive oneshot to vent my feelings! My friend told me that if you're sad then pour that sadness into a fanfiction, so I did!
This is not USUK. Sure some of you can interpret it that way but it's focusing on England and America's relationship as brothers and I'm warning those of you who have read my stuff before: this is not USUK.
France: It's not?
Me: No France, it's not.
France: Do I get Angleterre then?
Me: No. No one does. But the people reading this can have him! (Lil' disappointed myself)
England: I didn't agree to- *Runs from fangirls*
HAHAHA! Tanoshimu!
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. You'd all have stopped reading it by now if I had.
"So what you're saying is..."
"Yes... You have two days. When that's up, you'll have to leave and we can't guarantee your return."
"I see."
"Use the time wisely. Say your goodbyes and do anything that you've longed to do here."
"Thank you. I'll say my goodbyes now."
The blond took a deep breath in, and then out before opening the doors with a slightly nostalgic feeling to reveal seven other men inside, all personified forms of various countries. There was the stoic Germany, the earnest Japan, the psychotic Russia, the amorous France, the knowledgeable China, the... invisible one and the pasta-loving Italy. Some were standing, some were sitting but all looked concerned, even Italy who rarely showed any other emotion besides happiness looked concerned.
"Morning chaps." England smiled, though obviously faking it.
"Ja... Guten Tag." Germany coughed.
"So you've all heard then?" England asked.
They all nodded with grim looks upon their faces. Not many countries were really friendly with each other: most just engaged in wars together and had heated arguments with each other. Yet hearing that a fellow country would be leaving you soon always made one feel sad, no matter who it was.
"Zat our Angleterre is leaving? Of course we 'eard..." France sighed.
The flirty Frenchman approached England with eyes closed and a reminiscent sort of look upon his face. Then he put his arm around his former ally in a friendly sort of manner.
"To zink zat we'll never be able to see your gorgeous green eyes again, zat we'll never be blessed with your presence... It is tragic, non?" France explained.
As he went on, he sounded distant as if he was recalling the many memories and experiences that he had been through with England. England pushed his reassuring arm away, like the swatting of a fly.
"Lay off France." He mumbled.
But he did this half-heartedly. Usually he would have a lot more fight and energy in him, but today wasn't an appropriate time. France knew his place and for once stayed behind the line and refrained from resting his arm around his British friend again.
"Igirisu-san. Is this rearry goodbye forever?" Japan asked.
"It certainly seems that way doesn't it?" England asked.
"Aiya... Why do things like this have to happen-aru? I wish things could go back to the way they used to be. Before the fights on the beach, before the revolutions." China muttered.
Revolutions. That brought back some memories for England.
"It make me sad. You never got chance to become one with mother Russia..." Russia complained.
"Yes yes Russia. How I will miss that uplifting offer." England said sarcastically.
"M-maple..." A voice whispered.
"Ve~ England! Don't leave! I'll make you pasta so you don't have to go 'kay?" Italy whimpered.
"Vhen vill you learn zat pasta is not ze answer to ze vorld problems? But England, how vill you explain zis to-"
SLAM!
The door opened with a loud banging sound. Every head snapped their necks around to the source of the sound. At the very end of the room, where the large doors were, there in an open doorway stood none other than the extremely heroic-
"AMERICA!" He yelled.
Then he folded his arms and leaned against the doorframe with a happy child-like smile. He obviously couldn't sense the mood well, unlike Japan so he clearly didn't notice the melancholy atmosphere and carried on with his loud and obnoxious attitude.
"Yeah dudes! America's in the house! Whatcha doin' then? You surely aren't listening to that stuffy old man? Come on guys, lighten up!" America laughed.
Most countries turned away awkwardly since they were in fact listening to the 'stuffy old man' and weren't 'lightened up' because of his news. England however, was not turned away awkwardly and was in fact outraged by the harsh comments that America was making.
"I beg your pardon? You bloody wanker! How dare you refer to me as a stuffy old man?" England snapped.
