Chapter One
Beginnings
The first time I saw her was at the market.
I was falling…
Falling…
Falling…
The darkness was warm, enveloping me; a womb almost. A peaceful womb where nothing could disturb me. I was safe here, it whispered with no voice, Nothing could harm me here. I took refuge in it, allowing my being to fall freely as I descended into another peaceful slumber.
Being?
My being?
Who am I?
What am I?
What are these things I have?
Arms? Legs? Feet? Fingers? Eyes?
What purpose do they serve me here?
Nothing.
I am nothing.
Nothing in the darkness.
It's warm here.
I think I'll fall asleep.
Nothing matters in a world where I am nothing.
I do not need these arms.
I do not need these legs.
I do not need these feet.
I do not need these fingers.
I do not need these eyes.
Yes, I think I'll fall asleep now.
I will become… Nothing.
Nothing in a world where there is nothing.
Yes...
That sounds...
Nice.
I am falling…
Falling…
Fall…ing…
Ice blue eyes.
They flashed in the darkness, a vivid shock of color in a world that had been only black for as long as I knew it.
At first, I thought it was the darkness merely playing tricks on me.
Was this to be my fate? An eternity of torture in the darkness? It had promised me refuge, hadn't it?
Something fluttered inside of me briefly; I chose to ignore it.
The darkness numbed the feeling away. I sighed, numbed and relieved, ready to sleep again.
Falling…
Falling…
Then I saw her face, flashing briefly in the darkness, chasing it away.
Would this be how I spent the rest of my days? In some sort of restless torment?
Watching a ghost in my memories for all eternity? She would haunt me. Mock me, even.
Why was that face here?
That small, pale, beautiful face?
Something fluttered in my chest once more. It was hot, boiling within my being.
It would not go away. It hurt. It burned me.
I shrunk aware from it; I did not want this sensation. It was painful, too painful. It burned through my being—my soul?—too hot for any sort of comfort. I wanted to crawl back in the darkness, wanted to hide in it once more. Where was the darkness?
I waited for the darkness to numb everything away once more, yet no relief came. Only that face.
That face with the ice blue eyes.
How could I forget that face?
I knew that face. But why.. Why was it here?
Was she here?
A flutter of some warm, happy, joyous sensation washed over me in waves.
Suddenly aware of my own mouth, I cried out. This feeling… It was dizzying. Terrifying.
Was she here?
Another sickening wave assaulted me at the thought. If she was here then… She has suffered the same fate as I. Lips opened to let out another cry, one that boiled with that same sensation from before. She did not belong here. She should not be here! I curled into myself, hiding from the thought. Where was the darkness? Still, it would not come to hide me from her. She should not be here. I could not stand the thought of her…
Dying.
And yet it was as if all of the greedy and selfish thoughts that lay dormant within myself cried out in another sickening wave of joy at that one word. I curled into myself further, wishing to make the thoughts go away… but they remained. I could not even hide the fact that I wanted her here with me from myself.
How… Sad.
Pathetic?
I had almost forgotten these words.
Didn't you want to forget? the darkness seemed to beckon, its warm tendrils on the small of my back.
Her face flashed once more in my thoughts. Her lips were turned downward in a familiar frown; disappointed in what I had become, no doubt.
No.
I could never forget her.
No matter how hard I tried, her face would always shine through the darkness.
Suddenly, dozens of other pinpricks of lights began to shine alongside hers. Dozens and dozens of faces appeared in a hazy crowd. She became lost in the sea of faces. For a sickening moment, I panicked, unable to see her in the light. Had I lost her? No…
I became aware of my own eyes, and opened them.
With a terrifyingly giddy jolt, I picked her face out of the blurry crown. A pale little face turned in my direction, and for a happy moment I thought that she had seen me as well. Then I realized it… Ice blue eyes cut right though me; she could not see me. It felt like I was falling once more, through a sea of desperation. She looked right past me, into the darkness beyond.
Something caught in my chest, and I struggled weakly against the sudden sensation. It was something I hadn't felt in a long time. How long? I struggled once more to collect my thoughts, but the darkness cast a murky haze over everything. It was warm, surrounding me. Protecting me, almost. It beckoned me to submit to its clutches. Come, it seemed to say, Come and be safe. Forget everything. Forget and be in peace.
Be in peace? Wasn't that what I wanted?
To forget?
The light only brings pain, it called once more, You will be safe with me.
Yes. That seemed to make sense. Wasn't I in peace before? I felt the darkness surrounding me once more, enveloping me in its warm grasp. Sleep, it cooed, Sleep and be in peace. I will make you forget. I will keep you safe.
Safe?
Yes... That sounded nice…
The light began to fade away. She began to fade away. Everything felt warm. And all I wanted to do was sleep. Just forget everything and sleep…
And sleep…
Forever…
Sleep forever and..
Ever…
and…
ev..
er…
Her presence cut through the darkness, illuminating everything in a sort of peculiar hazy way. Shock waves coursing through me, I squinted against the bright light and found a vaguely familiar scene; sifting through the scattered memories I had left, I realized it was Twilight Town. Fitting. She was dressed simply, in a loose sweater colored gray with black slacks underneath. A tiny, red heart was stitched unto her sweater.
Another strange sensation swept through me and, suddenly aware of my own hands, I brought one up to rest over the place where my own heart should be.
It's time.
Choose your fate.
The darkness was still around, ready to take me back if I chose to. But I could never return to that slumber. I could not be in peace when she was here. And if she was here…
I remember now.
I remember what I have to do.
She is neither the door to our destiny, nor the key that unlocks it.
Rather, she is merely the lock that guards the door.
Remember that.
The darkness shrunk away from me, leaving me to feel cold. Exposed. Naked.
The light shone on, briefly and brilliantly illuminating her one last time before she faded away from my sight.
I know what I have to do.
I'll find you, Number 0.
I'll find you…
Xinoi
The first time I saw it was at the market.
Twilight Town wasn't exactly extraordinary in any way. Neither were its citizens.
Neither was I, for that matter.
It had been yet another completely normal day; a hot, muggy day in Twilight Town that looked to be yet another lazy and boring one. It was peaceful, though. I suppose that much could be said for the town. The only lively place here was the market, but even that got exhausting after a little while. Located in the very center of town, dozens of people varying in age proceeded to browse the various shops and stalls. Children were playing the streets, their cries of joy too loud to hear parents calling to them with gentle smiles on their faces. Food stalls sprouted up everywhere, a new fad that occurred shortly after they first appeared in Traverse Town. Various smells mixed in the air, and the shouts of vendors could be heard above the crowd.
"Miss, Little Miss! Food shopping? Ah, we have all of the finest ingredients here, imported directly from various worlds! Come take a look!"
I paused, sparing the vendor a glance. He was a portly man, wearing an apron and jovial smile just like all the rest. Next to him was a cart full of all sorts of "exotic" foods. Upon closer inspection, I realized that it was just the average vegetables from Agrabah, polished and cleaned to look pretty. I shook my head and smiled, not caring for the spicy foods anyway, and was about to walk off when I noticed a strange fruit apart from all the others. It was rather large, yellow, and in the shape of a star. On impulse, I went closer to examine it.
"Excuse me, sir… what is this fruit? It looks… familiar." I pointed to the strange fruit, silently counting that there were thirteen all together. Thirteen… thirteen… Why does this feel… Important? I clenched my teeth, suddenly feeling the very beginnings of a headache; I'd been getting headaches more and more often these days, but that was probably just because of the unusually warm weather as of late. As if on cue, a bead of sweat slid down my back. I began to fan myself.
"Oho, you have a fine eye! That, little miss, is a Paopu fruit. They're legendary!" He chuckled, patting a rounded stomach and looking at me with a knowing glint in his eye. I frowned, playing with a loose string on the sleeve of my sweater.
"Legendary? I've never heard of them." It looked so familiar, though… The headache began to pound against my temple slowly. I shook it off and peered at the vendor as he held one of the star shaped fruits up in the light.
"Never heard of them? My word! They're all the rage on Destiny Islands. You see little miss, Paopu fruits grow only on those particular islands. And legend has it that if you share one with someone, your destiny becomes entwined with theirs forever. They're especially popular with the ladies there, you know," Once more he gave me a knowing wink, "These delicacies are hard to come by outside of the islands, especially after the disaster two years ago. I only had fourteen for sale today, buy sadly one of them withered away for some reason…"
As the man trailed off to wonder about his lost fourteenth fruit, I kept staring intently at the fruits on display. What was so special about them, anyhow? It seemed like more of a cheap Valentine 's Day gimmick, if anything. And yet… They looked so familiar…
I ran a hand through my hair restlessly, messing up the short and choppy black locks. It was only when I was about to turn away that the headache came back in full force. I gasped and clutched my temple, massaging it slowly.
"Miss! Are you alright? Do you want to sit down?"
His voice swam in my head. I blinked back tears, the headache worsening.
The sun seemed to beat down on me, worsening everything. I panted from the efforts of clutching my my temples. It had never gotten this bad! I was at a loss for what to do and the pain in my temples was making my thoughts murky. I couldn't concentrate.
"N-No.. I'm.. fine," I said through clenched teeth, "I'm fine."
My eyes began to water again, blurring the streets. I tried to blink them away, furiously massaging my temples once more in an attempt to relieve the pain.
Xinoi!
Hey! I got you something! Do you.. Well.. Do you like it?
I know you really don't care for sweets all that much, but I heard this story on this new world I found about this fruit. And you like the sky and... It's star-shaped and.. Stuff.. and.. Hey! Why are you laughing?
"What? I'm sorry... Did you say something?" I managed to gasp out to the vendor. It did not sound like his voice, but whoever spoke was very close and yet... Far away at the same time. I searched for them through watery eyes, but found nothing. The pain was becoming excruciating, and the hot tears now fell freely down my face as the vendor called for help.