"Dude, well excuuse me for pointin' out the obvious. You totally are a stuffy old man, no point denying it. Who's with me guys?"
No-one said anything, which America found a little weird so he tilted his head at his fellow countries. At this point, England stormed out, covering his face by throwing his messy blond hair forwards. America stared after him, beginning to realise that something was wrong.
"What's up with him?" America asked, shrugging his shoulders.
No-one wanted to tell him, and quite rightfully too. So America just watched as England left, almost looking upon the brink of tears but also fuming with rage.
Later...
"Draw a circle there's the Earth... I AM ENGLAND!"
His magical friends reluctantly applauded him with his huge smile upon his face. England was drunk and quite obviously so, but his friends continued to be happy with him, not wanting to upset him even more.
"So England..." Tinkerbell began. "Don't you think that you've had enough to drink?"
"NO!" England yelled. "Tomorrow's my last day so I don't have to worry about the hangover! I'll just laze around, drink tea and eat scones!"
"Aye sounds good..." Captain Hook mumbled. "But isn't there something better that you wanna do?"
"Why dont'cha spend it with your fellow countries?" Leprechaun asked.
"They're probably all busy." England sighed. "Especially America, all grown up and pretending to be responsible... I can't see him as a kid anymore, though he still is at heart."
"He is kind of grown up though, you have to admit that." Flying Mint Bunny whispered.
"NO! He isn't grown up! I'll prove it to you!" England snapped.
England's magical friends all stopped their smiles and happy feelings because when England was set on something, he really meant business and that was why the friends became suddenly concerned and worried for his and everyone else's safety.
The next morning...
England awoke to the sound of a loud, repetitive banging sound, meaning that someone was knocking at the door. The sound wasn't very loud and seemed quite distant yet also quite fierce at the same time. Deciding not to think about it, England headed down the stairs to answer the door, clutching his head in pain. Darn hangover, he swore that he's never drink again but obviously that wouldn't work out.
The Brit opened the door and-
WHACK!
He suddenly felt a sharp pain in his shins and in turn fell to the floor in pain. There he came face to face with his tiny attacker. It was a boy, a boy that looked extremely familiar to England and caused him to recall more than just a few incidents in his memory.
"A-America?" England whimpered.
It was America, but not the one that England knew today. He was smaller and looking around 7 years of age. The America before the independence, the one that England remembered so fondly.
"You limey fruitcake!" The young boy snapped. "Change me back now!"
"H-hang on... How do you know that this is my doing?" England asked defensively.
"Dude, it's got your name written all over it. You liked me much better before I declared independence, you were happiest when I was this size and you always used to say that seeing me made you feel young again which is probably what you'd want after I called you a stuffy old man!" America explained.
"For a little kid, you sure are smarter than you are as an adult."
"Don't call me a kid! I'm an independent, responsible nation so don't go referring to me as a kid!"
England stood up to properly look at the "independent, responsible nation" and saw otherwise. He was wearing the bomber jacket that he wore all the time, but it was far too big on him. Underneath he wore a dark green vest and a white shirt under that. Around his collar was a red ribbon and he wore slightly loose fitting grey trousers. England had seen him wear this often as a child and was surprised that he still had it.
"From where I stand, Mr responsible nation, I don't reckon that you could even tie your own shoelaces without some sort of struggle." England smirked.
"I do too know how to tie my shoelaces! Give the bunny some ears, make an X and... And..." America began.
"Even with an adult mentality, you still don't know how to tie your own shoelaces?"
America shifted uncomfortably on the spot, avoiding England's gaze. The older man found it cute however and smiled at his former brother. How he longed for that lovely brotherly relationship once more. The wild little boy, constantly happy and not insulting him like his older self would. England crouched down to America's level and forced the boy to look at him by turning his chin.
"I've missed this you know." England whispered. "You, like this. As a child. I really do wish that you were always like this. So could you... Stay with me like that? Just for the day. I'll change you back tomorrow."
England smiled warmly, hoping that the younger, softer America would accept his request. But of course, the young boy still had the mentality of the older America and so he said:
"Dude, no way. Drop dead England."
The gentle Brit couldn't mask the look of hurt on his face and America just kept up that cold scowl. Knowing how stubborn the boy could be, England simply got up and walked off, calling over his shoulder as he went.
"Right, that's what I thought. I'm sorry for even thinking it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a hangover to attend to."
His voice was shaky and there was a definite element of sadness in his voice. America dropped his harsh scowl upon realising that he'd hurt his former brother. Really, he didn't realise how much being brothers meant to him.
So, closing the door behind him, America headed inside not fully believing what he was doing...
-Upstairs-
"Idiot! Why did I even think that America would agree? He's a big boy now (despite his curewnt appearance) and he doesn't have time for stuffy old men like me. I'm a bloody idiot..."
England was talking to himself. Not his magical friends, just himself. He had often told himself that he wasn't mad just because he interacted with magical creatures but this completely threw his sanity out of the window. But he didn't care of course because he was very much upset. Put down by the words of the sweet young boy he had once raised.
"I suppose it's for the best really. With that 'adult' mind of his we'd probably fall out in no time and that would completely ruin everything. Ah, blast it all: this headache is really killing me. It hurts worse than the time that France walked in on me with that picture and to shut him up I had to-"
"Erm England? Can I come in? Or is this a bad time cuz it sure sounds like it..."
England snapped his head up in alarm: it was America. He thought that the boy had left, but unfortunately that wasn't the case. Still it was strange for him to ask permission to come in since usually he just burst straight in.
"Yes, yes. Do whatever you want." England snapped with an irritated tone.
The young boy entered the room carrying two small white pills in his one hand and a glass of water in the other. England was slightly surprised but quickly hid it. After all he was trying to be angry with the boy and not wanting to give off the impression that he was hurt or upset.
"I got ya some pills." America smiled. "Figured cuz of the hangover an' all. Let me tell ya, it wasn't easy being so small but your Hero totally managed it!"
"Mm. Thanks." England muttered, avoiding the boy's innocent gaze.
"...England, you always taught me to make eye contact when someone is talking to you." America said in a serious tone of voice.
England looked back at the small boy, keeping up the death glare as he did so. But as he looked into the innocent sparkling blue eyes his anger melted away and he felt himself being lured in by his cuteness.
"Yes... Sorry about that..." England apologised.
America beamed. "No problem! So what we gonna do today?"
"America."
"Huh?"
"Why are you doing this? You want to change back right?"
"Hmmm... Not at the moment. For now I just wanna spend the day with you!"
That smile reminded England so much of the old days- the days when they were still brothers, when America still cared for and respected him.
And England liked it. For the first time in centuries, he felt like a responsible big brother.
"Okay I'm done." England told the boy sitting at the table.
"Yay! I haven't had England's scones in such a long time! And I helped make 'em too! I can't wait to try them!" America beamed.
"I haven't had much time to make them lately so I hope they're still okay." England smiled.
"Mmm! They taste so good!"
"They're good enough for you then?"
"Are you kidding? Of course! They're England's scones after all!"
"I win!" America declared.
"Okay- wait what? Castles can't move that way!" England told him.
"Well castles don't generally move anyway so y'know." America beamed.
"No I most certainly did not know!" England snapped. "That's not how to win!"
"Aww c'mon England..." America whined. "Hey you had your chance though. You could have totally got me there but you didn't. Were you... Letting me win?"
"N-no! How ridiculous! As if I'd ever let you win!"
"Iggy let me win! Iggy let me win!"
"Sh-shut up!"
It was the end of the day now and England was expecting America to leave. But he didn't.
"It's pretty late and there are people like France out there, plus I'm tiny so I'm more of a target than usual. Mind if I stay here?" America explained.
"Sure. You know where the guest rooms are. Night." England smiled.
Then he headed off down the corridor, but stopped when he realised that America wasn't moving. He turned back to look at the boy, but then saw that he was shaking all over.
"America?" England asked.
"I-I suddenly feel cold and... This place looks really creepy..." America stuttered.
"America."
"Y-yeah?"
"Do you want to sleep in my bed?"
"O-okay..."
Later...
"England... This feels weird..." America admitted shakily.
"How so?" England asked, sighing slightly in a tired way.
"Well... It's not like we're brothers anymore so it feels weird for two guys to be in bed together." America explained.
That was what hit England. They weren't brothers. Sure he had been convinced that they were for the whole day but the fact still remained that they weren't. Hearing America say that was what hurt him the most though. He wanted to spend the whole day in a blissful and unaware state but obviously that wasn't possible.
Because they weren't brothers, and no matter how hard England desired it, things would never return to the way they once were. It was simply too much to ask.
"England? You there?" America asked.
England remained quiet, making America shrug his shoulders and turn over. "Guess you're asleep." He muttered.
Yes, sleep. Somehow England knew that not even that delightful thought could cheer him up...
The next morning...
America awoke slowly. He sat up in bed, throwing off the covers gently and rubbed his eyes sleepily. It was at this point that he realised he was only in his boxers, and that he was back to his normal age. Underneath him were the tattered remains of his young boy clothes. From what he could gather, he had been turned back into his normal state but in the process his clothes had ripped (but thankfully not his boxers). He turned back to England, smiling but then he realised that England wasn't there.
"E-England? Where are you dude?" America asked.
"Hateshinaki yo no urei no naka de. Naze ni hito wa arasou aru! Donna kizu mo itsuka ieru hi ga kuru aru, subete watashi ni tayoru yoroshi~ Ai yaa yaa…"
The familiar music filled the room, telling America that China was calling him. The notes danced softly and sadly across the room, making America feel slightly sad. However, he pushed this aside and picked up the phone.
"Yo! China, dude! You seen England anywhere?" America asked.
There was a silence, but eventually China broke it.
"...England-aru? He left this morning, didn't you know? He needed to leave and yesterday was his last day."
The words came crashing down upon America and his face suddenly fell. For once, he didn't know what to say. England was gone? Why hadn't he told him? Why had he-?
"I thought you had known-aru. After all, that's why he turned you into a kid again. So he could feel like a brother once more."
A brother. And America had told England that he wasn't his brother. What had he done?
"...Aiya? America, are you still there-aru?"
Without thinking, America hung up. England hadn't told him about it, yet he still continued on even after the bad things that America had said. Though it was understandable really, after all it was his last day and probably didn't want to ruin it with yelling. If only America had known that, if only America had followed England's lead and tried to be a little nicer. Maybe England would have had regrets about leaving, maybe he would have tried to stay?
But England had no regrets. He had done as he had intended and tied up all of the loose ends. All America was left with was the fond memories of his big brother. Yes, big brother. That was what England was, what he had been all along. How could he have been so blind not to realise that?
The phone rang again. China's ringtone filled the room as it had before. That slow melancholy tune truly did fit America's feelings and so he sat there, listening to it every time China rang him instead of answering the phone. He wanted to be alone right now, with memories of his big brother.
Hope you enjoyed it! Sorry I couldn't think of why England left. I had some trouble making an excuse for that so let's just say he's leaving for war. Yes the song was "Aiyaa four thousand years" and just in case you didn't know, this is what the lyrics mean:
In the grief of this unending world
Why is it that people fight, aru!
Regardless of the injury, the day it will heal will come, aru.
Leave everything to me!
Ai yaa yaa…
I thought it fit the scene, especially since it's a sad sort of song. Anyway thanks for reading and if you enjoyed this then check out my other fics! Personally I recommend As Long as We're Brothers but there's also Café Cosplay, Key to the Heart and Changing History as well. The rest are oneshots (except for When you wish upon an Angel which is a request fic for recurring reviewers).
Sayonara minna-san!
~Neko