What? I'm not nervous.. I don't get nervous... Remember? …No, don't be sorry. You dork, what do have to be sorry for? I got you a present, after all. Here, take it. It's a fruit, dummy. We split it, and then our destinies will be entwined... Or… Something like that. Yeah, didn't really pay too much attention to the guy I bought it from. Hey! Don't laugh!
Xinoi...!
"My name is Noii! What… Are you… Talking about?" The blood was pounding in my temples, and my own voice sounded murky, as if I was listening to everything underwater. Vision blurred, I couldn't see who handed me a glass of water, but I gulped it down gratefully. I gagged at the bitter taste of it; the drink turned out to be some sort of potion… In Twilight Town? Strange. It worked though, and my headache subsided.
I blinked away the rest of the tears and inhaled several greedy gulps of air. Someone had sat me down on a chair, which I was thankful for. I hadn't realized it up until then, but my legs had begun to shake from the episode. Still a little dizzy, the market square spun, but I was still able to see people who had stopped to watch me. I clutched at my head with one hand, trying to wipe the beads of sweat that had accumulated on my forehead off with the other. Someone whispered, 'Is she okay?' and that was when I saw… It.
I couldn't find the right words to describe it, but there it was… A strange… Cloud. It looked almost like black smoke, gathered a few feet away from where I was sitting. It floated there for a few moments, and that was when an incredible pain, much worse than the headache had been, clutched at my chest. I cried out, bringing my hand up to rest over my heart, more tears flowing from my eyes even thought they were already tightly shut in pain; could it be a heart attack? I was much too young at only 20! And yet… What else could it be? I couldn't think straight, my heart was beating furiously against my hand, and with each beat came a sharp and intense pain. For a horrible second, I thought I was going to die.
See, I told you it was good, didn't I? And to think that you didn't believe me. Maybe next time I can get you to try some ice cream…? I swear it's not sweet; I found it in this other word. It's strange… Kind of sweet… But salty. Maybe even bitter? Kind of like you… Sweet, but bitter…
Xinoi.
A warm, heavy hand took my shoulder.
"Little miss… Do you need a doctor?" It was the vendor, frowning down at me with a heavily concerned look in his eyes. I shook my head, glancing back to where the shadow was only moments ago. It was gone. Had it been my imagination? Perhaps it was only a hallucination from the headache?
"Are you sure?" he was skeptical, maybe even a little frightened. Beady black eyes looked down at me, scrutinizing my face. Something shone in them for a moment, but it was gone so quickly that I began to doubt if it really had been there in the first place. I shook my head once more, the pain in my chest having subsided alongside the headache.
"I'll be okay… Thank you, though. I really appreciate this." I tried to smile back at him, though it must have been very unconvincing as a moment later he had plucked one of the star shaped fruits and wrapped it in a paper bag, handing it to me with a warm smile. I took it in both hands at glanced at the empty spot where it had been previously. A little sticker reading 'Number 8' was visible. I had the eighth fruit…
"All I ask in return for the fruit is your name, little miss," the man helped me stand, interrupting my thoughts; subconsciously, I clutched the paper bag even tighter.
"Noii," I answered absent mindedly, "Why?"
"Oh, nothing really. Your eyes just reminded me of one of my old customers, little miss Noii," he chuckled softly before his tone became serious, "Well, be off on your way. Careful; you never know what you may encounter in the darkness, even in a town like this."
I walked a few paces, quite dazed after all of the previous excitement, until I realized that the man had vanished. I began to turn around in order to search for him, but by then the sun had begun to set and the afternoon crowd pushed out of the market square, gently pushing me alongside with them. I gave up my search a few moments into the task; besides, it was only some vendor. And what did I want to ask him, anyway? I couldn't even think of something that sounded the least bit reasonable, let alone sane.
Food shopping long forgotten, I gave the little paper bag a shake — as if to make sure the fruit was still inside — and proceeded to make my way to the tram station and, subsequently, home.
…
It wasn't until I had watched the setting sun on the tram ride home that a sudden chill went down my spine and the vendor's words came back to mind, along with the memory of that strange shadow that I had been so sure had only been my imagination.
You never know what you may encounter in the darkness, even in a town like this.
A/N: I really like writing from the perspective of somebody trapped in the darkness. I never had a change to do it, but the idea is intriguing somehow; especially since I've hardly read other people who've incorporated an actual first-person view from within the character's own mind. Um. Yeah.
I've actually been really discouraged with this story. It's my first shot at fan fiction in a long, long while and I know my writing style has changed. I feel as if it is too convoluted and messy now; like there are too many things going on at once. The only reason I decided to re-upload is because a friend of mine asked to see at least a few more chapters. This chapter had no changes, but I think the next one will.
Review please? I seriously need feedback on how this story is moving along. Constructive Criticism is greatly appreciated and very welcome :)
Anyway, until the next upload~
And so I venture on in my quest to write a semi-decent AxelOC fic. Oh god.
Apologies for the yucky summary; I'm terribly at writing those and probably will be forever D: